the-man-who-invented-chess

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

Didn't I have you sign an NDA!?

they're adding court politics to chess in the next update. you'll secretly roll 3d6-2 before each game to determine which piece is the opponent's "scheming vizier" - the secret power behind the throne

the vizier retains its normal movement rules, but loses you the game if it's taken (and the king doesn't, because he's just a figurehead (unless you roll a 5))

you still have to say "check" whenever you're 1 move away from winning, but you're also allowed a number of "plots" equal to the lowest d6 you rolled at the start. these are fake checks you can call out to fuck with your opponent

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

Believe it or not, I used to struggle with homosexuality 😭🙏 But I'm proud to say that, with practice, I've now gotten actually pretty good at it!🙏✨️🙏✨️

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

The secret meta to chess is that if you wait long enough during your turn your opponent will fall asleep, giving you the chance to kill them

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

In future updates the queen is going to have LASER EYES! And a new special move called: Platinum Sin Kill.

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

my headcanon is that donald duck just chooses to talk like that

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

How do you even get a "runaway train." That fucker's on tracks

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

I am giving the film rights to Doug Walker.

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

I'm the man who invented chess. No-one else! So why do OTHER PEOPLE get to put them on the shelves at barnes and noble? Does that sound fair to you!? Who do I sue? Who do I kill?

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

oh youre chess guy

You must be thinking of someone else.

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

they've taught computers how to play chess. The next hurdle: teaching a goose to do it.

Then we will pit the two against each other and finally settle this thing once and for all

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

So fun fact I had never actually seen a horse before when I made the knight piece look like that. Today I saw a horse for the first time and I'm really freaked the hell out

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

I want to publish the soundtrack to Chess but spotify and bandcamp both have restraining orders against me for different reasons

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

I honestly didn't think it'd be possible to win when I made it. I thought of it more as like a high score type situation

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

they should give the next pope a copy of CHESS! It's like undertale because there are two skeletons in it (one in each player) but I pandered by putting some bishops in there too!

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

For Easter I got a wristband that says WWJD (What Woo Jesus Doo) and another that says OEOAATTWWBB (Ooh Ee Ooh Ah Ah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang)

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

Every official chessboard is personally kissed by ME, The Man Who Invented Chess! So if you have one, you should get tested for covid now

[the-man-who-invented-chess]

Chess is really a love story. A love story about a polycule, made of sixteen pawns that want to kill each other