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the emcee laughing like he wasn’t allowed to for the first forty years of his life compilation

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completely enamoured with this thread

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unwillingly listening to taylor swift at work... no way yall are gagging over this sesame street music

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what are yall doing that we need this??

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*puts a disk in u*

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Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

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They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

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Can we make out under the People's bus stop, Comrade?

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shapeshifting attempts

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Switching between these every day

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Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

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Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

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fresh, clean no-terf version for reblogs!

Your mom and aunts aren’t on tumblr.  Please warn them about this as well.