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One always has a choice

In Hindi, there is an idiom that says, ”lakeer ka fakeer’ hona”, which in simple terms means to strictly follow something without applying much sense.

All of us have probably heard this many times that our current life situations are the consequences of the choices we have made in the past. You reap what you sow. In simple terms, everything that is taking place in our life has a direct connection to the decisions we have made in the past. Most of us, when we make a choice, treat it as a rulebook and stand by it for our entire lives. We rarely think whether the choices we have made are actually fetching us favorable results or not. If our life choices are not adding any value to our lives, then we must reflect and make suitable changes. Most of the time, we fear to change our previously made decisions, choices, or actions. Getting stuck with our own life choices is no less than a nightmare. Why do we actually hesitate to alter the choices that have been made in the past? What is it that is trying to stop us to try a new thing or make a different choice?

The answer is, we feel uncomfortable with the thought of facing hurdles that we may face while making changes in our lives. We are not sure whether stepping out of our comfort zone will be worth an effort. We get immune to the current routine without applying much sense to it, whether it still adds any value to our lives or not. In Hindi, we say, jaisa chal raha hai waisa chhalne do.

You always have a choice, always! Either continue to crib over your current problems or take a step to turn the table around!

When you are planning to alter your older decisions, think of it as a long-term investment for your own good fortune. Rather than taking the whole process as a burden, think about the positive changes you will come across while doing so. Yes, I agree that there is no guarantee involved in whether the new choices would fetch you the desired results. But then, as we say this often, there is no harm in trying. The urge to live a life you desire should be your number one motivating factor to take a step towards a change for the betterment. Keeping in mind the long-term benefits you shall receive will motivate you to change the course of your actions at any given point in time. It is never too late to take another path. One always has a choice.

Choices are never wrong or right. It is always the outcome that makes it look like we took the wrong decision or the right decision. So, you can always change the way you do things. You can always alter your approach. You can always change your priorities. Slowly and steadily, you can start to make changes in your daily life.

All of us have some control over our decisions. There is always a way to come out of the mess that has been created in your life. Unless you decide to stay immune to the sufferings. When someone says that they don’t have a choice, they simply decide to ignore exploring possible options available to them. They choose to crib. Avoid being a cry baby. The only hurdle while altering your choices would be your own hesitation in your mind to do so.

One always has a choice to let go of the things which are pulling you down.

One always has a choice to distance oneself from the people who make you feel uncomfortable.

One always has a choice to say yes to things, irrespective of what others think about you.

One always has a choice to try to pursue a passion seriously irrespective of the outcome.

One always has a choice to prioritize things that interests you, rather than fritter away time.

One always has a choice to step back from things that don’t interest you anymore without feeling guilty.

One always has a choice whether to get that extra 10 minutes of sleep and sacrifice your morning walk or stick to the routine.

Above are just a few simple statements I have illustrated as an example. When you analyze your daily routine or your current situation in life, you will realize that there is so much scope to make changes at every step in your life. Start taking ownership of your actions.

The risk of altering your decisions is worth the effort, than crying over spilt milk.

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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The first step to combat procrastination

All it takes to start combat procrastination is taking the very first step itself, whether willingly or unwillingly.

Being able to delve into a vibe and immersing oneself in a task is difficult until one actually gets into the vibe. Confused? Not to beat around the bush, here is a simple explanation. Whether you like to work on a task or not, once you start it ( even if it is against your will), you automatically get into the vibe slowly and start to feel comfortable doing the same. Taking the first step is always a bit painful. It is like an initial push. The first step requires more strength to start afresh. It is also true that once you overcome that first initial phase, it becomes easy to go through the rest.

Here are a few scenarios that are quite common when it comes to procrastination. And, we all can relate to them.

Remember the time when we had made a decision to follow a diet plan, to start a gym, or promise ourselves that daily morning walk routine? We would have taken these decisions at a time when we were highly motivated. But what happened when D-day arrived to do the same? Suppose we plan a weekend trip with friends but don’t feel like getting out of bed on the weekend.

Sometimes we don’t feel like following up on our own plans. And there could be many reasons for the same.

Fear of change is one: When we aren’t sure of the end result and are always in doubt whether it is worth putting an effort into or not.

Comfort zone: Being mentally unprepared to spread our wings and coming out of our comfort zone is one the biggest reasons behind delaying a task each time.

Reason: When our reason is not strong enough to bring beneficial changes in our lives, we are easily distracted and change the course of our decisions repeatedly.

Well, how to get into the vibe and take that ‘very first step’ is the point of discussion here. As I had mentioned at the beginning, all it takes to combat procrastination is that one initial push that we need. And this becomes easy, only when our reason behind a certain goal is strong enough. All of us have heard the word procrastination and are well aware of its meaning. Well, we are aware of its meaning but still don’t put much effort to overcome the same. why? the answer is procrastination itself.

When stuck in a rut of procrastination, we must consider the steps below. This will help us analyze why we still haven’t started work towards our goals.

A NEED FOR A STRONGER REASON: Go back in time and consider why you had actually taken that particular decision in the first place. If your reason was strong enough and you know why it had motivated you enough in the first place, you will find it easier to fight against procrastination. This will at least help you in giving a kick-start to whatever you want to do.

A FRUITFUL END RESULT: Once your reason is clear to you, think about the positive end result that you would like to achieve. Consider the level of satisfaction and happiness that you would get out of it. The end result should make you excited to get you back in action. Be very clear on the goals you wish to achieve.

UNPLEASANT END RESULT: Consider the fact, that there will be a loss of opportunity if you don’t take action well on time. What will happen if we do not utilize the time in hand well enough. Let us consider that it is your this last chance to make things work. Circumstances change every day and you do not want to let time slip away from your hands.

BEING PRIVILEGED: Practicing gratitude and paying respect to the privileges you have in life will keep you on your toes in terms of making your life better, with each passing day. Be grateful to have all the facilities in life, a healthy body, sound mind, a good friends circle, a family to support, and so on. Not everyone is privileged enough in life. Some people have had to fight continuously for survival and basic necessities of life. So let us be grateful for the resources we have in hand and try to make the most out of life.

TIME: You must have heard the very famous phrase,’ time and tide wait for none’. If you don’t make use of the favorable opportunities, you may never get the same chance again.

Benefits of Overcoming Procrastination:

When we overcome procrastination, we see ourselves following a certain routine and completing tasks within the set timelines.

A DISCIPLINED LIFE: I agree the word discipline is not very amusing but is worth the effort. When we overcome procrastination, we start doing things in a routine that automatically leads to a disciplined life. Completing tasks on time and following a routine gives a level of satisfaction and makes things work timely.

FEEL-GOOD FACTOR: Yes, there is no doubt that we feel good each time we achieve a goal, whether it is a short-term goal or a long-term one. A set routine or a discipline may not sound very interesting but the results are definitely beneficial.

Writing and sharing my ideas is something that I really like to do on regular basis. But, even then I find myself struggling most of the time when it comes to actually doing the same. Procrastination can kick in even when you love doing things of your interest. The only way to fight is to have a stronger reason that makes you excited enough to pursue it and a reasonable goal.

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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A free spirit and not a rebel

Influencers are not the only ones we see on Instagram and other social media sites. I believe, every other person around us is an influence in some way or the other. The aura created around us, at times, is such that we end up doing the same things we see other people doing. Whether we are in a conscious or subconscious mode, we are, most times get influenced by every action taking place around us. And we end up assuming it must be the right thing to do. We follow the rules and rituals blindly, without questioning. Our subconscious mind forces us to believe in certain values to such an extent, that we don’t see the world from our perspective. We believe every action taking place around has some truth and value hidden in it. We don’t see life in a broader sense. We hardly pay attention to what we actually want. We agree to follow the same rules and rituals that others are asking us to follow. It is not wrong to get influenced by those around you. But, before we blindly follow every course of action, we must know whether the same is relevant to us or not. Never allow others to make you believe in false and irrelevant values under any sort of compulsion. Avoid following an imaginary rule book created by those who want to justify their own actions by making others do the same thing.

Steve Jobs once said: “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary”.

I had mentioned in my previous blog that one should not feel guilty about saying ‘no’ or refusing to follow the most common rules that have been prevailing for long. Ignoring our choices under the pressure of societal rules is not the smartest thing to do.

Gender stereotyping is something that has been prevalent since a long time. Trying to get oneself fixed in a stereotype image will not make us more acceptable in the society we live in. It will only add to the feeling of being secure, in terms of hiding away in the crowd and trying to avoid being judged by the people. Do not end up as someone else’s clone. In order to get comfortable with our own emotions, we need to learn the not-so-subtle art of being unapologetic. Breaking people’s perceptions regarding a stereotype image is the first step of displaying what freedom means to you. Let everyone accept you the way you are. When we vibe with ourselves, we understand our likes and dislikes better. We get a clear idea of how we want to live life as per our own choices, irrespective of the practices that others expect us to follow. There shouldn’t be any element of guilt involved in doing so.

All of us have been brought up and groomed in a certain way. We have constantly been reminded of the deadlines regarding the right time to do everything in life, since our childhood. All of us, at some point in time, have been told that certain goals should be achieved at a certain age, right from education to everything else we tend to do in our lives. An impressive quote that I came across on LinkedIn states, ”you are scared to take a 4 years course because you are 32 and by the time you are done, you’d be 36. Whether you take the course or not you will still be 36”. The quote seems to be the perfect way to tell us that age is just the number. There is no hard and fast rule as to when and how everything is to be done. We all grew up hearing statements like: By so and so age, education should have been completed. There exists a right age to get married or to start a family, divorces should not take place, and the list goes on endlessly. Who made these rules? Who you are trying to make happy?

I believe every person has the right to live and should have the freedom to follow his or her own course of action. It is okay for anyone to live a life of a bachelor. Companionship should not be tagged as a necessity in life. Getting married or having a kid should not be the only goal in life. Not everyone is meant to be a partner or a parent. I do not say that we should not respect time or go against everything, but one should not be pressurized to do such things. All of us have been reminded and pressurized to live a perfect life. A life that seems perfect from the outside to others, but yourself. So, it is better to follow your heart and intuition, as there is no guarantee of contentment in life.

Whoever tries to bring change in his or her pattern of lifestyle is seen as a rebel. I call such people a ‘free spirit and not a rebel’. Who are we trying to please so much that we feel zero guilt and uneasiness while ignoring our own needs and choices in the first place? No one will ever be genuinely concerned about your state of contentment in life after you have followed the path shown by them. They will naturally assume that you are living a so-called perfect life. But, in reality, you may find yourself lost after some time since you are not following the path of your choices. You may feel hopeless. You may feel that is too late for everything. Well, the good news is, it is never too late to bring a change in your life.

Everyone has the right to freedom of thought. All of us are free to adopt our own beliefs. There should not be any interference in the same, under any circumstances.

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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An addiction to obsession is dangerous

Addiction involves deriving pleasure from activity in a repetitive mode. Unlike addiction, obsession is somewhat of an overwhelming feeling. Addiction towards a particular thing is what you consume, whereas an obsession consumes you and your ability to think. Chances are high that you can get rid of an addiction; shedding an obsession needs more willpower. It is uncontrollable, irresistible and at most times may result in unpleasant consequences, if left untreated.

We do not realize the pros and cons of our deeds when under the spell of an obsession. It creates a blockage to our thinking ability and decision-making power. Hence an addiction to obsession could turn out to be ugly. Self-analysis of one’s own action is necessary from time to time. A little realization of your own actions is necessary. A subconscious realization that we are getting carried away or losing self-control should be immediately put into place.

Sometimes an obsession is towards a particular feeling, not with the actual person/place/thing.

Being in love is a wonderful feeling. We don’t realize it is that feeling ( a feeling of being loved) towards which are obsessed and not the person. At most times we confuse the fascination for that wonderful feeling with that of an actual person.

The feeling of being loved or being in love gives us immense happiness, irrespective of the person involved. Hence, it is the feeling that we are obsessed with, and not the actual person.

When we get habitual to a particular lifestyle, it is the feeling of that comfort that keeps us glued, irrespective of the materials in use.

Being obsessed with something for a long duration has the same effect on the brain as when under the influence of a drug. We don’t realize that the feelings we would have for someone have already vanished; what remains is our obsession (obsession with the feeling and not the actual thing) which gives us an impression that we are still in love with the same person. Here, it becomes very important to keep a check on ourselves in order to avoid taking decisions that carry no meaning in our life. Obsession is all about achieving a particular goal at any cost without thinking about whether it still holds value or not.

Obsession makes us blind. We tend to ignore and believe what we see. The truth lies right in front of us but we refuse to change our mindset. It is only when we get what we had wished for, we see the other side and the opportunities we missed. Life is all about the next adventure. Change with time. Do not hold on to unnecessary things which once had meaning in your life.

Overcoming obsession

Without going into much detail, there are two factors about which I would like to share my thoughts that can help in overcoming obsession:

-Maintain a detailed journal regarding your everyday behavior with the people around you. Read it with an unbiased mindset, without letting distractions come in between. Use some time to think and analyze your actions. The exercise may serve as a mirror.

-It is advisable to talk to a trusted friend, someone who can listen and advise you without any judgments. A genuine opinion and advice could help you break the spell of obsession. Avoid spending time alone when your thoughts go largely out of control.

-Start drifting your thoughts to a hobby or an activity that you enjoy doing the most. Distracting yourself and keeping busy with the activity will automatically give you a break from the monotonous thought process.

Above all, acceptance is the key. Accepting the fact that our thoughts regarding a particular thing are going out of control is the first step towards helping yourself getting rid of the obsession.

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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Do not try to destroy your desires

If you do not want your life to come to a halt, then avoid killing your desires. This might sound like a simple question, but it will make more sense with each passing day. Preventing yourself from doing what you really wish to or love to do, can put a full stop to your thought process, decisions and choices. Physically, you may continue doing tasks that are supposed to be done out of duty, but there won’t be a complete presence of mind at all times due to a lack of happiness or enjoyment. Confusion over the question of whether to follow your heart or the mind? has always prevailed. It is advisable not to follow your heart when experiencing extreme emotions which can lead to incorrect decisions. It is also advisable to not ditch your heart. You may become successful in killing your desires for the time being and feel that it is the right decision, but trust me, this may create a permanent regret somewhere in your life. Hence, do not try to destroy your desire, because you cannot. Wishes are never-ending. You kill a wish today, another will be born tomorrow with greater intensity. How long do you think you can stay away from a feeling of fulfillment or enjoyment? A person who tries to control everything or wishes to kill all of his/her desires is a person half dead. It is human nature to crave things (irrespective of whether it’s right or wrong) and it should be considered normal if we go ahead and pursue it.

What has to happen has to happen. Any desire you are trying to win control over today will bounce back again in your life later on. Too much control, and living a life full of logic, could result in frustration. It is very important to let yourself loose sometimes and follow your heart. When we try not to think about a particular thing, unconsciously we tend to think more about it which creates growing desperation internally. The vibes are so strong sometimes that we eventually end up doing what we have been avoiding for a long. What had been left incomplete once in life will find its way back to fulfill itself at some point in time. There is always a reason why the desire was born in the first place, and always had a meaning in the first place. Ignoring and controlling your wishes will only create a pool of questions. You eventually end up doing what you are supposed to do, maybe with a higher intensity because it has been controlled in the past. Be it career-related issues or relationships, you tend to go back and change things that you had controlled in the past.

What I mentioned in my first blog, I would like to share again here: ‘We might never get to the next stage or next step and do what we really want to do in life, until and unless we satisfy our current curiosities’. Sometimes an unfulfilled desire turns into a thought, which is so provoking that it creates a constant uneasiness. It is important to listen and pay attention to the voice in your head. Confining your happiness just because of the rules made by society is not advisable. We are sometimes afraid of getting feedback from people. We are anyways sacrificing our happiness by not doing what we love to do. So, why not give it a try and clarify whether our desire was actually worth spending time on. You can never subtract a desire from your life, each subtraction will result in the addition of another one with higher intensity.

As it is said, desire is the cause of all misery and sorrow, I do agree with it. But, unfulfilled desires could cause you a bigger misery. Yes, we cannot fulfill all our wishes because it is never-ending but we can definitely work on some, to keep us moving ahead in life. A part of our personality will never grow or develop when life is dominated by over-thinking and over-controlling. You will never know what you are capable of if you don’t give a chance to things that your heart has been longing for. A suppressed personality is an outcome of killing desires in life because in that case, you are pushing things away which brings happiness.

Try to live a balanced life. Don’t get carried away quickly in the pool of emotions; don’t try to control every aspect of your life in order to appear perfect from the outside. The beauty of life lies in human imperfection, until and unless you wish to live a robotic life.

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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Self-judgment is negative self-talk

Judgment from the world can be scary, but do not let it come in the way and overshadow your passion. Each one of us holds non-identical views. Being affected by everyone’s viewpoint is a waste of time; it contributes to confusion and doubt in the mind. We must listen to everyone’s viewpoint, try to grab what is relevant to us, and drop the rest. We cannot change or control anyone’s view. What we can do is be least affected by it, and stay focused on what we are supposed to do.

It does not matter whether you are doing your best in life or the other way round, you will always be judged. A human brain never stops thinking. We will always be bombarded by multiple perceptions. To some, you may be an idol, and to others, you may not. Acting upon our actions based on what others think will only slow down our pace and cause delays in completing our goals.

Getting rid of self-judgment is the first step before getting rid of the side effects of being judged by others. Self-judgment is something triggered by external factors, it does not necessarily involve judgments from the world.

What happens when we judge ourselves?

I bet many of us are unaware that self-judgment creates more hindrances than being judged by others. We all judge ourselves daily creating doubts, confusion, and an inability to make the right decisions. As I said, the human brain is always on the run. We analyze ourselves or compare our lives to others on a daily basis. Either we get too relaxed or crib about certain things when comparing our lives with others. In both scenarios, there is a possibility of getting carried away and losing our path. Avoid being too harsh on yourself. Accept your emotions and be friends with yourself first. Be your own superstar in your head first.

Self-doubt and fear of unpleasant consequences are the by-products of self-judgment.

Self-doubt and fear:

The most difficult thing in life is to know oneself. How will we know whether our plan of action will work or not if we get stuck in a web of self-judgment even before starting it? Self-judgment creates thoughts related to the uncertainty of being successful in carrying out action plans. It is absolutely normal to not be great at everything we do. It is absolutely normal to try a different approach to doing things that others may not understand. It is absolutely normal even when we do nothing at all, or work at our own pace. Until and unless we understand our own feelings and needs, we will not be able to get comfortable and accept the current situation as the first step.

Lack of appreciation, feedback, and support from others:

Self-judgment is created when we aren’t bestowed with the desired appreciation and support for our actions. The result is demotivation. If we are confident enough and satisfied with what we are doing, it will certainly fetch us good results, going forward. Do not get carried away too easily if you get a neutral response from the outside world. Continue giving it your best shot. Every plan takes time to fetch fruitful results.

Comparing our life to others:

Everyone has a different goal in life and different levels of capability. It is baseless to compare our lifestyle with others. Everyone has their own reasons behind their actions. Getting carried away with what others are doing may land us in confusion, and this is where we start to judge ourselves. Focus on what you want to do. Give yourself a chance. Get into the vibe and you will experience the energy favoring you, which will give you confidence in what you are doing. It may be a good idea to give yourself a break from social media to avoid distraction.

Multiple unsuccessful attempts:

Not getting the desired result even after multiple attempts is one of the factors influencing our judgment about ourselves. It is advisable to try a completely different approach to things if the old methods do not work. Instead of doubting oneself, try to use a different approach, whichever works best for you. No harm in asking for guidance from someone who has more experience.

Insufficient gratitude:

Being caught in a web of self-judgment, we forget to value things we have in hand. We forget to be thankful for the good things we have. First of all, when we practice gratitude, we tend to bring positivity to our thoughts. This helps in raising our morale. The situation could have been worse if we did not have the valuable assets we have right now. The moment we express gratitude in life, the feeling of anxiety and fear starts to reduce. We think that the cause of our anxiety, fear, and anger is either caused by a person or an event. But actually, it is our own image in our mind, which we are unable to change.

Hang out with the people who bring the best in you:

A circle of good friends, whether small or big, creates a huge impact on how comfortable and happy you feel around them. It is advisable to stay away from toxic people. People who don’t judge you directly, but continue to create unpleasant situations or conversations which make you uncomfortable. Hence, hanging out with the people who bring the best is therapy in itself.

Try to see your life from the third-eye’s perspective:

There is a common saying: grass is always greener on the other side. This says it all. Things beyond our reach always seem tempting. We are curious to know or grab things that we don’t have. Try to see your life from a third-eye perspective. Paying attention to your own qualities or things you are good at can change the whole self-image in your mind. This helps big time in boosting confidence. Bring out the teenager in you, the one who was happy and proud to flaunt all his/her belongings. Try out different ways, whichever works best for you.

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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‘NO’- A guilt-free word

Refusing to follow the most common rules that have been prevailing for long does not make you a rebel. Not following any of those rituals, rules and other practices which do not add any value to our lives and are just a mere show-off is absolutely justifiable. Self-shaming should not come in our way when we refuse to delve into a lifestyle that others expect us to follow. The not-so-subtle art of saying ‘No’ is a practice that we all must follow and learn to execute when required. This doesn’t mean that we say no to everyone and everything basis our interests but, one needs to learn to prioritize his/her own life. Only you can prioritize your life. No one else is going to do that for you. Saying yes to every request or agreeing to follow every instruction given to us just to fit ourselves in a category of a people pleaser is equivalent to saying ‘no’ to your own needs and priorities. Ignoring your own choices just to get a badge of a crowd-pleaser will do no good in the long run.

Saying ‘no’ out of a genuine reason is far better than a fake ‘yes’.

The art of saying ‘no’ is not a common human trait. A lot of us feel hesitant while doing so. Sometimes, an effort to live life on your terms might be seen as a display of outlandish behavior by people. So we need to understand this first, that most people act out of their own interest and I see nothing wrong in that. We all have the right to check that our own needs are met first. All of us need to make sure that our priorities in life should not be overshadowed by some else taking decisions for us. Practice the art of saying ‘no’ whenever it is appropriate. What happens when we say ‘yes to everyone every time? Each time we agree to act upon something against our wish leads to frustration very soon. A constant feeling of dissatisfaction, uneasiness, anger, and confusion prevails upon us because we give less attention to our own needs and choices. Yes, I agree that being likable by others is something that we are all drawn towards. Nobody wants to be in anyone’s bad books because we do not want to spoil our relationship with others. Having an appreciation from someone when you act according to them boosts our confidence and makes us feel good. And these are the reasons that compel us to say ‘yes’ even when we are sure that it is not the right thing to do. But, one must know when to draw a line before we let anyone take control over our time, choices, and decisions in life.

A refusal does not always need to be accompanied by harsh words. A humble way to say no to someone backed up by a genuine reason is something that will avoid offensiveness on a part of a requestor. It also gives us the confidence to put our point forward without any hesitation. There is nothing wrong with being straightforward. The free flow of ideas follows when you give more attention to your own feelings. There is no way you can compensate for the time lost. Time lost in giving more importance to what others think of you, how others might treat you if you act against their wish, will eventually cause you more harm. More harm in the sense of wasting your own time on irrelevant thoughts, which will not fetch any output. We may lose an opportunity if we keep worrying about the consequences of going ahead with our own choices.

‘No’ – A guilt-free word.

A rude expression coming from a person to whom we say ‘no’ should not let you fall into a pit of guilt. It is common for anyone to react in such a way when things do not go ahead as per the wish. Do not change your decisions based on temporary reactions which you might get while following your own course. A genuine and sincere explanation as to why you cannot agree to what you have been asked to do will eventually help both parties to have a clear understanding of the situation. This will not ruin your relationships with others or make you look like a selfish person. As I had mentioned above that everyone acts out of their own interest, so there is nothing wrong with following your heart. It is worth the effort. Slowly people will understand and place a greater value on your time. They will have more respect for your time and see you as a leader. A quote which says ”it is important to make someone happy, and it is important to start with yourself” says it all. By doing so you will get more time to pursue your actions without any guilt and eventually have a feeling of content in life.

I would like to end here with a quote ” A ‘no’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble”- M.Gandhi

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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No friends around? best time to make each day count!

Not much socialising happening in life? May be feeling a bit low and dull? Kind of missing the hassle and that feeling of rush which use to happen at work and college while meeting deadlines? missing the gossip with colleagues at work and with friends at study? last but not the least drinks party after work is what some of us might be missing to the core! Aah, who doesn't want to spend some quality time with a buddy in the evening after all?For anyone who always had a busy work life would definitely miss all the above-mentioned things at some point. So this is how our life goes on -  get up in the morning, go to work, achieve the target at work, feel good about it and finally reward yourself with a nice get together with friends/colleagues after work accompanied by a glass of wine maybe. Making each day count! isn't it? For most of us, this is how the day starts and ends without the slightest change in the routine. A busy mind seldom yields polished thoughts.

When you are alone and not have enough people around to interact, or maybe you have switched to another city or country or even a company and doesn't have a friend circle, then, that is the best time when one gets a second chance to reframe the actions of life. How? An empty mind is not always a devil's workshop. The best ideas come to our mind when we start to spend some quality time with ourselves. Creativity kicks in when one gets a break from the daily routine and most important when there are no or fewer distractions in life (COVID-19 lockdown is one such example). And that is why I had mentioned in the heading that even when you are alone or get a sudden set back from being distracted from the daily life routine, you can still make each day count! by learning something new or start building something today which might add value to life in the coming days! which would have not been possible otherwise(with a busy schedule). Nothing lasts forever.  If today you are feeling lonely and have no fixed routine, tomorrow things might get change suddenly and you would be ready to dive into the busy lifestyle once again. Try to build something valuable in life apart from your 9 to 5. Time in hand, once lost, you can never get it back. This is a fact.

"Sometimes, focusing on what you have in hand can get you back your lost things and even experiences similar to the past! So, don't count on what you have lost, focus on what you have right now". When tomorrow the situations would change again, you might not get the chance to do tasks which you could have done earlier without any distractions.

Being an ex-pat for more than 5+ years, I totally get it what it takes to get oneself adjusted to the new surroundings. Diversity makes life interesting. The phrase from William Cowper's poem " variety is the spice of life" says it all. Getting a quality time to learn new things at a new place brings in a lot of ideas. The monotonous routine or always being surrounded by the crowd sometimes creates a blockage in the thought process. When you are alone, you get to think about yourself, whether there is something new which you would like to try in life. This creates a situation of self analyzation. You get time to plan things or reframe the old ones. You can clearly estimate what lies ahead of you. So having a phase in life when you actually get a good amount of time in hand and fewer friends around is the best time to do your research on your own life actions. As they say, whatever happens, happens for good. Who knows there might a reason behind the change in lifestyle which has forcefully entered into your daily routine. Make most out of each day and the current situation.  The grass always looks greener on the other side. In the past, we were looking out for a change or break and when that happens, we do not accept it easily. We cling to the past and wish to have the same things in life over and over again. I believe there is a hidden agenda behind every change we come across. It is totally up to us, what do we do with all the time in hand.

Even the smallest distraction can have bigger consequences. When alone or feeling lonely, try not to sulk over it, make it your strength. There is no one around to influence or mould the originality of your thoughts. Challenge your negative thoughts. Do what you wish to do and what makes you happy ( click to read👉Do what makes you happy). Practise gratitude, be thankful for the free time you get. There are lot many people who wish to aspire so many things in life but fall short of time in hand due to worldly duties and family responsibilities. Consider yourself lucky when you get all the free time in the world with fewer distractions. We live in a fast-paced world, changes happen around us all the time. Getting quickly adapted to the surroundings and adding value to each day is something which would keep us pumped up.

The story of a successful award-winning blogger (founder of shoutmeloud) - how an accident changed his life? the story in his own words👉On June 28, 2009, I had a terrible accident that changed my life forever. The doctors told me that I would never be able to walk again, and I nearly lost all hope and faith for a good life. I was devasted for days but when I saw my parents crying, the strange realization " am I the only one with the problem?" changed the course of my life. I was only 22 but this strange realization has given new strength and direction to my life which is continued till now. I am not the only one with the problem and this is where I should focus on how I can make things better for myself and for people around me. I was bedridden for 6-7 months but instead of giving up, I turned it into an opportunity. I spent countless hours learning and honing my skills in blogging. A big thanks to an excellent surgeon (Dr.Prateek Gupta), I ultimately was able to walk and run again after being bedridden for seven months.

A clear example of how one decides to utilize its time and make most out of every situation even during gloomy times. Never waste a good crisis 👈click to read the full article.

https://theguardiansoul.com/2020/09/no-friends-around-best-time-to-make-each-day-count.html

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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How filtered listening limit us-

https://theguardiansoul.com/2020/09/how-filtered-listening-limit-us.html

Do not get yourself lost in la la land!

Listening to what you wish to listen and ignoring the rest is termed as filtered listening. Have you ever experienced the same with yourself? As human beings, we quickly jump to the conclusion as soon as we get to know the topic of discussion, and assume that we know the rest. That is where we may miss out the most important information or key points. Listening is an active process. While starting to read this blog, most of us may think that okay so we need to avoid the practice of filtered listening and should carefully listen to the complete discussions or conversations. Well, that is not the only thing I would be discussing in this short and to the point blog post!

Pre-assumption could lead to unpleasant consequences. We generally hear the statement that good listeners are more efficient than good speakers. One should be a good listener. But, if we have a kind of pre-assumption mindset or an attitude of 'okay yeah I have heard this before', then trust me, without even realising, you may miss out on minutest details or I would say attention to detail would be always a missing aspect in your daily routine. If you are a patient listener but you tend to filter the conversation basis on your judgement and listen to only what you wish to listen, misunderstandings are bound to happen Also, many employers seek this skill, looking for an employee who has attention to detail skill set, in other words, who has a good presence of mind.

Never-ever

Never ever pre-judge someone basis on past experience

Never ever pre-judge someone with negativity

Never ever pre-judge someone basis on rumors

If we listen to someone basis on past experience, negativity and rumours then we may not be ready to accept what the other person is trying to convey in his/her message. Listening to someone without any past judgement is similar to the process of 'unlearning and learning'. Unlearning what you already know about the topic or a person's character and then learning what is in store for you after careful listening. Do not allow your thoughts to wander.

When does filtered listening kicks in ?

Placating: In Hindi, we say " haa mei haa milana". Intend to make someone less angry is basically referred to as placating.  Just to be in good books of others or wishing that 'everyone should like me', we don't actually listen to what is being conveyed to us and quickly agree with whatever the other person says. Being in a hurry always to portray a good picture of ourselves in front of others, we lose the art of listening in between.

Criticism and feedbacks: When faced with criticism and feedbacks, offensiveness kicks in most of the time. When offensive kicks in, we are not in a great mood to listen carefully about what is being conveyed to us and miss out on the scope of improvement. And then we try our level best to prove ourselves to be right anyhow! In an argument to prove ourselves right, we twist the facts and make excuses so as not to lose the cold war.

Comparison: When we are always in a spirit of comparison and in a state of self-assessment, we pay attention to only those words or ideas which actually matter to us and rest is being ignored. The heat of comparison leads to the distraction when listening to a speech or conversation.

I would like to end here with a quote: "We don't see things as they are. We see them as we are"

Stay connected, Nikita Kohli

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10 posts!

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Mindset: Rich mindset or a poor mindset

What is the right mindset according to you? What all thoughts a person holds who have the right mindset? If not sure of the answer then let us move to the next one. Can you define what is the wrong mindset in a comment below at the end of the post?

When you do something which you feel is right according to you, gives you a belief that you are carrying the right mindset. The same action of yours might not be completely understood by others, so they might define you or your actions as a result of having the wrong mindset. Mindset is never wrong or right, it would always be as it is, which means' having a specific mindset'. There is no certification available which can declare that the kind of perspective or a thought process we carry is whether wrong or right. It is just our own perception and as I had mentioned earlier in my previous blog post that perception is not a reality.

'Switching' from one mindset to another is the crux here and I cannot deny the fact that this is where we all find ourselves struggling every time, including myself till date. Most of the solutions to our problems could be found with less hassle, if, we work on tweaking a little bit of our thought process or beliefs which we have been holding firmly. Approaching problems, in the same manner, every day would give us the same results. Change is sometimes difficult, and I personally do agree with the fact. The burden of doing a 'difficult' task within a stipulated time period would, of course, create a tension.

Let me correct the last sentence which I had just written above-

The word 'difficult' I used in the above sentence, is the kind of mindset I carry and which is why I feel that the task is difficult. Note: me defining the task 'difficult' is not a wrong mindset I carry, it is just a perception that I carry. Working hard and making things simpler for myself would definitely change my attitude towards it and I might not quote it as 'difficult' the next time. So, it is all about switching from one mindset to another. Instead of quoting a mindset wrong or right, I would like to use the term rich and poor mindset. Planning our day, even one day, in an organised manner compared to the previous day, to complete pending a list of tasks could be considered as having a rich mindset for that day.

When we come across the word 'servant' or a 'domestic helper', most of us imagine a person as a less intelligent one. Not necessarily! this is just our perspective we carry about this profession termed as 'domestic helper'. It might be possible that to work as a servant was not his or her choice and in actual the person might have been a well-educated degree holder which is unknown to the world.

Who could have imagined that a vegetable seller could talk in fluent English and is a PhD degree holder? We all know, what kind of perspective we generally hold on the educational background of a vegetable seller. The headlines in the news which went viral on 23rd July 2020 is as below:

The video of a woman vegetable seller speaking fluently in English while protesting against municipal authorities in Indore has gone viral on social media. The woman, Raisa Ansari, claims that she holds a PhD (Doctor Of Philosophy) in Material Science from Indore's Devi Ahilya University.

A journey towards the outer change starting with the inner change:

we hear this often that we really need to bring change in ourselves or should evolve with time. Bringing the inner change, which is to have a shift in mindset paradigm could be considered as breaking the ice. I would say that 90% of our efforts should be focused on bringing the change from inside. Once this is implemented successfully, trust me, the outer change is something which will happen along with it by putting only the remaining 10% of the effort. Eliminate the mindset of impossible, change your own perspective wherever necessary, give your monotonous thought process a little break, things will start falling at the right place gradually.

Fixed Mindset

There are articles available on what is called a fixed mindset. I will not go deeper into that but would like to put my message across with the help of a small example.

-A man who believes in spending not more than 50 dollars on a pack of t-shirt he buys each time keeping in mind his budget, which is fair enough. Somewhat later, he gets a good raise in his salary which is enough to afford items at a higher price and experience a luxurious lifestyle. But he restricts himself to spending only 50 dollars irrespective of the income he currently holds in hand and prefers to have the same lifestyle, not by choice but because of the same old beliefs, he had been carrying.

Having a fixed mindset will make him do the same thing what he had been doing so far irrespective of the changes happening around him or in his life. To evolve with time, one needs to have a flexible thought process.

A fixed mindset creates an imaginary benchmark in our brain and that is one challenging part when we are trying to bring the inner change i.e a change in mindset paradigm.

Growth Mindset

- The second man with a similar habit of spending not more than 50 dollars for a pack of t-shirts, when gets a salary raise eventually, think of a better lifestyle and does not mind spending more compared to what he used to spend earlier on the same product. Does not hesitate to try a new brand and explore better options and always look forward to changes which can bring better results.

A growth mindset will always have a scope of improvement and would overcome hurdles gradually.

Whatever has become the reality now, was a 'thought' once. Believe it or not, every action of ours is an outcome of a thought process or the kind of perception we are carrying. Never waste a good crisis because of a fixed mindset, that there won't be opportunities available in the middle of a crisis.

Stay connected,

Nikita Kohli

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Expectations?? be your own superstar in your head!

No, I am not going to talk about expectation hurts and all that stuff.

It is very natural when we are expecting a piece of good news or an exciting event to take place in life, our expectations rise. Not easy to control what we feel most of the time but wait a minute, we can definitely hold our horses on what we had planned to do basis our expectations, that expectation which has not become a reality yet. Having a fixed mindset and planning things too much in advance is where we might lose the battle and lower our morale. Circumstances change every minute. When a well-planned event does not happen the way we had expected it to happen, we get diverted from our goal and lose the ability to re-think for a while due to the sudden setback. I am sure right now we all can relate to a similar incidence after reading the above sentence.

Having the expectation is not at all a wrong approach, in fact, it is somewhere connected to our dreams and everyone has a right to think big. But, one must know when to put a brake on the same. Dream big, feel good and then come out of that feeling to work on it in the real world and then set the expectations for yourself - Find Your Why-

Refrain from being a crowd-pleaser every time. Sometimes we do things to please others and to get attention.  Note this: Attention from our loved ones and appreciation for our hard work from people around you do not last long. Attention is something which is not long-lasting. If your motivation is only based on the attention and appreciation from people around you then, I would say we might get stuck in pleasing others and do things which only help us draw public attention. To impress only a set of people around us, would lead us nowhere. Keep the larger audience into consideration. Some might not meet up to our expectation but some will. Nothing wrong in seeking attention! Everyone likes it and enjoy the moment. But, to put a full stop to it so as to continue working towards our goal is more important.

Do not let your spark dull or lose your enthusiasm just because the plan did not go according to the expectation. Having the high expectation was a part of your thought process, and you are free to mould your mind the way you want to. Try doing something which can cheer you up and help you detox you from the thoughts which have been pulling you down.

Expecting a good appraisal (salary raise) at work is one of the best examples I could give here. Not to go deeper into the subject, we all know how one feels when the appraisals do not meet up to the expectation level. That does not mean we stop working further because of the same reason. Continue doing what you love to do. Attention, appreciation and appraisals should not come in your way and hamper your performance. Nothing lasts long. You are born to be happy and feel good about yourself irrespective of the circumstances! That's all. Also, you can only keep others happy around you, if you yourself are contented with yourself.

As I had mentioned in my previous blog post - Enjoy your mistakes - that there is no fun when everything happens your way. Meeting expectations each time could lead to unexciting days at times. Accept the randomness happening around you. Dream big and keep the expectation level decent enough so as not to get carried away with it to avoid unpleasant consequences. The expectation is just a belief, and that is one thing which we own completely, and others should not have a role to play with it. Put your heart into what you do irrespective of the result, prepare or train your mindset for the fruitful and unfruitful results both. A sudden setback would never be able to touch you then. Mood swings would be easy to control to some extent.

Be your own superstar in your head!

Stay Connected,

Nikita Kohli

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Let bygones be bygones : 20 Life Facts

https://kohlinikita.blogspot.com/2020/07/let-bygones-be-bygones-20-life-facts.html

An expression of gratitude can do wonders in making relationships emotionally strong, Try it

Creativity peaks in the morning, as the brain is more active in morning hours and less polluted by thoughts unlike throughout the day

Let bygones be bygones. Frowning upon the past is equivalent to wastage of time

Your vibe attracts your tribe. Think positive to attract people with a positive outlook and positive situations in your life

Situations are temporary, do not get disheartened if things do not happen your way

Perception is not a reality

There is a difference between 'sadness' and 'depression'. Do not mix it

Avoid making decisions on the basis of Chinese whisper! Know the facts before taking a distorted gossip seriously

Defeat is just a part of life and that too a temporary one

Patience and hope will always make you continue working on your dream

You are solely responsible for your own lifestyle you are living at the moment. People can only control you if you allow them to do so

More you worry about the past, more might be the chances of messing with your current and future life

'Self-doubt' and 'fear' are the two most annoying enemies, responsible for delaying things. Do not let them take over

Never leave a task unfinished, else it might become a habit going forward

High expectations result in loss of motivation sometimes. Do your best and leave the rest

Avoid staying in a comfort zone for a longer period, learning is a never-ending process

Different people have different interests and motives in life. It is wise not to judge everyone basis on your own interest

All praise and no criticism hampers the scope of improvement

Avoid grabbing your phone first thing in the morning as you wake up

Try everything in life and regret nothing

Stay connected

Nikita Kohli

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Father's Day

https://kohlinikita.blogspot.com/2020/06/fathers-day.html

Kaam se ghar aate he shaam ko,dekh ke khush hote hai saath poore pariwar ko, byaan karte nahi apni din bhar ki thakan kisi ko, bas koshish karte hai waqt barabar dene ki sabhi ko.

Bahut dur ki socha karte hai vo, jaldi se bhavnao mei bahaa nahi karte hai vo,lagta hai kai baar pathar ka ho dil jaise unka, par soch samajh ke he nirnaya liya karte hai vo.

Na kisi se tareef  ki umeed, na kisi ki karte hai vo jhooti prashansa, Ulajh te nahi hai kisi gapshap mein zyada, bas apne kaam se matlab rakhte hai sabse zyada.

Hazaro sawal chal rahe hote hai mann mei, pata lagne nahi dete es baat ka kisi ko,bahar se dikhate hai jaise kuch hua he na ho, magar rakhte hai hisaab har ek cheez ka vo.

Ghar ki har tooti cheez ki marammat karna, aisa he kuch shauk hota hai unka, Haar nahi maante hai tab tak, kar na de theek uss tooti cheez ko jab tak.

Zindagi unki bhi aasan nahi, rehte hai subah se shaam tak ghar ke bahar vo, Koshish rehti hai unki hamesha yehi, ki kami na ho kisi ko kisi cheez ki kahi.

Chahe mile na mile poora araam, karte hai kahi bar vo itna kaam, Aisa koi kaam jo kabhi kiya na ho pehle, gehrai se samajhte hai usko shuru karne se pehle.

Margdarshak hote hai vo pariwar ke, saath dete hai vo har ek mukaam pe, Bhatak jao agar kabhi apne raste se, saburi ke saath le aate hai vo sahi raste pe.

Chehre se lagte hai swabhaav ke sakht, magar hote hai dil ke sabse naram, Bolte hai thoda kam magar sochte hai sabse zyada, kuch aise he hote hai papa.

Stay connected

Nikita Kohli

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'Kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log'

https://kohlinikita.blogspot.com/2020/06/kyunki-ek-jaise-nahi-hote-hai-sab-log.html

Milenge kuch aise log tumko, jo shayad samajh na paye mann ki har baat. Galat mat samajhna kisi ko, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Kiya kisi ne thoda sa mazak, nahi achi lagi tumko unki ye baat. Es ek mazak ko kyu lena apne dil pe dost, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Kisi ko ata hai bahut kuch, har kisi ko nahi ata hai sab kuch.Parakhne mat lagna unko har roz, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Chaha tha tumne jaisa, kiya nahi tumhare kisi apne ne bilkul bhi waisa.'Kyu' rakhna mann mei kisi sandeh ka bojh, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Kisi ke paas hai zyada tou kisi ke paas kam. Jaisa dikh raha hai aj, kya pata na rahe waisa he kal. Badalta hai waqt bhi roz, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Suni Sunayi baaton par mat bana lena vichar sabhi ke bare mein, har kisi ki hoti hai apni ek soch. Galat vo bhi nahi jinki kabhi nahi badalti hai soch, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Gaur se sunna salah sabhi ki, karna apne mann ki.Har koi nahi,par kuch zarur samjhenge tumhare mann ke es faisle ka mol,kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Kisi ne kiya tumko yaad apni khushi mein, aur kisi ne kiya na kabhi yaad tumko. Kyu dena es baat pe kisi ko bhi dosh, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

Zindagi tabhi lagegi mazedar, jab milenge naye naye log har bar. Ho sakta hai kuch naya seekhne ko mile uss roz, kyunki ek jaise nahi hote hai sab log.

We get to meet and talk to different kinds of people, almost every day in our lives, it is not necessary that their frequency tends to match with ours every time. Experience the fun part of life, by interacting with all kinds of wonderful minds😊

Stay connected

Nikita Kohli

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Never waste a good crisis

https://kohlinikita.blogspot.com/2020/07/never-waste-good-crisis.html

Now or Never

Winston Churchill – "never waste a good crisis". To put it in more simple words I would say make most out of every situation. If we understand this, we might never find ourselves saying this future ‘Yaar time nahi mila’.

All of us have used this phrase at some point in our lives to justify why we were unable to do a task when it required our utmost attention. The usage of the phrase is quite common😊 Most of us, wish for a long vacation or a kind of lifestyle which could give us more time apart from our daily routine so we could do whatever we desire. But, when we come across such an opportunity where we get an ample amount of time, we generally take time to accept the fact that yes, we are finally getting leverage to spend our time in doing what we love doing.

When the lockdown situation arose due to COVID-19, I bet most of us had not thought it this way, that in a way we would be getting a golden opportunity to spend more time with family or extra time to finish our pending tasks. This is natural. As human beings, we all take some time to understand and adapt to the changes happening around us. Some more extra time and the kind of break, which all of us have been asking for secretly, is exactly what we got in the current crisis. Treat this as a long-lasting holiday, where you have an opportunity to leverage your time by spending more time doing things you are great at and most important things which you enjoy doing the most. A perfect time to discover your creative side. Consider the current time as a break given by nature itself for all us to slow down and step aside from our 'jam-packed' daily routine.

This is an advice for all of us, never assume that there is a theory which justifies a 'right time' or 'wrong time' to carry out any task. There is no right or wrong time to do anything. Every result or an outcome is straight away connected to the actions we carry out. You do the same thing every day and expect a different result each time, that won't work. It would only increase our perplexity. We sometimes genuinely experience a shortage of time in our daily routine, I agree to this, but let us try, not to use it as an excuse in long-run. When we admit that we don't have enough time, we are only fooling ourselves. Once we accept this as an excuse that we don’t get enough time to do things, trust me, even when we get ample time, we might end up delaying it because, our brain might accept it as a fact, that 'it is okay to delay things'.

A human brain is capable of generating such wonderful ideas. When we delay tasks at our end, it is not necessary that the same idea or thought which clicked to us earlier will strike again the next time we plan to do the same task. Never miss an opportunity and make the most out of every situation. We all have the ability to manage our time well and plan our days ahead. It is just a matter of understanding the gravity of the situation and realizing that if you truly wish to acquire something then shortage of time is just an excuse.

If I talk about the current situation of COVID-19 crisis, I believe this could have been the best time to finish our pending tasks or to do things which you like doing the most, whether it is spending time with the family, start a hobby, learn new things or just to have a break to detox your brain and do a bit of relaxation and do nothing. In short, make most out of every situation (never waste a good crisis). If not now, then when? We all must ask this question to ourselves irrespective of the current crisis situation. I agree that there are certain tasks, which require actions to be performed outdoors, as not everything is achievable by staying indoors. Here I would like to say that: there is always a planning part involved before we take action on any task or I would say homework is required before we start to execute a task. We could definitely utilize the current time well, to plan things in advance, so that once the current situation gets back to normal, we won’t be wasting time in the planning part. Make the best use of whatever you have in hand at the moment. Nobody can snatch away your own time except you yourself by giving away excuses in your mind. Nowadays we all are self-sufficient in terms of facilities available to us. We have the internet and we have phones. We have other basic amenities as well. It is just a matter of changing your mindset from ‘can’t do’ to ‘can do’. Try to look out for an opportunity in every crisis each time you face it. There is always something or other positive thing hidden even in the worst situation. As it is said, 'see good in everything', likewise, see an opportunity in every crisis and every situation. The limit exists only in our minds whether it is in terms of 'time' or 'capability'. Learning is a never-ending process.

Stay connected

Nikita Kohli

[the-nikita-kohli]

Find Your Why

https://kohlinikita.blogspot.com/2020/06/find-your-why.html

Your Why Is More Important Than Your What

People generally ask each other, what do you want to become in life? what do you want to achieve? what is your passion? What is going to be your next step forward? What have you been doing currently?

It is very rare that someone might ask you: -Why do you want to become so? Why do you want to achieve it? Why is this your passion? Why is this going to be your next step and so on?

As we move ahead in life, with each passing day, we experience that more than 'what' and 'how' ‘Your why needs clarity’.

Have you ever noticed that most of the time we all are very confident in answering the question of what do we want? Also, all of us are smart enough to figure out easily how do we want things to be done. And then after a few years or maybe at some point of time in life, we get stuck in the sense that we lose interest in what we have been doing. The first thing then, that comes to the mind is ‘why I wanted to do this in the first place’. Was it because my focus was just on earning money?

The answer to this is, a purpose or a long-term goal was missing. Now, that the hard-earned money is available with us but even then sometimes there is no more excitement left. That is because most of us, by mistake, consider our short-term goal as our long-term goal. Having a purpose and a long-term goal in life should define the main reason behind everything we plan to do.

question: Why do you want to work in a job or do business?

Our first instant reply might be ‘of course to earn money, what else?’ Oh yes, everybody wants to earn money. Who doesn’t want to! Have you ever asked yourself what would be your next step when you have a good amount of money in your bank account? The next step might be to buy a house or a car Etc. and have savings as well. What’s next? Yes, you will have all the money and things you desire in life. At some point in life, you might ask yourself, now what’s next? Some more money? more savings? Some more luxury? After a certain point in time, you might realize that the right answer to why you opted for a particular job or business is not ‘money’. Everybody knows how to earn money nowadays but very few know ‘what to do with that money in the long term’ or what is the real purpose or aim behind doing so. People generally lose interest or get stuck in the middle, if the purpose is not clear enough. Choose your line very carefully.

If you have clarity in mind regarding 'why a particular action interests you' and 'why is it as important to you as breathing, trust me, just to make a living would not be the only answer you would be left with.

Whatever you do in life, your 'why' is that one constant thing which will help you to move to the next step. You may get stuck after achieving 'what' you wished for, but your 'why' will help you to move to the next step. Your 'what' will give you the motivation but your 'why' will give you the inspiration and we all know that inspiration gives us long-lasting results compared to motivation. You will never need a fire to ignite your motivation if you have the inspiration and clarity of the purpose in life.

Be it any step you have to take in life, always think, 'why' you want to do it? Is it just because everyone is doing the same thing and you don’t want to be the left as the odd one out, or is it because people around you have told to do so. To know the best and the correct answer, you need to ask the question to yourself again and again that why is something so important for you.

We see that some people perform very well in their field but not everyone is on the same level. If money would have been the main reason, then why not everyone is on the same level and why only a few are continuously dedicated than the rest, this is because of the clarity of purpose one has.

If you have the clarity to your 'why', then:

· You would extract satisfaction in doing what you do

·  Mondays would never affect you as a stressful day at the beginning of the week

· You would have an enjoyable experience throughout, as it is being said, the journey is much more beautiful than the destination

· You would never run out of ideas if you are involved in the thing that interests you

· You would be open to innovation and have acceptance of any change.

If your why is strong enough to attract your attention towards learning something which interests you, then the execution part (how to do) won't feel like a burden.

In our everyday busy life, we lose our focus on 'why' and follow only on 'what'.

Do not let your decisions get influenced by others. Yes, of course, we all should keep our eyes and ears open to the bunch of advice we receive, but before jumping on to the conclusion, do analyze if its exactly you want to do.

One of my educators explained this to me as a student: ‘ If you learn a concept by heart, there might still be the 1% chance that you may forget it but if you understand a concept, you may never forget the same till the end’.

‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how’- Friedrich Nietzsche.

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Nikita Kohli