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I should disappear for a while

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The Onion continues to never miss

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i feel so left out. like everyone around me knows how to be a human and i don’t.

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We were watching the glass blowing competition show on netflix because it's really cool to see those talented artists do their thing...

But I will NEVER forgive the judges for eliminating an amazing artist who's concept was that plastic hamster tubes are actually dangerous for hamsters yet they are normalized in our society so they made a beautiful glass rendition of an endless loop of colorful hamster tubes as an expression of how we can be trapped by society in a loop of behavior that is normalized but actually killing us

And the judges were like "this isnt DEEP ENOUGH" because they dont care enough about hamsters to learn and interpret the artist's statement at the level it was meant for.

They literally saw the glass renditions of colorful tubes that represent suffering and being trapped in a glossy predesigned hell and went "this is too normal and isnt saying anything important actually" Fuck them!!!!

Anyways Gemma should have won and I'm so happy to see that she didn't let it stop her amazing concept and she continued with it outside of the time constraints of the show. Fuck yes Gemma

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The thing about parrots is that they will fuck with you for fun. On the outside a parrot is a small flying dinosaur with bolt cutters on its face. On the inside a parrot is a toddler with a GED who you might have unwisely trapped in your house. Humans are usually the most entertaining thing in a parrot's environment (aside from other parrots).

My parrot knows all the words for his favorite foods: peanut, berry, carrot, and noodle are the most frequently requested. I often demonstrate how good he is at naming foods when I have guests over by saying, "Ripley, what is this?" And Ripley, seeing a roasted, unsalted peanut in my hand, will answer, "a peanut." He does this for many foods, multiple times a day, knowing that if he answers correctly I'll give him several of whatever he can name.

I also offer my houseguests a chance to participate, holding a treat about a foot away from Ripley and asking him what it is. Ripley is always very gentle when treats are involved. But for the past few months, when someone he doesn't know attempts this trick with him, he deliberately gets the answer wrong.

"What is this?" my friend asks Ripley as she holds out a peanut. He confidently answers, "a berry." We laugh. "No, what is it!" she tries again. "A berry." She laughs.

I hand her dried cranberry. "What's this?" she asks, holding it up. Without hesitation Ripley answers "a peanut." She holds up the peanut again. "What is it!!" "A berry," he answers. Both my friend and my parrot laugh. Apparently this joke is worth more to my bird than getting the treat.

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listen it’s nice that the crewniverse went all “it’ll never be said in-show but peridot is the show’s aroace rep!!!!!!!” but FUCK does it feel utterly meaningless. like, “dumbledore is gay” level of tokenism. it’s not the first time it was said that peridot is aspec. they had TONS of time to try and figure out how to slip it into the show. just one word. i mean it’s STEVEN UNIVERSE. this show is ALL OUT with the lgbt+ rep… except with aspec people apparently? our representation is just a production footnote? and how fucking HORRIBLE is it that the crew person who let us know about peri’s identity is aspec themself? imagine working on this show, doing storyboards, pouring your heart into a character that’s supposed to share your identity, to be your rep - and see it never get to be said?

i’m just… su, i really do love you, but you fucking let us aspecs down.

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i like watching jerma because he could be playing a fucked up video on stream of a 3d model human blowing up into flesh and gore but then pause twice before being like "why are his shoes white. does anyone wear white shoes? i've never seen white shoes" and then the whole chat is like "you stupid bitch everyone owns white shoes"

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my friend Omar is still desperately in need of funds. he is living in a tent, often going entire day without eating and his mental health and suicidal ideation have been awful as conditions worsen. the prospect of escaping seems far off and now it is simply trying to afford food to last day to day. he has endured so much loss of his friends and teammates (he played football before the destruction and displacement) Omar is a selfless, community minded man, and a radiant presence in this world, struggling with depression and being crushed by this brutal occupation.

please help him out; he is on insta and appreciates anyone sharing his posts or kind words. he speaks often of how much people ignore you if you are Black and Palestinian. please don't ignore this and consider skipping one small thing in your day to day, anything, and directing that to this campaign instead.

his campaign is also verified by the butterfly effect project mutual aid collective on line 1044

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not having the courtesy to send rejection letters should count against your reputation as a company and i’m so serious about that

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'mobsters' are part of a 'mob'. and so you'd think 'lobsters' would be part of a 'lob', but ohohohhohoho, life just isn't so simple

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Someone sent this to me so I thought it’d be appropriate to share

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Anyone who is committed to solidarity with disabled, chronically ill, and traumatized people:

Fadel ( @fadel-dani ) is in his early 20s. He's chronically ill with thalassemia, a blood disorder. The price of the medicine is too high to afford, and struggles with fainting.

He and his family have been displaced multiple times in the genocide. When his family returned to their home, bombs were dropped on them, destroying his childhood home.

Fadel woke up in a hospital and learned that, while unconscious, he had undergone surgery to remove metal shrapnel that had become lodged in his body in the bombing. Because of the extreme danger and the collapse of the health system, some of the pieces could not removed at their location.

The doctor assessed his health and told his family that he needs to receive treatment in another country as soon as possible. Obviously, doing so safely requires coordination and funds for both travel and the surgical fees once they get to a hospital. He has been living in a tent and trying to raise funds since then.

His campaign is vetted by: @gazavetters list (#197) and @90-ghost and @a-shade-of-blue

After fundraising for over 300 days, he had raised €14,500 (almost 50% of the €30,000 he needs). Then April 25, GoFundMe deleted his fundraiser with no warning or clear explanation. He contacted GoFundMe's technical support, but they ignored him and didn't respond.

He has had to restart all over again with a new fundraiser. So far only €3,522 donations have come in, a mere 12% of what he needs.

(All donations were returned to their donors, so if you previously donated, please return that money to him!)

He is still suffering the physical and psychological pain of feeling shrapnel from the Israeli bombing that destroyed his childhood home embedded in his body.

He is badly injured from a bombing, leaving him with fragments of metal in his body. He is in need of urgent surgery to remove them. He struggles with constant pain from this.

He has PTSD from repeated severe trauma, including the bombing of his childhood home while he was inside which left him with the fragments in his body. There is bombing around him, and he fears for his life constantly.

He is starving. Genocidal famine is being forced on him, his family, and many other families in Gaza.

If you have ever reblogged anything about chronic illness, disability, inaccessibility of healthcare, trauma, or food insecurity, recognize your commonality and solidarity with him.

Please donate anything you can.

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Now joy is spreading among the Palestinian people and everyone is happy about this. A prisoner exchange deal will be announced and the war will stop.

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I went to a museum with this former carpenter, and as a way of flirting I kept pointing to victorian-era furniture and saying "oooh what wood is that ^_^?" to which he would reply, with increasing exasperation, "I don't know." this continued for like half an hour and he got very close to snapping.

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time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

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Mauro C. Martinez (American, 1986) - Trust (2022)