the-party-ambulance-blog - Tumblr blog

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

i still think we shoulda turned him into a microscope

Yes, that could have been put to some usefulness. Some bots I knew back in the day served as microscopes, mass spectrometers, data pads, heaters and other appliances. Unfortunately many of them also served as the perfect spies for the more corrupt members of the Council; they were already integrated into our homes and were taken for granted.

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well now his size fits the size of his self esteem lmao

Ohh, I doubt that; if Knockout’s frame matched the size of his self-esteem and his pride, he could be the new Cybertron! Perhaps this will bring him down several thousand notches.

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

uoi should see your partner knockout right now. he's as small as a minicon! we may have turned him into a fortwo. he's throwing a fit about it actually.

Ugh, naturally you would prey on Knockout’s self-esteem! I doubt I would be much help to him, however; he’d only be more humiliated that I had to see him this way. He’d much rather solve the problem on his own.

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Heya Ratch! I got you something! It's a Seeker book full of Vosnian phrases, greetings, wing speak, you name it! Figured it'd help in some learning. *In actuality it's a Vosnian book full of how to say curses, insults, and give rude gestures in the language and with their wings.*

The medic eyes it suspiciously, picking it up with two fingers and setting it aside. “Thank you so very much, Anonymous, but do you honestly think I wouldn’t recognize certain crude Vosnian syntax after studying the resources Starscream traded to me? And there were quite a few Autobot flyers, Autobots with doorwings...I’m absolutely not a stranger to wing-speak.

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

so are the rest of the team helping with the Seekers or have you been reduced to baby sitting duties?

I haven’t been reduced to anything; I volunteered. While I do regret it on the Seekers’ worse days, it does provide me with valuable data on their growth. What else do I have to work on at the moment? I’m not a Constructicon.

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

well i tried calling starscream dad but he wasn't having it. i was gonna call you mom but since i got shot down by screamer and since you use male pronouns, dad it is.

I don’t particularly think I’m “having it” either, Anon. I’m sure that I’ve had this conversation with other anons before: the one about calling me anything other than my name. It was an uncomfortable experience for all of us. Just call me by my name.

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

im not sure howi feel about ratchet being purple

Huh. As far as I can tell, I’m the same amber I always have been, Anonymous! Have you tried paying a visit to an optician recently or were you not paying attention?

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

Ratchet hitting is wrong. Ya should have just used them as canon fodder. Oh also a certain someone has returned as seems a Might grumpy. How are the pets by the way?

Psh, it’s not as if I ever had the time or the resources for such an expansive use of the cannons! Best to deal with them with a brief, preventative measure that can easily be performed by others if I’m busy -- provided they have a good swing. 

Search and Rescue are fine, thank you. Search usually spends his days hiding in the cabinets he can reach and his nights burrowing into my hubcaps as a source of warmth. Rescue is content to stay on the ground near her bed or guarding the resources Search shouldn’t be allowed to access. It’s surprisingly effective!

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

hey dad, i went to the aquarium with some friends and got some pictures and a plushie for you. it's was the biggest one they had, and the most expensive, hope ya like it! *holds up a giant stingray plush thats 2x as big as the anon along with pictures of all the tanks*

Fascinating...Thank you, anon. However, I think the more...interesting factor here is that I have absolutely no idea why you’re referring to me as your sire!

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do you know about alternate universes, ratchet? would you believe me when i tell you there is one where the autobots are the evil ones and the decepticons are the good guys? and that the autobots in that universe are even worse than the decepticons in yours? your evil alternate likes to mutilate and change people's frames, like removing their hands and giving them saw blades instead, calling them upgrades. optimus uses him as a punishment for his troops that get wounded in battle.

And is that such a poor way to live his life…?

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

Ratch! I'm glad to see you're back, was a little worried ^^; I hope school didn't completely beat you up. I'd have to go do something about that if it did :I

There was no need for concern; I just have other priorities. Besides, the anons do eventually need to learn how to function without my supervision!

((Mun here! Actually school has totally been beating me up XD I’m just clinging to the last hours of the weekend I have before a class final on Monday! But I appreciate the concern, haha

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

You seem to have experience with that type of Autobot

Yes, unfortunately. There were quite a few injuries I was forced to treat which resulted from friendly fire. Some injuries belonged to colleagues, friends -- people I cared about. Once I brought it to Optimus’ attention, he did his best to discipline the Bots responsible, but it never quite stuck. Optimus couldn’t supervise them all the time. 

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We all remember the times Ratchet was left unsupervised...

Lead Pipe vs Animated Machinery

Synth-en

Synth-en again

Rebuilt Omega Lock

But my first thought was Knockout and Starscream anyway :D @tyrantofthefirmament @ask-dr-knockout

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too be fair, i've seen angry and less than honorable autobots who'd kill decepticons or decepticon sympathizers without a 2nd thought.

Note that I did make a distinction between honorable Autobots and those who are not. There have certainly been those in our ranks who joined our side because they merely wanted to extend their lives long enough to cause more pain and chaos. Among the Decepticons, there’s a chance they would be killed for inciting dissension. Among the Autobots, we have higher standards but lower punishments.

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Hey I warned Starscream of thing during the summer so I figured I should warn you too. I've heard that there are some grounders around that have some heavy vendettas against fliers. They're traveling around in space and capturing fliers and tearing off wings and shoving them in tiny spaces to offline. Since the seekerlets are traveling further on their own now I figured I'd tell you too. They might be autobots since most decepticons were fliers and I don't see neutrals attacking people.

Oh, my... I’ve experienced framism myself in my time, but that goes to an extreme that...Hph, I can’t even begin to consider the idea that any honorable Autobots would allow such a thing, much less do it themselves! As for neutrals, it’s not as if they were all innocent, confused, unassuming bots who didn’t know which side to choose. Some of them were dangerous radicals who would gladly capture soldiers from both sides and torture them for bringing war upon our planet.

Nevertheless...thank you for informing me. I’ll be sure to let the young Seekers know.

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hey old timer where have you been?

Busy with very important work, as usual. I’ve been restoring and compiling a chronology of the war, hoping to piece together some of the accounts of bots who are missing or presumed dead. It’s something of a memorial to them, if you will, and it will educate the Seekers. It’s also extremely time-consuming.

[the-party-ambulance-blog]

There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one.

Kazuo Ishiguro (via oneshallstand)