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[the-pregnancy-experience]

There is no evidence that a c-section will affect the bond you have with your baby. There is also no real evidence that c-section would delay your milk supply, i.e. even mothers who have vaginal births can have a significant delay or issue with supply. “Latch” is unlikely to be affected by mode of birth as that refers to how your baby is putting their mouth onto the nipple.

Emergency c-sections can be traumatic and exhausting for some women, which then could potentially affect their bond with the baby (there are some people who have issues with PPD as a result of a traumatic birth experience). BUT THE SAME CAN ALSO BE TRUE OF VAGINAL BIRTHS - there are also many women who have experienced birth trauma from vaginal births. Having a vaginal birth doesn’t save you from negative birth experiences, PPD, trouble bonding or trouble breastfeeding, etc.

There are many, many positives about planned c-sections - knowing what is happening in advance and being able to prepare for it can go a long way to preventing birth trauma. You can make a plan in advance for how you’ll deal with the healing period, both emotionally and practically. A lot of women who have scheduled c-sections find the experience to be overall positive.

As far as long term health outcomes - just no. There is some research that going through the birth canal can pass on some of the mother’s micro biome and reduce the risk of things like asthma and obesity. But the difference is very small, and hard to apply on an individual level because your particular baby’s risk of a certain thing like asthma (based on genetics, environment, etc) is going to be the main factor in influencing health outcomes anyway.

I suggest you do some research on “elective” or “planned c-sections” (just be sure to differentiate between planned and emergency, as they are very different experiences and data on their outcomes are also very different). Your friends don’t know what the hell they are talking about.

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

I second this! I did not BF so I can’t speak on that but I’m also 5 weeks PP, I had a planned c section and my baby is attached to my hip lol. Did not effect our ability to bond at all and my body was determined to heal.

OP- I absolutely loved my c section experience, and like me because yours is planned you have time to prepare and know exactly what you’re in for!

Make sure you walk around as much as possible! My MBU let us walk around the floor with baby in the rolling bassinet so I could get used to walking. And health concerns from a c section would only likely come in to play if your baby is breech- but even then still nothing long term. My son was breech and they said due to that he needs a hip ultrasound at 3 months to make sure he doesn’t have hip dysphasia, which is something they’d likely give him a brace for until they feel it’s resolved, but they told me there’s a good chance he might not even have hip dysphasia, it’s just a precaution.

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

Had an emergency section via spinal block after an epidural.

Epidural, the worst part was numbing the area... After that you don't feel anything (although my back was bruised and sore as it took several attempts to place both the epidural and the spinal block, so watch out incase they try a few times)

Baby was taken out at 23:56 and by noon then next day I was up and moving (after catheter removal and within reason, didn't push too much)... Recovery depends on the person.... I've been on the go since I was released from hospital (less than 48hrs after the section) and 5.5w post partum. Had visitors 2.5w after baby and walked all around the village and went out for dinner and at the weekend just passed was chasing around my neice and nephew and jumping up for swinging them etc. I've had no pain, only had an issue with an infection however another mum in my recovery ward needed morphine the day after her section for her pain.

Bonding comes from things like skin to skin and talking and cuddling.... You will have plenty of opportunity to bond don't worry!!! I also believe the removal of the placenta will trigger the hormones used in bonding regardless as they also trigger milk production etc :)

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

I had a c section 4 years ago and honestly, it was a breeze. I healed super fast and didn’t even need the pain pills they prescribed. You can hardly see my scar. There’s still some nerves that need to be healed so there’s some numbness still but overall, it was very easy. He was out in less than 30 minutes.

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

Fears around birth are rarely irrational — planned c-sections have way easier recoveries than emergency ones. For this story, you have to know that I have almost zero pain tolerance and am in general a huge wuss who had never had surgery before.

Because planned c-sections are relatively “chill”, you can ask for a lot — like skin to skin in the OR while they’re finishing up their last checks. In the post-op room, we did breastfeeding which was successful (baby was big so we did frequent blood sugar checks). We had an extended golden hour — two hours in the PACU where the room was dark, we were a family of three and no one could bother us.

They take your catheter out to prevent UTIs (not unlike an epidural with a vaginal delivery) as soon as possible so you’ll be up and walking — tending to baby and changing diapers if you so choose. My daughter was delivered at noon and I was up and walking before dinner.

My daughter was well over 10lbs and 22in, but was breech. My recovery was no longer than my sister who had a 10lb baby vaginally. When vaginal deliveries are textbook, they are absolutely easier than major abdominal surgery — but for 2nd degree tears and days of labor with an induction, you’re moving just as slow.

My first c-section was 3 years ago and I’m gearing up for another one in 15 weeks rather than attempting a VBAC. My scar is still visible but you have to REALLY be looking and is about 5” long (I’m still not sure how the physics of that work with how big she was).

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

I had a C-section 8 weeks ago. I had no problem bonding with my son. We did skin to skin once I was in recovery. We were able to start breastfeeding once I was taken to my hospital room, which was maybe a couple hours after surgery. The spinal was easy and only stung right when they numbed the area. I had the C-section at 2pm and was up and walking the next morning. I alternated Tylenol and ibuprofen in the hospital and didn't take anything for pain once I got home.

The recovery has honestly been way easier than I expected. My son was 8 lbs 13 oz and I was up and walking around with him while I was in the hospital. Getting around the house was fine, but we live in a ranch so I didn't have to worry about stairs. It was a little difficult to get up and sit down/lay down, but if you go slow then you'll be fine. I highly recommend a belly band because it helps the feeling of Jell-O belly, if that makes sense!

Like I said, I'm 8 weeks PP and feel pretty much back to normal! I actually felt pretty good after 3 weeks but was still careful about lifting anything. The area around my incision still feels a little numb but it's nothing unbearable. The scar is maybe 7" across and it is really low. I can't speak to how it will look when healed completely, but so far it's not bad.

It is a major surgery, but I will 100% ask for one again next time I'm pregnant. I am very happy with the whole experience.

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

Graduation on 38weeks, emergency C-section!

Hi everyone! I rarely comment or post in this sub, but I would like to share my graduation story!

Currently I am 2 weeks postpartum, I had emergency C-section at 38 weeks.

I started having contractions at 36 weeks, however it was not increasing in intensity and only happened a few hours a day. I chalked it up to Braxton-Hicks. My last OB appointment was at 37 weeks and everything looks OK, baby descend nicely, my blood pressure is good, CTG is good, so the OB and I planned for vaginal birth (I had vaginal birth with my first, so I expected this one will be uncomplicated vaginal birth too). Since the contractions never progressed, I didn’t go back to the OB, rather I planned to wait for our 39 weeks appointment.

During this time I still worked, and I was trying to finish some projects before my maternity leave. It was fairly stressful time, because the work was unrelenting, it kept coming on top of the other work, and I was sleeping badly from the general discomfort and pregnancy and working.

then one night my water broke. I didn’t have a particularly strong contraction but it just broke when I sat down in bed. Fortunately I have prepared a hospital bag (Thank you for the advices and suggestions regarding hospital bag!) and we were rushed to the hospital.

Once there, the midwife check my vital and apparently my blood pressure is super high, like 200/120. I am a sufferer of chronic hypertension, but it was controlled with meds, so I was surprised. There was concern of seizure, so I was immediately hooked to an IV to stabilize my BP. The midwife checked for dilation, and I only 1 cm dilated. They also did CTG to track the baby heartbeat, and while the midwife looks calm, I heard her called my OB and reporting that the heartbeat is weak. It was decided that i will have C-section first thing in the morning (it was 3 AM).

The C-section itself is okay I guess, they pump me with drugs so while I was awake, I felt like it was drunk awake if that makes sense. They also remove a rather large fibroid while I was there, so it was good. Husband get to see my organs though, because they asked him to come inside the OR for next of kin consent to remove the fibroid.

Afterwards the OB show me the pic of the umbilical cord, turned out the umbilical cord was knotted, so the baby had somewhat decreased oxygen intake for some time, that was the suspected reason of decreased heart rate. The OB said had my water was not broken that night and I kept waiting for contractions, chances were the baby will die inside and I will given birth to a stillborn baby. It was very scary, and I thank God or whatever force that is for the chain of events that saw my baby safe to the earthside.

The recovery is awful for the first 3 days, but afterwards it was somewhat manageable. I still have pains inside, but my incision is heals nicely. Surprisingly considering the situation I do not experienced trauma. I mean, if I get to choose, I wouldn’t chose to have emergency C-section, but I am just happy that baby and I are okay and healthy.

baby is small, only 2,4 kgs, but otherwise healthy. There is some concern of long term effect of lack of oxygen inside the womb (because nobody know how long the knot was there), but so far the assessment showed no problem.

so, that’s my graduation story! If there any advice that I can give, is to take it easy in the last weeks to due date and do not stress too much about work (because it will NEVER ends!). If you have a condition, best to monitor it in daily basis. And pay attention to fetal movements! the day my water broke I did notice decrease in movement, but didn’t pay much attention to it because I was focusing on work.

I hope all of you who still in the pregnancy journey have a nice and smooth graduation, and everyone and their bubs to be healthy and safe!

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

I'm also 31 weeks and the thought of sex makes me recoil as well. So much discomfort and pelvic pain, I shudder just thinking about it. I've always had a higher libido than my husband and he isn't bothered that we're not having sex now, which I'm very thankful for.

There are other ways to connect physically than just sex (not to mention emotionally and mentally). A massage, showering together, or even just making out. My husband and I still share a lot of skin to skin contact, which helps a lot. Only you two can know what connects you as a couple other than sex, so it might be worth investing in those things for now.

Fingers crossed our libido comes back after baby is born haha

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

I'm a little nervous to post this as I don't want any hate towards my husband. I found out we were pregnant in November, we have not had sex since the trying stage in that month. My husband has a lot of feels about sex while pregnant. We discuss it all the time! He knows i would love to try and have sex, but he has made it clear that he loves me, is attracted to me, but has a list of concerns and won't.

I'm not worried about what this will do to us after baby is born, if anything I can't wait to jump him as soon as I'm ready too!

Some backstory: hubby and I have been together 7 years, I've always had more of a libido than him and I've always known how he feels about this particular subject.

He knows I miss connecting with him Sexually, but that doesn't stop us from date nights, laughing till it hurts together and just over all emotionally connecting together. We've both stated we've never gone this long without sex, we're both eager for when we are both ready again. I'm not scared of losing a sexual connection with him, I do forsee him having more of a libido in the future though.

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Graduation! 39 weeks! Positive story overall but some trigger warning for traumatic birth

FTM here. Gave birth to a beautiful baby boy yesterday morning at exactly 39 weeks! The feeling of him coming out and being placed in my arms and seeing him for the first time...mind blowing. Nothing will ever compare to the emotion and the joy.

That being said, had quite a few challenges at the end and having now had a day to process the birth am feeling a little overwhelmed...

I was in early labour starting around 38 weeks when they found I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. Had contractions off an on from 38 weeks and at my 39 week appointment I was 4cm dilated, and they did a membrane sweep (it was totally fine and to me didn’t feel much more than a regular cervical check). Literally within an hour I was contracting more regularly and strongly. About 4 hours after the exam, my contractions were full blown 5-1-1. Called the hospital and they said to come in...they said for a first time mum it was crazy to be coming in at 4cm already. Progress when I got there was slow though, but my BP was high and by the time they did all the checks to rule out pe, I had finally moved to 5cm so they admit me. This was around 7pm. By 10pm, they broke my water, and then gave me a tiny dose of pitocin to help get the contractions a little more regular. I was totally fine with this approach, they explained everything well and made sure I was very informed. By maybe 3am I was 8cm and fully effaced. Now, I had been planning on having no epidural but was experiencing heavy back labour (the absolute worst) so I got the epidural which was wonderful, didn’t hurt a bit, and completely worth it...for a time. Then it gets dicey. Around 5am, epidural is wearing off and no matter what they do they can’t get it to work again. The contractions are intense and there are no words to describe how they felt/the pain in my back and pelvis. It was excruciating and I felt like I left my body. I made noises I never knew I could make.

My husband kept asking for someone to come and check my cervix; I was in so much pain and there was tons and tons of pressure. Finally, the nurse checked it at around 7:00am and I was a ten. She then rushed to get the Drs because baby was right there. Drs didn’t come until around 7:45, at which time I was just needing to get the baby out. They said I could start pushing, and left the room. I do one push around 8am and the baby is crowning so the nurses go rushing out to get the Drs back in. 2.5 pushes later and he’s out at 8:24am. Everyone is astounded as this is not typical for a first time mum (they told me I would be pushing for about 2hrs). I get about 10mins of skin to skin before the tell me I experienced a 4th degree tear and need to go to the OR ASAP to have it fixed. I was completely in a haze. My husband is worried and they are trying to explain to me the severity of the tear. After an hour in the OR they tell me luckily for some crazy reason the muscle didn’t tear, so as far as 4th degree tears go, this was the “best case scenario.” But tears can have long-term effects and the recovery for a 4th degree tear is intense. The implications for any future births are also important. They told me it would fully heal and I could do a vaginal birth again if I wanted to, but that most women do elect for a c-section. Honestly, I am so scarred by the experience I’m not sure I would ever feel comfortable doing a vaginal birth again.

I’m still in the hospital just beginning to grasp and process everything that happened. The best and most important thing is that baby is absolutely beautiful and healthy and I can’t stop staring at him. We just love him like nothing else. But, I’ve started to process the birth and realizing how traumatic it was. I barely had a chance to ask questions about the tear and I fully believe that if they had come in earlier and I had started pushing earlier I could have avoided tearing so badly. There was just too much pressure built up so of course when he came out it was like a balloon popping! So while I am grateful I was at an amazing hospital with highly specialized and skilled doctors who could properly fix the tear, I’m a bit distressed and unhappy with how I got here in the first place. I also lost so much blood that I needed to have a blood transfusion. Overall, it has been a pretty scary time. Thank god I have my baby who makes it all so much better :)

I am so proud of myself and what I went through to have my son. I would do it all again for him in a heartbeat. He is the most amazing, magical thing in the whole world.

P.S. Apologies for the length...and if anyone has experience/advice with this level of tear I would be so appreciative to hear it!

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[the-pregnancy-experience]

I only ate when hungry. I didn't have many cravings. When I did, i had 1 serving. Just walked a lot. Got plenty of sleep. 8-10 hours per night. I probably drank my weight in water every single day. Took vitamins. Honestly, though. My biggest splurge was taking care of my mental health. I saw my psychiatrist every single week. I didnt miss any sessions which was very important in order for me to look after myself. My pregnancy hormones would sometimes make me sad or depressed and my therapy helped me stay focused on me and my baby.

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I just had a baby 90 days ago. For me, everything went back to normal but it took until now. I had a little extra skin for a bit but it went back, the 19 pounds I gained fell off, but that took 60 days. All my extra beautiful pregnancy hair fell out so it's back to what it was. And my lady bits are tighter now than before. It's just how I healed. That part wasn't fun because I couldnt accommodate my husband until recently. If you take exceptional care of your body during pregnancy, my experience is that it goes back. But be kind to yourself. You're going through so much.

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I didn’t have a great body to begin with so that hasn’t been my issue. However I seriously underestimated the toll late pregnancy takes on your body. I’m 33 and this is my first. Starting at 20 weeks I started getting Symphisis pubis dysfunction pain. Look it up. It’s so fun. I can’t even take my pants on/off, lift my leg to get into the shower or rollover in bed without excruciating pain. Then last week I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I’m struggling more with this than the SPD tbh. I hate having to count every morsel of food that goes in my mouth and test 4x a day. I have bad anxiety over planning what to eat and it not keeping me full long enough. My entire day revolves around what I’m going to eat and none of it is what I want to be eating at 31 weeks pregnant. I have to be careful because the diabetes already has my son measuring a month ahead in growth. His stomach alone is in the 99th percentile. Oh also I don’t feel like I’m peeing myself but I constantly smell like pee. Idk if it’s my nose being more sensitive but I smell like a nursing home no matter how much I scrub down there and wear panty liners.

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I probably had it close to as good as you can have it during/after pregnancy. Only gained 22 lb, lost it all by a month pp. No stretch marks. Had a ‘standard’ second degree tear that presumably healed well. It still took 9 months for sex to stop hurting. After weaning, my boobs were deflated and smaller than before. Even though I weighed ~5 lb less than pre pregnancy at a year, I still had a bigger belly than before. I’m pregnant again so it’s hard to say how things will shake out in the longer term, but even as someone who objectively ‘bounced back’ pretty well, my body was not the same.

Maybe find some threads on post partum bodies for him to read. There’s tons of women discussing long term and permanent changes out there. My husband is the problem solver mentality too, but has had a bunch of surgeries himself so he has a pretty good idea of what medical events can mean. But I could also see him being more solution oriented and not super sympathetic otherwise.

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Not OP, but I’m trans masculine and had a pregnancy, birth, now 15 month old child.

It can cause dysphoria for some but not others. Personally it was the time of my life my dysphoria was lowest, but that may have been because my pregnancy coincided with the shelter in place order at the beginning of the pandemic. Being in public less/never meant I wasn’t misgendered as much, so less dysphoria for me. I also lactated for 10 months and have less chest dysphoria now than ever before in my life, even months after drying up. Can’t fully explain it, although I have a couple hypotheses.

For trans men who do get pregnancy dysphoria, it can be really rough. But usually, these are dads who chose to become pregnant knowing the dysphoria risk, because their baby is worth the temporary suffering. In an imperfect analogy, I had HG and a miserable pregnancy, but I’d still do it again because I want another kid.

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Yes it definitely does. I find I have a different perspective than most - I believe the reason I was born trans was so that I can carry a child for my male partner and I. It can be so hard for gay men to start a family. Because of this I’ve been pretty fascinated with what my body can do and it helps with dysphoria a lot.

The hardest thing for me is my chest. I paid a lot of money to have top surgery (a double mastectomy) and my chest was super flat before pregnancy. Because for chest masculinization they leave breast tissue, that tissue has swollen and my chest has more of a “man boob” vibe to it now. That is difficult for me.

I am also have a lot of “bottom dysphoria” and have had a medically complex pregnancy so having a ton of people look at, and have to go inside my vagina and do cervical checks is super uncomfy for me. Manageable - but uncomfy.

Most men/nonbinary people I see with a lot of gender dysphoria during pregnancy either haven’t had top surgery yet, or don’t “pass” as male (a problematic concept but a useful term for this purpose). If people assume you are a woman during your whole pregnancy and use she/her pronouns when they don’t fit you - that can cause a ton of dysphoria. I have a lot of privilege that even at 38+2 I am read as a man (I’m assuming with a huge beer belly) and still gendered correctly in public.

Another big point is that I am in a progressive part of Canada, and my midwife team, the teacher of my birthing class, and my doula have all worked very hard to be inclusive. Even going as far as to change the pronouns and language in resources for me (I use he/him and will be dada once baby is born). This has made a huge difference in my mental health.

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I’ve been using the Ovia pregnancy app to track vitamins, dr appointments, weight and just get general weekly updates. I can’t handle all the “go mama” bs and this one doesn’t seem to have that. There definitely are more references to women but it’s not over the top. Seems to just have a more medical, science vibe rather than flowery.

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