the-scattered-kingdoms

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I NEED to pinch the tip of someone's nose with my grasping raptorial forelegs right this instant

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so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

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AHHHHHHHHH SHES HEREEEEEE

CUNTY DROW NECROMANCERRRRRR

CUNTY DROW NECROMANCERRRRRRRRR

THANK U ADVENTURE BRICKSSSSSS

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youtube video: can i survive a week in the dark cave with only 5$

the thumbnail: handing 1$ to a centipede

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Act 2 sneak peak:

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I just really like minifigures and d&d a lot okay

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I’m doing a little side project!

I have a bunch of LEGO minifigures I’ve made for D&D. Rather than let them collect dust, I figured I’d take some pictures of them and put them back on my shelf to collect dust. I’ll be posting them on this blog under their own tag, #minifigparty, with stats and backstories of their own.

Anyway I’m excited, I took all the pictures in like 15 minutes and I’m mostly happy with them. See you soon!

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Going to start describing successful enemy attacks like this.

this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

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some items our protagonists started out with!

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THE BIG BOY

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fanart of my fav musician

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"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

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Hey I realize we have a lot of people traveling with us now. Here’s a breakdown of our party:

PCs—

- Zoph the Unbreakable, Ironclad Beetle Paladin

- Antony Hopkins, Cricket Bard

- Branch, Mantid Monk

- Beorn the Humble, Bee Barbarian

Companions—

- Pulga the Flea

- Sh’vaar the Black Hammer

- Yama the Relentless

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Session 3 gave the party a lot to chew on today—well, at least Branch. I’m sad to say it, but we nerfed her bug-devouring feat to be a limited thing each day (CON+Proficiency Bonus=3 times per rest). In the name of Balance, may she smile upon this campaign. Speaking of which…

Branch ate the feral Mantid the party defeated at the end of the last session. It tasted…off. After some Perception and Survival checks, she deduced that the Mantid was from a city, and had been wandering the wilderness for days. City bugs don’t tend to go feral—Branch reached out to her ex Thorn (a Bard, “She’s in a band,” according to @lolyeahokaywhatever) via sending and learned that some poisons can cause bugs to go feral.

The party then traveled onward, into the Grassblade Forest. After a successful skill challenge, the party came across a group of Red Teeth about to execute a Stag Beetle. Beorn jumped into action and the party enjoyed a surprise round. The fight netted our protagonists our first +1 weapon, the Mapleseed Blade (a scimitar that gives you an extra attack once per day), and a new ally for the coming battle: Yama the Relentless. He was out looking to join the Red Teeth, but was ambushed by them instead. Now he wants revenge. He was particularly impressed by Branch’s appetite.

The party got a long rest, then set out for the encampment once more. After an uneventful day of travel, they arrived outside Red Tusk and his soldiers’ campsite. Tony disguised himself and spoke with one of the camp prisoners, a Black Ant named Kuro. He told Tony to head a north to find “a relic of the Giants.” With a 23 on his History check, Tony recognized this relic as a Ghost Chariot, and remembered an old saying attributed to the giants: “Sometimes you must take a few steps backwards, before going forwards.” Us Giants would recognize this relic to be a little wind-up cop car toy. Enlisting the help of Zoph, Tony got the Chariot running, winding up its wheels with the Beetleguard’s strength and activating its ancient banshee wailing with his newfound ability to cast Shocking Grasp.

Originally the party planned to stay in disguise, handing in Beorn, Zoph, and Sh’vaar as prisoners. But, as Tony’s player said later, I had given the party a missile. Plus, we had to wind up our session quickly. So, they sent the thing crashing through the tent belonging to Pulga’s former commander and into Red Tusk’s own. Several Red Teeth broke rank, terrified by the Giants’ magic and the devastation it caused. Red Tusk was another story. Then session ended with the grizzled bandit leader storming out of his tent. I don’t know about you, but I think the next session is gonna be mostly combat.

Thanks for reading! Thanks to the party for playing!

—the Entomologist

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branch whenever she eats a venomous species

i love poison omelette

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this ugly son of a bitch deals 1d4+2 piercing damage and basically you’re just fucking stupid