the-smartass-under-the-mountain

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Count reprints, later editions of the same book, etc. If you have a copy that includes multiple books in one volume, you can count that, but do not count sequels/etc on their own. You can count ebooks and audiobooks if you possess the files in a permanent way (borrowed and streamed don't count).

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[the-smartass-under-the-mountain]

According to Know Your Meme, on August 18th, 2005, Erwin Beekveld brought forth this work into the world. HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY, THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD.

[the-smartass-under-the-mountain]

I love using þ

Þ is my friend

Þ is family

Reblog if you love þ

[the-smartass-under-the-mountain]

Éowyn has trouble settling into Gondorian high society after the War. After she picks up the wrong fork for the tenth time (all the grey heads swivel towards her, and Faramir whispers, ‘from the outside in!’), she gives up. She sits down at the next feast, and when the roast is served, she takes a deep breath. They wanted a barbarian? I’ll give them a barbarian, she thinks. 

Sweeping the table setting away, she draws a dagger from a sheath at her hip and plunges it into the shoulder of pork.

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Every line in this video is iconic

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sometimes i need to remind myself that i'm writing fanfiction for free and i'm allowed to have a shitty sentence or two

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Fibre crafts are 50% soothing repetitive action and 50% "God Fucking Damnit"

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Previous polls have already established that a lot of tumblr users don't want children. This poll asks why.

"body is theoretically capable of bearing children" = you have the body parts required to be pregnant. If you've had a procedure that removes the ability to get pregnant (e.g. tubal ligation, hysterectomy, etc), vote as you would have if you had not had that. If you have other conditions that make you unable to carry a pregnancy, use your best judgement to decide how to vote.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[the-smartass-under-the-mountain]

“There are many magic rings in this world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be used lightly.”

-Gandalf the Grey, wielder of Narya the Ring of Fire and also coincidentally maker of the best magic fireworks in the world

[the-smartass-under-the-mountain]

If you want a good object lesson about what we can and can't know about the past, we don't know Ea-Nasir was a dishonest merchant selling shoddy goods.

What we know is we have found a cache of complaint tablets about him selling low quality copper as high quality, in a site that was probably his own residence. We know multiple people complained he was a cheat. It's entirely possible they were right. It's also entirely possible that he kept these complaint letters as records of people he would no longer do business with, because they had made accusations and threats in order to bully him into giving them free copper. That is an equally valid interpretation of the evidence.

My point is not that we have maligned Ea-Nasir, my point is that thousands of years later, we do not and cannot know.

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Rewatching LoTR for the nth time and in the Two Towers, when Grishnákh is like "What about their legs? They don't need those." Merry looks down at his legs as of confirm to himself that he does, in fact, need them and they are indeed holding him up in that moment.

(yes I looked up 'orc that wants to eat merry and pippin' to get his name bc I don't remember it or how to spell it, but the nerdier nerds do and I love y'all for it, even though it gives me an inferiority complex).

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Like for real I've been wondering this for a while. I'm pretty sure not everyone has a pyjamas for every night of the week and presumably noone is putting worn pyjamas back in the drawer. Where are you guys putting them?? Under pillow?? Just strewn about bedroom???

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i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

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You know what's unbearably adorable to me? When Éomer grieves Boromir's death by noting that Boromir seemed to him "more like to the swift sons of Eorl than to the grave Men of Gondor." Éomer doesn’t give a shit about Gondor’s illustrious history and culture and lineage and status. The best and highest compliment Éomer can think to give to a Gondorian he admired is to say, "he was one of us."

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I do love that in Rohan culture, it seems that it's the custom for men to go out and fight and die heroically, and for women to honour their sacrifice by crying over their bodies or at their funerals. The men are to be brave, the woman to be loving. The men are to do great things. The women are to remember.

But in the film, whereas Eowyn's most iconic moment is her slaying of the Witch King, a great, heroic deed that cements her place in history, Eomer's most iconic moment is (arguably) his guttural scream when he sees Eowyn dead on the ground, dropping to his knees and cradling her to his chest.

Not only is Eowyn's most iconic moment a scene in which she takes on, by her culture's definition, the man's role, the most important role of a man, to die heroically, Eomer's most iconic moment is when he takes on the "woman's" role, to grieve.

I do love his "Death!" charge in the books so much, but because of this parallel between the siblings, I also love the film version where there is no battle for him to fight, no justice for him to wreak, there's nothing for him to do but cradle Eowyn to his chest and rock her back and forth.