theabstruseone

[theabstruseone]

met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

[theabstruseone]

To give you an idea, if the movie were made today, it would be a cybertruck.

Back to the Future (1985) dir. Robert Zemeckis

[theabstruseone]

what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this

Whereas the reality is far more like

[theabstruseone]

when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

[theabstruseone]

i love the -with mama trend but sometimes i get sad because that is clearly papa and he aint getting any credit raising those darn kids...

[theabstruseone]

[theabstruseone]

there’s a big difference between “i’m sad because a character i was emotionally invested in was killed off” and “this character’s death served no purpose, was used for shock value, and is the product of bad writing and i’m upset about that”

[theabstruseone]

And it all started because video game reviewer Stephanie Sterling called the designs on his cutesy Christian game creepy and better suited for horror.

fnaf is such, a fascinating cultural object.

[theabstruseone]

Another story from the aquarium is that a seal had just given birth and I was talking to one of the seal keepers and asked if seals mate for life and she said no, the mom has now moved on and is trying to mate with another female seal. The male apparently couldn’t care less about either her or the pup, and apparently the other female seal is now playing with the baby seal and helping to teach him how to seal. Bisexual top mom and her girlfriend, who is not the step seal but the seal who stepped up. Anyway imagine if you had an absentee father but he lives in the same house as you, sure it’s a big house but you see each other all the time he just never talks to you.

[theabstruseone]

PARIS WAS NOT NAMED AFTER PARIS HILTON YOU DIPSHIT

source?

[theabstruseone]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[theabstruseone]

I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

[theabstruseone]

got eaten up with 3 words

[theabstruseone]

you gotta have freaks and gross weirdos in your life it’s imperative to understanding the truth of humanity

[theabstruseone]

Actually no one should be having sex. All of us are aged-up minors and the passage of time is inherently problematic

[theabstruseone]

Why are you using chatgpt to get through college. Why are you spending so much time and money on something just to be functionally illiterate and have zero new skills at the end of it all. Literally shooting yourself in the foot. If you want to waste thirty grand you can always just buy a sportscar.

[theabstruseone]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.