theauthorkiwi

[theauthorkiwi]

having someone who takes an actual interest in your passions is peak autism dopamine

[theauthorkiwi]

the problem is that thinking about mark and clarissa for too long will literally drive me insane

[theauthorkiwi]

connie mentioned during the rerun the kpop demon hunters movie and now i need a tss animatic or edit to that one part of “what it sounds like” that’s goes like “so we were cowards…we’re still survivors” like does anyone else else see the vision please

[theauthorkiwi]

THE RAINN !!!!!

truly there is something to be said about art and people and how it changes the way we think and how we interact with the world around us

LAST HOPE RERUN !! SPITMATESSSS !!!!!! LITANY MY BELOVED !!!!!

i’ve been impatiently chomping at the bit all day for this stream gods i love queer art

[theauthorkiwi]

LAST HOPE RERUN !! SPITMATESSSS !!!!!! LITANY MY BELOVED !!!!!

i’ve been impatiently chomping at the bit all day for this stream gods i love queer art

[theauthorkiwi]

catholic guilt butch vs henry telling them that the lord himself has sent him annabelle

[theauthorkiwi]

i cleaned through my google docs today and got humbled so badly

[theauthorkiwi]

last hope is such an incredible piece of art i need to immediately consume all of it twenty more times and write the most complicated old women* yuri found family fic ever

[theauthorkiwi]

top 10 screenshots taken before disaster (getting bonked)

(my laptop did NOT want to show me this clip in any proper resolution)

[theauthorkiwi]

LET'S GO LESBIANS!!!

[theauthorkiwi]

"Do you think we're together in every universe?"

"'course we are, Butch!"

"..."

"Maybe in another universe, things between us could have been different, maybe you could have loved me too."

[theauthorkiwi]

IM GOING INSNE OVER BUTCHABELLE

My fav lesbian couple is two cishet men…

[theauthorkiwi]

It's their one night to be fancy

[theauthorkiwi]

something something sam playing an abusive father to mark but a supportive father to annabelle something something

i have so many thoughts about mark and clarissa and amanda that i must scream about

[theauthorkiwi]

fully inspired by this post. i was initially going to put this in the tags in a reblog, but no one deserves to be hit with this wall of text in their notifications. anyway - never give annabelle a gun is amanda wilson's favorite western.

so. hear me out. mr wilson is a huge fan of westerns, and amanda pretty much grows up on winnetou movies and shit, because that's all that plays on their tv at all times. one time, he gets this entire box of westerns on dvd on clearance, and he and amanda make it A Thing Of Theirs that they watch one of these movies maybe every day over the summer holidays, or at least as often as they can. and one of those movies is never give annabelle a gun. i can picture this pretty much straightbaiting dvd cover with annabelle and henry front and center, and butch just somewhere in the background, or maybe even not there at all, so they don't really know what they're in for. and i'm ngl, i think mr wilson is a little worried as he realises what relationship the movie is actually setting up, because he's not exactly feeling ready for the "what's a lesbian, dad?" talk, but amanda doesn't ask, so he doesn't offer, and the movie ends, and he's glad to move on.

except, amanda becomes fully obsessed with it for a while. like, she watches it over and over on the family tv every time her dad isn't home, she tries to dress like annabelle and butch, but she doesn't exactly have cowgirl-esque clothes in her closet, so it doesn't really work, etc etc. she keeps talking to clarissa about the movie so much that clarissa finally agrees to watch it with her, but she decides that it's boring halfway through and they never finish it. and after that amanda maybe stops watching it so much, and then maybe the dvd gets misplaced somewhere, and she slowly forgets about it.

until years later, as a teenager already, she's going through some boxes in the attic, and one of those boxes is full of her dad's old westerns that he now just watches on the internet. she looks through the dvds, trying to remember some of the titles she hasn't seen her dad watch in a while to remind him about, when she comes across never give annabelle a gun. she gets hit with this wave of nostalgia, she knows she used to love this movie, but she doesn't really remember anything about the plot itself, so she takes it downstairs to her room and puts it on, curious.

she sobs for a good half an hour after finishing it. and maybe she doesn't even know why, because she hasn't realised she's a lesbian yet, much less that she's in love with clarissa, but the movie stirs something in her, and she feels almost physically sick for the next few days. after that, she watches it every time she needs a good cry, and then, when she accepts that she's a lesbian, she watches it for the good kind of tears and the happy lesbian couple. and THEN, when she realises she's in love with clarissa, it becomes bittersweet again. especially after clarissa and mark start dating slash it starts to seem they're serious about each other. she sees herself in the way butch is obliviously pining for annabelle and the way annabelle keeps saying stupid things whenever she tries to confess (i mean, amanda proposed a threesome instead of telling clarissa not to marry mark. she could just as well ask her to rob a bank together when she wants to say she loves her), and, hell, she sees mark in henry, even though sometimes, when she's feeling less mean, she has to admit mark is nowhere near henry's levels of creepiness and most of it comes from her just not liking him.

(and then maybeeee after mark and clarissa inevitably get divorced - because i don't believe they're lasting more than a year - clarissa is in such a weird and apathetic mood that she hasn't even cried for weeks, and she's having trouble processing everything, so amanda, without really thinking about it, suggests that they watch this one movie that always makes her cry when she needs it. she's shaking the whole time they're watching it, because the second butch appears on the screen, she remembers why exactly she cries over this particular movie, and something about it seems dangerous. like clarissa is going to realise amanda is in love with her just because her favorite movie is a lesbian western. meanwhile, clarissa is a little confused, because by the time they get to the helium bit, it mostly seems like a stupid comedy. but then butch gets kidnapped, and clarissa is suddenly wiping tears away. she doesn't see the lesbian couple setup at all btw, but when annabelle and her dad are having that conversation about butch, she's full on sobbing, and when annabutch finally kiss, she literally stops breathing for a moment. she doesn't yet know why. but she will soon.)

[theauthorkiwi]

with how Butch started off as introducing themself as Joanie to Mr. Parker (who's clearly known his daughter's best friend for a while now) and then says "I just mostly go by Butch"

and how Annabelle was calling them Joanie while riding into town before they said "You can call me Butch,"

I really think they'd only recently discovered that Butch is their chosen name. like, very recently.

I think this was their first time saying it out loud

[theauthorkiwi]

the thing about mark cdiyw is that he might be a little fucked in the head and he might be objectively a bad match for clarissa and amanda might not like him and we all like amanda so we trust her judgement but he's also just a little guy and he was periodically tased to the point where tasers stopped working on him which can probably explain about 70% of his behaviour and he was blamed for his mother's death for ten plus years by his own father which can explain the other 30% and he genuinely cares about clarissa and he hasn't been to church since he was seven but fighting with her puts him in such a bad spot that he goes to seek advice from a priest and he just really needs to divorce his wife for everyone's sake and skip town and leave his father and his anger behind and maybe also go see a neurologist and a cardiologist after all that tasing