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[thebemoon]

"Five Exceeds Expectations" by Thebe Moon is updated!

Everyone spends the weekend dealing with the fallout from Harry and Ron's crazy week.

Chapter 8: 'Don't you want to be seductive?'

EXCERPT

"How can you defend her?" Ginny snapped. "It's her fault you won't be an Auror!"

Ron shrugged. "So? Seems like a lot of trouble, anyway." He turned to Harry. "Are you sure it's worth it, mate? You could just work in the — ahhhh!"

Ron's book fell to the floor as his right arm suddenly turned all limp and noodley. Hermione smirked as he tried to grab his right hand with his left, but the arm twisted and snapped around, smacking him in the face.

Ginny backed away, but Harry was on his feet. "Ron!"

"It's alright! I'm alright!" Ron gasped. "It's totally worth it, Harry! You'll make a great Auror! Make sure you study hard!"

Ginny, Harry and even Malfoy from his table just stared as Ron continued to yell encouragments ("Don't forget to take notes! Lots of notes! And color code them!"), and his arm slowly stiffened and returned to normal.

[thebemoon]

"Five Exceeds Expectations" by Thebe Moon is Updated!

Hermione starts a rumour.

Chapter 7: ‘You could watch me suffer.’

EXCERPT:

“No, we’re not alright, Ronald,” Hermione said sharply. “We are still very far from alright.”

“But I offered —”

“So I heard.” Hermione suppressed the urge to pull at her ribboned ponytail in despair. “That’s not enough.”

“Not enough?” Ron was shocked. “It would destroy the team if I quit Quidditch, and the Slytherins would take the Cup, and everyone would hate me, and I’d be stuck in the library for hours, wasting away, with … with …”

Ron tried to think of another horror to rain upon himself and succeeded. “With NO SNACKS!”

He looked at her with triumph, clearly expecting Hermione to weep at the sacrifice, or at least stagger backward in admiration.

Instead she just raised an eyebrow. “A dire scenario,” she said drily. “But how would it benefit me?”

“You could watch,” Ron said. “Watch me suffer.”

[thebemoon]

"Five Exceeds Expectations" by Thebe Moon has been updated!

It's time to brew the dreaded Veritaserum potion. Can Harry and Ron do it?

Chapter 6: ‘Want to strip my quill?’

Excerpt:

The first half-hour went well, but soon the Veritaserum mixtures entered a more difficult phase, and Nott stopped humming. Students began to mutter and grumble, especially a certain redhead.

“F***, I forgot to strip the porcupine quills … Harry, do I have to strip the quills?”

“Yes, Ron.”

“Ouch, they’re all scratchy … what if I just peel off —”

“You have to strip them,” Harry said.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“How did you strip them, Harry?”

“Ron, just stop. I’m counting here.”

“We’re supposed to count? Count to what … six? … 10? … 12?”

“F***, Ron, I lost count! Be quiet!”

[thebemoon]

"Five Exceeds Expectations" by Thebe Moon has been updated!

Hermione and Harry have a chat. Draco enjoys lecturing.

Chapter 5: ‘I’m sorry for being Ron!’

EXCERPT:

“I will now allow three questions,” Malfoy announced.

“Three?" Hermione cried. "How will I ever — wait, don’t get up!” she pleaded as the Slytherin started to rise. “Alright. Three questions.”

Malfoy returned to the floor and waited.

She flipped pages. “What … no, not the one … where … no … how do … no …”

“Are we speaking in tongues now, Granger?”

Hermione glared. “Fine. What is the adapted locator spell used with the Taboo?”

“I don’t know. It was a closely held secret.”

“Have you seen it used? How can —” she slapped her hand over her mouth.

“Aha! Three questions!” Malfoy crowed, sounding very Second Year.

“Two and a half!”

[thebemoon]

hii i absolutely adore your writing. out of all of the hundreds of the books ive read (both trad published and fanfics) your writing and works are my absolute favourite. ive read all your fics and am absolutely devouring your wips everytime u post. like i simply cannot get enough. this year in itself i think ive read the gloriana set 5 times+ and im currently re reading again. i wanted to ask if you have any books traditionally published? i crave your writing and your words like nothing else. love your work soo much youre insane talented!!!

Thank you!

I am not a published fiction writer, but I am a journalist and sometimes a humor columnist. I don't really plan to publish original work, although my son thinks I should revise my original science fiction novel and try to publish that. I really like the anonymity and lack of pressure in fanfic writing though. My real writing job is intensely collaborative, so it's nice to have writing projects that are all mine. I don't use a beta, so every object, phrase and comma is just me.

[thebemoon]

I’m reading the Gloriana set for the 1038262694th time, and I am dying to know what was on the list “Five Nice Things a Day I Can For Draco” pretty plleaseeeee

OMG I don't know! Hermione never told me!

I should have run a contest.

Darn.

Missed opportunity.

[thebemoon]

'Five Exceeds Expectations' by Thebe Moon is updated!

Hermione plays Spooky Spectre and learns what happened in DADA class.

Chapter 4: ‘I’ve had enough of dark arts.'

EXCERPT:

“I see your two Gabby Ghosts and raise you one … Valorous Vampire!” Hermione cried, slapping down the cards in triumph.

The Ghost cards immediately glowed, but to Hermione’s dismay, a ghost of the Vampire card drifted upward, crying out, “No! Do not play me so!”

“Get back in that card!” Hermione ordered.

“Please save me, sveet lady!” the Vampire card moaned.

“Save you? You’re supposed to be valorous!”

“Only on Vednesdays,” the card said.

[thebemoon]

REMINDER

THE POINT OF A PLOT TWIST IS TO ENRICH YOUR STORY, NOT OUTSMART YOUR READERS!!!! SPRINKLE IN YOUR FORESHADOWING!!!! LEAVE CLUES!!!

(im not saying to spell it out/make your plot twist cliche or boring. we are going for a "how did I not see that coming" vibe)

[thebemoon]

'A Clock With No Numbers' by Thebe Moon has been updated!

Hermione is still trapped in a train car with Malfoy and Harry, trying to keep the peace and discuss Planful.

Chapter 27: Planful Plans

Excerpt:

The magical DEBT train streaked through the English countryside, a long trail of white smoke streaming behind. Its gleaming tracks, heavily wrapped in spells and invisible to Muggles, crossed valleys and ravines over thin air and cut through trees and hills and brick walls.

Only a few cars were attached for this maiden voyage, and the largest and most luxurious was occupied by just three people. Two of them relaxed in their seats, sipping tea from silver-edged cups, while a twitchy wizard in glasses watched.

“Malfoy,” Hermione purred, “why don’t we take a look at your Planful plans?”

The DEBT train VIP car

[thebemoon]

'Five Exceeds Expectations" by Thebe Moon — Chapter 3 is up!

Hermione goes to breakfast and rather loses her appetite.

Chapter 3: 'The Nemey Sissies will help them.'

Excerpt:

“A sock?” she heard Ginny ask. “Ron, why do you keep writing about a sock?”

Ron turned to look at the bit of scroll she was pointing at. “No, a rock ! I turned a rock into a chick!”

“Well, it says here you turned a sock into a brick,” Ginny said.

“Agh! F***!” Ron cried. “Fine, just leave it!”

“But a brick isn’t sentient,” Parvati said, looking up from her own scroll.

“I don’t care!” Ron snapped.

Pictured: Shoe the kitten

[thebemoon]

fanfic writers who write for rare pair ships are treasures and I hope they all know about the impact they have on fandoms. like… they’re the ones bringing these ships to lives, they’re one of the few people who saw the potential between two characters whose dynamics, whether or not they interact in canon, were overlooked by most fans, and they created something beautiful out of these potential dynamics. like??? hello???? that is pure genius.

not to mention how they’re the lifelines for other people who enjoy these ships but didn’t have any fics to consume until these tireless writers spent hours or days or weeks or months or years writing about these characters and their relationships, and just shared the worlds they created with their audiences for free.

or how they singlehandedly introduced the ships to new people who would’ve otherwise never thought about these ships before.

how they could just make people fall in love with the dynamics between characters who have little to no canon screentime together.

how they could just make people fall in love with the dynamics between characters who aren’t lovers in canon, characters who don’t indicate any clear hint of romance in canon.

how they see what most fans don’t and how they create such beautiful worlds for these characters are simply insane.

fanfic writers who write for rare pair ships are treasures.

shoutout to every fanfic writer who writes for rare pair ships.

[thebemoon]

I’m currently in an 80-person musical where the vast majority of the cast are children so last night we had an “invited dress” before opening night where the kids brought their favorite toys to sit and be our first “audience.”

I will see if I can source a good photo from the cast. An entire auditorium populated with squishmallows and SpongeBob and Bluey and one adult’s Supernatural dolls in the front row.

[thebemoon]

Thebe Moon WIP 'Five Exceeds Expectations' Updated!

Hermione takes up knitting. Harry and Ron feel the press of time.

CHAPTER TWO: 'Victims just sweated a bit.'

Excerpt: At least Hermione had Neville, although he often ate dinner with his girlfriend Hannah Abbott and the Hufflepuffs. In those cases, Hermione either sat with Luna at the Ravenclaw table or with younger Gryffindors, who kept asking her about the war and if Ron Weasley really took down three werewolves, naked, with only his wand and a strip of beef jerky.

[thebemoon]

I wanted to say I have just found your fics on AO3and havd spent the last week gaily ploughing through them

You rock

And I adore your sensayuma

Plus somewhere there was a random uncredited reference to princess bride (land mass in Asia?) which tickled me

I don't think there's anything I wanted to ASK, more to give kudos xxx

Thank you!

[thebemoon]

For the Gloriana set which I also looooved

8. Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Ernie and Ernie's events. I've known so many situations where people were put in charge of things they shouldn't have been put in charge of.

That terrible Halloween Festival that Ernie put on drew from every weird school event I'd ever attended. The Secret Santa drew from some family drama the one year we were so big we tried Secret Santa and it failed. The awful Hogs vs. Warts match drew from gym class where teams were matched randomly and the results were weird.

Also, I've been around some really weird work events and drew on that to demonstrate Ernie's poor planning skills and how many things can go wrong.

Poor Ernie!

[thebemoon]

One of the many things I love about Britain.

Seeing a lot of people not from the uk not understanding who Larry the Cat is and his role in UK politics

Larry the Cat is no. 10’s official mouser. He lives at No. 10 and catches mice. He has held this position for over a decade

When shit is going down and all the news crews are hanging outside no. 10 waiting for something to happen he’s usually also hanging around outside so when there’s not much visual happening but they don’t want to cut away from the outside of No. 10 we all just watch Larry

He is often seen standing by the door waiting to be let in

He is the most competent person at No. 10

[thebemoon]

Love this so much

A tiny library loop-ish mood thing 📚