thebookofbuddha - Tumblr blog

[thebookofbuddha]

when you cannot muster the energy to really speak at all throughout the day, and then the barrier comes down and you find yourself more comfortable so every thought you had just pours out at the slightest trigger, and then the person you're talking to interrupts you by asking why you suddenly are speaking and why it has so much energy to it and they reveal that they weren't listening enough to understand what you were saying and now your voice has been snuffed out once again.

[thebookofbuddha]

A text book narcissist will do certain thing when confronted about the passive behavior they display to others. They will (in order):

1) Blame you for misinterpreting the words they meant

2) Accuse you of not truly caring how they feel because if you did, not only would you not say these things, but you wouldn't get it all so wrong

3) Deny that they hurt your feelings while rejecting the transparent truth

4) Accuse you of turning the situation on them now that you're actually mad

5) Belittle your negative experience in favor of their own by saying words like "I just don't understand how YOU could be hurt by that"

6) Shift the blame back onto you by reminding you that you technically hurt their feelings first

[thebookofbuddha]

November 17th

it really seems like you don't want me to talk to you. when i give you advice you didn't ask for, you show me just how unnecessary it was. you say i don't listen to you, that i don't value your perspective. i apologize and offer that i take a step back and you tell me that's not what you want. you say that what you want is for me to keep my opinions and input to myself.l, that i shouldn't try to help when i have no room to. you show me that i'm a no it all and too much of a fix-it person and an overbearing mother. that i'm not just your partner, that i act like a governess. i try to show you that i'm trying to help and even though my suggestions may not be what you want, that i care. i try so hard to show you that i care enough to try to help even if the suggestion isn't what you're looking for. i figured you'd appreciate someone trying. you say that all you need in the world is for someone to show you that they care. maybe i'm not soft enough for you to appreciate, maybe you see me as ignorant. i will never truly know, mainly because i don't believe it when people tell me things that are layered in anger and frustration. when i ask you for what would help you don't have an answer and so i try to find one. maybe i'm just delusional to think that anyone could ever see the effort i put into my relationships. maybe i'm just always going to be the one trying to change others, trying to get them to see how much i want them to be their best selves. maybe i'm the idiot for trying.