thecaptainsarcasm
thecaptainsarcasm
Leader of Sass and Snark
15K posts
Julia. 26. She/ her pronouns. Basically a lame person who sings a lot and makes bad jokes.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 day ago
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The term "book of the dead" doesnt really give you perspective to how big a lot of Egyptian funerary texts are.
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Imhoteps book of the Dead is 64 feet long.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 2 days ago
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an interesting linguistics find! so I'm reading this text from 1908 and it keeps referencing "hp" in the context of "not being at full hp" "applying your full hp to a task" etc
and I'm like....... okay that is a perfectly normal way to describe energy and reads totally clear to me, but I KNOW you don't mean hit points/health points which is the first place my brain goes, so what are YOU using hp to mean
and it's not explained in-text, which means it was common enough to not warrant explanation to the 1908 audience, so gotta look elsewhere
horsepower. turns out it's horsepower.
and I'm absolutely FASCINATED that a commonly used initialism from 1908 now stands for something different AND YET the contextual meaning is still the same to a 21st-century reader
I could hand this guy my nintendo switch and he'd be like, ah yes I understand, this ''''pokemon'''' loses horsepower throughout the fight
language is amazing
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thecaptainsarcasm · 3 days ago
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I always love Bruce Springsteen being like "I never considered myself queer or anything I just loved Clarence so much I had to kiss him all the time" and tbh I don't really care about labels I just wish more strait people were bringing this energy
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thecaptainsarcasm · 15 days ago
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i hate it when someone asks me what my favorite work of art is because i can't say "the one of the woman chilling on the rocks with a dragon lying in her lap and giving off powerful big dick energy" but how else am i supposed to describe it
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thecaptainsarcasm · 17 days ago
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If you like the word “queer” reblog.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 17 days ago
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I can tell there’s some sort of former lonely emo kid living inside you. What? Oh no it has nothing to do with the angst. You keep giving your normal human characters fangs when you draw them. I don’t think you even realize you’re doing it.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 17 days ago
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Okay so I’m an elementary school art teacher right, and I have this really fun game I made a PowerPoint for to teach like, emotions and intent and looking at the whole picture to first grade.
The idea is, when we count down and change slides, kids have to mimic one thing in the painting as best they can, whether it’s animate or inanimate. If there’s nothing in the shot for them to mimic (because I threw some contemporary abstract stuff in), they have to show me how the painting makes them feel. Easy enough, gets them excited to move around and vocal about their feelings regarding art, it’s very chaotic. I can tell pretty fast who’s got the emotional maturity to mimic things in a complex way, and who’s just enough of an abstract thinker to mimic inanimate objects early on in the game...
So the first picture is this:
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Napoleon Crossing the Alps. My favorite reactions are usually the kids who pretend to be the freaked-out horse, but 2 memorable occasions were the one where a student immediately scrunched up to be the rock in the foreground, and the one where a pair of girls, without any communication on their parts, decided to be Napoleon riding the horse with one as Napoleon and one as the horse. Basically one of them fully tackled the other apropos of nothing, it was hilarious
I’ll add more if y’all want or if I feel like it lol I have a bunch of stories from this one game
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thecaptainsarcasm · 17 days ago
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thecaptainsarcasm · 24 days ago
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pins by Abprallen
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thecaptainsarcasm · 26 days ago
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Fun historical tropes people keep repeating because they never learn:
If this large cluster of groups of very similar people got along they’d be unstoppable and possibly rule the world but unfortunately for them they usually all hate each other
Guys good at naval combat but not land combat vs guys good at land combat but not naval combat. This war will be very confusing.
General thats super good at winning battles but loses the whole war anyways
Two countries that hate each other being major trade partners
Woman stabs someone to get her own son in a position of power. Or she gets her son to do it himself and calls him a pansy or something.
Trying to make something illegal just makes it more popular
Somehow Benjamin Franklin was there
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 month ago
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John Oliver gets it, as usual. AI Slop is one of the best episodes of Last Week Tonight I've seen so far. Gen AI is theft. Those who use it are not authors or artists, they're grifters profiting from real creatives.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 month ago
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I’m gonna be honest it could be any of these at any time.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 month ago
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Kinda in love with the idea that different places on other sides of the world can look so similar. Something something universal human experiences
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 month ago
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>the goblin leaps to attack!
>the goblin misses!
>the goblin has scraped his little knee!
>oh, his little knee!
>oh, his little knee!
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 month ago
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I saw a sign at a nearby village advertising a "veillée", a storytelling evening, which sounded intriguing, so I went out of curiosity—it turned out to be an old lady who had arranged a circle of chairs in her garden and prepared drinks, and who wanted to tell folk tales and stories from her youth. Apparently she was telling someone at the market the other day that she missed the ritual of the "veillée" from pre-television days, when people would gather in the evening and tell stories, and the people she was talking to were like, well let's do a veillée! And then she put up the sign.
About 15 people came, and she sat down and started telling us stories—I loved the way she made everything sound like it had happened just yesterday and she was there, even tales she'd got from her grandmother, and the way she continually assumed we knew all the people she mentioned, and everyone spontaneously played along; she'd be like "And Martin, the bonesetter—you know Martin," (everyone nods—of course, Martin) "We never liked him much" and everyone nodded harder, our collective distaste for Martin now a shared cultural heritage of our tiny microcosm. She started with telling us the story of the communal bread oven in the village. The original oven was destroyed during the Revolution; people used to pay to use the local aristocrat's oven, but of course around 1789 both the aristocrat and his oven were disposed of in a glorious blaze of liberty, equality, and complete lack of foresight.
Then the villagers felt really daft for having destroyed a perfectly serviceable oven that they could have now started using for free. "But you know what things were like during the revolution." (Everyone nodded sagely—who among us hasn't demolished our one and only source of bread-baking equipment in a fit of revolutionary zeal?)
The village didn't have a bread oven for decades, people travelled to another village to make bread; and then in the 19th century the village council finally voted to build a new oven. It was a communal endeavour, everyone pitched in with some stones or tools or labour, and the oven was built—but it collapsed immediately after the construction was finished. Consternation. Not to be deterred, people re-built the oven, with even more effort and care—and the second one also collapsed.
People realised that something was amiss, and the village council convened. After a lot of serious discussion, during which no one so much as mentioned the possibility of a structural flaw, people reached the only logical conclusion: the drac had sabotaged their oven. Twice. (The drac, in these parts, is the son of the devil.) The logic here, I suppose, was that no one but the devil's own child would dare to stand between French people and their bread.
The next step was even more obvious: they passed around a hat to raise money, assuming the devil’s son was after a cash donation. But (and I'm skipping a few twists and turns of the story here) the son of the devil did not want money, he wanted half of every batch of bread, for as long as the village oven stood. Consternation.
People simply could not afford to give away half of their bread, and were about to abandon the idea of having their own oven altogether—but then Saint Peter came to the rescue. (In case you didn't know, Saint Peter happens to regularly visit this one tiny village in the French countryside to check that its inhabitants are doing okay and are not encountering oven issues.) Saint Peter reminded them of one precious piece of information they had overlooked: holy water burns the devil.
People re-built the oven, for the third time. The son of the devil returned, to destroy it and/or claim his half of the first batch—but on that day, the villagers had organised a grand communal spring cleaning, dousing every street and alley in the village with copious amounts of holy water. The poor drac simply could not access the oven; every possible path scorched his feet for reasons he couldn't quite explain. So he was standing there, smouldering gently and wondering what was going on, when some passing tramp seemed to take pity on him, pointed at his satchel and told him to turn himself into a rat and jump in there, and the tramp would carry him where he wished to go. The devil's son, probably a bit frazzled at this point, agreed without much thought, became a rat and jumped in the satchel, and of course that's the point when everyone in the village sprang from the shadows, wielding sticks, shovels, pans, and started beating the devil's son senseless. (Old lady, calmly: "You could hear his bones crack.") So the son of Satan slithered back to Hell and never returned to destroy the village oven again—and the spring cleaning tradition endured; the streets were washed with holy water once a year after that, both to commemorate this glorious day of civic resistance when the village absolutely bodied the devil's offspring and to maintain basic oven safety standards. (Old lady: "But we don't bother anymore… That's too bad.")
She told us five stories, most of them artfully blending actual local events or anecdotes from her youth with folk tale elements, it was so delightful. She thanked us for coming and said she'd love to do this again sometime. I went home reflecting that listening to an old lady happily tell stories of dubious historical veracity involving the Revolution, property damage, demonic mischief and baffling municipal decision-making is literally my ideal Saturday night activity.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 month ago
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Lesbians dressed as clowns disrupted a "gender-critical" panel last month at University College London. Participants were surprised when trans and cis dykes from The Dyke Project obstructed the proceedings while in cheerful clown attire. Julie Bindel, one of the panelists, has been a major voice against trans, bisexual, and SWer rights. The protesters chanted, “you’re not feminists, you’re all clowns!” while interrupting her. More of these protests, please! Read the full story on Dazed.
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thecaptainsarcasm · 1 month ago
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I took another post down. Because truly, only established, professionally secure Holocaust historians can be real without endangering their livelihoods.
Sorry. I don’t have a thick skin and I’m terrified of destroying my career.
Some members of my community will destroy their own if we step out of line. Non-Jews need not comment on that.
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