thecerto - Tumblr blog

[thecerto]

El Camino Christmas (2017)

"Hey, nice ride. What is it, a '71? That's the year I found our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the honorable Jack Daniels. Jack's still with me."

[thecerto]

“it’s just a scene from a tv show, it can’t hurt you.”

the scene:

when I tell you this is exactly the moment where I broke down and cried actual tears. right when the camera panned towards her friends being there with her, tears were literally flooding down my face

[thecerto]

Oliver Jackson-Cohen as James Ellis in Surface (1X03)

[thecerto]

[thecerto]

The Dragonknight said he’d never faced a finer swordsman.

[thecerto]

[thecerto]

PENN BADGLEY as JOE GOLDBERG YOU | 4.01 “Joe Takes a Holiday”

[thecerto]

[thecerto]

"We have to have to ability to speak and express our interest and explore ideas beyond the limits of our own singular lives."

[thecerto]

IM GOING TO THROW UP HES SO CUTE

[thecerto]

Braeden Lemasters as Trevor Askill t@gged (2016-2018) 3.12 “Surrender”

[thecerto]

[thecerto]

Avatars 400*640 - Leo Suter Harald Sigurdsson | Vikings : Valhalla

[thecerto]

[thecerto]

Why doesn’t tumblr like El Camino Christmas? It’s like Hateful Eight but less violent (kinda?) and more festive.

[thecerto]

El Camino Christmas (2017)

My brother first recommended this movie to me, which should have been an indication that it was not a typical Christmas movie. We have a rather large central cast in this one, too, so hold on.

Eric Norris (Luke Grimes) has recently lost his mother and came to El Camino, Nevada looking for his father, Michael Roth. Upon arriving in town, he meets two deputies, the well-meaning idiot Billy Calhoun (Dax Shepard) and the power-hungry drunk Carl Hooker (Vincent D'Onofrio). Carl is convinced that Eric is a meth dealer because Eric seems a little shady. Which, he does seem a little suspish, but why jump to meth? Eric then goes to find the address where his father lived at some point. There he meets Larry (Tim Allen), the town drunk. Larry is angry and obnoxious, but he's not in denial about it like Carl is.

Fast forward a little bit, Carl and Billy arrest Eric on like one real charge and three fake ones. Then Carl beats the shit out of Eric. Billy freaks out, so when Carl leaves, Billy lets Eric go. However, Eric isn't fast enough and Carl sees Eric's car before he can get out of town. Carl shoots into Eric's engine so he can't keep driving, and Eric bolts into the nearby Vicente's Liquor Mart. Inside the liquor store already is Larry, the owner of the store Vicente (Emilio Rivera), an employee at the store and single mom Kate Daniels (Michelle Mylett), and Kate's 5 year old son Seth (Ashton Essex Bright), who is nonverbal.

Carl is pissed, and Billy is not responding to him because Billy is a little bitch. Eric is not really in a hurry to just go with Carl, so Carl fires his gun into the air outside the liquor store and puts a call in, "shots fired at Vicente's Liquor Mart, back up requested." After quite a scramble inside, Larry shoots Carl in the leg, Eric takes Carl's gun, and now it looks like a hostage situation.

Sheriff Bob Fuller (Kurtwood Smith) arrives on the scene, having no idea about Eric's arrest and release. Billy is trying to explain, but doesn't want to say that he let Eric go because Carl beat the shit out of him. The whole thing turns into a media circus outside as Beth Flowers (Jessica Alba) turns up live on the scene, asking questions Billy doesn't want to answer. She interviews Jewels (Kimberly Quinn), Kate's mom, and finds out there's a child inside, Seth. This gets it boosted to the state and national news, which is what Beth has always wanted, and fianlly the state officers show up to handle the hostage situation. Bob is annoyed that someone is taking over in his town, but he also knows that Billy and Carl are not good cops.

Inside the liquor mart, Carl is trying to convince everyone that he's the good guy. Eric is freaking tf out. Larry is just living for the drama of it all. Kate and Vicente are responding like most normal people probably would. Seth is just chilling, playing with a remote control truck he got for Christmas from Vicente.

It's more of a modern take on Westerns than a Christmas movie, but I was into it. This is the first Tim Allen movie that I've ever liked because I believed his character- the rude, mean drunk everyone hates (I cannot get behind the movies where Tim Allen is a great guy who just also happens to be an asshole). My only complaint is the way they handled Seth. It seemed like he was supposed to be a nonverbal autistic child, but he acted like someone with selective mutism. I will choose to believe that they were trying for representation in this movie, and everyone loved Seth regardless, which is wonderful. I just know the difference better than most, so I'm being picky. Overall, if you like dark humor or westerns, this is worth it. 4 stars.

[thecerto]

― Emily in Paris S01E10: Cancel Couture

Gabriel: I've thought about this so many times.

Emily: I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it too.