thedanthology

[thedanthology]

November 7th, 2016. I was 23 years old; now I'm 30. Typos et al, this writing still holds so much of how I exist. Much has shifted and much remains.

Black Noise.

I don’t know what is to be looked at as whole and full. I don’t know what it means to be fully human. I am not aware, allowed to be aware of what it means to be free. To be able to experience simple humanity. I am not present in every part of my true existence. I check each aspect of my compartmentalized self, one at a time, day after day- to sew myself up, to patch my existence together: firstly for my survival, and secondly for your comfort-

I am made aware of my dehumanization on every level of my consciousness, in my dreams, in my classrooms, in my car. your consciousness, in your dreams, in your classrooms, in your car. Every time my heart takes a beat I am vibrantly pulsed with the blessing you’ve given me to breathe. Yet, My heart still being called inhuman-

Each speckle of reclamation I take back from this “nonexistence,” each thought I claim as mine and not yours. I cherish and I try to swallow. To transubstantiate your decimation being championed by my ancestors. I reclaim the names you erased, and I proclaim to feel their loss when one day you acknowledge it as if it is fresh and new.Because it is still fresh and new. I decide to hold onto their my pain. Our existence is not to be desecrated. It is to be understood and to remain and to be reclaimed for you and for us. It is to be fully loved.

I warn you. We are not scorned we are burned. Our skin has peeled, and our scars are never healed. But we don’t wear masks. We never hide. We can’t. We still feel. We still see. We still hear. That is how we know we are real, humans.

-Written by someone who sheds real, human tears.

[thedanthology]

[thedanthology]

Warm winter evening.

Ig @thedanthology

[thedanthology]

“Black Baby In Utero.” 30x40in.

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Treated as sub human. Dying at 3x the rates of other United States infants, black children are often not given the opportunity to thrive even before they take their first breath. From lack of pre natal care, social determinants of health and prevelant medical racism many infants are born pre term and low birth weight. At times, leading to life long health complications and increased odds of death.

Please share my work.

[thedanthology]

[thedanthology]

Post shower. IG @thedanthology

[thedanthology]

Candids.

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[thedanthology]

Question your peacoc[king]

What’s wrong with performing?

What’s wrong with wanting another person to comfort or help you?

Is it not human, is it not normal to yearn comfort?

To yearn and seek in a contemporary and appropriate manner?

To peacock for love. Lust. Respect. Or validation.

[thedanthology]

#happyhalloween “Auras”

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[thedanthology]

“Are we all Basquiat?”

IG @thedanthology Www.Thedanthology.com

[thedanthology]

Weekdays.

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[thedanthology]

Ig @thedanthology

[thedanthology]

You, Yourself

Dealing with your friends suicidal thoughts, but you’re only talking to yourself.

Trying to decide to tell someone. They told you not to. They said I know it’s heavy but I just want to talk to you. But you’re not built for this. You have your own problems. Your own thoughts.

So you try to make it symbiotic, you try to listen and they try to listen too. You both try to listen. You both feel guilt. You both think each are too much, you both think your friend needs help you’re not equipped to give them. Sad, but true. True and okay, okay to identify limits, even better to know not to surpass them. At least.

At the end of the day your health is what your accountable for. Your health is what you walk with. Sleep with. Think with. Trying to decide what to do, and you’re stuck. Still talking to your friend. But... you’re your friend.

[thedanthology]

Seasonal Transitions. IG @thedanthology Www.thedanthology.com

[thedanthology]

Rainy week fit| Sept. ‘18 IG @thedanthology www.thedanthology.com

[thedanthology]

Pep Talk

No music

No workouts

Never outside, unless it’s after 10pm.

Haven’t been myself lately. Feeling tight. Haven’t ran, haven’t sweated, haven’t worked out enough to need a stretch.

Haven’t

been

myself lately.

Want find new things, new people, new places, new loves. New creations.

I am a creator. A connector. I want to do those things.

Tomorrow morning go out. Drag yourself out. In the rain, or shine. The weather never mattered to you.

You

Need

This.

Find something to do.

[thedanthology]

Afraid

So sad....So alone...

Feels so alone, feels like a failure.

I am breaking.

I am shaken.

I am perpetually on the verge of tears.

They mention love, they mention a Check in- I am heartbroken. My ego is chopped down.

My heart beats so heavy...

I am disclosing my fear. My unease. My thoughts, as consciousness- as clear they can be to you.

Please make them both out to Derek A. Anyone..

I cut so much out of this. Love me. Listen

So... so... scared....