thedauntlessmundane

[thedauntlessmundane]

Hello,

Here we go again, battling my anxiety and depression. I’m currently experiencing a migraine while writing this rant. I’ve lost my health benefits, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I discussed my situation with my husband, and he offered me three options: 1. He suggested he’ll look for another job that offers more benefits, including health insurance. 2. He proposed that I pay for the benefits out of pocket. 3. He advised me to cancel the benefits altogether and wait until I have more financial stability. I expressed my inability to wait, as I have upcoming check-ups and appointments. He insisted that I cancel the benefits, saying, “No, I can’t. It’s important.” He then suggested that I pay for the benefits myself. I questioned why he has the money to pay for them, but he had chosen to work in his current job and stay there indefinitely, which I can’t do. I have plans and dreams, but I don’t think I can afford any of them right now, especially considering having a family, children, and other responsibilities.

[thedauntlessmundane]

Hello my world,

I'm feeling really down right now. One of my friends has passed away, and I know how important mental health is. I have so many questions swirling in my mind. Why did he do this? Why did he leave us? It frustrates me that he didn't reach out to us. I'm experiencing a whirlwind of emotions—anger, sadness, and confusion. I'm still in the grieving process and just wish I could turn back time to change what happened to him.

I love you B.

[thedauntlessmundane]

Hello world,

Naalala ko lang yung ex boyfriend ko dati nung college ako, HS classmate ko siya. LDR kami before sobrang hirap pero umuwi siya once, yun lang pag kikita namin. Na sa ireland siya. Ako sa pinas. Siguro kung di kami LDR or naging patience ako, kami pa siguro.. wala lang napapaisip lang. Gusto ko lang basahin convo namin kaso wal na ako copy ng convo namin. Sad. Pero naalala ko nung sinurprize ko siyang puntahan sa kanila pag dating nya. Napapangiti at napapaisip lang ako. Share lang. thoughts lang to ha. Byeeee

Alam ko, oo na. Kasalanan ko na at hindi na pwede.

Bye world 🌎 👋🏻

[thedauntlessmundane]

Alam mong mali pero ginawa mo? (Eh kasi masaya)

Hindi na kasi ako masaya.

Minsan kasi kapag wala na tayo sa level ng kasiyahn tapos bigla mong ma eexperience to sa maling tao, hindi mo kasi maiisip sa una na mali, hindi mo maiisip na bawal or hindi pwede kasi ang maiisip mo sarili mo. Maiisip mo yung kasiyahan mo.

Hindi naman mali isipin sarili mo. Minsan kasi hindi natin napapansin nauubos na tayo tapos may biglang mag fifill-in ng gap kahit hindi natin alam na mali na tayo.

Hirap i explain pta

[thedauntlessmundane]

U treating me sht I’ll treat you sht too. Breakeven.

[thedauntlessmundane]

I just wanna f him.

[thedauntlessmundane]

08|25|23

So ayun na nga. I just got back from hawaii. So much drama and toxic. I’m with difficult person ever. We are good friends but we are not that close. I was just her comfort person lol and slave. I feel like she’s holding me on my neck that I can’t breath anymore and naubos na ako. Para akong jowa haha

She actually planned the hawaii trip she wants me to go with her. She booked airbnb and she told me she want a jeep as our car so I rented one. I bullet type ko nalang yung mga ginawa niya para mas highlighted lol

• Ayoko sa lahat pinag iintay ko. Pinag intay niya ko ng isang oras sa labas ng apt niya hahahaha pota sya

• I was in the middle of my work and she texted me that she needs me. Sobrang pagod na ako ha kasi nag baby sit ako sa anak ng mga boss ko sa disneyland. Tapos nawawala daw phone niya blah blah. It’s very serious daw. Baka daw hindi na matuloy yung plan namin sabi ko edi cancel na. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko kasi pagod din ako tapos pinapapunta pa niya ako sa place niya which is 1 hr travel time midnight na yun ha. Sabi ko oh wow I can’t leave my work here sorry I can’t help you. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko kasi grabe siya kausap as in magulo siya kausap hindi mo siya makausap ng maayos. Eh hindi din ako nag fufunction. Tapos na sabi niya pa na bakit parang yung trip daw yunb iniisip ko tapos sabi ko ay wow jowa ka. Syempre eto nilolook forward ko una sa lahat and problem mo yan kaya gawan mo ng paraan ano gusto mo gawin ko di ba. Nandito lang ako to support you. Hindi mo ko utusan.

• Nag dinner kami sa restaurant tapos sabi niya kilala niya daw yung mga tao dun sabi ko sino dyan yung mga nag wowork dun kilala niya kasi friends daw ng dinate niya. Coincidence daw lol. Ay wow di ako tanga po no. Grabe obsess niya sa guy eh isang beses niya lang naman dinate. Tapos grabe pag stalk niya dun sa guy alam niya lahat lol. Mejo creepy sya. Feeling niya daw gusto daw sya nun or iniistalk daw siya. Wow parang baliktad. Ginost kasi siya lol di niya matanggap maganda daw siya blah blah.

• Nalate kami sa flight 730 nag alarm ako puyat pa ako nun ha kasi kinagabihan hindi ako makatulog kasi ang ingay nya ang gulo niya kumakain tapos bukas lahat ng ilaw at nanunuod pa siya. So ayun na nga 8 na siya bumangon ang bagal kumilos 9 siya natapos. Take note usapan namin 830 kami aalis keso malapit daw siya sa airport ayan na traffic pa kami hindi kami tuloy umabot sa flight. Nobody’s fault daw.

ANG INSENSITIVE NYA GRABE I CAAANNNOOOT

• Pagod ako kasi spontaneous yung lakad namin. Nag mall nalang kami nag lakad lakad. Tapos grabe siya mag kwento ng life niya puro siya nalang hindi ka man lang niya pag kkwentuhin lol. Makinig ka lang eh di nga ako nag fufunction. Mejo nabbwisit na ako. Nag kkwento siya random na kwento na hindi naman ako interested.

• Pag landed, hindi niya man lang ako kinakausap tapos nakuha ko na yunf car hindi man lang ako tulungan sa google map pota. Picture lang sya ng picture. G n g sa self.

• Take note napikon siya dahil sa pag park ng car ha. Parang bata pota nkakabigay ng feeling.

• Hindi ko na sya kinausap buong gabi nakatulog na sya habang ako umiinom. Nakatulog pa sya sa gitna ng kama eh saan ako hihiga pota so sa couch nalang ako natulog.

• Kinaumagahan kausap ko friend ko tapos biglang pumasok si ate ghurL ano daw ba plans namin today kausapin ko daw sya na parang walang nangyari. Sabi ko plan ko iwan ka and bubukod ako. Nag wala si ate ghorL daming sinasabi hahaha tapos ako tumatawa lang lahat ng sinasabi niya, dinedescribe nya self niya. Eh kapag ganung away wala akong kwentang kausap gusto ko nalang matapos nalang kaya sabi ko gusto ko umalis di ko na kaya kasama ka. Tapos umiyak sya sabi niya bakit ko daw sya iiwan ano daw dahilan. Aba di ko kasalan yun and hindi ko naman kailangan pa i explain self ko dapat alamin mo kung bakit ka iniiwan ng mga tao sa paligid mo.

• Kinaladlad niya ako and nakalmot niya ako kasi pinipigilan niya ako umalis sabi ko gusto ko na umalis sabi niya wag ko daw sya iwan blah blah. Sabi ko bigyan mo muna ako space gusto ko muna mag isip and huminga. Tapos umalis ako iniwan ko sya haha nag unwind ako and kumain. Pag balik ko sabi ko oh ano mag usap na tayo aba hindi naman ako pinansin. Umupo ako saglit tapos mga ilang minuto sabi ko ay okay alam ko na sagot mo. Fine. Aalis na ako.

•Blinock ko sya sa lahat nf socmed and phone ko lol.

• Nakasuhan din sya ng shoplift ha. Ibang issue pala yon haha

• Tapos kapag nag cocompliment ako sa gamit niya sa apartment sabi niya ay syempre 1k usd bili ko dyan ay syempre 200 usd yan mahal yan. Jusko di naman ako nag tatanong kung mag kano hahahah

Minsan need natin mag bawas ng tao sa life natin lalo na pag pabigat. Kasi nakakadagdag pa ng isipin lol Excess baggage pa lol

Ingat ka nalang teh.

[thedauntlessmundane]

Part 2

[thedauntlessmundane]

8•12•23

Hi,

Outside land day. I’m not working today but my husband is. I decided not to work so I can rest and enjoy my day off this weekend. I’m thinking my work next week and I’m tired already. Lol

I thought I’m going to be by myself all day. I’m with my husband niece and cousins. Idk about the festival price but fuck they overcharged, like they charge for 1 big white claw for 17 usd. You can by whole case for that lol.

I had fun. I mean it. Chill and relax but dang my feet hurts for standing ading and walking all day. It’s so tight that me and R are close together. When the crowd start to moving forward we did ‘chain’ which is he hold my arm just to keep tight and no one going to lost but damn he hold my shoulders and we almost hug each other. I don’t remember that much but I really enjoy that night and I had fun.

Ayoko na mag kwento pa pero masaya ako sobra that night. Yung ngiti nya sakin na tumatak sa isip ko. Yung ngiti na abot hanggang mata. Tapos yung maputing ngipin niya nakakasilaw. Haynko.

[thedauntlessmundane]

Bakit ganun siya mag salita parang sobrang nag cacare sya sa akin lol masyado lang ako assumera hahahha

[thedauntlessmundane]

I feel relieved when I talked to my brother. 😌

[thedauntlessmundane]

I grew up in sadness.

[thedauntlessmundane]

I have leopard gecko named lucy. She’s not been eating for past 1 and half weeks. What should I do? I checked everything her hide, temperature and so whatever. But still she’s not yet eating. I know she’s stress. I hope she can talk so she could tell me what’s the problem 🥹

[thedauntlessmundane]

“Forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.”

— Unknown

[thedauntlessmundane]

Back when I was younger, I used to play outside and have a lot of friends. I’m friendly and also a war freak. Lol

I have these bestfriends which is also my neighbor. But of course at first were not a good friends because they bullying me back then. But as we grow up, we appreciate each other and we always been together since then. I love them. We treated each other as if were like sisters. Our bond is very strong even were far away from each other we trust and maintain our feelings for us.

I have pau and ezy. I’m the oldest but the immature one, pau is the next one (she’s the most quite (she don’t wanna share her story unless you push her) or she needs more time to be comfortable) and our one and only baby ezy. She told us, only her bestfriends or closest one who can call her ‘cheche’.

Our parents kinda bff’s too. Were so close that we treated each other house like ours too. I missed them. I’ll never forget our memories together. Growing up having them is the best ever! Through ups and downs, they don’t judge me (sometimes they do but they are very vocal about it) they love me, they give me life and love advices. I can’t replace them. If I didn’t get married I’ll be them forever. 🤣 I’ll them to adopt me lol

We have this plan for the future, don’t get marry, no kids and etc. we will build this compound with house and nice backyard. A lot of animals (dogs, cat, cow and goat) maybe fish too. We just take car of them. And also take care of each other. But were are in different world now. We have different scenarios.

I’m going to cry if I see them again. I’m going to hug and kiss them. I’m going to make lambing to them that they’re big sister came back.

[thedauntlessmundane]

“People change, no use getting sentimental about it. Move on, find someone else.”

— David Nicholls, One Day