thedeepend27-blog - Tumblr blog

[thedeepend27-blog]

Something will grow from what you are going through. And it will be you.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

[thedeepend27-blog]

I am scarred, but not disfigured. I am sad, but not hopeless. I am tired, but not powerless. I am angry, but not bitter. I am depressed, but not giving up.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

I need a break from my own thoughts.

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[thedeepend27-blog]

People never learn anything by being told. They have to find out for themselves

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[thedeepend27-blog]

A year ago, I would never have pictured the way my life is now.

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[thedeepend27-blog]

Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want the most is the person you are best without.

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[thedeepend27-blog]

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love and value.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

the part that hurts is that no one understands how i feel except for me. at the end of the day everyone will carry on with their lives and according to their needs while you’re just there. they hear you guys have broken up, give you a pat on the back and go on. the same people that are supposed to be there with you every step of the way. i feel like when people ask you “how are you” you’re not really supposed to say how you feel. you just tell them what they want to hear to keep the conversation going. but i find it really hard to find someone i can sit with and wants to really know how im feeling. someone who really wants to genuinely know how im doing mentally. someone that’s really interested to hear what a heartbroken person has to say. maybe its just because im a person like that. im very interested in the little details of how people are feeling, the way they think, why they think that way & what led them to view things in this perspective. im not the type of person to let a break up break ME down. i think for sure im not the type of person to let just about anything necessarily BREAK ME DOWN. however, in this situation, i do hear my soul screaming a bit on the inside. it wants someone to listen. and if anyone were to read this, they would be like “omg you could just talk to me, mental health awareness!” but it doesn't quite work like that. life has taught me that people truly use your weakest moments in life, the moments that you’re the most vulnerable to take advantage of you. these are usually people that have never experienced this type of weakness before or people that have and fear ever experiencing it again so they mock you for feeling this way simply because its not them. 

i must say, this entire journey is teaching me a lot about myself and other people. it’s teaching me that we are truly the only ones that can be there to lift ourselves up. i must say, im very thankful for my mother because i feel like she’s the only person that’s keeping me going. she's the only person that sits with me and listens to me. 

if these people even really knew me, they’d know im not the type of person to just sit and cry about a breakup. but sometimes i wonder, if it were them... how would they feel? the same neglect & lack of care they show me .. how would they feel if i treated them that way? its just like everyone wants to hear the juicy stuff. they don't want to know how you’re coping. they won’t even take a second to put themselves in your shoes. it sucks, but i guess thats how our generation is. its very fast-paced, no time for being in your “feels” or no time for sorting out your feelings. it’s just onto the next big thing in life. 

[thedeepend27-blog]

i guess i can finally say my intuition is pretty bomb & my gut usually tells whats right. it’s just a matter of actually listening to it. 

[thedeepend27-blog]

02/24/19  I realized today, that no one cares or understands about what you’re going through. they don’t care about the struggle it took for you to get there. they don’t want to hear about the tough things or even try to support you during this time. they’re only interested when you’ve reached the top. and when i say interested i mean, being jealous of you & trying to beat you. I think this is why we have so much gratitude for parents because they’re genuinely probably the only people in the world that wholeheartedly want what’s best for you. really the only ones that will take care of you and tolerate you. i feel like we really take for granted the relationship between a parent and a child. it’s so beautiful and pure. well i might be speaking for myself but in general it really is. i’m so thankful and grateful for my parents and all they’ve given up for me and done for me. it may not seem like it on a daily basis but i love them with all my heart. you know we all go looking for love in relationships and fail to see it’s literally been within us our entire life. it’s a special, unbreakable bond. my mother is the one person that can literally drive me up the wall but the same person that will give up her life for me. 

i truly believe the saying, a person will never understand something unless they experience it. someone can tell you a million times, “don’t become weak and stupid in your first relationship” but until you go through that experience you will never understand why they told you that. now not everyone learns this way, but i find myself in particular, I definitely learn this way. before entering a relationship, the mindset and confidence I had was pretty solid in my opinion, the things i said i would never do, i did. the boundaries i would never cross i did. the disrespect i endured, i allowed. the fear that was always lingering in my gut when something would happen, i pretended to not feel it. the denial i pretended to ignore, i ignored. all the things i told myself once upon a time not to do, i did. and now im here like how did all of this even happen? how did I become this person? where are my morales and standards? where is MY SELF RESPECT? why should another human being that im in a relationship in, feel like they can treat me a certain way? why should boundaries be crossed? but i needed to feel this to understand. i needed to really go through the worst to understand better. I’m definitely one of those in-the-moment people where im like, ugh why me??? but then i really and truly understand. you NEED to go through the BAD to understand the GOOD. and until you do this very thing, this quote will just be a couples of words to you & won’t speak to you like how it has spoke to me. i must say, this is one of my favourite feelings, for whoever cares. i love growing up & understanding where these quotes come from. understand why people need to constantly remind themselves of these quotes to keep themselves going.  

becoming an adult is a tough thing to do for sure. I would have never made it unless i had my parents rooting for me every step of the way which is why im eternally grateful to them. but no one can prepare you for a relationship. a relationship is truly something you need to literally make yourself vulnerable to experience. i don't think i have any regrets about how vulnerable i made myself, i don't think i didn't do anything that no body else would have done. before being in a relationship, i would mock people for constantly breaking up & getting back together, but you know what, it happens with everyone.

its like this: you’ve opened up yourself completely to a person. just raw, cut open on a table, your feelings, secrets, thoughts, habits, fears, spilled all over this table. and here is this person that’s supposed to take care of you and that you’ve entrusted with your weaknesses. you say this person is your forever, this person is the one, you’ll be with them forever. and maybe you will? you cannot blame yourself for saying these things because you really believed this. this is how you feel/felt. this is why when someone you love hurts you, it stings and pains like no other. your body responses as if you’ve been physically hurt & your mind takes over and you feel devastated. you question God why are you going through this over & over? you ask Him for a sign, ask him to guide you, ask him to lead you because you cannot lift your head to see straight. you’re stuck. you want to move forward but there’s so many obstacles. You tell yourself if you love him, you’ll stay through the toughest battles but then you question how much can you tolerate? when is enough, enough? when do you cross the line? when does it end? every time you’re close the edge you back away because it’s easier that way. because “love conquers all” right? you pray for a sign, some help to just push you in the direction you need to go. just please show me, and when i don’t listen God just push me. just take me and push me. and when you’re at this point you’ve pretty much answered your question/ you realize you shouldn't be pondering this much on what to do? it shouldn't be this hard. now it’s all up to you, when do you cross that line and say enough? .... 

[thedeepend27-blog]

I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.

Margaret Atwood (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

I’m just tired; I just want the world to be quiet for a bit.

Matt Healy (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are simply toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us

Daniell Koepke (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.

Mooji (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

Don’t let your loyalty become slavery. If they don’t appreciate what you bring to the table, let them eat alone.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thedeepend27-blog]

Anxiety happens when you have to figure everything out at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You’ve got this. One day at a time.

(via purplebuddhaquotes)