thedemon-crowley

[thedemon-crowley]

Are you like... You know... *flops hand down*

I see what you’re trying to ask now.

I suppose the best way to describe me in human terms would be ‘queer’.

If I start getting into specifics, we’ll be here all day.

[thedemon-crowley]

What even are you? Like that's still a mystery to me

I’m…a demon?

Y’know, angel fallen from Heaven, cast out into the darkness as eternal punishment for joining Lucifer in his rebellion against The Almighty.

Also the Serpent who tempted Eve to defy God by eating the Fruit which led to the Fall of Man.

Does that answer your question?

[thedemon-crowley]

Hello, is this the suggestion box?

Errr, sure! Why not?

What's your suggestion?

[thedemon-crowley]

girl unhinge ur jaw

[thedemon-crowley]

Yez we have a complaint and queztionz . No it doez not mean you can azk anything.

[thedemon-crowley]

because i have eyes and can see.

Whatever you say! Your interpretation says more about you than it does about me.

[thedemon-crowley]

how are you horny posting on a post about dog bites /silly

Who says I’m hornyposting? Snakes bite!

[thedemon-crowley]

if you get bitten by something you approached it's your fault. Especially if it was a leashed hellhound. Nobody cares about your chewed up hand, you could have stayed away.

[thedemon-crowley]

sometimes i remember that y'all were broken up. and also denying that you were in love.

Sometimes I remember that too!

[thedemon-crowley]

if you get bitten by something you approached it's your fault. Especially if it was a leashed hellhound. Nobody cares about your chewed up hand, you could have stayed away.

[thedemon-crowley]

[BOOM, ALL YOUR PLANTS ARE BACK]

*FRANTICALLY LOOKING THROUGH ALL OF THEM WITH ALL THE CONCERN OF SOMEBODY FRANTICALLY CHECKING A LOVED ONE FOR INJURIES*

[thedemon-crowley]

*your house appears to be… plantless. Ethereally plantless…*

Bastard stole them back and didn’t even return mine…

*sulking with his plant mister*

[thedemon-crowley]

Let’s all take a moment to be thankful that Adam Young never got his hands on The Day of the Triffids pre-Armageddon.

[thedemon-crowley]

I didn’t say you weren’t, but you did allow their leaves to get torn.

I’ll come back to you with their decision, then.

No one has asked me to solve this problem.

[thedemon-crowley]

There’s been what?! Abssssolute—take me to them, now.

No one has asked me to solve this problem.

[thedemon-crowley]

…………………..

PROMISE???

Samael's been staying at my place for the past few days... says he can't face his desecrated apartment, poor lamb.

[thedemon-crowley]

Trust me, that took a very long time for him to learn. Then again, the Almighty wasn’t the best role model for diplomacy.

*Poorly stifled relief*

Fine, good. So you ought to know how they’re doing down there, and whether they’d be inclined to come back. I’m not going to waste my breath if they’re going to stay anyway.

No one has asked me to solve this problem.