Genuinely, what is going on with this fandom? I've not been as active as I'd like to be, because this year I've been incredibly busy with work. I would love to spend more time enjoying this space with my peers, especially the fanworks you all spend a great deal of time and energy doing with minimal compensation. I feel guilty at times that I'm not able to do that.
With that said, every time I come back for a little bit it's as if someone has completely lost the plot as to why we're here. We are here to support those who are constantly beat down by the narratives that are supposed to entertain us. We are supposed to be the ones subverting those narratives and helping other people see that people are complicated.
I get that we all can be a bit messy, too. I know that we're not all perfect - but continually, I find out that there are people here more concerned with clout chasing or associating one's self with "the right people" rather than getting to know and understand that PEOPLE make up this fandom with their own thoughts and feelings.
It is not acceptable to enter into these spaces with prejudices against any marginalized person. It is not acceptable to coerce people into saying or doing something for you, especially berating them in the process. It's not acceptable to make people out to be bullies for simply disagreeing with you. It is not acceptable to create a toxic environment.
TERFs aren't welcome. Anyone dedicated to the systematic oppression of any one of our peers isn't welcome here. These are hard rules. We cannot. We cannot. We cannot tolerate intolerance. This is just common sense. As soon as you align yourself with these kinds of people, we all lose. Stop giving them space in this fandom.
I think people must get confused because we try our best to understand why people say and do what they do, but we shouldn't let our empathy make us vulnerable to fundamentally changing who we are to benefit bigots. If you are a bigot and/or you're only here to make yourself look more powerful and important then I have two words for you:
Fuck off.
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on the way home, the Tesla Model 3 barreled into a tree and exploded in flames, killing von Ohain, a Tesla employee and devoted fan of CEO Elon Musk. Rossiter, who survived the crash, told emergency responders that von Ohain was using an āauto-drive feature on the Teslaā that ājust ran straight off the road,ā according to a 911 dispatch recording obtained by The Washington Post. In a recent interview, Rossiter said he believes that von Ohain was using Full Self-Driving, which ā if true ā would make his death the first known fatality involving Teslaās most advanced driver-assistance technology.
Finally, they have a witness. A survivor of an Autopilot mishap who can testify that the driver was using Full Self Driving mode at the time of the crash.
See, this has been impossible thus far because (1) survivors are rare, and (2) Teslas are programmed to automatically disengage Self-Driving milliseconds before the crash so that when investigators review the telemetry it clearly shows FSD wasn't turned on.
And due to this technicality, Musk has been able to claim Autopilot has never killed anybody. Until now.
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Hi everyone!
I have to address something that has gone on and is currently occurring. This is the last thing I want to do because I have spent eight years in different fandoms and avoided as much drama as possible. I want no part in it. I want to enjoy my time here.
Unfortunately, this is no longer drama. This is about an individual harming people, their mental health, their safe spaces, their enjoyment of fandom, their favorite ship, and their writing. This is about an individual who chooses bigotry over friendship and will align themselves with bad people for popularity.
And they donāt care who they harm by doing it.
This person made my life a living hell for over five months. It started in August, but things took a turn in October. I was finally free of them in late February because that is when a fandom event ended that tied me to them.
During this event, this person stressed me out to the point of tears. They made passive-aggressive remarks about various things, which made me feel insecure about my fic and writing. They unexpectedly changed their medium and didnāt talk to me about it before they did; I admit I was taken aback, hurt, and short with them. I apologized and took accountability the following day.
From then on, I tried to be as supportive, kind and understanding as possible.
I was āpushyā in December and January because this person had not produced a single finished piece of their art, which would total ten pieces. I knew it was too late in January to get a pinch hitter, and I donāt care that I asked a few times how it was going when I had nothing. I handed them a completed fic on August 28th. They had nothing until mid-January (and almost didnāt make it to this deadline) but didnāt start the bulk of their work until late January 22nd and finished (except polishing and watermarking) on the 26th.
Final submissions were on January 31st.
It took them four days to do what they hadnāt done in five months. I asked if they needed an extension, and we got one because they were not done by the final submission day. I had watched another writerās artist drop out at the last minute, and mods said they couldnāt find anyone to pinch-hit for them.
This experience was a bad one. I canāt express how shitty it felt. I didnāt write for three months during it, and the fics Iāve written since then arenāt very good. I also have watched my readership disappearāgetting the hits and kudos I did before October stopped.
I had a feeling this individual might have been involved if they were talking about me, but I thought I was being paranoid. I still may be, but since this has all happened, I have started to regain readers. I find that interesting.
Anyway! This whole thing ended, and it was bitter for me. I donāt have any more enjoyment in this fandom. I love my ship, but I currently have no desire to write them. Iāve been depressed and Iām scarred from fandom events. This person took away my joy when I only wanted to participate in a fandom event with my friends and have fun.
Because fandom is supposed to be fun, itās not supposed to do this to people. Itās insane that it does this to people, and I never wanted to be involved in this bullshit.
This person has gone on to enjoy other fandom events, write and produce art, and seems to be doing fine.
Through small but interesting events, I started to learn about this individualās āperspectiveā on the entire thing with me. And, hoo boy, it was a fucking ride.
I am still shocked, amazed, flabbergasted and kinda pissed off about how this person lied about me. Everything they said was a complete lie. They shared my DMs via screenshots out of context, warped what we were talking about to play the victim and get sympathy, and flat-out lied numerous times. I have been accused of forcing them to do things during the event when I have screenshot proof that never happened.
For everything this individual accused me of, I provided screenshots to tell the fucking truth.
Two people have told me the same phrasing: they made me out to be a monster.
A monster.
If anyone knows me, my character, they know Iām not a goddamn monster. I try to keep my head down, stay in my lane, play in my sandbox corner, enjoy my ships, and have fun with my friends.
To be called a monster or to have someone say, āyouāre nothing like they made you out to be,ā is the most surreal moment of my adult life.
This is fiction, fandom; itās not real, and not everyone makes a living off it. Itās a hobby, and itās supposed to be enjoyable. Once we step away from our computers and phones, no one knows us as so and so, writer or artist of Ship. Meanwhile, this person is making me out to be the worst human being alive, and it is absolute insanity to learn how deep it goes.
The twists and turns, the lies, the complete lack of reality, the delusion. Itās creepy and disturbing. And, through finding all of this out, I pieced together a pattern of behavior that this individual has:
When you do something they donāt like, they distance themselves, become cold and passive-aggressive, and hold themselves above you. You are no longer of use to them. They dangle their friendship and attention on a lure, hoping youāll bite, only to throw you back under.
Please understand that this is a dangerous thingāthis is not fandom dramaāthis is a dangerous individual, and the person with whom they choose to spend their time speaks volumes.
I will not share names or screenshots. Screenshots have been shared with the right people, and I will not make it a public spectacle. I also choose to protect the privacy of my friends and others involved in this, of which there are many.
I have been accused of forcing this individual to do things, hating them and their work, being extremely pushy and stressing them out, and that my server was unwelcoming and the people in it were unkind, and various other things. Small things that didnāt mean anything to me were taken extremely personally and made into more lies to make this person a victim.
Such as my preferred formatting for posting my fic links on tumblr. They did not respect it, even though I attempted to respect their formatting for posting their art numerous times earlier, but I was told not to stress about it and, you guessed itāaccused of forcing them to change things behind my back. Again, screenshots have been given to the right people.
This individual can delete everything, but we have our proof, as we have been gathering it. We will not publicly share anything, but if this individual decides to, we have the evidence to back it all up.
There were so many creepy and fucked up things that happened. I canāt list them without getting too personal, but please understand this person does not belong in our fandom.
They chase popular people, especially artists, to ācollectā them and lie to and manipulate their friends for sympathy. Their friends need to step away and see the light because they are being usedāitās not a real friendship. It is transactional.
And you should be offended. They will cast you aside when youāre useless to them, too.
If I seem mad, itās because I am. I have been dealing with this since August, when I realized that many of their comments were strange. I didnāt know those were red flags at the time. This individual pretends to be friendly and claims to be āthe nice oneā when things go wrong so they can keep their reputation. Interactions with them might seem harmless, but looking at them with a different scope makes them something far different.
Donāt ignore red flags or gut instincts.
This is my story, and it is not told exactly how I wish I could tell it. But I know this individual has hurt numerous other people. I was going to make this post without the ability to reblog, but I am leaving it open for now.
If you want to add your story, as I suspect many of you know who I am speaking of, please do. I ask that you avoid telling anyone elseās stories for them unless you have permission. Protect each other.
This stupid shit unites us. Iām not afraid anymore because Iām sick of watching my friends get hurt again and again.
This individual has befriended a known bully and transphobic person. I wonāt speak any further on this because it is not my story, but please bear in mind that they chose a TERF over trans friends. And we know what they say about association.
Blindsided victims of this individual are not at fault for this personās actions.
See something, say something. Terfs and bullies can GET FUCKED.
Share your story.
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