thedisappointedprincess

[thedisappointedprincess]

Today has been so annoying. I woke up too early because Sky, my cat, made noise. He makes noise almost every morning. And that's okay because we put him out in the night because he attacks our feet the whole night if we let him.

Daniel woke up and stopped me from opening the door for Sky. He told me that he will "take care" of the situation and that I should rest. Which was sweet. But, he spent most of his time in the toilet and Sky was left meowing the whole time.

So, I naturally woke up. Daniel has been annoying me since the past couple of days more so than how he usually does. But, I've been trying to keep cool. Last night he came home sweating and decided to wipe his sweat on me pretending to kiss. This would've been funny or cute if not for the fact that I already told him not to do it before.

Another instance was when I tried to turn on the geyser for having a shower, and went to have a bath, the hot water stopped midway. Turns out he turned the switch off. That had me come out in the middle of my shower to dry myself and again wait for the water to up so I could have my shower. When I finally was having my shower, he decides to pop in and ask "You are going to the shower now?! The geyser has been on the whole time!" Like, it is just so annoying.

And most of the times when he is at home, he does not make efforts to spend time with me. And when I try to confront him with that, he says that he spends a lot of time with me, taking me out and stuff. The truth is we hardly went out on dates in the last couple of months. It was always with his friends. And I most of the time feel weird because his friends are annoying. And I think he enjoys their company more than he does with me. I'm sure he will tell that it is not the case, but he just smiles so much more with them. He will also make every effort to go out with them. More so than he does with me. I have to literally create an issue out of us not going on dates for him to make time for us. He thinks he spends enough time with me because he takes me along whenever he meets his friends. But, I want to have one on one time with him!

Anyway, cut to today, after coming home, he went to the washroom like 4 times! He poops like all the time! It's not like oh I'm pooping once for 40-50 mins. It's like this everyday where he spends 2-3 times in the washroom. Does he find that spot a safe zone for him? I dot even know at this point.

He even forgot to turn on the exhaust after doing his deed. Also forgot to close the washroom door. The whole house was stinking! So bad. It took every ounce of my patience to not scold him. The whole time I was trying to deal with his poop stinking up the house, he decided to take rest in his room. I put Sky in the room with him. I had the windows and the door open so that the smell goes away. He decides to open the door right then. He knows we cannot let the doors and the windows be open with Sky in the house. Again, I was so disappointed in him, I was so frustrated. After all that, he decides to go to the washroom again.

After spending time in the washroom, he didn't bother to talk to me or ask me to do anything. He just went to his wardrobe and decided to organise his drawers. It was almost night by then. He then asks if I wanted to play a board game, and for which by then I was already tired and in no mood of doing so.

I thought I could use my laptop. But my laptop shut down and I couldn't charge it because Daniel decided to drop MY charger at his workplace and forgot to bring it back. It was the only charger we had because he lost my original one and had to replace it with his. Because of that I couldn't use my laptop the whole day.

Later, I found worms in the window sill. Most likely larves of some kind of moth. I had to take care of all of it, while Daniel decides to watch TV. I was googling and taking videos and he was still laying on the bed watching TV. When I asked him if I could use his phone to take a video of it so I could post it on social forums to get a confirmation on what it was, I asked him to send the original to my phone. He sent it in doc formand I had issues trying to use it and pot it online because reddit does not accept documents from Google to be directly shared. He decided to take it and mansplain me how things worked and was like "look it's all done", when in reality NOTHING was done. The same problem persisted. And I had to direct him what to do yo get the problem resolved. And he has an MBA and can't manage a simple problem. Ugh.

Anyway, Daniel has been getting on my nerves each day. I am holding it all in because he provides for me and Sky. Bit, I need him to do things or atleast say things that will soothe me. Be of more help and take charge or situation, or atleast help me in things that worry me. He just rests, poops and watches TV when things are bothering me. He just doesn't step up when I want him to.

[thedisappointedprincess]

I spend my days mostly looking into a screen for purpose. I scroll, scroll to find something that could move my soul. Either my soul is in a slumber or she decides not to see the sun.

What do I do awaken her?

I yearn, I burn for excitement, for movement, for wonder. It is almost like I am wishing to be part of another world. I am not sure how to be myself anymore.

I stay at home most of the times. Wait for my man to come home, to only find that nothing changes. Except I won't be alone with my thoughts.

Change is the nature of reality, yet when I lose something to gain another, there is nothing on the other side. I have lost interest in most things I loved. How do I get it back?

Mind you, I have love in life. My partner, and my little kitten have become my everything. I am something for them, maybe more so than what I am to myself.

Bring me passion, bring me excitement, bring me health, bring me strength, bring me everything I could ever desire.