theearthiwalkon

[theearthiwalkon]

I'm so glad this is real for both sides, my entire family was more shocked when I started dating a man in high-school than they were when I came out as trans

growing up as a closeted lesbian trans girl is so bizarre bc you really will leave everyone around you shocked and confused thinking why is that faggot straight

[theearthiwalkon]

I think I’m doing better?

[theearthiwalkon]

I think I’m doing better?

[theearthiwalkon]

spring is here, and unseasonably early at that. my tank, although flush with algae, is flourishing! at least that brings me some sense of purpose.

im not sure whats wrong with me. its not depression, ive been through that plenty of times before, even in the recent past. for some reason though, i feel..hungry? I guess?

hungry isnt quite the right word, i feel like im spending every day starving for something i cant identify. its the kind of starving that brings an animalistic ferocity and edge to my actions that im not proud of.

what am i missing??? how can i feed what i dont recognize??

[theearthiwalkon]

Woke up late but managed to salvage the day! I did laundry, worked on beadwork commissions, and decided to take a walk to enjoy the unseasonably warm weather.

Although it looks pretty gloomy, it helped pull me out of the funk I've been the past couple of days. I just hope it stays warm enough to make this a routine

[theearthiwalkon]

Restocked on fireline and was also asked to share a craft booth today! This would be the first time I'm actually setting up a small stall, which is both exciting and nervewracking

[theearthiwalkon]

Another keychain commission I made, and I loved the process of making this piece!! Traditional beadwork designs are always fun, but I've missed doing contemporary patterns.

[theearthiwalkon]

My planted tank! I've never worked with aquatic plants before, so this is my first foray, and I'm pretty pleased with the results so far!

Once it's cycled and I get a sponge filter in there, I'm thinking about adding some shrimp

[theearthiwalkon]

A keychain commission I just finished making. I feel like it could have turned out better, but the client loves it at least

[theearthiwalkon]

Plants acquired!

[theearthiwalkon]

Hopefully getting more plants for my tank todday!

[theearthiwalkon]

Set up a small planted tank to help keep my mind and hands occupied, so far it seems to be working.

I'll try to post a picture once the water clears up a little more

[theearthiwalkon]

i know i just have to keep going a little bit longer, but god why is it so hard?

[theearthiwalkon]

I feel like every day is spent just waiting to fall back asleep :/

[theearthiwalkon]

Things that used to come easily to me don't anymore.

I used to write short stories and make blog posts whenever I had free time, but now it feels like pulling teeth. Even when I remove all distractions, when I wander in search of inspiration, when I read words others have written in hopes of coercing my brain to do the same; the only thing I seem to be able to put to paper is my own lack of anything worthwhile to say.

While this isn't the first time in my life I've found myself in this position, it is the first time I've been stuck in this rut for so long. What to do? I've been rewatching old ghibli films to try and help myself out of it. At the very least, the nostalgia they invoke is certainly something.

[theearthiwalkon]

Very much feeling the midwinter blues, so I made comfort food and spent the day reading to cheer myself up

[theearthiwalkon]

Not sure what I want to use this for yet, but for any poor soul who stumbles along this bare-bones blog and decides to stick around for something grand: you will not find it, not here nor in the future. Unless you'd consider the online ramblings and possible hobby-updates of a stranger grand.

In that case, feel free to stick around