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Beyond the Surface

What on Earth had she been thinking? She couldn’t do this, she’d been crazy to ever think that she was cut out for any of this.

Clutching at the railings with a white knuckle death grip Jemima cries out, squeezing her eyes shut firmly as she continues to breathe rapidly through the pain. So much for all those fancy techniques she’d learned in those pregnancy classes, she could hardly think straight never mind remember to breathe at a certain rate. In her time of need it was all proving to be a bit useless, and if anything the classes had only made her more scared of it all to begin with. Not that she had ever dared to confess as much to Jamie, she couldn’t do that to him. As this latest contraction subsides she collapses back against the pillows her body reeling from exhaustion, sweat drenching her forehead as her bangs cling to it and her chest rises and falls with the effort it takes to regain her control. 

A nearby nurse dabs at her forehead with a damp cloth and Jemima can’t help but whimper a little with relief at the cooling rag against her fiery skin, she’d been at this for hours and she was truly starting to feel the toll on both body and mind. The steady pace that the nurses worked around her didn’t exactly reassure Jemima that it would be over any time soon either, instead she was lying alone in the hospital bed her body writhing as she feels the next contraction coming on. As soon as her waters had broken and the contractions had started hours beforehand it hadn’t been until the pain became too frequent that she had even called for the ambulance, though she hadn’t wanted to admit it at the time Jemima was sure she had been trying to delay all of this for as long as possible. Now she was very much running out of time.

Up to this point she had believed that getting into and through Harvard had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, but compared to this Jemima would happily take the bar exam ten times over. She had succeeded in her degree even with all of the mental trauma she carried from a childhood scorned by most of her family, it had made it incredibly easy for Jemima to turn her back on them after they lost the only tie that held them together in the departure, her mother. But now she was in this hospital room alone, she had gone above and beyond to make them all proud despite how little they cared for her and yet she had still been surprised when it had not been enough for them. Jemima had been fairly sure right from the start there was no way she could prove any different to her blood and be a good parent, she had been dreading this moment as soon as she had seen those two little lines appear on that pregnancy test. If it hadn’t been for Jamie’s elation and how much she truly loved him there was no way Jemima could have done any of this, but any hope that it would help her through the rest was starting to dwindle out. Neither of them had had big warm families full of love, would just the two of them be truly enough for this child?

With a groan her body tenses up under the latest bout of pain and for a second she remembers to do one of the breathing exercises, though she isn’t entirely sure it actually helps her at all. Somewhere in her consciousness she’s aware that one of the nurses is telling her she needs to get ready to push soon as another one disappears to grab the doctor, if it wasn’t feeling real before suddenly Jemima was very aware that she was lacking the willpower to go through with this. Her body was at breaking point, just the idea of pushing was making her more exhausted. In her delirium she must have spoken her fears aloud as one of the nurses, an older woman with a kind face, came over and gave Jemima’s hand a gentle squeeze, though it felt off as hers was covered by a stark blue latex glove. The woman’s attempt at reassuring her though kind wasn’t really having the desired effect, instead it was just yet another reminder of the seriousness of the situation Jemima found herself in.

At the same moment Jemima cries out from both the intensity of her labour and her utter frustration the door to her room swings open with a bang, she manages to catch a glimpse of Jamie still in uniform over in the doorway looking as out of breath as she feels before he dashes to her side. Her hand suddenly in his feels much more comforting than the nurses attempt, though she was sure her grip was on the verge of crushing his though he didn’t seem to mind. Somehow through this small gesture she was able to find her strength again in his, and looking up at the awe on his face reminded her why she was doing this. No matter how scary it was, this was for them. And then as if her heart couldn’t get any fuller her attention is drawn to the doorway once more as she doctor comes through, where she now spots Isaiah lingering in the doorway and already she knew Fern, Lois and Uriah wouldn’t be too far behind. It may not be a conventional family to offer to their child but Jemima who had been searching her whole life for people to love her as much as she loved them finally knew that she had found it here, she had stopped moving and set down roots when she truly had never expected it to happen. They were here as her friends, rather than colleagues or bosses. Jemima had finally found her family and suddenly it all felt a little bit less overwhelming. 

Now all she needed to do was push.

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Crimson Hands pt.2

As Fern raced towards the hanger her footfalls echoing from the walls all that she could think was that she should have tried harder, fought more against the decision to send him out on the mission so soon. Dalton would never be the one to do so, and Fern knew that was her fault too. In the interest of Dalton’s continued safety within the zone she had asked him not to rock the boat and keep the president happy by doing whatever she asked of them, and look where that had gotten him. Well in truth she didn’t quite know the full extent of the situation Dalton was in, but her mind certainly ran faster than her feet ever could. She knew it was bad, they wouldn’t have called her from the cavern otherwise, and that was enough to strike fear into the core of Fern’s already fragile heart. She couldn’t lose him again, and that was the last thought that crossed her mind as she dashed across the threshold into the vast expanse of the hanger.

Momentarily the blonde is rooted to the spot in the entryway, eyes rapidly scanning over the high ceiling and her seemingly endless surroundings. She’d always known of the hanger’s existence, everyone in the zone did as it was regularly mentioned in the president’s speeches of reassurance that they would withstand any attack, but seeing it was something completely different to someone who spent her days farming in the cavern. Odd looking tanks and fighter jets lined the stark walls, rows upon rows of weapons filled the space between with towers of bombs taller than Fern herself. Strangely it didn’t give her the same reassurance it had done for the past four years, but maybe that had something to do with knowing this would be Dalton’s future and clearly it was already working out well. 

Her thoughts interrupted Fern glances up at a commotion further up the aisle as rapid footsteps, loud panicked voices and the squeaking of wheels comes into view. She notices the red against the white stretcher first, the soldier it carries bleeding out isn’t one familiar to her and Fern offers a small prayer of thanks that it wasn’t Riley and that at least for now she knew he was safe. The only familiar face amongst the crew of medical staff already hard at work and soldiers clad in black creating their route was Alice, and if her face was anything to go by what had happened out there Fern had every right to be as concerned as she was. As they neared where she still stood rooted to the spot her eyes caught the pained  mechanical gaze of Dalton’s fellow hybrid and Fern’s heart instantly leaps in her chest, it was a look she recognised in Dalton. It’s only as the soldiers at the front of the group start shouting at her that Fern realises she’s in the way of the rapidly oncoming envoy and dashes to the side to let them pass with a gush of air, her hand reaches out and quickly gives Alice’s arm a squeeze in solidarity as she passes by in a blur.

And then she hears it, the pained screams of her baby brother that had become so familiar to her in the nights since his return and suddenly everything is running at hyper-speed. Snapped out of her daze Fern instantly takes off again in the direction that the group had appeared from only seconds ago, her own heartbeat and deep breaths now battling for supremacy in her ears. Rounding the corner at top speed she comes up against a wall of black clothed bodies and without a moments hesitation is shoving them aside to push herself through to the front, some turn to look at the petite blonde fighting her way through them in shock while others are too busy looking at the scene ahead of them to notice her. She doesn’t pay any of them any attention, getting to Dalton is her only concern at that moment. She had to get to him and help him through this, he needed her and nothing would stop her being there for him. As she finally breaks out through the other side after what feels like an eternity the scene unfolds before her, more medical staff linger amongst the crowd of battle worn soldiers staring into the back of the a second truck where Dalton remains screaming out in pain. Somewhere in her consciousness Fern is aware of Riley nearby and calling out her name, but she’s already up and in the truck by that point and then any other thoughts are pushed from her mind.

Falling to her knees by her brother’s side Fern gently reaches out her hand as she often did during the night to soothe Dalton in his nightmares, but as she does so his body recoils away from her with a cry. For a brief second she casts a glance back to where she know Riley is watching, waving him away with an uncharacteristic stern glance before he comes rushing to her aid when she knows she is in no danger. Even if Dalton did lash out in his fear she would endure it, she’d endure whatever she had to in order to help her brother when he needed her. Just like right now, she could worry about the hows and whys later on once Dalton was okay, first she had to help him get back to them the only way she knew how. Humming the tune of their lullaby she slowly reaches out her hand again so as not to startle him, brushing her fingers gently against his damp head just as she would during the night. “Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, lavender’s green...” she continues her soft administrations as she begins to sing the words their mother had sang to them as children, it had helped them feel safe and loved and more than anything that’s what Dalton needed after all he had been through. 

With relief Fern feels Dalton relax under her hand as the familiar lullaby breaks through his pain, his body releasing its tension and his crying ceasing into silence. Instead her own eyes leak mute tears as she watches life return to her brother, taking the hand that reaches out for her and squeezing it tightly as she continues to soothe him home. She was right there, letting him know that he was safe with her and she would remain kneeling in the back of the truck singing softly to him as long as he needed her to. Fern would put him back together piece by piece if that is what it took, and then she would deal with the president. “...we shall be safe, dilly dilly, out of harms way...” 

As the lullaby comes to its end she doesn’t move from her vigil, except to cast a glance backwards at the now empty space behind the truck. Where once a sea of black had been watching them now only stood Riley, his captain and the medical staff waiting she assumed to take Dalton on his own stretcher to be checked over. Honestly after getting on the truck she had all but forgotten there had been a gathered crowd at all, she had been reacting on instinct and hadn’t cared about anyone watching her sing. She would thank Riley later for dispersing the crowd and giving Dalton some privacy to recover, she knew instantly that he was responsible for that just as much as the dirt and blood that covered his face and uniform told her he was the one who had gotten Dalton back here safe. He was still keeping his promise to look out for Dalton, and she would be eternally grateful that he could do so in the moments when she couldn’t. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to thank him enough for that.

With a small nod of her head to the remaining onlookers all snap into instant action, the medical staff shifting the stretcher into position as Riley hops up onto the truck. With a tentative grasp the soldier picks up the teenager’s now limp body and with Fern still clutching tightly to his hand together they take him away from the truck and the pain that he had suffered there, carefully laying him out on the stretcher without much further incident. Regardless Fern wouldn’t be letting go of his hand any time soon, Dalton may have suffered alone both in the camp and on this mission but she would be by his side every step of the way so that he knew he wasn’t alone in this now and in their inevitable future.

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zone 13: the cyborgs

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

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Crimson Hands

It had been a requirement that came with his admittance into the Zone. The task of going out with the soldiers, to help in their battle against the robots. Considering he could in some part control them simply with his mind proved to be a great advantage to Zone 13. Dalton was promised safety, both by the other soldiers and by his dear sister Fern and her ‘friend’ Riley. So far they’d only needed him once, for a short trip to save a kidnapped soldier, it’d been easy, clean and effortless. Between himself and Alice there wasn’t much that could get close to them. So as Dalton walked somewhere in the middle of the group, Alice to his left and Riley close to his right, they ventured closer to where they all knew the robot compound to be. Dalton was, if nothing else, simply glad to be out of class for the day. He’d never exactly enjoyed school, and while he was rather smart, he didn’t really care to apply his intelligence in a classroom setting. In all honesty, he didn’t really have to try much either, considering the only reason the teenagers in the Zone studied so hard was to get into particular fields of work. At this point he was almost guaranteed to be a solider for the rest of his life, so why even try in school. Besides some of his fellow classmates were a pain to be around and he was thankful for the quietness that being outside the zone provided.

As they passed through the trees getting closer to the place Dalton once thought he’d never get out of. He couldn’t help the return of thoughts that used to spiral through his mind as he sat in the cage he called home. The idea that any day could be his last, that he’d never set foot outside again, that in that compound he’d die a slow and painful death. He remembered the friends he’d made and lost, the physical pain he’d suffered but more than that, the damaged he’d encounter mentally. The nightmares, the PTSD episodes, the panic attacks, the suffering they’d inflicted on him that would last a lifetime. Because while he escaped, and he could now use his robot technology to their advantage, it also had a hold of him. A part of himself that he couldn’t get rid of, a constant reminder of what he’d been through, marked upon his skin, ingrained in his mind. That was what he was afraid of. Hurting the people around him, hurting his sister. For so long he’d sat behind cool metal bars and thought she was dead. That’d he’d never see her again, and he grieved a lose he was so sure he’d had. Now that he had Fern back, now that they lived in the Zone, he almost wished the soldiers had never saved him. More than anything he felt like a burden, an extra responsibility that his sister really didn’t need. From keeping her up at night with the screams that escaped his mouth in the darkness, to getting in trouble at school, to no doubt the criticism she had to face from having a half robot brother. He never wanted any of that for her. He didn’t want the pain he went through, the suffering, the knowledge and image of everything they did to him, he didn’t want that to hurt her. But he knew that she loved him so dearly, that knowing everything they did to him, would slowly break her heart.

Refocusing himself on the task at hand they paused on the tree line seeing the compound far in the distance, as they soldiers gathered to formulate a plan. He wanted to focus but his eyes were glued to the building before them. If a building could talk, that place would say nothing, it would only vocalize the screams and sobs of it’s residence. The sleepless nights he had listening to the torture his friends endure, knowing in a few hours it would be his turn. Now they asked him to walk towards it once more, and he was beginning to wonder if he could really do that. Or would his legs crumble beneath him with the pure fear he felt even looking that direction. Riley placed a gently hand on his shoulder, drawing Dalton’s attention to the man. The boy himself didn’t entirely trust Riley, but he knew his sister did, so that was enough. And as Dalton’s eyes shifted to the body camera that sat on the older mans chest, he knew there was no other option here. On the other end of that feed were a group of people expecting a certain amount from him, and if he didn’t meet those expectations who knew what would happen. So Dalton pushed forward as he was commanded moving into the open field, his feet reluctantly dragging towards the compound.

It was then that out of nowhere a cloud of dust appeared from both sides of the group, dust that quickly settled and revealed the group of robots that closed in on them. Dalton froze, he heard Alice command the robots to stop and as he opened his mouth to do the same a piercing sound filled the air. The robots had discovered a way to counteract Alice and Dalton’s abilities. Dalton’s body fell limp as he used all his energy to clamp his hands over his ears. His screams filled the air, it was a pain he’d never experienced before. And that was really saying something after what he’d been through. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t see anything, all he knew was it felt like his brain was being electrocuted and set on fire all at once. He curled into a ball on the floor, barely catching breath between his screams of pure anguish. He couldn’t feel his body, he didn’t know he was being dragged away, he could feel the hands upon his arm pulling him back. Whoever was on the other end of those soldier feeds were getting one hell of a show.

It felt like an eternity of pain, like it would never end and his throat was coarse from the screams that continued to come. They’d dragged him back to the truck, and Riley had laid him down on the bench before dragging everyone else in. And it was only as they drove away, and got out of range that the pain stopped. And for a split second he melted into the bench, and felt a sense of relief wash over him. That peace lasted no longer than a few seconds as he felt the altered parts of his brain malfunction. Still with no sense of where he was, he felt the memories of that place wash over him, as they projected themselves on the roof of the truck. The soldiers watched on at the images playing before them, and it was the darkest parts of Dalton that he never wanted anyone to see. Now it was being recorded for the rest of time.

Dalton laid there almost lifeless, his eyes shut as he were sleeping, and the memory played on as if it were a movie none had paid to see. It was Dalton in his cell, waking to see the face of his best friend in the cell next door. They whispered to him, but he couldn’t quite make out the words. So he crawled closer pressing his head to the bars between them, he could barely make out the words they spoke. They begged for his help, and it was only then that Dalton saw the crimson puddle that they sat in, the pale colour of their skin and the various other signs that told him they were dying. The sobs began to come, both in the memory and in that truck. He held out his hand through the bars of that prison and locked it with his friends. “I’m so sorry” he whispered. He couldn’t do anything, he’d never felt so helpless. He could feel the coldness of their skin, he could see the light fading from their eyes, and he begged them to stay. He begged them to live, to hold on, to fight. But they were gone, and he laid holding his friend through those prison bars, pleading with a higher power above to bring them back to him.

The projection went black, the soldiers were quiet, all that could be heard was Dalton’s soft sobs for the dear friend he had lost. If they thought it was the end they had no idea, the projection flickered back to life. An image of Dalton strapped down, his head bound to the chair, and the sound of machinery whirling around him. The chatter of people was quick over the various screams that could he heard from rooms next door. Someone walked towards him, the woman Dalton assumed ran this whole thing. He couldn’t make out what she was saying, her voice was muffled as if he was underwater and he couldn’t make out anything past the white noise. He paused, trying to take in his surrounds but his mind was hazy. He felt a prick on his arm, that quickly turned into a pain, that grew rapidly with intensity. His speak was slurred and slow as he tried to express that he was in pain and they needed to stop. He heard the machines fire up, he could feel how close it was to the side of his head. And before he could really comprehend of prepare himself for what came next he felt it pierce into the side of his head. He tried to move, his body thrashed against the restraints but nothing gave. And as he thrashed in the truck, Riley moved to stop him from hurting himself, as he called his name trying to bring Dalton back. It was a moment later that the screams came again, pain vibrated through his body like lava in his veins. He wanted to pass out but his body couldn’t rest for a moment to allow that to happen, he felt every inch that they drilled into his brain. He saw the sadistic laughter of the people that stood around him, he saw them taking advantage of the pain he was already in by branding him. Taking another machine and scrolling numbers into his forearm, it felt like they were tearing his skin off altogether. And with that the projection went blank again, Dalton’s body falling limp once more.

Riley commanded that they get to the Zone and fast, not knowing if any more projection would come or what they were physically and mentally doing to Dalton’s body experiencing this all over again. The soldiers sat in disbelief of what this kid had gone through, and people in command shifted uncomfortably under the reality of what really happened in that compound. They neared the Zone, when one last projection came to life. “It’s not taking a hold on his brain, I don’t know what else I can do” a voice was heard, the image appeared, Dalton looking across the room at his friend. A friend he’d had since childhood, who was kidnapped alongside him that day, and every since they’d been each other’s rock and saving grace. His friend was surrounded by a few people, all looking him over as if he was a mannequin in a store and they were wondering if they should buy that outfit. “Get him up” the woman commanded, her minions dragging Dalton’s friend from the chair and into the middle of the room. “Him too” she said, pointing his direction, the men came over and pulled Dalton from his own chair moving him over to stand before his friend. “Well Garrett if your brain isn’t strong enough to hold our technology you have no use here. So Dalton here is going to finish you off.” Dalton froze in place, surely she hadn’t said that, surely this wasn’t happening. He wouldn’t let it, he wasn’t going to allow them to hurt his friend. He began to protest before he felt a hand grab his wrist and a knife forced into his grip. “Try to turn that on me or any of my men and we’ll make sure you both die a slow and very very painful death you hear me” she spoke, her words laced with venom as they passed her lips. “I’m not going to hurt him” Dalton spoke, hellbent on the knowledge that this was his last living friend and he would anything to save him. “Then I’ll kill you” she said. It sparked a fear in Dalton as he looked to his friend, a boy he’d known in his innocence, as they’d ride their bikes home from school, or play pirates in each other’s backyards. He’d known Garrett in a simpler life, without all this pain, without this evil. And there was nothing that made Dalton’s life more valuable than Garrett’s. “Then that’s what you’ll have to do” Dalton spoke back, drawing his eyes back to the woman before him. She was quick to draw her gun and aim it between Dalton’s eyes. “You sure about that?” she said. Dalton stood up a little taller, raised his chin a little higher and nodded. That confidence was quickly shredded to nothing as he felt the swift clasping of hands around his wrist and jerk of his arm forward. His gaze darted down, Garrett’s hands wrapped around his own and the knife nestled deep into the others torso. “What did you do?” Dalton said in disbelief, his hand releasing from the knife, as he tried to catch his friends falling body. “I couldn’t let it be you” Garrett mumbled, his body crashing into Dalton’s. Dalton’s eyes darted from the knife that still sat in his friends chest, to the blood that now covered both of them and everything around them. “No, this isn’t happening. Somebody get some help!” he shouted, looking at the faces around him, but nobody moved an inch. “It’s okay, everything’s going to be find man, don’t even worry about it” he said quickly, shaky hands pulling out the knife and throwing it away and grabbed a rag and held it over the wound applying pressure. “You’re going to be fine” Dalton knew it wasn’t true, but he had to believe if only for a moment that he could fix this. That his friend hasn’t just died at his hand. But reality sank in as he felt Garrett’s body grow heavier, as his eyes closed and his skin got ice cold. “Come on man, stop being stupid, get up” Dalton pleaded through teary eyes. “Get up Garrett” he said again, tears beginning to fall, as he felt his heart plummet and shatter all at once. “Please, get up. Please” he begged his breath hitching as he choked back sobs of grief. Slowly Dalton’s head fell to meet Garrett’s chest, the sobs growing more violent as they took over his body. Tears now a stream from his eyes and he collapsed into his friends body, wishing it was him. The projection went dark as they pulled into the zone and the gates closed behind them.

Dalton, a seventeen year old boy, his body curled tight on a bench in the back of the truck, hugging his knees to his chest as his whole body thrashed with the most painful sobbing you’d ever heard in your life. Breath escaping him, as he choked on his grief trying to catch some air. Tears flowing from his eyes, he didn’t know where he was, he didn’t know who he was with, all he knew he was in a prison of his own mind. If the robot alliance had gotten him once more, there was nothing more damaging they could do to him, that they hadn’t already done. He wept, he wailed, his whole body was in physical pain from the grief he’d just relived. The back of the truck doors were opened, the soldiers getting out as medical stood looking in. Nobody said anything, nobody knew what to say. He was just a kid, a seventeen year old kid that should be worried about his grades and how he’s going to impress his crush. But they found him broken in the back of the truck, and nobody really knew if he could be put back together.

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zone 12: flynn & sabrina

a ship through the ages

11 yrs. & 10 yrs. 16 yrs. & 15 yrs. 24 yrs. & 23 yrs.

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zone 13: hal & marnie

I've made mistakes and I've let you down Been young and stupid, I see it now I'm startin' over with tears in my eyes All that I'm askin' is one more try

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the leftovers: lawson & angie

you save everyone, but who saves you?

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the leftovers

you give me a reason

something to believe in

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zone 13: maxwell and alice

can you teach me how to feel real?

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zone 13: charlotte and malcolm

how horrible it is to love something that death can touch

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The Leftovers: Jamie & Jemima

You got a way with words Everybody knows it Your voice is like a gun Every word is loaded, baby And yet the ones you love See behind the curtain (see behind the curtain) You try to shut me up I wait for the explosion

You devastate like hurricanes And all you have to do is leave the room You break me down to lowercase The capitals you take for only you

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