theelectriclizard

[theelectriclizard]

to be honest I think working on a sewing machine strains my eyes as much as being on a computer does. However, I am incentivized to remain alert and focused by keeping my fingers within stabbing distance of a needle making 60 stitches per minutes.

[theelectriclizard]

(trying to give relationship advice) from a narrative perspective i think both of you dying together would be the most emotionally satisfying resolution but i’m guessing that’s not what you want to hear

[theelectriclizard]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[theelectriclizard]

stop earning advanced degrees i need you to finish your fanfiction

[theelectriclizard]

Can the pope continue to vote in American elections. Can popes vote. I assume you cannot vote in the US if you’re the head of another state but I’m just asking funny questions here

[theelectriclizard]

[theelectriclizard]

Your friends watching something for the first time and getting to that scene VS you, the knower.

[theelectriclizard]

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

[theelectriclizard]

I was reading this fic, where there’s a scene where Sam teaches Bucky to cook, and for some reason I seriously thought he was just forgoing the spatula for his hand.  It makes sense, if you think about it. 

Also, I really like fics where Bucky is kind of weird and robotty, and doesn’t really know how to function like a human being. 

[theelectriclizard]

that helicopter scene from civil war with my heart will go on as music

so i saw something like this almost two years ago but i couldn’t find it again when i wanted to show it to a friend so i made it myself.

[theelectriclizard]

i learned that actor Danny Trejo has the most on-screen deaths of anyone in Hollywood history, with 65. Followed by Christopher Lee (60), Lance Henriksen (51), Vincent Price (41), Dennis Hopper (41), Boris Karloff (41), and John Hurt (39). (x)

[theelectriclizard]

me watching 'gratuitous' sex and violence and ''problematic representation'' in my shows and movies made for adults

[theelectriclizard]

There you are, innocently eating tapas at a restaurant, when you hear boss fight music behind you:

(He'll have the Caesar salad, gracias.)

This 10 meter tall statue of Augustus looms over Puerta Cinegia Gastronómica, a dining/shopping mall in Zaragoza, Spain. Augustus founded the town as Caesaraugusta (hence Zara-agoza) over 2000 years ago as a colony for veterans of the Cantabrian Wars, and many Roman ruins are still visible. I now want to visit Zaragoza.

[theelectriclizard]

[theelectriclizard]

was reminded of that youtube channel that records footage of that bridge that scalps trucks today. one of the fascinating developments that's happened since i last heard about it is that, in one of their many attempts to stop the trucks from being can-opened, they installed a traffic light that detects when a vehicle that's over the allowed height is coming and turns red so the driver can stop and hopefully notice the signage all around that's screaming "YOUR VEHICLE IS OVERHEIGHT TURN AROUND" and avoid an accident. However as a result sometimes drivers see the light turning yellow and IMMEDIATELY start flooring it to avoid having to stop, ensuring that the roof of their truck just gets fucking annihilated instantly. Really beautiful stuff you should check it out

[theelectriclizard]

Everyone gives Sherlock Holmes a hard time about being mean about Watson's writing, but honestly imagine you told your roommate "sure, you can write up an account of my work for the newspaper," thinking it would be like, about the murder, but then he publishes it and it's 90% about you, as a person, and it's a huge hit and now everyone in London knows that you hoard newspapers and do cocoaine when you're depressed. Because I think you'd be little miffed too.

[theelectriclizard]

Best one shot I've ever read lmao