thefailcollection - Tumblr blog

[thefailcollection]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

[thefailcollection]

eveeyones got it wrong your mid 20s arent for going to the club or partying or picking up new crafts. your 20s are for discovering how much more autistic you are than you thought you were in high school

[thefailcollection]

[thefailcollection]

[thefailcollection]

It's stupid that bread goes bad so fast. Bread should last ten million years on your countertop. You should be able to feed yourself off the same loaf of bread from the day you are born to the day you die. They should pass down bread between generations like a family heirloom. There should be remnants of still-good bread after the heat death of the universe.

[thefailcollection]

the story of kfc fucks me up man. the colonel founded this gas station that expanded to restaurant, the chicken at the restaurant gets popular, makes KFC, it gets big and he sells it to a corporation for a lot of money. realizes he got sorta scammed out of the true worth of kfc so tries to get more money and they refuse and the courts side against him. then he starts a new chicken restaurant claiming the corporate people were not making chicken to his standards and kfc sued him because kfc owned the colonel's likeness and the courts agreed. a corporation owned this man's name and appearance. he wasnt allowed to use either, thus legally erasing his reputation making it harder for him to get taken seriously in any food venture. the man, to the day he died, was going into kfc's and throwing fits because the food had fallen into such bad shape he hated it was associated with him. and it's like, whether he's a bad man or a good man or whatever, a corporation owned his identity, stopped him from using his reputation and identity in other businesses, and refused to acknowledge his outrage that they changed his recipes and still attributed it to him. this is literally the obnoxious plot of a jay and silent bob movie, but it was this dude's real life. what the fuck.

[thefailcollection]

Feather River Bulletin, Quincy, California, March 20, 1924

[thefailcollection]

my middle aged client going off about kids these days and how they have such a different childhood and back in the day kids used to have real experiences like how she and her girl friends used to practice kissing on each other and now kids just sit in the same room in silence on their damn phones. hey ma'am run that back real quick

[thefailcollection]

self portrait

[thefailcollection]

Being on Tumblr from ten years ago until now and seeing how it's aged is so funny. When I first got here everything was like "haha lol so random, superwholock, taquitos, tumblr university!" but today I just scrolled past three different memes about tax season

[thefailcollection]

i stay up late to be happy for a few more hours

[thefailcollection]

The fact that Tesla autopilots abort self driving 1 second before a crash so the company can state “self driving wasn’t active during the collision” should be grounds to dismantle the entire company.

Like, seriously, if you’re making 4000 pound death machines, and you program this shit to work on a technicality? Your company should be dismantled. Gone. No recourse. Just terrible shit dude

[thefailcollection]

Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".

[thefailcollection]

regulus: you will marry me

james: um, isnt it meant to be—

regulus: did i fucking stutter?

[thefailcollection]

he’s got that previously neglected shelter dog rizz. he looks like he wants to quietly sit next to you on the couch while you watch TV

[thefailcollection]

James hyping up Reg the entire time he's trying to become an animagus but the second it works and he turns into a massive lion he's devastated that he's been out-done

The first thing he says is 'WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THAT FAIR??'

Then he realises how funny it is that his Slytherin bf has the most gryffindor animagus possible and gets over it

[thefailcollection]

Cause the walls were shaking the earth was quaking

You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC for casfucker 

I changed my pen’s nib so apparently I paint differently now.