thefirstlesson

[thefirstlesson]

THE FIRST LESSON

Ben Solo opened one eye, then his other, finding himself in complete darkness. He sat up quickly, patting his hands down his chest, feeling solid enough, in his opinion anyway. He pulled lightly at the off-white fabric of the shirt he wore, wondering who had changed his clothes, and when. “Okay…” he said warily to himself as he climbed to his feet, holding his hands out from him with caution. 

“You want to know where you are,” a calm voice said from behind him. 

Ben spun on his heel to face the stranger that addressed him. “Good guess,” he said, sarcasm heavy in his tone.

The man before him smiled, laughing softly as he lowered his head, taking a few steps forward. “You’ve got spunk. I’ll give you that.”

“I don’t want anything from you--not even conversation,” Ben said, narrowing his eyes as he looked around him for anything to tell him where he was, or which way to go, but he found only simply a dark plane as far as the eye could see. “How did we get here?”

“Well…” The man before him held his arms out from his sides in a slight shrug as he blew out a breath. “We died.”

Ben snickered, raising his eyebrows as he propped his hands on his hips. “You’re a funny guy. Anybody ever told you that?”

“Not often, no,” the man said, lightly scratching the back of his neck. “I’m afraid it’s true. We’re dead.”

Ben took in a deep breath as he frowned, looking down to his shoes as he thought about that for a moment. “Nah, I don’t buy it for a second. If I was dead I’d be one with the Force, and this doesn’t look like a place of peace and enlightenment. This looks like the inside of Hux’s head--dark and empty.”

“What do all padawans learn first, before any other lesson?” the man asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Ben said with a shrug before scratching his head. “I guess...Trust the Force?”

The man nodded once, seeming to study Ben carefully. “Trust the Force, yes. Why do you think that is?”

Ben shifted his feet, considering the man’s question. “The Force is never wrong. If we listen, and follow the path of the light, the Force will never abandon us.”

“That’s exactly right. Your master taught you well,” the man said quietly. 

“Pfft...For the most part. We didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things,” Ben drawled. 

The man took a deep breath, sighing it back out again. “I’m aware. Luke was wrong about you, and in the end he knew that. Don’t blame him, though. He had a doozy of a father.”

There was something in the man’s tone that stuck on something in Ben’s mind, and he furrowed his brow. “Who the hell are you?”

“Ben...I’m your grandfather,” Anakin said, raising his eyebrows.

“You’re Vader,” Ben asked skeptically. “I always imagined that you’d be taller.”

 “I always imagined that I’d die with all four limbs intact, but life’s full of surprises.” Anakin shrugged a shoulder. “I was Darth Vader--at least I believed that I was, for a very long time.” 

“So, I guess I am dead…That’s just great. Where are we, though? Some in-between for Jedi that fell to the Dark Side but got better?” Ben turned in a slow circle, shaking his head. “There’s nothing here.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Anakin said, moving to stand next to Ben. “This is a place where there’s everything, all at one time.”

“This doesn’t feel like a nexus,” Ben said, eyeing his grandfather suspiciously. 

Anakin squinted one eye as he tilted his head, leaning back just slightly. “You know how it is when you say a word so many times that it loses meaning, and it just turns into noise?”

“Yeah…” Ben said, uncertainty in his tone. 

“That’s what this place is. Noise so loud that it’s silent. Light so bright that it’s dark,” Anakin said, his tone wistful. 

“So this is it? Look, I don’t mean to complain--and I made a lot of my own luck--but this doesn’t feel very fair, if you get me,” Ben said, holding a hand up to gesture around him. 

“It isn’t fair,” Anakin said with a pointed look in Ben’s direction. “What does that mean, then?”

Ben scoffed loudly, running a hand through his hair. “You’re worse than Uncle Luke.”

“I can’t give you all of the answers,” Anakin said with a slight smile. 

“Why not?” Ben asked with an arch of his brow. 

Anakin pressed his lips together, resting his hands on his hips. “It’s more fun for me this way.”

Ben looked at his grandfather aghast, leaning away from him. “Well, isn’t that just lucky for me? Sheesh.”

“If this isn’t a fair reward for you, then what does that mean?” Anakin pressed. 

“The Force is always fair, and it’s never wrong. So it has to correct this somehow, which seems a little impossible given the fact that I died,” Ben said, frustrated. “The Force doesn’t just bring people back to life.”

“Think of why you died--how you died.” Anakin said, clapping a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “What happened?”

“I was on Exegol. We were confronting Palpatine, and then he blasted me into this crater. Rey--” Ben’s eyes widened slowly as he remembered. “Rey was on the ground. She was so still, and I knew that she was gone. I held her--the first and only time I ever got to--and I kept thinking, ‘What do I do?’ I thought, at first, if I got her off of Exegol that she’d come back--she would fade back into my life as she had before...But I was hurt, and could barely walk, myself, so that was out. I just stared at her, begging her to breathe, blink, be alive again, but she just got colder. So I held her there, feeling her drifting as she tried to leave me.

“So I thought, ‘What would Rey do?’ Rey was always stronger than me. No matter how much control I had over the Dark Side of the Force, or how important I thought I was, she sure could call my number. She never gave up, and I wouldn’t give up on her. Rey used the Force to heal me, and I would heal her, no matter what it took. And I did. I got to see the light in her eyes again. Wonder of all wonders, she smiled at me and said my name and then…” Ben stared into an empty layer of space, raising his fingertips to hover just in front of his lips. “Then I was free falling, and...I woke up here.”

Anakin hummed low in his throat, nodding once. “You saved Rey’s life, in exchange for what life you had left in you. I’m proud of you. One of us Skywalker men finally got it right.”

“You’re pr--You--” Ben sputtered, looking around as though there was anyone else present to confirm that he was, in fact, not hearing things.

“I am proud. We all are. It’s time for you to get your reward, Ben Solo,” Anakin said, disappearing in the blink of Ben’s eyes. 

“Wha--Wait just a kriffing second! How do I get outta here?” Ben called, tilting his head back. “Wish really hard?”

Anakin’s voice came from all around him, echoing through the nexus. “Think of Rey. Trust the Force.”

“Alright, so wishing it is,” Ben grumbled before closing his eyes. He pictured Rey’s face, smiling at him brightly. I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand. He could hear her say it as clearly as if she was still next to him. He reached for his connection with her, and the air around him felt charged, then impossibly warm. Warm like the desert, and then he did feel sand against his face, his eyes snapping open as the wind whipped his hair. He was standing in front of the old Skywalker home on Tattooine, no longer in the nexus. Warm light shone from the entryway, but Ben knew that Rey wasn’t there. “No, she’s--” 

“Ben?” Rey asked softly, her voice catching.

“She’s behind me,” Ben said, turning slowly to face her, a smile growing on his face. “Sorry I’m late. Got a little turned around on my way here.” Tears welled in Rey’s eyes as she ran towards him, her hair flying behind her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as her body crashed into his, and he lifted her up off of the ground as he held her tightly. “I’m happy to see you, too.”

Rey took his face into her hands, kissing him hard on the lips for a moment before drawing back to look into his eyes. “I thought I’d never see you again, but you never really felt gone. I couldn’t understand it.”

“I’ll explain everything as soon as I understand it myself,” Ben said, widening his eyes. He set her back on her feet, holding out his hand for hers. “Show me around?”

“Welcome home, Ben Solo,” she said, sliding her hand into his as she smiled up at him. 

Ben leaned down to kiss her on the temple. “Yeah,” he said with a happy sigh. “Home.”