theforesttrolls-blog

[theforesttrolls-blog]

Episode 3: Timeskip

Time heals all wounds. Perhaps such might be the case among those with time to spare, but in the world of Tamriel, not all are quite so lucky. And as luck would have it, the ill-fated always write their final thoughts on parchment beforehand, so you can read of their torture and slow deterioration into a werewolf. Funny... when I, The Dentist Free, took this job, never did I think I would follow this ragtag group of Trolls for longer than a few months. Yet here we are.

How awkward. Mama Free, keep the home fires burning. _____________________________________________ Not much has changed since my last update. Jerakyn is still the defacto lead of the group, though there have been some departures such as the Orcish shaman Ramzed, and the slackjawed Matoks. However, Gerald Epsin has been seen as recently as last month, complaining about platform heights in the Daggerfall capital Wayrest. There are also a couple new recruits to floss through. Flossing is healthy for your gums. zarpoi: A young, very attractive, hot and bothered orc female from lands unknown. She is much like her comrades on Betnikh though, quite the warrior, always eager to prove her strength in duels. Perhaps it is true what they say about orc blood, even Ramzed, god rest his soul, had a fiery temper and once called a passerby a “gay fucking faggot”. It is not known what those words mean in any of the Tamrielic languages, but we can only assume it to be an ancient curse. Nonetheless, there will always be an Orc among the Forest Trolls it seems, and Zarpoi seems to constantly want to better herself in the fires of battle. Much like gingivitis on a loose tooth. Worf the Eternal: This furry lad seems to have taken the place of the former Gildelon. Though they are both similar in color, race, and attitude, one seems to enjoy eating much more food than the other. That would be Gildelon, who seems to munch close to as many sweetrolls as Jerakyn himself. While at this point I’m unaware of what makes him eternal, I am certain I saw another khajiit warrior slay him in a duel to the death... and his soul wandering about before his body moved once more. Troubling magics are afoot, no doubt. Glengary: Glenn, or to his closer friends “Gary”, seems to have all the characteristics of a man on a mission. Inquiry, determination, ego, and most importantly a talent for slaying Daedra. Whatever his goal is, though, seems to be a mystery even to himself. Perhaps he suffered from some sort of blow to the head, making him speak slowly, and get agitated easily, allthewhile in a hearty pursuit of some forgotten goal. Perhaps something may happen in the future to trigger it, we will have to see. ____________________________________________ Whilst out on an evening stroll, in full disguise mind you, I happened across a strange scene. A woman picking flowers. This may not seem so strange at first glance... but when I walked a few steps further and caught a glimpse of what lay behind her, obstructed...

____________________________________________ To wrap this entry up, the future looks bright for the Trolls. Bright as Auri’El shining down on the islands of Summerset, brighter than my own teeth. Also, an apology for the readers of this journal. I know many of you nearly gave up on ever seeing a glimpse into the dangerous and mysterious Forest Trolls ever again. As for why it took so long, well, I think Reniaz can explain better than I ever could.

[theforesttrolls-blog]

Episode 2: Trolling the Desert

“The next emperor, eh?” Jerakyn had wondered aloud, amidst slurps of sucking down Pirate’s Jig Tonic. He had wandered off then, leaving the poor trapped citizen trapped in his spell in the bottom of the cavern. Greetings, and welcome to the second installment of the Forest Trolls. I am the Dentist Free, and for the last several days I had followed around Jerakyn, the portly, lazy, somewhat assholish leader of the Forest Trolls. Mama Free always taught me if you ever want to get the real scoop on a story, make sure you pretend to be a Dentist, and follow the head of the organization. I hope I’ve made her proud. The following is dedicated to her, in the great awkward Dentist conversation in the sky.

Perhaps Jerakyn himself had some lost ones to pray to at the local Ab-Ad-Abu-Dali’ahbahkh temple out in Northeast Alik’r. After his recent dungeon adventure, leaving an innocent to die, he had immediately come here, to sit in quiet contemplation at the back of the room for nearly two hours. What was he thinking, I wonder? Was he praying for a fallen Forest Troll? Family? We may never know.

In time, however, he had finished his prayers and moved down the old sandy steps of the temple, only to walk into this man. PyGamer, a local beggar took to the temple in his time of need, fell to the ground as the fatass bumped into him. They exchanged words briefly, before leaving the temple Jerakyn in lead. I managed to catch a small exchange between the two, it would appear the Forest Trolls had acquired a new recruit. With the full support of Py behind him, Jerakyn quickly grew tired of conversing, and went off to a local firepit...

Where he proceeded to make (and eat) lots of food for the entirety of the night. His face grew pale and eyes turned beet red before I lost interest in watching him eat cake. I had turned to leave, then. Jerakyn was quite simple in his actions, it would appear. It all came back to making and eating food, I had barely caught him interact with any other troll in my time following him this week. His conversation with Py was the only time in which I heard him converse to another, in fact. It was then that I decided to journalism the Forest Trolls mailbox. What I saw... astounded me. It was a letter sent from Jerakyn to Gildelon.

There is still much to learn.

[theforesttrolls-blog]

Episode 1: The Trollering

Letters. An innocent enough start to the would-be Forest Trolls, a rag-tag group of bandits drawn together by the three-nations-war threatening to plague all of Tamriel. Their humble beginnings of ransacking the caravans of the Frost Guard were nothing more than a distant memory now, as their conquest began in full. The following is my chronicling of the adventures of this small band, their adventures, rises, and falls. I am the Dentist Free, and I present to you, the Forest Trolls. The story begins on the small island of Betnikh, where Ramzed, an Orc Shaman, but moreso a good man, felt threatened by the scornful eyes of his own kin. Feeling a sense of loneliness he never expected in such a place, he wrote letters home, detailing his time spent on Betnikh. It seemed the orcs were troubled by foul spirits plaguing their lands, and felt honor-bound to confront them. Klustin really had an itch for carrots, I hope he got some.

Jerakyn, the defacto leader of the Forest Trolls, did get some. Quite a lot, actually, as he developed quick a nasty habit of scavenging through old barrels and crates for discarded vegetables and grains. Before joining the Forest Trolls, he had big dreams of owning a big restaurant, eating food, and making it big. Though he claimed it was to work on his gains, the other Trolls did not believe him. Above is Jerakyn sampling a taste of his famous Kelp Kaven. I managed to get a word with the troll, asking him how it tasted.

“Food mgnh”, he replied.

Soon after Jerakyn had finished in his kitchen, he received word from fellow Troll Gerald Epsin, a cheeky lad from the sands of Alik’r, that their dear friend Ramzed had returned from his diplomacy mission in Betnikh. They met up with their director of operations, Matoks (whose teeth may need some work, NTS), in preparation to meet Ramzed on the docks. Word of war traveled with Ramzed on that very ship, however, and the Trolls made their first scouting mission into the dangerous world of warcraft, in Cyrodil. After aligning themselves with the Daggerfall Covenant, with fingers crossed behind their backs, they were given swift and immediate escort to the battlefield. Pictured above is the band preparing to freakin’ ambush anyone who made an advance to the North keep. They thought they were pretty cool. After a small skirmish against famed warriors Pker and Nser, the trolls regrouped, confidence in their steps, knowing they had felled the mighty foes. “We’re the flippin Forest Trolls!” Gerald had said then, quite cheekily. The trio nodded in silent agreement as the little faggot danced around like a monkey. After a brief farewell, they parted ways, Jerakyn and Ramzed travelling the same road long enough to have a serious conversation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ramzed: Jerakyn, I need to discuss something serious with you... Jerakyn: What is it? Ramzed: I don’t think Gildelon is as dedicated to that cause as most of the guild members are, and it really concerns me. Jerakyn: Aye, me as well... surely we can convince him to... Ramzed: We can try, but I’m afraid he will just have another flimsy excuse up his sleeve. Pardon me for suggesting this, but... I think we have to kill him. Jerakyn (Obviously shocked): I agree... but how do we kill him? Ramzed: I’m not sure. Jerakyn: Wait, I have an idea. But first, we’ll need a pair of ears, some beef, and a league of legends skin. Could you collect these for me? Ramzed: Yes, I will retrieve these for you. Where might they be? Jerakyn: i don’t know... but I’ll mark them on your map anyways, huhuhuhu. Ramzed: Tell me more about the Forest Trolls. Ramzed: Goodbye. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soon after departing from his friends, Jerakyn sent out a small invite to other local mercenaries in the region to join the Forest Trolls, detailing his plans for the future, explaining his desire to be crowned king of all Tamriel. He always did fancy crowning. Devalton and Mephistess both sounded somewhat interested, but no messenger came with any follow-up from the pair. Jerakyn shook his head and moved on, ready to face the challenges of the Alik’r. More undead... will they ever learn, he wondered?