thefreshnewlife-blog - Tumblr blog

[thefreshnewlife-blog]

Let’s Refresh

So i’ve been meaning to start a blog and figured why not use tumblr for that. So i’m using this to kind of share my story.

   Let’s go back about six years. My mom and I moved from Texas to Michigan, where she married her high school sweetheart. I went to an alternative high school for four years and got my CNA at the local technical center. I met, who i thought at the time was my forever. We started dating in 2015 and everything was great... sorta... beginning of 2017 i came across some information. He had been inappropriately messaging a girl. i found out and didn’t speak to him for about a week. He came to me and proposed and said he never wanted to live without me. We go engaged January of 2017. That incident never left my mind and took the trust out of the relationship. I was constantly checking his phone going through his messages. I lost all of my trust with him. From the start of 2017, i knew that i should have left. I should have not gotten back into the relationship. I was so mentally and emotionally destroyed because of that, i had the most unhappy final year of my relationship. I kept telling myself that i could talk him into moving somewhere new and leave all my problems behind. But unfortunately he is so dependent on his mom he never wanted to leave. Which leaves me to believe that he will always be a momma’s boy. I know it’s a horrible thing to say but he never wants to go and try something new. He’s so terrified of change. Which was the breaking point.

    About five months ago, i went on vacation and by myself drove from Michigan to Texas and then to Tennessee to visit my dad and then back to Michigan. I enjoyed the scenery of Tennessee so much i wanted to move. I had brought up the idea of moving to Tennessee to my fiance at the time a couple years back, so he knew i still wanted to go. That being said, we went through looking for jobs for him and even found a nice house to rent in Tennessee. He led me to believe that he wanted to move. He said yes to everything until it became real. Then said no. It was heartbreaking. I held it in for 2 years that i wanted to break up. It became so unbearable that i wasn’t myself. I was in such a toxic relationship but kept telling myself that it wasn’t. So by August of this year i decided to finally make the decision to move and leave my relationship. I moved at the beginning of September.

  One of the last days in Michigan i got close to a friend. We are now doing a long distance relationship. Now, i know what you’re thinking, “you just got out of a 3 year relationship and you’re already in a relationship?” Yes i know however, in my mind i had left that relationship for two years. We’ve only been in this relationship for a couple months but i’m the happiest i’ve been in so long. I forgot what it’s like to feel wanted and desired. To be treated like a queen and to have that trust back. Despite being halfway across the country from him, i really trust him. I’m so excited that he has decided to come down in March to visit me. I can’t wait to show him around the area i live and go to nashville. I’m just so ready to take this relationship from friends for a couple years, to more than that.

    This is where i take a break and continue again later. Thank you for reading this... wreck lol