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Captain Imposter WIP

Bruce Wayne is a billionaire, a well-known one at that. He should be able to get whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Whether it was for him or anyone in his household, gods know he can afford it. He always gets his way somehow. Which is why he feels like tearing his hair out trying to plan this birthday party.

Everything was perfect… except for one thing,

One person.

Captain fucking Marvel.

His new kid, Billy, was obsessed with him. It was no surprise to him that Billy's favorite hero just so happens to be the one from his hometown. A hero who was also in the Justice League.

Unlike other parents, who get their children a random person to show up in a costume, the real Captain Marvel could be guaranteed to come to this birthday party, Bruce will make sure of it. Bruce was always determined to make his kids’ first birthday with him absolutely perfect. And Billy was the sweetest of them all. He deserved nothing less.

He can actually make this happen.

He would’ve made this happen.

It shouldn't have been hard to do. In fact, it should have been the easiest part to do in all the party planning. The Captain was always delighted to be invited to places, especially birthday parties. The one time Batman asks for a favor from Captain Marvel, the man who says yes to everything, he had been told no.

No?

No.

Maybe he will get a random person to show up in Captain Marvel’s costume. Billy is still too young to tell the difference, right?

“Clark, are you doing anything this Saturday?”

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Billy can’t help it if his merch is just that good. The red-white-gold color scheme is just pure perfection. Ask Barry, he’ll tell you the same thing.

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Sudden dad of two Bruce Wayne doesn't understand how to handle new assassin son

Next part of my batkids role reverse au with Damian entering the picture

(Previous // next // full guide)

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Homeoffice marvel

There's a meeting, Captain Marvel is unavailable (he's grounded for not doing his homework, but the league thinks he's injured or something) and Batman asks him to join the home office conversation through a notebook he received from the league

What they come across on Captain Marvel's camera is: him on an old couch inside a cave with HUGE PILES of treasure and gold, and every now and then a random CHILD, a TIGER or a DINOSAUR IN A SUIT, walking behind him

No one says anything so as not to interrupt the meeting, but when it ends and Batman asks if there are any questions, Green Lantern is the first to raise his hand and ask "Are the 7 children who passed behind the Captain his children?"

And the Captain frowns, "seven?" and when he looks behind the couch he has a terrified look on his face "DARLA I SAID NO CIVILIANS IN THE CAVE" he quickly leaves the frame and they listen to the discussion begin

Darla (?): But B, Pedro brought his boyfriend here yesterday and no one said anything!

Pedro (?): FREDDY BROUGHT HIS GIRLFRIEND HERE FIRST.

Freddy (??): I ONLY BROUGHT HER BECAUSE MARY HAD THAT GIRLS' NIGHT.

Marvel (B???): IS THERE ANYONE IN THIS CAVE WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT WE HAVE RULES FOR A REASON?! WE CAN'T BRING CIVILIANS IN HERE

As the argument continues, the tiger in the suit walks over to the couch and sits down in front of the league, "hello, gentlemen and ladies, I'm going to hang up on the Captain now, okay? I guess if there's anything else to discuss, one of you can update him later?

*A scream and things being thrown.*

Marvel: EUGENE, YOU'RE GOING TO PUT A DOLLAR IN THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE JAR RIGHT NOW!

The call ends.

Batman, writing down the various names he just discovered: Domestic Violence Jar… I'll write that down too.

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He's just a little confused okay??

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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I like to think that, even though both Tim and Damian are professionally trained in just about every martial art there is, when they rough house, Damian hits him with the classic "lay on your back and kick" defence.

If that fails, it's calling for Bruce because while they both get in trouble, it's better than losing to TIm.

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pov you're bored but you suddenly remember you have a sibling

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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Headcanon that Damian calls Duke his little brother (like Fransika von Karma does with Miles Edgeworth) because he joined the family later. Also because he just hates being the "baby" of the family.

So he's like "Yeah, I'm hanging out with my younger brother Duke later today." to like Maps or Maya. And their like "Oh, I haven't met him before. But that checks out."

And then Duke comes in and he's just a bit younger than Tim and Steph while Maya/Maps was expecting a 4-10 year old.

Idk I think it's funny lol.

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Something I really don’t understand from some Batman fans is the hatred for Brucie Wayne jokes.

They’ll be like “no!!! Batman is serious!!! He wouldn’t do that!!!” And it’s like??? I fear the point of Brucie Wayne is that he would act out of character. They’re just allergic to fun me thinks.

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Real smooth there Steph...

Prev / Index

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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Damian gives "cat that you accidentally woke up when you moved your leg" vibe if you wake him from a nap lol

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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If you're ever in the mood to draw babian again, you should totally have like a toddler damian waddle up to Tim on his tiny fat legs and go "Timothy, I would like to request my daily dose of uppies"

I also gave you Babian cuddles :3

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

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So mad at how long this took

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Damian accent confirmed!!

(Also, Batman feeds homeless kids and does not report them to social services, so that’s one improvement he’s made over time.)

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They should start making ads that say "Smoking makes you gay" and see what happens.

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Lil comic based on this post