thegememerald - Tumblr blog

[thegememerald]

[thegememerald]

What to do when you don’t like a fic: a step by step guide

Step 1:

[thegememerald]

Tumblr is really interesting because you can say something like thursday is duck with a top hat day, and half the website will reblog it

[thegememerald]

Because Nintendo’s beloved character is Japanese, Mario is his LAST name. His first name?

Itsume.

[thegememerald]

bungus

[thegememerald]

Dear god. please make all superyachts explode tomorrow. amen.

[thegememerald]

[thegememerald]

the other day one of my coworkers halfway referenced the spiders georg post but stopped before he actually reached the spiders georg part. like. I can't be sure that that's what he was doing but one coworker said "yknow. people swallow several spiders every year" and my other coworker said "well that's just- it's not true. it's a- no, you'd wake up" and just. there was a look in his eyes. I just know

[thegememerald]

ideally jk rowling will be next

[thegememerald]

holy shit i just learned about the “proxy strike” tactic in france in which radicals blockade or occupy a workplace, allowing workers to strike without losing their wages. that’s brilliant, wow

[thegememerald]

DO HIM NEXT

[thegememerald]

Today's Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

and simply must meet the woman so if I don't come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I'm taking the Corgi with me as protection so I'll see y'all later.

[thegememerald]

sick of pathologizing our favorite characters. “This one has anxiety, this one has ADHD”

we need to expand our diagnosis. Mario has acid reflux. that guy from Supernatural has herpes. Wonder Woman has a UTI. we have the power here

[thegememerald]

One evening, in the sky, a message appeared: “In 24 hours, a billionaire will die.” Everyone everywhere on Earth could see it, in every language. Nobody could explain it. The next day, one of the richest men passed away. “In 24 hours, 2 billionaires…”

[thegememerald]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[thegememerald]

Part 156 of my bakery “enemies” au!

Aaannnd…. scene!

I’m going to take a small hiatus now! Shouldn’t be too long, the next few parts are already done, but I need to recoup at least a little bit and I figure it’d be better to take a break at the scene change than in the middle of the next scene.

Thank you guys for all the kind comments, support, fanworks, etc of my silly comic 😭 I never expected it to get this much attention! Thank you!

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Kofi

[thegememerald]

Part 155 of my bakery “enemies” au!

First / Prev / Next / All

Kofi