thegreatwarhq
thegreatwarhq
to build a home...
44 posts
magical world roleplay discord group. run by andy & love. anti-jkr.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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character name & any aliases: Hannah Abbott
character dob & age: June 23rd, 2004 / 19
canon or oc: canon
character pronouns/gender identity/romantic & sexual identity: cis female / female / bisexual and biromantic
character faceclaim: virgina gardner
character house/past house if relevant: hufflepuff
which school they attended: hogwarts
character alignment in the war/explain if and why it’s changed since the battle: hannah is a member of the d.a., she has been with them since the beginning as several of her closest friends joined at the beginning. she was forced to leave hogwarts for a while when the war begun, as her mother didn’t believe her to be safe within the wizarding world. though hannah returned after the death of her mother and joined the d.a. once more.
where have they been living for the past year: hannah has been living intermittently between hogwarts and with a more distant relative in hogsmeade.
important character information/bio:
Hannah’s family belonged in the sacred 28th list, however as time has passed the family has grown more distant from the old traditions. Hannah’s mom was a muggle born witch, and her father was a known pure-blood wizard that had attended Hogwarts as a Ravenclaw.
Hannah’s dad died before she attended Hogwarts, leaving her mother to raise her on her own. When Hannah arrived at Hogwarts she was sorted into Hufflepuff, something that her own mother had been so proud of. Gullible, easily trusting, and a little naive, she tended to stick close to her friends and classmates. Somedays she felt like she was floating adrift, not knowing what she would like to do after graduation and feeling as though she needed to figure it out sooner rather than later.
Then the war came… she remained at Hogwarts for most of her sixth year until an attack by the Death Eaters hit too close to home, and her mother in her fear, pulled her out of school. Her mother believed Hannah would be safer in the muggle world, if the two of them went into hiding and tried to live a quiet life and wait for things to end. That dream did not last long however, as one day her mother was murdered in their own home.
Hannah returned to the only place left that felt like home, rejoining Hogwarts with a determination to help in any way possible. To not let her mother’s death mean nothing in the end. She came back on her seventh year, and has been working as part of the d.a. doing whatever she can.
MUN INFORMATION:
ALIAS/NAME: Mint
AGE: 24
TIMEZONE: cst
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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Hi is this rp still open? I’ve just started a discord ((:
we are indeed very much open!
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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we have a super fun, plot developing event tonight, so why not come join the chaos or even stumble into the aftermath!!
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/10QqG5_aGv5j0hDxeEryv3aQx2pUqpA27SqKMXbjcUwI/edit?usp=sharing
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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CHARACTER APPLICATION: 
character name & any aliases: Oliver Wood
character dob & age: June 1st, 23 years old
canon or oc: canon
character pronouns/gender identity/romantic & sexual identity: cismale, he/him, biseggsual
character faceclaim:��Casey Deidrick
character house/past house if relevant: Gryffndor
which school they attended: Hogwarts
character alignment in the war/explain if and why it’s changed since the battle: very much of the side of the order.
where have they been living for the past year: they have a nice little apartment in puddlemere
important character information/bio: 
Oliver was born to a pure blood wizard family in Great Britain. The family was by no means rich, but they were not poor. Just had enough to be comfortable and happy. His parents loved their son dearly and supported him with anyway that they could.
When Oliver was 5 he was taken to his first quidditch match with his father. He immediately fell in love with the sport and was nothing less than an enthusiast about it. His room was decorated with posters of the greatest players, and he could tell you everything about almost any team, the players the stats, whatever their was to know he knew. He never missed a game on the tele and would rush home from whatever he had going on to catch the games.
When he was 11, Oliver attended Hogwarts and was placed into house Gryffindor. It was there he met his roommmate and life long friend Percy Weasley. During his first year, Oliver knew he had to be on gryffindors quidditch team. Charlie, captain at the time, wouldn’t allow a first year to play since the roster was full but he was the teams unofficial water boy, and attended all of the practices. He joined the team on his second year.
During his first match, he was hit in the head with a bludger and was placed in the hospital for 1 week. Embaressed, he still went into the next game and did relatively well for the remainder of the season.
During his 5th year, Oliver was made captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team he was unable to find anyone skilled enough to play as Seeker for the team after the departure of Charlie Weasley in the previous year. However, his search was ended when his Head of House, Professor McGonagall, observed Harry Potter catch Neville Longbottom's Remembrall on a broomstick from a fifty foot dive. McGonagall claimed that it was a move that even Charlie Weasley couldn't have pulled off, convincing Oliver that Harry was indeed something special. He immediately saw that Harry's build was perfect for a Seeker, and impressed upon McGonagall the need for Harry to have a decent broom to fly.
Oliver gave Harry his first Quidditch lesson in private, immediately seeing that Harry was a natural flyer on a broomstick. Wanting to use Harry as a secret weapon during the first match of the season against Slytherin, Oliver tried to keep his presence on the team under wraps. Despite his best efforts, however, word got out about Harry's presence, although his skill level was a secret from everyone outside the team.
The team did fairly well that season. However, the final match of the season against Ravenclaw was a disaster. Harry was in the hospital wing after facing Professor Quirrell and Lord Voldemort, and recovering the Philosopher's Stone. Without Harry and his Nimbus 2000 broomstick, the Gryffindor team suffered its biggest defeat in three hundred years.
Oliver spent the summer of 1992 devising an entirely new training schedule that included early morning practice sessions. He was determined to win the Cup, and his enthusiasm for regular training sessions knew no limits. He was annoyed that his team did not seem to be taking it as seriously as he was, but that may have been a result of getting them all up earlier than they expected on the day of their first training session.
On the first Saturday back at school, he booked the Quidditch pitch to begin training earlier than the other teams. His plan was cut short by the arrival of the Slytherin team, who had been given permission to use the pitch by Professor Snape in order to train their new Seeker, Draco Malfoy. The Gryffindor team was clearly very annoyed with this, but Oliver saw it as an opportunity to train Harry even harder in order to beat slytherin in the first match.
Gryffindor won their first match of the season against Slytherin, but the unexplained attacks on Muggle-born students (later found to be caused by the reopening of the Chamber of Secrets and the freeing of the monster within) forced the cancellation of the year's remaining matches. When Minerva McGonagall announced the good news that the school would not be closing, many students shouted "Dumbledore's back" or "The heir of Slytherin has been caught". Wood instead showed his intense love for Quidditch by shouting "Quidditch matches are back on."
In his final year, Oliver Wood was especially desperate to win the Quidditch Cup. He knew that he had the best team in the whole school, and he felt that the Cup would have been Gryffindor's for the past two years if events hadn't so conspired against them. Training his team hard for the first match against Slytherin, he was shocked to find out that Slytherin had indeed managed to postpone the match owing to an injury to their Seeker, Draco Malfoy. Malfoy, injured by a hippogriff after insulting it during a Care of Magical Creatures lesson, was overplaying his injury to get out of playing the match during such extremely bad weather. Gryffindor were to then play Hufflepuff instead.
During the match, Harry was overcome by Dementors, who were attracted to the large gathering. He fell from his broom while chasing the Golden Snitch and it was captured by the Hufflepuff Seeker, Cedric Diggory. When he realised what had happened, Cedric immediately offered Oliver a rematch, but Oliver declined it, knowing that Cedric had caught the Snitch fair and square, and assuring Harry that he didn't blame him for failing to catch the Snitch despite his previously impeccable record.
Oliver knew they still had a chance to win the Cup if they won their remaining matches and other results went their way. He urged Harry to buy a new broom, since his had been destroyed by the Whomping Willow after the last match, and was also worried about the Dementors appearing again and affecting Harry. Harry assured him that Professor Lupin was teaching him to deal with Dementors, and that he had received a Firebolt broomstick for Christmas.
Oliver was amazed, then disappointed to learn that Professor McGonagall had confiscated it to check for signs of tampering or sabotage, as she feared that Sirius Black may have sent it to harm Harry. Oliver tried to appeal to McGonagall, telling her that having the Firebolt would greatly enhanced their chances of winning the Quidditch Cup. McGonagall, however, accused Oliver of placing victory above Harry's life in his order of priorities. Finally, though, the Firebolt was given a clean bill of health, and returned to Harry, much to Oliver's joy.
In the run up to the second match of the season against Ravenclaw, Oliver upped the training sessions to five times a week, and monitored the status of the Ravenclaw Seeker, Cho Chang. Knowing that she had a lot of trouble with injuries, he hoped that she would not be fit to play, and was disappointed to learn that she was able to. During the match, Oliver told Harry to stop being a gentleman and knock Cho off her broom if he had to.
Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw, and other results went their way, meaning that, in the final game of the season against Slytherin, if they could win by two hundred and ten points, they would win the Cup. Oliver took to constantly reminding Harry that he must not catch the Snitch unless they were ahead by at least sixty points, and ordering that Harry should be accompanied everywhere he went, to prevent anyone from harming him before the game, which numerous Slytherins made it clear was a clear and present danger.
During the match against Slytherin, Oliver took two Bludgers to the stomach early in the game. Harry, though, managed to capture the Snitch when Gryffindor were ahead by at least sixty points, resulting in Gryffindor winning the Quidditch Cup. Oliver, overjoyed, ecstatic and finally having achieved his dream, watched Harry lift the Cup aloft.
After leaving Hogwarts, Oliver became the Keeper for Puddlemere United's reserve team. In the summer of 1994, he attended the Quidditch World Cup, along with his old classmates. It was at the World Cup that he saw Harry and introduced him to his parents and told Harry of his new career.
Battle for Hogwarts:
Oliver returned to Hogwarts along with former Gryffindor Quidditch players Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell, and Alicia Spinnet to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts against Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. During a lull in the battle, which was granted to them by Lord Voldemort as time to gather the dead, he assisted Neville Longbottom in carrying the dead bodies of Colin Creevey and others into the Great Hall.
Personality:
Oliver’s personality outside of quidditch is very humble and laidback. He is never afraid to crack a joke and be himself around people. He wants others to be inspired to do their best, and never fails to try and lift up others. He is a true friend to those who are important to them and will have everyone’s back no matter what.
When it comes to quidditch, he has an extreme intense and dedicated personality. Whenever the topic comes up he has a magical enthusiasm about it.
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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MUN INFORMATION:
ALIAS/NAME: mekayla
AGE: 22
TIMEZONE: pst
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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character name & any aliases: marcus flint
character dob & age: may 14th, 23 years old
canon or oc: canon
character pronouns/gender identity/romantic & sexual identity: he/him, cismale, bisexual/romantic
character faceclaim: logan lerman
character house/past house if relevant: slytherin
which school they attended: hogwarts
character alignment in the war/explain if and why it’s changed since the battle: secretly joined the order of the phoenix toward the end of the war, fought in the battle and has worked alongside them throughout the past year while his career has kind of taken a momentary pause on the montrose magpies quidditch team.
where have they been living for the past year: primarily at hogwarts, though he does have his own place in edinburgh
important character information/bio: marcus was always a bit of a vicious little twat in school-- came a lot from growing up with multiple siblings and having to fight for attention. though, marcus got a lot of it by being the one with all the sports talents. he did decently in his education, enough to get by and pass and finish school in his sixth year-- not continuing onto seventh.
growing up in a pureblood family like he did, marcus had a few not so nice thoughts about the way the world worked-- definitely some lowkey superiority complex thoughts. he kinda grew out of it though-- being exposed to so many types at hogwarts and through quidditch, he soon developed his own thoughts and feelings about blood purity and tbh, he just… didn't fucking care??? he had more important things to bully people over-- like their sucky quidditch techniques.
marcus had intense loyalty to the slytherin team-- but this extended to the school in general. it's this loyalty to those he cares about, to the kids at that school getting the right kind of shots in life, that meant marcus joined the order of the phoenix toward the ending of the war and came back to fight in the battle.
since then, he's put his career on hold-- taking a bit of time off to focus on fighting for the school, for the right side of things. he also helps teach quidditch while also helping with general physical health studies bc lbr it's not listed but they have it they need it.
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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character name & any aliases: dorian rosier smith
character dob & age: november 1st 1999 / 24 this year
canon or oc: oc
character pronouns/gender identity/romantic & sexual identity: he/they, non binary, bisexual/romantic
character faceclaim: aaron taylor johnson
character house/past house if relevant: slytherin
which school they attended: hogwarts
character alignment in the war/explain if and why it’s changed since the battle: dorian has, in a way, always been living in shades of grey. wanting to impress his family, while also wanting to hold his own moral standing. he doesn’t believe in discrimination based on anything at all, least of all ideas of blood purity. he doesn’t support voldemort nor his followers, but certainly, in his job, he’s likely had a few pass through his shop. he had to survive the war, after all. it wasn’t as easy for him as just openly rebelling. not least, till his family died at the battle. then, after inheriting all their fortune, dorian officially declared himself for the order. confidently fought, joining in on missions etc.
where have they been living for the past year: between hogwarts and above his shop in diagon alley.
important character information/bio:
born of a mistake, dorian smith should have been the rosier to keep the name going. but, things didn’t happen as they should. a messy affair, a momentary slip. something to be made quiet and pushed aside. dorian rosier became dorian smith. always dubbed the cousin. a distantly connected family member that never could quite be places. certainly not anyone to pay too much mine too. some even said he was adopted or taken in as a ward. purposely, dorian’s life was kept blurry and it always meant growing up without a proper name. without titles, without the kinds of things a first born should have rights to. there was nothing for dorian, not even a whisper about who his real father was. when he was older, he got to know his mother. but only when he was of an appropriate age to keep it a secret from everyone.
through school, dorian felt the odd one out. pure blood claims, but no big name to back it up. but clearly, he was raised a pureblood. he fit in with those crowds, enough at least. but he had friends in other areas too, in a variety of houses from ranging blood status’. by the time he was a couple of years into hogwarts, the family-raised bigotry had fallen away and instead, away from his family influences, dorian could come to his own conclusions about the world he was a part of and where he fell in it.
and what a social butterfly he became. however, without true knowledge of his heritage, there was always a part of dorian that felt out of place. and so, he became a bit of a try hard, desperate to please. to be a good student with a charming personality to match. it was something that carried him through to graduation– where he picked up an apprenticeship at a forge, only to later open up his own place, the morgul forge. something that, after the battle of hogwarts, would later expand and grow further. for the death of his mother meant actually, being left the fortune. an official declaration of his status as heir.
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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regulus black app
MUN INFORMATION:
ALIAS/NAME: T
AGE: 22
TIMEZONE: eet
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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is this active? can't find instructions on how to apply (my apologies, am on mobile)
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hey, we are indeed still active! and on our pinned post you should be able to find all the links you need!
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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parvati patil app.
MUN INFORMATION:
ALIAS/NAME:mekayla
AGE: 21
TIMEZONE: pst
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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enid crouch app.
MUN INFORMATION:
ALIAS/NAME: mekayla
AGE: 21
TIMEZONE: pst
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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penny haywood app.
MUN INFORMATION:
ALIAS/NAME: mekayla
AGE: 21
TIMEZONE: pst
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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CHARACTER APPLICATION: 
character name & any aliases: gwenyth dearborn
character dob & age: july 21st 2002, 21
canon or oc: oc
character pronouns/gender identity/romantic & sexual identity: cisfemale, bisexual, she/her
character faceclaim: kaitlyn dever
character house/past house if relevant: gryffindor
which school they attended: hogwarts
character alignment in the war/explain if and why it’s changed since the battle:
gwen, from the very beginning, has always been on the side of the order. she wasn’t told about the order explicitly while growing up but she learned more as she got older. by the time she got to hogwarts gwen was fully aware of what the order was and knew to keep it secret. her mother kept her safe from the wars as best as she could, but she joined the order the summer before her seventh year and dumbledore’s army immediately after it was formed. her stance has not changed and never will, no matter how much she’s been through.
where have they been living for the past year:
gwen still loves on the isle of skye, in the small druidic community her mother raised her in. the community has been so isolated from other parts of the magical community that it’s completely safe for her to live in.
important character information/bio:
marlene mckinnon spent most of her seventh year very secretly pregnant, only revealing it to a few friends while still in school. the moment she graduated she was able to admit why she was so weird the last few months of school. on july 21st she gave birth to gwen dearborn, her first and only child. she wasn’t in love with caradoc dearborn. in fact he was just a short fling. nevertheless he ended up being one of the most important people in her life. despite how young they both were, caradoc was thrilled to be a father. they moved in together, figuring it would be a lot easier to be parents under the same roof.
as time went on marlene formed a relationship with dorcas meadowes, one of her older sister’s best friends. caradoc had his own relationship and they decided it was better for him to move out and for dorcas to move in instead. the three of them coparented gwen together and she was happy. there was a war raging all around her, all three of her parents involved in it, but she didn’t know. they did their best to keep all of that secret from the young girl.
unfortunately war has a way of touching everyone. things happened slowly, then all at once. her father, caradoc, stopped coming around. she was too young to even ask where her father was, not even a year old when he disappeared. then came july 2003 and the mckinnon family dinner. dorcas couldn’t make it, having to work late on an order mission. gwen was down for a nap when all hell broke loose. she doesn’t remember any of it and mother rarely talks about it. she knows that everyone in her family was murdered that night, that her mother had to witness her own mother and her brothers and sisters all die. it was a miracle marlene got out in the first place.
her childhood was green. trees and bushes and flowers and vines grew all over the town she called home on the isle of skye. she lived in the forest with her mother, not too far from town. everyone called her mother moira and gwen just accepted that it must be some sort of nickname. by the time she was six or seven, old enough to be asking a lot of questions, marlene sat her down and explained things in the most basic way she could. they were hiding from very bad people and her mom had to use a fake name to keep them safe.
the only people she knew very well were the townsfolk and the weasleys. she became best friends with the twins from a young age, always happy to be pulling stupid pranks with them. she called molly and arthur her aunt and uncle. the weasleys became her family. they were the only people marlene trusted with her daughter.
by the time she got to school gwen knew virtually everything about how destructive the war was to her family. it stole her father, her stepmother, her uncle james, the entire mckinnon family. once in school she started to learn how it had destroyed vritually every other family she’d come into contact with. no one escaped the war her mother had protected her from.
gwen was sorted into gryffindor, something that only made her feel closer to the family that had been stolen from her. most of them had been in that house over hundreds of years. it was a little thing that made her feel like she belonged no matter what. and within gryffindor house she found more friends that became her own sort of family.
being at school was her favourite thing until her third year. harry potter showed up that year, a kid she knew but had never met. her mother told her about him, her cousin’s kid she could do nothing to help. instead of telling him who she was, gwen pulled away, not able to justify being close to him. it only made things harder when he became best friends with ron. he was always around after that and she couldnt avoid him the way she wanted to. with each new year came new things getting worse and worse. the chamber of secrets opened in her fourth year and the girl she saw as a little sister got manipulated by the dark lord. in her fifth year sirius black showed up and her favourite teacher was actually her mom’s ex, the one she always talked about. in sixth year came the triwizard tournament.
her seventh year, and the summer before, became the most eventful year of her life. marlene decided it was finally time to come out of hiding. so, with a few words to molly, she was invited to 12 grimmauld place for an order meeting. she reunited with her old friends and gwen had to have an awkward talk with her little cousin. once her seventh year officially started gwen knew she had to do something. being in the order now was great, but action had to be taken. once harry formed dumbledore’s army she joined immediately, happy to help in whatever way she could.
after graduating gwen took on an apprenticeship with a small herbology school in scotland, working to hone the skill she was best with. she began growing very dangerous plants for potions for the order, and given her unqiue abilities it came naturally to her. she dedicated herself to the order and to fighting. during the battle of hogwarts she was taken by surprise, resulting in her mother sacrificing herself life to save her.  since then gwen has been busy doing everything possible to make her mother proud.
MUN INFORMATION:
ALIAS/NAME: smam
AGE: 27
TIMEZONE: pst
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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CHARACTER APPLICATION:  
character name & any aliases: Cedric Diggory 
character dob & age: 23 
canon or oc: canon 
character pronouns/gender identity/romantic & sexual identity: he/him bisexual king 
character faceclaim: Sean Teale 
character house/past house if relevant: Hufflepuff 
which school they attended: Hogwarts 
character alignment in the war/explain if and why it’s changed since the battle: it’s a little bit complicated (read bio) where have they been living for the past year: 
Mungos for the last 5 months. Before that probably some death eater basement.
important character information/bio: 
It almost went all according to his plan. During the triwizard tournament, Peter Pettigrew had murdered Cedric Diggory right underneath Harry’s nose. He had seen him die, brought his body back and had seen him buried.
What Harry failed to realize upon landing at Little Hangleton graveyard, the boy standing next to him was not Cedric, but a death eater transfigured to appear as him. The plan was to have “Cedric” attack Harry. Defaming his name and further weaken a strong wizard from Hogwarts from returning. But Peter Pettigrew grew ahead of himself, attacking the dupe Cedric before realizing what he had done.
With Harry returning to Hogwarts the plan fell through. However now in his possession was a strong and promising wizard, who could be useful if kept alive.
The years to come Cedric was tortured beyond comprehension. With each death eater taking turns doing unspeakable things to him in an attempt to break down his spirit. In each torture method he was reminded that this was all Harry’s fault. No one was going to come and save him, and it was Harry’s fault that he was there in the first place. His head was filled with hatred for the boy, and the sound of his named sent him into an unfit rage.
He soon became one of them. His mind filled with lies that only aided to help the death eaters and their cause. He acted in heinous ways, following orders from you know who and working within the shadows
Cedric’s rescue was not something that was intentional, since no one was aware that he was still living. He was with two other death eaters on a mission, his first time being out in the public. Things went wrong quickly, the two others and Cedric were arrested after being beaten.
After recognizing who Cedric was the authorities immediately transferred to Mungos to receive care, there they understood what happened. It became apparent that his mind was corrupted. According to Cedric, it was Harry’s fault that all this was happening, he was leading a rebellion that was causing the death of thousands. Names such as the Weasleys, Hermione Granger, Longbottom and any one else of note were the criminals who needed to be stopped.
After months of therapy, Cedric resorted back to his old self *somewhat*. He feels great regret over what happened, and how he was capable of doing such awful things. However there are times his mind gives back into the lies, where he still tries to cope with the reality of what happened versus the fiction he had been told. He wants to atone for what he has done, and join Dumbledore’s army to end this war once and for all.
MUN INFORMATION: 
ALIAS/NAME: Az 
AGE: 26 
TIMEZONE: cst
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thegreatwarhq · 2 years ago
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**character name & any aliases**: sirius antares black III, padfoot.
**character dob & age**: november 3rd 1985 || theoretically 37 but he rejects that, he’s sticking to 33 since he wasn’t actually alive for those years in between and being so close to 40 is horrifying to him.
**canon or oc**: canon.
**character pronouns/gender identity/romantic & sexual identity**: he/him, if he thought about it at all he’d realize he was agender and liked the sound of he/they, but look at him. he hasn’t thought more than five seconds before acting on an impulse a day in his life. it’s only gotten slightly better since dying and then not being dead anymore. bisexual.
**character faceclaim**: michael huisman
**character house/past house if relevant**: gryffindor
**which school they attended**: hogwarts
**character alignment in the war/explain if and why it’s changed since the battle**: order of the phoenix, and he was aha Not Present for the battle except for a brief and strange glimmer of a dream-like feeling he had when harry used the resurrection stone.
**where have they been living for the past year**: in his words “your guess is as good as mine” until the last twenty-four to thirty-six hours happened, though now he’s at hogwarts.
**important character information/bio**: there was a short period of sirius’ childhood that perhaps couldn’t be called strictly normal so much as when he looks back it could politely be considered the most “normal” family events he can remember. birthdays, opulent family gatherings with cousins, watching his brother learn to walk… all comparable touchstones in his life to others. things he could point to and say, “look, we knew we were a family once. it felt like we could love each other, once.”
something that felt harder to say as he grew older, even inside his own head. how could he still believe they had ever been a family, rather than just a pack of adherents to a cult, when any dissent or opinion that differed from their family’s tightly held beliefs was met at first with disdain and a smugly knowing look between his parents over the top of his head; and later swift and painful retribution when he refused to buy into their words?
rebellion at first was just a way to get under his parents’ skin, not precisely a means to an end, but something that would allow him to continue proving to himself that his parents weren’t capable of change. it helped as well, knowing there were other options out there; that even other members of the black family might think differently than the party line. even as his parents did their level best to keep him from interacting much with andromeda, they couldn’t keep them from banding together at school.
hogwarts, a place he didn’t realize would hold so much freedom until the train was carrying him away from london, away from the moldering black family residence full of pureblood purist artifacts and decaying principles. the revelation that was being with other wizards and witches that didn’t buy into the precious blood purity bullshit was incredible, and creating an entirely different family with the strength of spite and desire to have people he could genuinely trust.
the rest of the marauders mattered so much more immediately to him than his parents ever could. the relief of having the four of them bound together spurred on how reckless he could be, and it wasn’t so much that he enjoyed breaking rules and running roughshod over gryffindor house and the rest of their year, so much as he enjoyed being able to shape his own life, and feel in control along with the boys he’d happily cut his own heart out to save now.
his brother— his brother held more pain, and perhaps holds pain still, though it’s easy for him to put that behind a quip and a shrug. he knew regulus was smart, could see beyond the purist trash their parents spouted and yet… sirius wished he could make him see, but would never be the type of person to express that out loud. it was easier, always easier with the things that hurt sirius, to pretend it didn’t matter much to him.
that was his dichotomy; that things didn’t much matter until they immediately, painfully did. sometimes he wished he didn’t have the explosive temper that was a written in ink trait of the black family, but sometimes it felt like the most useful part of his inheritance. it was something he could use, a weapon in service of better things.
grimmauld place became, as he grew more and more ironclad with remus, james, and peter, just a place he had to return to during the summer. a dusty jail cell to sleep in, with gaolers to antagonize with muggle music at top volume and muggle posters on the damasked walls. it was a relief; being thrown out and his name being blasted from the family tree at sixteen. finally, his name meant nothing, it was officially just a surname that couldn’t really hurt him any longer. the reminder of his existence would only hurt his parents now, and the thought gave him a ragged sense of satisfaction.
his final years of school drained away quickly, his mind always looking ahead, to the tension that was building and taking shape beyond hogwarts walls. hogwarts was his home, but nothing that was happening now really mattered. his marks didn’t matter, OWLS and NEWTS didn’t really matter, it was what he could use those things for in the conflict ahead.
everything was so deadly serious, life and death, and yet it didn’t truly feel like anything could touch them. he was well aware of the risks he, and the rest of the marauders were taking, hell the rest of the order was taking. but he never genuinely believed anything bad would happen to any of them. dying was for people that weren’t them. james, and remus, and peter; they were so alive, all of them connected like veins to his bloody beating heart.
the crux of the matter was— people just kept dying. benjy, dorcas, caradoc, marlene… they felt like dominos falling; people he had known as alive, living and breathing suddenly with that vital rhythm of their lives snapped. the weight of it started to drown him, and the sensation of drowning made sirius paranoid and panicky.
swapping the secret keeper status felt like giving james and lily extra security at the time, sirius’ fears of everyone double crossing them ruling him and making him turn to peter. peter felt safe like a pair of warm socks, or that just cozy enough chair. harmless. without any willpower of his own. the crucial underestimation was something that still haunted him; past hunting peter down in the street with blood roaring the sea in his ears, and well into azkaban when he wasn’t slumbering and sank deep into that canine brain that offered a reprieve from the worst memories his own life had to offer him.
upon escaping, sirius didn’t have a plan; beyond dragging every little bit of pain and anger he had out on peter. if he wasn’t sorry, if he didn’t feel guilt over what he had done, then sirius would find a way to make him sorry. there was an unspoken thought in the back of his mind that said he didn’t much care what happened to himself after that, whether that was receiving the kiss or death. at least either would mean it was over.
what he didn’t expect was how much meeting harry would feel like perhaps it was possible to try again. he could see so much of both james and lily in him, their spirit so clear and present in his face as well as his choices in spite of what he’d gone through even as a child of thirteen… he thought perhaps this was fate’s ultimate plan. sirius had never particularly desired fatherhood, or carrying on the black family line but. being the guardian to james and lily’s child felt like something he could be good at.
returning to life has been a bit of a shock, to put it mildly. he doesn’t have much in terms of ‘experiences and knowledge of the beyond’, he thinks that perhaps there was something or somewhere that he was after he went beyond the veil, but it feels very put in a box on a shelf in the back of his mind. and to put it truthfully, he’s not exactly ready to just open that and let whatever’s inside of it, back out again.
so to hear him tell it, he was going through the veil, and then he was abruptly shivering in the large arena room in the department of mysteries once more, staring at his godson who most certainly did not look fifteen any longer. right now, sirius doesn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, he just wants to enjoy the pleasure of being alive, and being alive now. there’s still plenty of pain and self-blame waiting for him though, once things begin to settle down, and he’s self aware to want to keep putting it off a little while longer.
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