theguardianinterviews

[theguardianinterviews]

The Guardian Q&A

When were you happiest?

I think I was happiest as a child just hanging out with my grampa, actually. He was the one person in my life who was an utterly pure soul who had a way of making everything simple and easy. I loved him so much, and he had such a similar sense of humor to me. Wandering about my hometown with him on a random Saturday afternoon, him teaching me how to ride a bike or throw darts into wooden fences and trees—those were the moments I was happiest.

What is your most treasured possession?

My grampa’s gold watch he left to me. I’m not very materialistic, but this watch holds special significance. I can’t think of anything else I care about that much.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Just laughing with someone when it’s genuine and filled with love.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I’m impatient, and as I have anxiety, I can be controlling when it comes to how I like things done—which isn’t very nice. I’m also a bit of a sadist in that I sometimes enjoy pushing people’s buttons when I don’t like them. Those are all contenders. It all stems from a horrid insecurity that I deplore.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I’m quite vain and generally feel my appearance could be a lot worse, but my face shape is a bit rounder than I’d like. I have good cheekbones but a pretty round jawline, and I’d love to look a bit more Johnny Depp-like. Even when I’m rake-thin, my face is round—I look like a lollipop.

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?

It’s a bit childish, but I would genuinely love to see something like a T. rex in the flesh… from a safe distance, of course.

What is your greatest fear?

Letting down my family.

What makes you feel alive?

Victory. It’s very sad, but any kind of triumph where I can objectively point to my part in it gets me feeling alive. I’d also add exercise—I haven’t done much running this year as my knees have been in terrible shape, but a good run would get the blood pumping.

Which living person do you most admire?

That’s tough, as most of the people I admire are dead now. Strangely, it’s probably the comedian Billy Connolly—a man who used his talents as a speaker and comedian to make a wonderful career and show a lot of people—especially a lot of Scottish or working-class people—that there is a different way to be in life. You can be positive and love life.

What is your greatest regret?

I don’t have many, but if there’s any regret, it’s that I didn’t properly stop drinking earlier. Not that much earlier, but I wish I’d stopped about five years before I did. It’s not a huge regret, but it’s the only one I can genuinely say, I wish I hadn’t kept drinking when I think I knew I was beginning not to enjoy it.

How would you like to be remembered?

I don’t think I will be, probably. I haven’t achieved much in life outside of my work, which isn’t very interesting. I suppose as someone who encouraged people, so I better get on with that because it’s pretty unlikely otherwise.

What’s the most important lesson life has taught you?

This turned out wonderfully—it really does read like an interview! I hope you enjoy seeing it like this.

That quiet, little gestures mean so much more sometimes than the big, flashy ones. Tiny moments of affection, respect, and care that people show each other that are over in the blink of an eye are where you see real love sometimes.