pro prequels baby!!!!! the skywalkers are all dumbasses and i love them. (i don’t like the sequels but no hate to you if you do)
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Hey have we considered that the reason that one guy in the Prequels was really chill about offering some Jedi death sticks isn't some massive conspiracy that the Jedi are all doing massive amounts of drugs, or even that he didn't realize they were Jedi, but instead that arresting people for non-violent drug offenses is fucking evil and the Jedi aren't cops? And the people of Coruscant generally know that as long as they're not killing people the Jedi aren't actually interested in fucking them over?
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Can you even imagine the fallout of an AU where the Rako Hardeen arc took place after the Wrong Jedi arc. Anakin would’ve snapped then and there
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“What if Anakin had faked his death instead?”
Well obviously Obi-Wan would’ve immediately become a deadbeat alcoholic.
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just another day of hating sheev palpatine!!! 😀 i hate that fascist pig!!!
#sheev palpatine#palpatine#I hate sheeve palpatine#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi-wan kenobi#sw prequels#revenge of the sith#the clone wars#tcw#he groomed anakin#I want to rip his head off
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HELLO GUESS WHO IS NEVER EVER GONNA BE OVER THE FACT EVER THAT OBI WAN BURIED HIS LIGHTSABER AND ANAKIN’S LIGHTSABER TOGETHER SIDE BY SIDE IN THE DESERT
ME ME I’M NEVER GONNA BE FUCKING OVER IT LUCASFILMS GODDAMMIT SHOW ME THE FUNERAL
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He thought he saw a ghost, but it was only an illusion.
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with new pictures of Hayden Christensen floating around I keep seeing people saying 'imagine if Anakin didn't turn bad, the biggest problem for Luke and Leia would be that their dad is a dilf and all their friends swoon over him when he comes to pick them up from school'
and yes of course that's valid because Anakin would absolutely be casually leaning against his modified speeder with sunglasses on dressed in black like a model but please imagine the twins getting horrified by their friends drooling over him and going "dad you're not allowed to show your face at school now, mom will come pick us up" but HAVE YOU SEEN RECENT PICTURES OF NATALIE PORTMAN?
the twins have zero ideas how hot their parents are, they're just their lame parents, they don't realise that their mom has the face of Natalie Portman and the second their friends see her they're like "your father is a dilf and your mother is a former queen and the nicest AND hottest milf in the galaxy?? you guys are so lucky"
Leia is traumatised and almost shaking, saying, "this is the worst. I can't believe our parents are...." She makes a horrible gagging sound. "...Hot."
"I know, I can't believe it either," Luke groans.
"Next time we'll ask Obi-Wan to come pick us up."
"Oh good idea! It's not like anyone would find old uncle Ben hot!"
"Yes, that's impossible," Leia replies, relieved.
"Impossible!" Luke laughs.
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Kenobi is in a few days and I just realized i never posted a bingo sheet so here-

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pls excuse me getting emotional over the disney+ header rn
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will graham be like yeah i'm aware hannibal lecter has done some not good things and he's like, the worst and stuff, but also i really want to dick him down so? i can look past it
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Once again, I am in absolute tears over the prequels and they are so much funnier than anyone gives them credit for because LOOK AT THIS SCENE It’s after Anakin has been a real brat to Obi-Wan in front of Padme because he’s trying to impress her, despite that Obi-Wan also tried to cheer him up about how she didn’t seem to notice him. It’s after their speeder chase with Zam where Anakin goes from patiently asking her about her target to SNARLING SCREAM RAGE in .5 seconds because she’s not giving him the answers he wants about Padme. So, this scene is in the context of how Obi-Wan has had more than enough of Anakin being obsessive about Padme and now Anakin is being sent on this mission before Obi-Wan thinks he’s ready and when you look at it through that lens IT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE SEEN SINCE THE LAST SCENE IN THIS MOVIE. LOOK AT ALL THAT SPACE IN THE TRANSPORT. THERE IS ZERO REASON FOR OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN TO BE CRAMMED ONTO A SINGLE SEAT. WHAT KILLS ME THOUGH IS OBI-WAN AS SOON AS PADME STANDS UP TO WALK BY NOT ONLY IS HE ALREADY CRAMMED INTO ANAKIN’S PERSONAL SPACE BUT HE LEEEEEEEEANS OVER TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW BLOCKING ANAKIN’S VIEW OF PADME AS SHE WALKS BY AND THERE IS NOTHING OUTSIDE THAT WINDOW THAT IS OF INTEREST OBI-WAN IS LOOKING AT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING JUST TO BLOCK ANAKIN’S VIEW SO HE DOESN’T IMMEDIATELY START STARING AT PADME AGAIN AND YOU KNOW Y O U K N O W THAT’S WHY THEY’RE CRAMMED TOGETHER IN A SINGLE SEAT BECAUSE OBI-WAN TOOK ONE LOOK AT THAT HOT MESS OF A SITUATION AND WAS LIKE OH I AM NOT DEALING WITH THAT HEADACHE TODAY SO HE PARKS ANAKIN IN A FRONT SEAT AND SITS DOWN NEXT TO HIM FOR THE WHOLE TRAM RIDE AND AS SOON AS PAMDE IS IN ANAKIN’S VIEW, OBI-WAN LEANS OVER TO LOOK AT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SO ANAKIN CAN’T GET UP HE DOESN’T GET UP UNTIL PADME’S WELL PAST AND TALKING TO DORME AND THEY ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO MOVE SO WHAT HAPPENS? ANAKIN IMMEDIATELY STARTS STARING AT PADME AND SMILING THAT SMILE WHILE PADME AND DORME HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION AND ANAKIN IS LITERALLY TURNING TO GO OVER TO THEM WHEN OBI-WAN PRACTICALLY HAS TO SNAP HIS FINGERS IN ANAKIN’S FACE TO GET HIM TO FOCUS AND PAY ATTENTION OVER HERE AND I AM WEEPING ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT OBI-WAN HAS TO DEAL WITH, THIS IS WHAT OBI-WAN IS TRYING TO TRAIN INTO A JEDI, THIS IS WHY OBI-WAN HAS TO CORNER ANAKIN ON THE TRAM SO THEY CAN GET FIVE MINUTES OF ANAKIN NOT BEING A DRAMATIC MOONING TEENAGERS. THIS IS WHY OBI-WAN IS A SAINT TO PUT UP WITH ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S 19 YEAR OLD IDIOCY.
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I don’t think I’ll be able to recover from this picture anytime soon
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a silly hc I like to think about is that most Jedi have a very vague concept of money.
sure they know what money is and get the principle of exchanging it for goods and services, but they grow up without having to use it in the Temple so what's the point of knowing the price of a jogan fruit if you can just ask for one in the refectory?
The accounting department is traditionally run by non-Jedi because none of them knows how taxes work or what a balance sheet is. Accountants working at the Temple are the most exasperated people in the galaxy and their daily conversations are like,
"master Kenobi went on a 2-week long mission and didn't ask for an allocation. Again. I wonder if he's going to admit he forgot and call for help at one point or try to sell most of his clothes at the highest price possible. Can't wait to read his report."
"can someone explain to me how Master Fisto left a month ago with 400 credits and came back with twice that amount? What did he do to earn that much money?"
"remember that time Master Jinn asked us to send him the equivalent of the GDP of a small mid rim planet because he gambled on a Force-intuition? yeah, I don't miss this guy."
anyway my point was actually: Anakin Skywalker, who grew up working in a shop and has never paid a price he didn't bargain for before, is one of the only Jedi the accounting department considers responsible and pragmatic.
#most jedi at any given time: it's one banana skywalker what could it cost? 30 credits?#Anakin: 👁️👄👁️#(they're probably not that bad because they have to use it on missions BUT: it still amuses me)#fic i will never write#anakin skywalker#jedi order
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