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That's one of the best portraits of Titus I've ever seen. The wide-legged stance with rounded back and hips going somewhat forward, these trousers with too much space in the knee area... And the face is a little masterpiece, the eyes, their shape and look, the way the lips are positioned, so characteristic for Laurie when he holds something in his mouth, the hairline, the perfect configuration of folds, wrinkles and scars, it's AMAZING.

And as alawys when I see Lillie's drawings, I just ask myself the question: how much time did Lillie spend staring at Titus? I mean, I know how much time I've been spending doing that, to learn these details by heart and let me tell you, it's not a healthy amount 🤣

Anyway, I always thought Lillie was quite fascinated with Titus. His caricatures can be pretty cruel, but he always drew Titus in somewhat, dare I say, loving way.

Caricature of E.L. Atkinson and L.E.G. Oates by Denis Lillie, August 1910 on board the Terra Nova (Forest School Archive)

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Sweet frozhen auroras... To quote Vito Corleone: look how they massacred my boy... These brows remind me strongly of Joe Pesci in Oliver Stone's "JFK".

The above clipping comes from unknown newspaper, but was published somewhere after... Well, after Titus went out (and it have been some time), as a part of a memorial article for these Terra Nova expedition members who remained in the ice.

Titus, love, you have no luck with these portraits and retouches, no luck whatsoever.

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Many authors seems to be weirded out with Laurie's love for Napoleon, as in they cannot understand why. For me the "why" is glaringly obvious. Imagine for a moment the teenage Laurie, this gangly, long limbed kid, entering Eton. Eton has been rife with horrifying bullying like since ever, which is barely surprising, considering it is chock full of snobby, rich kids, not exacttly raised for empathy and understanding. And Laurie with his peculiar speech pattern, atypical gait (in Ponko's footage you can get a glimpse of it, my man was basically walking in these long strides, but barely lifting his feet off the ground, like he was always on skis), proneness for social gaffes, absolute inability to deal on the social level with ladies without committing a faux pas, and multiple learning disabilities, was a prime target for bullies. The fact that Laurie comes from just landed gentry, without much connections and no aristocracy on the family three wasn't making things any better in this land of snobs.

This kid, who had to deal with bullying and with the attitude of some teachers (they didn't have much mercy for kids with learning disabilities back then) started to read the biography of Napoleon. And as he read his eyes got wider and wider. This Napoleon dude was so much like him, Laurie Oates, absolute social disaster, clueless with women, bullied in the posh school for rich kids he attended for the way he spoke (Napoleon had thick Corsican accent he was unable to get rid of), his writing was spidery and illegible, like Laurie's own... And Laurie, who probable felt inadequate and less than all his life, asked himself a question: how it was possibile that Bonaparte was so much like Laurie himself, yet he was one of the biggest badasses in the military history of the world? Maybe, just maybe, he, Laurie Oates, wasn't a complete loser and there was some hope...*

And that's how Laurie got to love Bonaparte, in my honest opinion.

*) Titus, you were never a loser. Never!

In the picture: Laurie in his Eton years. Yes, he has a shiner under his right eye.

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I sent Bryan a picture p.c. the other day. It was one of those " Songs Illustrated" series entitled "The Return of the Swallows". When I saw it in the shop I laughed so [much] that the proprietor came down and asked me to stop as a crowd was collecting outside.

Laurie's letter to mother, sent from Ireland, as quoted by Limb&Cordingley in their "Captain Oates. Soldier and Explorer." Titus is usually presented as this always deadpan man that barely ever smiles, yet here he is, laughing his arse off in a public place.

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- Hey, Brujum, does it make VROOM?

- Dunno, let me listen.

Laurie, Brujum (Bryan) and their motorbikes. Laurie's was a gift from his momma for his twentieth six birthday.

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I don't think Oates took any interest in social life. He certainly didn't in Cairo when there was much gaiety in the winter. Numbers of people came out from England and there were dances in all the big hotels. But I can't ever remember Oates going to any of those sorts of things. He would appear in the mess I should say every night of the week. But I never heard of him doing anything in the social line... He was a very difficult man to get to know. He kept so much to himself... [His superior officers] had a feeling of affection for him but they couldn't get him to do the ordinary social round that was expected of officers.

Recollection of certain Colonel Brooks, as quoted by Limb & Cordingley in "Captain Oates. Soldier and Explorer". Titus, you wild social butterfly!

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Switch "Bill Wilson" with "Titus Oates" and you have me in my full glory. No offence, Bill.

they don't know what they lost

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The above comes from Bernacchi's "A very gallant gentleman". He ripped it partially from an official report, partially from a memorial article written in a cavalry newspaper (damn it, I forgot the title) after Titus went out (and it indeed has been some time), I have no idea though where did he get the story of Buster. I think the embellishments arę clearly visible here, because I don't find it very probable the Soldier, weakened from thirst and severe blood loss, was that talkative, though relief can make weird things with people. Despite of all this I find the little snippet about Buster quite interesting. Seeing something in an ugly, mentalny unsound horse, and turning him into a mild-mannered gentleman is somehow... Very Oatesy, if I may put it this way. I mean this was a man, who gave a piece of his heart to each of the crocks from the Terra Nova, even Christopher, who deemed everything two-legged his mortal enemy, received from Oates nothing but care and patience. So, as much as I distrust Bernacchi, who trimmed Titus's image like a veal cutelet, I AM pretty much ready to accept the Buster story as the true one.

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He's so beautiful. So goddamn beautiful.

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A Monday Mystery for you: what the fuq possessed Bernacchi to stubbornly claim Titus had grey/blue-grey eyes. I wrote about its earlier, tearing my hair out in clumps, pretty sure Bernacchi never read Teddy's works he listed in his bibliography. But alas, ladies, gentlemen and scientists, the case is even worse than this. I'll show you Bernacchi did actually read Teddy Evans's memory of Titus and decided to change stuff on his own. I caught this right now as I am re-reading Bernacchi, starved for Anything Titus.

But first, let's glance at Teddy's works, published in The Strand Magazine:

You can see Teddy writes here about Titus's first appearance at the London headquarters of the Expedition, and recalls that my Soldier had BROWN eyes. Teddy mentions his big brown eyes for the second time writing about Christmas 1911, when Titus got uncharacteristically talkative. My guess that this bout of talkativeness was caused by Titus knowing he wasn't going back home alive, but I won't delve into this now, as it's not a time for tears. Anyway, Teddy wrote clearly and twice about brown eyes of Titus and I believe him, he saw these eyes personally, right? Unlike Bernacchi, by the way, who never ever met Titus. Also all the pics of The Soldier show a pair of very, very dark eyes shining in his face, certainly darker than blue or grey.

Now, let's look at what mister Bernacchi sweated onto the paper:

You can see that this lazy arse Bernacchi ripped most passages almost word for word from Teddy's text, and believe me when I say he does A LOT of that shameless ripping. The antarctic chapter is like almost entirely ripped from Scott diaries, with a pinch of Ponko here and there. But check the description of Oates, aquascutum, check, strong, clean shaven and weather battered, check, kindly... WHAT THE FUCK?

Yes, you read that well. He switched "brown" from Teddy's description with "dark-grey". He had to read it as he copied it almost exactly word for word, but somehow he decided "Nope, brown eyes are wrong, off with them, let's give Captain Oates a nice pair of grey ones". Why? Why was this dude so pigheaded about Titus's eye colour that he went against a testimony of a man who knew Oates personally and had multiple occasions to see his eyes in their full glory? What the everloving fuck possessed Bernacchi? Were brown eyes not enough English in his mind or what? WHAAAAT?!

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From a book by Christopher Wynn, called "You never knew that about English" (1958). The original picture from which this sketch was made for comparison. Let's say it aloud, my man does not have much luck for portraits and retouchers. This one looks similar, butnot quite there, like a long lost cousin.

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Planting my geraniums and lobelias and thinking about Titus, who liked them too. And he liked, like me, that sweet smell of moist soil in Spring, he mentioned that in his letters from India. And there are so many things about him I will never get to know.

Sigh.

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For Heaven's sake, why is Deb's diary so insanely expensive? And what I am supposed to do, rob a bank? Sell a kidney? I MUST HAVE IT!

BLAAAAAAAAST!!!

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Last autumn was a hell for me, you know. I lied there in bed, with heavy strep infection, exhausted from fighting my doc who for some idiotic reason refused to prescribe me the antibiotic and stuck with treatment that made things worse. I lied there fully aware that I'll get fired from my job for that illness. To make long story short, I was heading for a nasty, heavy burnout and a bout of depression. You know who saved me?

Titus. That glimpse of his humour and personality I saw in the letter quoted in a book about the Terra Nova wives was like a spark of light in the dark. And that's how he came to be my lighthouse, helping me to navigate the darkness and not letting me sink. So yeah, the Terra Nova Boys do a lot of that saving people.

So, a couple days ago I was introducing my friend to the wonderful people of the Terra Nova Expedition and I might have described them as “cool guys”. As a reply, I was told by said friend that “Cool Guys” sounded like the title of some sort of sitcom, and within a minute we were both singing the opening of Friends. This had to be done. (I am trash and I offer my sincere apologies to the people depicted in this stupid thing. Now I can evaporate ;D )

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I really cant’ say what I love the most of this short piece of video. Maybe Cherry-Garrard looking cute and confused as always. Maybe Wilson being Wilson. Maybe Scott playing with the dog.  Or maybe, just maybe OATES SMILING IN THE BACKGROUND Thank you Ponting for this gem, everytime I rewatch 90 Degrees South I find new reasons to cry.

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I discovered recently that the sack cloth balaclava and the homemade canvas trousers might not be the only Sewing Adventures of Titus (that sounds a bit like a title od a children's book). I think, ladies, gentlemen and scientists, my man made the breast pockets on his Wolsey woolen jacket.

Exhibit number one is a pic made by Ponko, with direct purpose to be published as Wolsey ad for these lovely undergarments. The jacket, note it well, has no breast pockets, only these low sitting ones. They look pretty tight and that would be damn uncomfortable for Titus, who owned a pair of really big hands.

A little confession: I did check the Wolsey undies on other expedition members, none of them sported any breast pockets. Yes, I pored through multiple pictures only to glare at the underwear, I am that much of a weirdo.

Exhibit number two is a pic from the depot laying trip before the antarctic summer. Titus (in the middle) is wearing his Wolsey jacket, no breast pockets on it yet. The gentleman on the right wears a Wolsey too, also without the breast pockets. And yeah, the existing pockets of his garment look indeed tight.

Exhibit number three is a part of the main party pic, a picture of my man, slightly smoked after a winter spent over the blubber stove, wearing again his Wolsey jacket, but now with breast pockets. They are made out of a fabric different to that used to make the jacket itself, or the lower set of pockets. Their construction screams: a merry amateur at work. The flaps are uneven, one is definitely misaligned with the pocket, all seems to be cut in quite clumsy fashion and put together with stitches looking like these used by dr Frankenstein, solid, but not very aesthetically pleasing. As we know Titus did not give a flying shit about the aesthetics of his garments, so yeah, I think he put'em pockets together.

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Obejrzyj film „The Great White Silence (1924) - Colorized HD” w YouTube

A bit of eye exercise for Friday. Look carefully at the deck and you may notice a glimpse of a tall, slim figure, wearing a hat with a bobble and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up elbows. Yup, that's him. That's Titus. Don't you blink or you'll miss him.