thej-key

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been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

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method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows

and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows

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god I could be so wealthy if I had no ethics. that's so fucking frustrating. I'm living paycheck to paycheck because I'm not grifting vulnerable idiots on TikTok. I feel like I have the ability to very easily scam people. I could make a killing with AI. but god. I have morals and ethics and so I get to be poor as shit. I hate this fucking world

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You might find something like this on your property or along public forest trails. It’s about the same size and shape as a ketchup packet and smells like rotten fish. Believe it or not, this little packet protects you, your pets, and your family. The USDA drops these in areas (including Hamilton County) where raccoon-variant rabies has been known to occur. Raccoons find the packet and eat the contents, and it provides them with immunity to rabies. If you find one, simply leave it where it is, or, if it’s in an area accessible to a pet or child, just put on a pair of gloves and move it. Don’t worry, though— even if it was handled by a human or pet, it doesn’t pose any danger besides an unpleasant odor.

~ For Fox Sake Wildlife Rescue

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Fuck it. So many of you asked for this so I’m delivering. English Willy part 2. Enjoy

(part 1)

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Something about FNAF 3 and Fazbear Frights taking place in 2023 in our current social media landscape

(part 2)

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Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

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Attempting to make him aware of his mortality (he does not care)

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crazy that Walt Disney just wanted to draw a rat and monopolise media corporations but now they spawned some neo pagan consumerist religion where they have to train staff specifically to detect and remove human ashes that are covertly spread in their parks

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i cant get over the king charles portrait. they made that thing to age in his place. that painting hangs in the house of a too-friendly family you find in the post apocalyptic wasteland who inexplicably has a ready supply of fresh meat. if mario jumped into that painting he wouldn't find a charming platformer he would be flayed and hanged like a medieval criminal by an unseeable force in a droning red void. that painting is a color blindness test for people who work in IT but believe in the divine right of kings. that painting is going to weep the sequel to blood. after he dies charles is gonna crawl outta that thing like sadako.

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"Captain! Open the door!" "Kick it in!" "…Lest we break it down and take more than those shells!" "You bastards may take… exactly what I give you!" "CERVESA CRISTAL"

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GLORIOUS AMERICAN BEVERAGE, RECARBONATED OVER TEN THOUSAND TIMES

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“What is it that the child has to teach?

The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everybody should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness. The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not.

And the child is right.”

— Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

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The equipment of a British Royal Flying Corps airplane observer, 1917.