thekarmancollection

[thekarmancollection]

Before Tumblr decided to act up, I wanted to share some of the fics that I have written on Kartik & Aman so far. If there are any prompts that you’d like to send my way, then please feel free to do so! 💜

The Heart's Song - asmaanixx                

Word Count: 862

Summary: Struck with an irrational sliver of hope, he took a quick glance around and found neither Aman or a beer store. Disappointed, he scooted down on the bench, stretched his legs, and with crossed arms, reflected on how his life became so bleak in a matter of mere moments.

Rating: T

Aaj Mausam Bada Beimaan Hai - asmaanixx

Word Count: 1, 792

Summary: Kartik chuckled, “Akele kahan honge. Puri Tripathi family hogi tumhare saath.”

“But not you.” Aman hugged Kartik a little tighter.

After a long pause, Kartik answered, “Maybe one day.”

Rating: T

Kiss Me Senseless - asmaanixx                

Word Count: 892

Summary: Aman took in a sharp breath. What if Kartik was The One for Aman, but he refused to meet him again after this? Was Aman really going to lose out on the love of his life just because he sweated too much?

Rating: T

Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho - asmaanixx

Word Count: 1, 820

Summary: “Kaisa pyaar Kartik?” Aman snapped. Kartik was taken aback by the question. “Kaisa pyaar karte ho tum mujhse? Hum dono ke doosre ko kitni dher se jaante hai?”

“Kitni dher se matlab? Hum ek doosre ke saath rehte hai na?”

“Haan, toh? Kitne log ek doosre ke saath rehte hai, pyaar hota hai. Phir chod kar chale jaate hai na?” Hot, heavy tears fell down his cheeks. “Agar tumhe koi aur mil ga, tum bhi chale jao ge na?”

Rating: T

Sweetness Overload - asmaanixx

Word Count: 533

Summary: “Are you mad bro?” Kartik yelled, as he spat out the food he just ate. “Pasta mein cheeni kaun dal tha hai?”

Rating: T

Nazm Nazm Sa Mere - asmaanixx

Word Count: 4, 091

Summary: Days pass before Kartik is reminded of the song book again. He was sitting in the balcony, tuning his guitar. He hadn’t really been thinking of anything in particular, but when his fingers strummed across the chords, they brought up a long forgotten memory. A smile graced his lips as he thought back to simpler times. A time where he didn’t have to deal with the aftermaths of a heartbreak.

Rating: T

[thekarmancollection]

i’m from another part of south asia where discussions like these just can’t take place, its not even an options. its unfair how many people would’ve gone through the phases of questioning to accepting without ever getting to talk about it or share it even with their closest people. like you’re in canada so you must have your friends or others in school who are accepting but here its not the case. i know this guy who’s family got him married 3 times to different girls which all ended in disasters

It absolutely is unfair, and I wish I had the answer to how to make this better, but unfortunately I don’t. I would suggest following some social media accounts so that some sort of awareness could be created, but not everyone has that kind of luxury.

I don’t know how laws, or the education system works in India but perhaps bringing about changes on those levels will get societies to open up? If not, then at the very least something needs to be done at a generational level. Our parents, and grandparents weren’t brought up with the idea of engaging in conversations on sex, drugs, etc. If we start creating an open space for our own children, then perhaps some difference could be made?

I think I’m approaching this from an urbanized perspective where people living in the city may be a little more welcoming to having these discussions than people living in the rural side. Or maybe that’s not even true, and they could all be equally as judgmental. In Canada, we all mostly keep to ourselves. It’s not like India, where people can visit each other’s homes at whatever time they like, and the doors will be open all day. We are friendly, but there are also strict boundaries when it comes to personal space. You’re not allowed in unless you’ve been specifically invited. In many ways, this helps because not many people care about what goes on in other people’s homes. Respect for each other’s privacy, and right to live gets ingrained in this way. Mind you, my only experience of India is of small towns in Punjab, so I don’t know how it’s like in more urban cities, or people living in apartments. It very well could be more open minded than I believe it to be.

It saddens me thinking about how many lives get destroyed simply because we’re not given the chance to explore ourselves. I don’t even know what they all would have gone through. The man’s anger and frustration in not being able to be true to himself, or the women for having to live with a lie. Then there’s another added factor of how women are generally blamed whenever a marriage fails. Then there’s also the stigma of getting divorced, second marriages, or marrying a divorce etc. Family’s disappointments, society’s taunts, or them giving their advice on what to do best, when really they don’t know anything.

I really wish people stopped carrying about “log kya kahenge” and were allowed to live the lives that they want to live.

[thekarmancollection]

reading your post made me think how we have normalised that queer people don’t exist (talking for south asia here) and how many of my friends or family could’ve been questioning their identities and are not allowed to share it or to talk about it, they just go through all of it completely alone

A large part of that comes with sex being a taboo subject matter in India. In fact, I would go as far as to say, South Asian communities in general, as even those living abroad, like in Canada have at times objected to sexual topics.

To give an example, a few years ago, the Education Ministry in Ontario, had proposed teaching sex education to children as young as the first grade. Many desi families protested against this, and went as far as pulling their kids out of the classroom. I don’t know if there would have been any severe ramifications on children if they learnt about these matters at a younger age, but personally I find that the positives outweigh the negatives. Sexual education (at least when I had learnt it in middle school), consists of learning about one’s body. How the reproductive organs work, how to practice safe sex, the various diseases that can be contracted if one is not careful and much more. Now, given that these are children, they may not have been learning about these topics. Instead, they may have been learning about Good Touch vs. Bad Touch. I.e., how to identify when someone is touching you in appropriately, how to respond it, how to safely inform someone about what’s happening etc. Another component that could have been discussed is cyber bullying. How to be careful online, not to reveal private information to strangers, not to feel pressured to send out revealing photos, how to not be so heavily influenced by the media and its beauty standards etc.

I agree that there is a method, and time for all sorts of discussions, but a complete ban isn’t going to help anyone. There are so many topics under the broad category of sex that are always either hushed up, or viewed negatively, such as: women’s menstrual cycle, men having erectile dysfunctions, the “value” of virginity, the contradictory opinions on who gets to have an active sex life (studs vs. sluts), women also having sexual desires, masturbation, and so much more. If we can’t openly talk about these matters openly, then Queer subject matters are so far out of the realm for South Asian societies.

I agree, that films have contributed to bringing some level of awareness, but that’s not enough. Ayushmann Khuranna while promoting Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan, had said that he wanted to target the people who already hold homophobic thoughts. He didn’t want to preach to the converted. I.e., people who are already open minded and accepting of homosexuality will obviously come to watch the film. But it’s the ones who are not accepting, whose thoughts need to be challenged.

This same approach needs to be used for all aforementioned matters, and the ones not mentioned as well. Let’s use women’s menstruation as an example. Akshay Kumar’s film Padman was focused on creating affordable, and hygienic sanitary pads. A great initiative, but how have people’s viewpoints changed on menstruation over all? Women are still denied going to religious institutions while on their periods. While purchasing tampons, or sanitary pads, there is still an element of shame residing in us as if we don’t want people to know we’re on our periods, even though for most women, it’s a monthly occurrence. Films help to bring awareness about a certain topic, but it’s up to the public to incorporate this awareness into their daily lives.

Coming back to the Queer community, we existed in the past, we exist now, and we always will. The main issue that I find with India is that it is simply too vast. In this one country, there upwards of one billion people, who all practice their own cultures, and speak their own languages. As such, they will never come to one unanimous consensus. There will always be certain individuals, or certain sects who will oppose to whatever is being proposed for xyz reasons. If not sexuality, then it will be one’s caste. If not caste, then it’ll be their skin color. If not that, then the religion they practice. And the list will go on and on and on. However, this vastness, and differences shouldn’t be a deterrent. Instead, speak in their language so that they can understand better. Use elements in their culture (whether they’re anecdotes or otherwise) to make comparisons so that they can see where they’re going wrong. If possibly, use mythology as well. There are so many deities who either transitioned from being male to female or vice versa, and yet they’re still revered so highly by their devotees.

There will always be a space in which discussions can take place. If not with your family, then with your friends. If not friends, then other members of the community, whether they’re in the same country as you or not. Even something as small as you reading about someone else’s experience, or knowing that a certain celebrity that you like is queer, can make a huge difference.

Well, I just went all over the place with your post. I hope at least some of it made sense. I’ll try to be more concise in the future.

Take care! 💜

[thekarmancollection]

One way that I usually gauge how heavily I have gotten involved with a fandom is through my relationship with fanfics. Am I a passive participant in which I just read the stories others have written? Or am I an active one, and contribute to fandom by sharing my own stories?

For Kartik & Aman, I am definitely an active member. Although I'm a strong believer that there is no one right way to fandom, I personally, just had to be an active participant. Keeping the conversations alive on them, will allow other stories to unfold. Taking the time out to engage in their lives, will give me the opportunity to learn about others.

Living in the West undoubtedly gives me a certain kind of privilege that those living in India may not have. In the West, there are organizations set up to help out various LGBTQ+ causes. We have people in powerful positions who are LGBTQ+ members. We have songs, films, books, and TV shows, written by and for people like us.

In India, that isn't true. Homosexuality may gotten decriminalized in 2018, but it didn't erase homophobia overnight. People are still marginalized, persecuted, and have to seek out comforts because it's not readily available to them.

With this statement, I don't want to say that living in the West is perfect. It's not. There are still homophobic people holding positions of power who try to do whatever they can to dis-empower us. There are still a lot of discussions wherein the LGBTQ+ community gets left out. There are still people who take advantage of our identity, and try to use us simply to make themselves seem more "woke".

I suppose what I'm trying to get at, is that we need to create more connections with one another. Whether it's through sharing our own personal stories, or fictional ones, we need to evoke emotions in one another.

Let's normalize, and spread all kinds of love, especially in the desi community. 💜

[thekarmancollection]

Welcome!

Kartik Singh and Aman Tripathi.

When I first watched the trailer for Shubh Mangal Zyaada Saavdhan, I was immensely excited. It was going to be the first mainstream same sex love story to be depicted on the big screen after all. Who wouldn’t be excited for it? What I didn’t count on was to be moved by their story so much.

Living in Canada, I have been exposed to LGBTQ+ stories for so many years. Whether it was in literature, TV shows, films, cartoons, anime - I have seen them all. But it has always been in the Western context. It always happened to people who were drastically different to me in so many ways. I may empathize with them, but I was never able to connect with them.

Until Shubh Mangal Zyaada Saavdhan that is.

Kartik and Aman are two gay men, while I’m a bisexual woman. Yet, I identify more with them because of some fundamental things like being able to understand their language. Being able to know the heavy pressure that comes with not wanting to be a huge disappointment to the family. Of knowing that even though you may not be in constant connection with your chacha/chachi, massar/massi, pua/puphar, mama/mami - on some level, knowing that they’re gossiping about you as if you’re a bad seed, it hurts.

Then there are other elements that make them so familiar. Like the gaaliyan that get thrown around each other (saale), the sarcastic comments (hum kuthe hai kya?), or the pop cultural references (ban paye ga tu Roadies?). There have been so many heterosexual movies that replicated iconic Bollywood moments, like DDLJ’s train scene, as a way of propping up their own romantic couples. I always understood what they were trying to but it still never made me care. They’re the main leads, a man and a woman, of course they will get their happy ending. But to see Kartik and Aman in that same context, it hit me so hard. The only different thing about Kartik and Aman is that they’re both men. Other than that, their love is just the same and just as valid as all the heterosexual pairings the audience has been made to see thus far.

If the film wasn’t enough, the songs captured my whole heart. Ooh La La is the crack song that lifts up my head any time of the day. Pyaar Tenu Karda Hai Gabru makes me want to dance no matter where I am, and I’m super insecure about my dancing. Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho makes me want to stare out the window, and wonder where my future partner is so that I can tell them the same one day. Aisi Taisi reminds me of how hypocritical society is and it’s best to just do what you want to, while Kya Karte The Sajna makes me want to wear a bi cape and shout things at people from the rooftop. And finally Raakh owns my soul. If I were to ever name a song that describes me than it will hands down be this one. Death and the LGBTQ+ community share a very long history. Yet, this history never got in the way of keeping hope alive for a better tomorrow. Yesterday may have been bad, but we can’t let it cloud the future. After all, zidd jad mein hai kya karenge.

Seeing Kartik and Aman’s story made me realize just how ignorant I have been of the LGBTQ+ lives, and issues within my own desi community. Because I had felt so culturally removed from seeing all the predominantly non-Brown stories, for some reason I had gotten it in my head that we don’t exist. Our stories don’t exist. As such, I did a huge disservice to my own self, because I am one. I am that face that we don’t get to see on the screens. I have that story that doesn’t get told often. I am that person who others may connect to.

I had accepted my bisexuality a long time ago, but have only recently chosen to connect with others in an active manner. Especially with those who are from the desi community. I’m not here to do anything radical, or be the answer to a lot of questions, or even be a leading voice in a particular cause. There’s still so much that I have to learn myself after all.

What I will be doing is what I do best: write stories. I’m still learning how to craft original stories, and characters, so I will stick to writing pieces on Kartik and Aman for now. It’ll help me greatly to learn how to write out different voices, our cultural context etc. Apart from that, I’ll occasionally write some meta pieces about the movie as well. There’s simply so much going on both on the surface, as well as subtext, and I would like to write out my two cents on it.

Lastly, this blog is an absolute safe space for everyone, regardless of who they are. Like I had mentioned, I am not an expert on everything that pertains to sexuality, so I will always refrain from making generalized comments as I know they’re not applicable to everyone. If I ever make a mistake, do me a kind favor, and politely point out my mistake. Don’t immediately jump down my throat and demonize me for not knowing everything under the sun.

Let’s engage in healthy conversations where we all help educate one another. Let’s pick each other up when we make mistakes, comfort one another for our losses, and celebrate our successes.

Without any further ado, welcome to thekarmancollection. 💜