theknowing-ff-blog

[theknowing-ff-blog]

TWENTY-SIX

Trey

“Well, here we are again. Congratulations to my brother and sister. Y'all been through a lot and this time I hope you act right, Trey. She’s a good woman and plus my niece is due any day now.” Jermaine said as he held his champagne glass in the air.

“ I know man, and I’m not losin’ her again.” I turned and looked over at Vanessa. This engagement was happening again, this time I was going to be the man she wanted me to be.

“You better not hurt my sister again. Yo Nessa, if he does you wrong again, you got my permission to kill him.”

“Jermaine, stop,” Vanessa said chuckling. “I know he’s for real this time. Excuse me, though. Trey, can I speak to privately for a moment?” Getting up, I followed her. I hope nothing was wrong, I wanted this night to be perfect.

Stepping outside of the restaurant, I couldn’t stop looking at her. She was beautiful and she looked happy. I have to admit, I could see the stress on Vanessa’s face when we were going through our shit. She wasn’t happy, but I didn’t care then. I’m just glad we’ve moved on from that.

“What’s up Nessa?”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. I just want to make sure you’re ready to be with me for the rest of your life. I know you’ve changed, but I don’t want you thinking we have to rush this.”

“We’re not rushin’. I only love you and you’re the woman I need and want, Nessa. I’m more than ready and I love you and I want our family together.”

“Okay, and I love you too Trey. Just promise me that I don’t have to worry about anyone coming between us, again.”

“Trey!” I looked over Vanessa’s shoulders and tried to see who was calling my name. No one was there, but I heard it.

“Trey, did you hear me? Trey….Trey…..” slowly, everything was starting to fade.

I woke up sweating and confused. I looked up at Angel and she was giving me this look. I rubbed my hands over my face and tried to figure out why I had that dream. Everything about it felt so real and I hate that it even ended. My life seemed perfect, but I knew that wasn’t my reality. Lately, I’ve been thinking about Vanessa, but I know that part of my life is done. I had to let that go because she can’t let our past go. Maybe one day we can agree that we’re better off just co-parenting because it’s obvious a relationship won’t work.

“Trey, why are you ignoring me? You fell asleep on me and you’ve been quiet since you woke up. Now you’re just scrolling through your phone. What’s wrong?” Angel said to me.

“Huh? Oh yeah, my bad. I was just thinkin’ and I’m tryin’ to check my emails.”

“Emails, huh? Sure you were. You were probably responding to some thirsty DM’s.” I instantly sighed at that. I don’t know why she always had something to say about other women, we were only friends who were having fun.

Angel was something different and when I say different that’s what I mean. She was cool, but she was also a little too much. She was so possessive and I didn’t really like that. I never gave her a reason to think we were more than what we were. I just really hope she understands I’m not trying to be in a relationship with anybody right now.

“What’s wrong with that? I’m single.”

“Okay, but you’re dating me. Are we not exclusive?”

“I thought we were havin’ fun, Angel. I think you’re cool, but I told you from the beginnin’ what this was.”

“So you’re saying I’m just someone to fuck?! Nigga are you serious right now?!”

“Kind of. I don’t want a relationship with anybody right now. I told you I’m tryin’ to have fun. I don’t need all that right now.” Her face was turning red and she kept rolling her eyes.

This was something I wasn’t about to deal with. I needed to cut this situation off really quick. I just want to focus on me and my kids, I don’t need all of this. Angel may not like the idea of not talking anymore, but I don’t care. I was honest with her about everything, so I really didn’t care about her being upset.

Sitting in silence for a few minutes, Angel finally broke it. I knew she was getting ready to yell and bitch and that would’ve been my excuse to tell her to leave. I wanted peace and quiet and she was doing the most.

“When did you decide this? You know what? Never mind. I bet you want your baby mama back. I’m not in the business of keeping no man who doesn’t want to be kept.”

“What are you even talkin’ about Angel? I told you I didn’t want a relationship because I need to focus on my kids.”

“Boy, I don’t care anymore. I have plenty of guys who want to spend time with me.”

“Alright. You leavin’?” She rolled her eyes and began to put her clothes on. She was pissed, but oh well. I didn’t care and whoever was about to deal with that attitude, I hope they can handle her because it’s exhausting.

Watching Angel leave, I decided to grab my phone and text, Charmaine. I missed Skylar and wondered if she was going to bring Skylar over here for the weekend when I get back to LA.

me: I know it’s late but when I get back in town tomorrow, can u bring Skylar over?

Charmaine: I guess I can, but you know we’re going back to Miami soon. I’m ready to move back.

me: what? Nah, I need my daughter close to me. what u wanna move back for?

Charmaine: it’s late. I’ll discuss this when I see you. Good night.

What the hell was Charmaine talking about? She knows how much I hate the idea of Skylar being too far away. It’s bad enough I just found about her recently. I want Skylar close to me and Charmaine knows this. I know Charmaine can do what she wants, but she needs to realize being back in Miami is not the best. Hopefully, she’ll realize this and we can come to an agreement.

***

A few days later…

“ So you had a dream about her? Trey, let it go. One minute you don’t want her and now you’ve been thinking about her. Honestly, you two are draining as hell.” I swear one minute Maya seemed like a person to seek advice and sometimes I wished I didn’t say anything.

“Nah, I always knew what I wanted. Nessa was the one who was with all the back and forth. Anyway, I need some advice about somethin’ Charmaine said. I texted her askin’ to bring Skylar over today and she told me they’re movin’ back to Miami. Am I wrong for wantin’ Skylar close to me?”

“Yes and no.”

“What do you mean yes and no?”

“Trey, Charmaine is grown and plus she had sole custody of Skylar. If she wants to move, let her. Yes, I understand you want your child close to you, but maybe Charmaine is doing what’s best for them. You did have her move all the way here when she had a whole life back in Miami.” Maybe Maya was right, but I’m thinking about what’s best for Skylar.

“Yeah, I guess I see what you’re sayin’. I don’t want to miss out on her life, I guess. Plus the holidays are comin’ up, I want her to be here.”

“You won’t. You act like they can’t visit or you can’t do the same. I know it’s a lot, but maybe Charmaine will agree.”

“I hope so. Have you talk to your friend lately?”

“Now you know I have. She’s doing just fine and maybe you should call her to see when the next appointment is. Before you know it, she’ll be calling saying she’s in labor.” I wasn’t in the mood to talk to Vanessa, but I know I have to. She’s probably thinking I don’t care, but that’s not the case.

Taking Maya’s advice, I decided to call her up. I wasn’t sure if she would answer, but at least I can say I tried.

“Hello?”

“What’s up Nessa? You have time to talk?”

Vanessa

Hearing from Trey was weird considering how he did me at our so called lunch. I didn’t think he cared, but I’m trying to be a different person and give him a chance. Trey had a right to say how he felt, I can’t even mad at that. I just want him to be active in Marley’s life once she gets here.

���Yes, I have time. Surprised to hear from you, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He said chuckling. “I wanted to see how you were doin’.”

“That’s good to hear. I didn’t think I would hear from you, but I’m okay. A little sick, that’s all.”

“Sick? Do you need anything? You know I’ll bring you somethin’. I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you.

“No, I’m fine. I’m over at my mom’s, so she’s taking care of me.” It was cute that he felt concerned, but honestly, I really was fine. I didn’t want him running to aid unless it was serious.

“Your mom? Wait, Vanessa what are you talkin’ about?”

“We’re back on track, Trey. It’s a long story, but I’m sure I’ll see you soon. We’ll talk about that then.”

“I got the feelin’ that you’re tryin’ to rush me off the phone, Nessa.”

“I kind of am,” I said laughing. “You know how I am when it’s food around. I’ll talk to you later, though.”

“Yeah, I know. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be back in LA for awhile, but you know I’ll be back if it’s an emergency.”

“I know you will. Bye.”

“Bye, Nessa.” I hung up. It felt weird not staying on the phone with him. When we were together and he would leave in and out, we would talk for hours. Now it’s like we’re strangers who just met.

I was starting to feel at peace with my life. I don’t know what it is was, but I was feeling better. My mom and I are back on track, Trey’s talking to me and now I’m just waiting for Vashtie to come over. Everything was almost in place. I just wanted a better life and most importantly I was ready to feel like a new woman. My past haunted me forever, and it was draining. To go through the same things, over and over was too much. It took all of my energy and I felt like I wasn’t sane. The way I felt, showed on my face. I felt terrible, so I looked terrible. I don’t need all of the drama anymore. I’m getting older and I need to think about my future. I was becoming a mom and that’s what mattered.

Patiently waiting, I finally heard a knock on the door. I knew it was Vashtie and I was getting nervous. My mom ended up answering the door and that’s when I saw her. I couldn’t believe I haven’t spoken to her in months and I felt awful. Our friendship was tainted because of me. She was being a friend, but I didn’t listen.

“Hi, Vashtie. It’s been years since I’ve seen you. How are you?”

“Hey Mrs. Sanchez, and I know right? I’ve been good, though. I’m living and maintaining. How have you been?”

“I’m okay, for the most part. Come in, though.” My mother let her in and instantly I could feel the uncomfortableness. Vashtie didn’t really want to be here and I get that.

Vashtie sat down on the loveseat right across from me. My mother ended up leaving us in there and that’s when that uncomfortable silence started. I didn’t know what to say because it’s been so long. I missed my friend and now I feel like we’re strangers force in a room. Can we ever come back from this falling out? I feel like we can’t and I just want some type of peace from this in the end.

“Hey, Vashtie.” She just stared at me. It was getting even more awkward. “You’re probably wondering why I even contacted you, huh?”

“Pretty much. I guess it’s okay, I didn’t have anything to do today. What did you call me over here for?”

“I’m sorry. I really mean that, because now I realize how stupid I was being. I wasn’t being a friend and I really feel like I’m the one to blame. I drew a wedge between our friendship and it makes me feel terrible. I knew you were right about the whole Richard thing and about my relationship with Trey. I was blinded and I didn’t want to hear the truth. All the signs were in my face and I dismissed it. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t. I just want you to accept my apology and we can put all of this behind us.”

“ It took you this long to realize that your actions were stupid, childish & just all around wrong?”

“It took a while, well after I went to rehab.”

“You were in rehab? For what exactly?”

“Addiction and abuse.”

“Wow. Why didn’t you contact me sooner, Vanessa? I don’t care if we weren’t speaking, I still care about you.” She really thought it would’ve been easy to call her? We literally fell out and I felt I couldn’t call her.

I wanted to call Vashtie many times, but I was certain that she wouldn’t talk to me. I ask didn’t want to hear “I told you so” or anything else from her. I knew my situation was bad and telling her would’ve been too much for me at that time. I would’ve felt embarrassed if I explained my addiction to her.

“I couldn’t and plus I didn’t think you would want to talk to me.”

“But this was something serious. You had an addiction and that’s something you could’ve called me about. I’ve been knowing you for like eighteen years, you think I wanted to throw all that away over a few disagreements? No, I was just mad because you let a someone manipulate you and abuse you.”

“He really did manipulate me. I was addicted to pills and when I found out he was married I couldn’t get away. I ended up telling Trey about him, and that only ended up in conceiving Marley. Richard found out about that and he beat me once again. I got tired of being a punching bag and after Trey magically got into another relationship and something clicked. I was ready to get help and forget about anything that ever happened to me. I found a place that was for women who were either addicted to drugs or alcohol and who were in abusive relationships. Vashtie, I didn’t have anyone to talk to, it was literally the worst time.” She sat that silent. She did have a concerned look on her face.

It felt pretty good expressing that to her. It was true, though. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to. Vashtie knew every and anything about me and it felt weird that she wasn’t there to support me. I was technically the only family she had left and it was vice versa. I knew one of these days we would come back together, I just hope we can be friends like we used to be.

“Wow, Vanessa. That’s a lot to deal with. I’m sorry that you went through that and I hate I wasn’t around.” She got up and sat down next to me. I really missed my friend.

“It’s okay. It’s my fault that you weren’t around.

“You know what, let’s just forgot about what we went through. It’s old and I’m trying to better myself these days. I just want my friend back.” She said smiling.

“Same here. I missed you, girl. Plus I’m trying to better myself as well, that’s why I finally gave up on Trey.” I said chuckling.

“Gave up on Trey? You alright?”

“Girl that’s a long story. Ever since I found out about his child he had on me and at first, I thought I wanted him back, but now I’m okay with not being together.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. I’m sure he’s been getting karma or he will.” She said with a smirk on her face.

“You really despise him, don’t you?”

“You know I do, but has Maya mentioned Jermaine? I kind of miss him.”

“No, but you like him or something? I always thought you two had some type of spark.”

“No and no. You know what, let’s change the subject. I’m hungry and want some food I know your mom cooked.”

“Yeah, Yeah. We’ll talk about this later and you know she did.” Vashtie knew she like Jermaine, so I don’t know why she wanted to stop talking about it. It felt good talking and laughing with her. It doesn’t even seem like we fell out and I’m happy we can go back to where we left off. No awkwardness, just two friends having a good conversation. I wouldn’t trade this friendship for anything. Now my list of changes is almost complete.

[theknowing-ff-blog]

TWENTY-FIVE PT. 2

Vanessa

“Ma, you’re hugging me too tight.” I chuckled and she let me go. This was so damn weird and that’s when she really took a look at my growing belly before pulling me inside her apartment.

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant?!”

“Yeah, five and half months to be exact.”

“By who? I don’t even know my daughter anymore.” I didn’t even want to mention Trey, but it’s basically her fault why we don’t speak.

“Well it’s been a few years since we’ve actually spoken, but I don’t want to go back to the past. I’m pregnant by the person you hate so much, which you never gave a real reason why you hate him.” She rolled her eyes and walked over to the kitchen.

My mother never gave a real reason except for saying it was because Trey was black. Another black person hating the next black person for no reason was just sad and a sorry ass excuse for not liking someone. I always knew my mother had anti blackness deeply rooted in her. Yeah,  Dominicans are mixed, but most of us are black whether we like it or not. My mother is the prime example but never said shit about my black father. My father was definitely a black Dominican who also had Haitian ancestry like her.

“So I guess you’re still dealing with him? He’s no good and you need to realize that.”

“He used to be no good, but it doesn’t matter. We’re no longer together and you still haven’t said why you don’t like him.”

“I told you why. He’s no good and that’s how black guys usually are.”

“You’re not serious, are you? That’s men in general, has nothing to do with color. Stop using black as an excuse, because if that’s the case why were you with dad?”

“You’re father was Dominican. How dare you?” She said walking back into the living room

“Yes, but racially he was black. He was black, you’re black and you guys made a black child. We are basically Haitians that just speak spanish. Let’s not touch on how the both of you had Haitian mothers and grandmothers.” She was turning red and I could tell she was upset. Did I really care? Not really, I was tired of that. By now I thought she would’ve changed since more Latinos are accepting their blackness.

“How dare you talk to me like that.” Boom, she smacked me. The last time my mother did that, I was sixteen. She hated to hear the truth.

My face was stinging and my heart rate almost went up. For a moment I forgot I was pregnant and then I realize why I never came back here. The abuse was the main reason. Plus, trying to get through to my mother was just pointless. She’ll never agree with me and that’s something I should accept. She doesn’t care to change her ways and I could care less to come see her again. This isn’t how I thought this visit would start off, but it did.

Keep reading

[theknowing-ff-blog]

Wow I haven’t update this story in forever. 😭

[theknowing-ff-blog]

Man I was hot reading the hell date short like this dude here ready to fight an imaginary character lol cause it's dudes out here JUST like that 😒😒

lol that's exactly why I wrote it. It's a shame that some men are like that, though 🙄.

[theknowing-ff-blog]

Hell Date (Writing challenge 1)

“Shit, Tori get it together. Just act natural and all will go well.”

“Why are you so nervous? It’s only a date, girl.” Ashley said as she was standing in the mirror reapplying her lipstick. She was the only one ecstatic about this.

“I don’t like blind dates, Ashley.”

“You don’t like dates, Tori. You haven’t dated in a year. I’m surprised Samir was able to get you on one.” She’s right, but I try to avoid men as much as possible. With sweat trying to trickle down my forehead, my nerves got the best of me. Blind dates were freaking horrible. The problem was, I agreed to three of them and I don’t think I can make it to the end of this one.

A little background on this date, our best friend think he’s the love connection and decided he would set us up with us with his co-workers. Now here I am pacing back and forth in this bathroom, trying to calm myself down. What if the guy isn’t my type? What if he’s some psycho killer? Better yet, what if I’m not his type? So many things were running through my mind and I just wanted to run the hell up out of this restaurant. I glanced over in the mirror and realized that I wasn’t going to waste this look I had going on. I had a new curly wig, my makeup was popping and my black sequin chain dress was hugging my curves so nicely.

“Well, Tori, you didn’t get fine for nothing.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I sighed deeply and fixed my dress before we headed back out there.

It had been fifteen minutes and our mystery men were already late. I was sitting at the bar and I was already on my second shot of this unsatisfying Jameson whiskey. I was becoming annoyed and wanted to leave right that second. I know this is not a marriage arrangement or anything, but I was so damn nervous. I’m not good with dates at all and I think it’s because I’m scared. It took everything in me to stay there and that’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and noticed it was Samir and some girl hey met a few weeks ago. Why must this date be a group date?

“Wassup Tori and Ashley. Y'all look decent.” He said chuckling.

“Hey, Samir.” I looked up at him and took another shot.

“Samir, you’re a hater. We look the fuck good, okay? what are you doing here?”

“Well we wanted to do the whole buddy system, just in case yall dates starts tripping.” He smirked, but I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. I just wanted this date to be over.

“Well, where are they Samir? Did they turn around and leave? That would fade all of my worries.” I said as I waved at the bartender to bring me another shot.

“Tori, can try to be interested in a date for once? You’re not marrying the guy, you’re here to have fun. Here they are now.” That’s when I saw them. One was tall, dark and just fine. The other one was fine too. He was a caramel complexion, tall as well and I don’t know which one it was, but I could smell Viktor & Rolf Spice Bomb Cologne as they made their way over to us.

As soon as they walked over, Samir and his date went to their table and left me and Ashley at the bar. I gulped down my shot and the first thing I noticed from the caramel one, was that his smile turned into a frown. I was confused because was that frown for me or Ashley? I should hope not considering I thought we both looked so fine tonight. Maybe I’m overthinking everything because I’m so damn nervous. Shit, I hope this date goes well.

“Are you Victoria?” The caramel one approached me. His sexy, deep voice had chills running up my spine.

“Yes, but you call me Tori. You’re Ricardo, right?”

“Yes and I rather call you Victoria.” He said it in a nonchalant manner. What the hell was up with that? Strike one.

“Oh okay, um our table is ready.” He rolled his eyes and that’s when I gave Ashley a cold stare as she and her date were all smiles and giggles. Little did she know this date was starting off wrong already. I’m just trying to figure what did I do wrong.

Sitting down, our waiter finally came over and asked us if wanted anything to drink. To be honest I wanted to leave. My date seemed so uninterested and it was just plain rude. I’m no fan of blind dates and I know I didn’t want to do this date either, but I’m trying. I swear if he says anything out of the way I’m leaving and throwing a glass of wine on him. I don’t have time for men and their shitty ass behaviors.

“So I hear you work with Samir. You guys are both into graphic designing, that seems so cool. How do you like it?”

“I mean it’s cool, as you put it. I always had a passion for graphic designing and illustration. Working on my own company as we speak. What do you do for a living? Post pics on Instagram?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you one of those uneducated Instagram models? You just seem like the type. I can tell by your dress, Yeezy season 2 shoes and that hair.” What the hell? I was two seconds from slapping this guy with the menu. How dare he downplay “Instagram” models as he so put it? Strike two.

“Well, first off I’m a hairstylist. Second, I do make money from social media, but I’m no model. I also have a masters in engineering. So who’s uneducated here?” The look on his face was priceless. Ashley and her date both looked over at us and frowned.

“How long did it take you to come up with that?” He smirked and folded his arms together.

“Not that long. Cosmetology at Paul Mitchell didn’t take long. Then getting my degree from the University of Michigan didn’t take long either. Nice try, because you’re really trying it.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I just get tired of going on dates with women who have nothing going on. You give off the vibe that you’re only here for free food and that’s it. You give off the vibe that you don’t do anything but take selfies.”

“Well, you know what they say when you assume. You make an ass of yourself. Would you like it if I judged your ass off the rip? No, you wouldn’t.” His ass shut up then. He knew he was wrong. He had no reason to be that ignorant.

Our waiter came back, sitting our drinks down and that’s when I decided to order an appetizer. I was so close to ending this, but of course, I’m trying to appease Ashley and Samir. They both want me to date so bad, but the guy Samir set me up with is an asshole. I know Samir was trying to do a good deed, but I wish he would’ve have known this son of a bitch was rude.

“So, what made you go to school for hair and engineering?”

“Those are two things I have a passion for and of course I never want to rely on a man for everything. I need my own money, but I don’t have a problem with my man taking care of things.”

“This is why I date white women. They know how to sit back and let a man be a man. You come off aggressive and also demanding. I honestly don’t see what man would want to date you or any woman like you. Black women always want too much. Plus, you continued a back and forth session with me when all you had to do was be quiet. Typical black women shit.” He had a smug look and that’s when the waiter came right on time. I noticed Ashley cocked her head back and was appalled. I don’t know who this guy thought he was playing with, but he had the wrong one. How the hell did I come off aggressive when he started it? And where does he get off with these black women comments? Strike three.

As the waiter came back, he asked if were ready to order anything else and that’s when I told him no because we needed more time. That’s what had; time. I was about to go off on this man since he wanted to be an asshole and put down black women. He really fucked up and now I have to ruin his night and everyone else’s.

“What the fuck is wrong with him. What do you mean typical black women shit? Lawrence, check your boy.” Ashley sat her drink down hard as hell, but I could handle this situation very well.

“Ricardo, chill man. Just leave, don’t be disrespectful towards her.” Lawrence was annoyed and I could tell he wasn’t feeling Ricardo at all.

“That’s why you date white women? Basically, you believe they’re easier to control, huh?”

“Absolutely. They know their place, unlike your kind.”

“My kind? Oh, I’m sorry is your mother of another race or is that underlying racism really fucking with your head? How dare you put down your own women just to say you like white women? Are really this ignorant or you just want a way out of this date? ” we had an audience and honestly I was getting louder on purpose.

“My mother is black but she doesn’t ac-”

“She doesn’t what? Just shut the fuck up, please. Black men like you make it bad for the rest that actually respects us. The fact that you can sit up with a straight face and disrespect me is disgusting. A white woman can you have your sorry ass and we’ll see who has your back when you face racial issues from racist ass people. I’m out of here.” I got up and grabbed my purse.

“Are you done?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not.” I picked my wine glass up and took a sip. I gave him a dirty look and that’s when I threw the rest in his face. “Now I’m done. Oh Samir, thank you for this blind date, but never again.” I shouted across the room. “Ashley, I will talk to you later. Enjoy your date with this gentleman.”  and that’s when I made my way out of the restaurant. I didn’t have time for the bullshit.

Waiting for my uber, I was heated. I was tired and I was ready to go off on every man that looked my way. I know there are men who disrespect women on a daily, but I never had a man disrespect me personally. Truth be told, I felt embarrassed. When all eyes were on us I felt like I was the one being judged and not him. That’s usually how it is right?

“Excuse me mi-”

“Wha- uh, oh….hi. Yes, can I help you.” I turned around quickly and just when I was getting ready to curse someone out, this fine ass man stopped all of that.

“Hi, I heard what happened in there. Are you alright?”

“Not really. I don’t like when men disrespect  me or any woman for that matter.”

“Yeah, that was pretty messed up. I don’t like seeing shit like that either. I just don’t understand how he could disrespect someone as beautiful as you.” He said as his tongue ran across his bottom lip. I don’t know what it was, but he was so sexy.

“Are you trying to flirt me?”

“I don’t know, is it working?”

“Kind of.” I giggled and fixed my dress. He was so damn beautiful and I don’t know why I was turning red in the face. He was making me nervous.

“I’m Brandon by the way? You are?”

“I’m Tori.”

“Well Tori, are you willing to go on date with me since that one didn’t work?” I wanted to say no, but the vibe was telling me to say yes.

“Hmm, I guess. As long as you’re not disrespectful or crazy.”

“I promise you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Hmm, okay. Now I’m going to hold you to that.” He handed me his phone and that’s when I put my number in it. This was another risk I was willing to take. He was fine and seemed nice. “Here you go.” I handed his phone back and that’s when my uber pulled up.

“When I call you, don’t act like you don’t remember me.”

“Oh, believe me, I won’t. Bye” I waved him bye and got inside of the car. Let’s just hope this works out better than what I just had with that jerk in there. I don’t need any more hell dates, Lord knows.

[theknowing-ff-blog]

TWENTY-THREE

Trey

Being in New York was a good thing, but at the same time, it was stressful as hell. I had so much work to do and I was tired. The only good thing about this is money, but I just needed a break. I was missing Skylar and I wanted to spend my time with her. Being a father was the best thing and the fact that Vanessa wants to keep me away from our unborn child is just ridiculous. I would do anything to be there for her and the baby, but she won’t even tell me where she’s at. I hate how stubborn she is, I just hope Maya can talk her into reconsidering this childish decision.

Waiting for my meeting to start, I started going through my DM’s on Instagram. One of the DM’s stood out and I hurried up and clicked on it. I normally ignore a lot of these, but I knew this had to be important if she was sending me anything.

naturalbabejalissa: Hey, I know we don’t really know each other, but I think you should know Vanessa whereabouts. She’s staying with me and I honestly hate how stubborn she’s being. Maybe whenever you have time you can come out here and actually talk to her.

So that’s where she’s been hiding? Maya could’ve told me that considering we’re both in town. I sent her a message back because whether Vanessa likes it or not, she’ll have to talk to me. I don’t care how mad she gets. I’m tired of her always running away from our problems. That’s why we can never get past our issues and be on good terms. I just want a healthy relationship with Vanessa that way we can both be good parents to our child. I don’t know if she’ll want a serious relationship again, but we could at least do co-parenting and be friends.

“What’s wrong?” Maya asked as she sat down next to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Vanessa was livin’ with her sister?”

“Huh?”

“Maya, you could’ve told me. You know how much Vanessa means to me.”

“Look, Trey, Vanessa is a friend and I wanted to respect her wishes. Yes, you’re my friend and my boss as well, but you have to understand how she feels. No, I don’t agree with her staying away from you, but she needs space from you. How did you even find out she was out here?” Could I be mad at Maya? not really. I understand why she kept it away, but at the same time, I have the right to know.

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trey-ff.tumblr.com is the link for the TWO new stories! i updated two chapters for both and in a week or so, there should be one for each. the chapter lists are trey-ff.tumblr.com/me4u and trey-ff.tumblr.com/therighttime

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TWO.

SONYA

On October 22, 2016, Hassan Ali Duncan, my first-born child graced the world. He weighed exactly six and a half pounds, just a pound below average. As I studied his features, I realized that he looked a lot more like me than he did his father. Thank God. Not that Carter was at all bad-looking. I just never wanted to look at Hassan and see his father’s reflection, given the circumstances. However, that would always be an inevitable challenge. As much as I wanted to believe that I brought this precious baby-boy into the world by myself, Carter was still apart of him and I had to deal with that.

“Wait, so you named him after the pizza-boy? What happened to not naming people after people?” Ebony asked smugly as I simply chuckled. While I had already told them the story of how I had given birth at home with the delivery-boy, I hadn’t told them of how I had chosen Hassan’s name. Mostly due to the fact that I had named him after someone else when I vowed against ever doing that.

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ONE.

SONYA

“Thank you.” I replied to the manager before hanging up the phone. I had just ordered something to eat from one of my favorite take-out restaurants, Sorrento. Though I was nine-months into my pregnancy, the cravings that I had developed months prior never seemed to cease, no matter how hard I tried to integrate healthier options into my diet for me and my unborn son’s sake. Losing this baby-weight would be a son-of-a-bitch.

Padding towards the front-door with a hand caressing my baby-bump, I peered out of the window at nothing in particular. The sun had set and considering I lived twenty minutes from Las Vegas, things were seemingly quiet in my neighborhood for a Saturday night. Then again, there was never that much commotion anyway.

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02.

DANE

Upon entering the restaurant, I noticed that it was extremely packed. People, both patrons and employees, were swarming about, fraternizing and enjoying the laid-back yet lively ambiance. They must have really wanted to see this bottle-tossing competition.

Remembering what Janice had instructed for me to do, I made my way towards the cherry-wood bar that was stationed in the center of the restaurant. Scouring the inside, I spotted two bartenders, one male and one female, but neither Janice.

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01.

JANICE Droplets of sweat seeped past my forehead and down towards my chin. Releasing a harsh breath, I used my gym-towel to gently pat around my heated face. After collecting myself for a moment longer, I hopped down from the treadmill, being sure to grab my iPhone and water bottle, which rested in the machinery’s provided holders.

After two hours of an exhausting yet exhilarating work-out, it was time to head back home and catch up on some much-needed and well-deserved rest.

I sauntered towards the lockers provided by the gym and using the designated key, opened the metal door to gather my personal belongings.

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trey-ff.tumblr.com is the link for the TWO new stories! i updated two chapters for both and in a week or so, there should be one for each. the chapter lists are trey-ff.tumblr.com/me4u and trey-ff.tumblr.com/therighttime

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TWENTY-TWO

Vanessa

I was back in the concrete jungle and honestly, I wanted to vomit. All of these old memories were suddenly coming back and it reminded me why I left in the first place. Trey wasn’t the only reason I left, but I just needed to be in a different environment. For some strange reason, I’m regretting this because I know one of these days I will have to come face to face with my mother. That’s something I’m not looking forward to and honestly, I know she doesn’t want to see me anyway.

They day I left New York, she threw so much shade. She hated the fact I was with Trey, or should I say a black man. She always threw out little subliminal shit whenever I was around the black boys in my neighborhood. She didn’t like it and said I would always have bad luck if I kept getting in relationships with one. That’s when I would hit her with the “we’re black too. We just speak Spanish and have a different culture from black Americans.” That’s when she’ll scream at me and say I should never say that. Meanwhile, she was married to my father, who was dark skin and to make things even more interesting, she hated to admit how her maternal grandmother was Haitian. I remember my grandmother telling me how her mother went her whole life saying she was Dominican, learned to speak  Spanish fluently and passed for being latina because she was “fair skinned”. The whole story was bizarre and I couldn’t believe all of the self-hate in my own family.

I’m not saying I hate my mother or anything, but I honestly don’t have any desire to be around her. If she’s still living a negative lifestyle, I don’t want to be a part of it. Why would I continue to let negative people in when I’m trying to make progression? It doesn’t make sense and I honestly don’t need the stress. I just want to live a better life for myself and my baby.

I don’t know why I was so nervous, but seeing my sister is going to be weird. Yes, we’ve established a relationship, but it’s still new. I just hope everything works out with this living arrangement.

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Secrets|Frustrated

R.Lum.R x Frustrated

I’m not alright, right now. I’m having trouble seeing you for what you do.I’m not alright, worn down. From make believing that you love me too… I’m frustrated, over you. Frustrated, I’m a fool. Frustrated, over you. Frustrated, I’m a fool…..

Stomach ache, headache, and throwing up was my morning. Mixing dark liquor with champagne was not the best decision. I felt like I was dying and that’s why I don’t go out anymore. If I needed anything, it was a whole day of rest. I needed something to get me through this ugly hangover and most importantly I needed a day to be away from everyone.

Looking at my snap chat, I realized how much fun I wasn’t planning on having. I was a drunk mess and I hated it. I always hated being the super drunk person in public, but hey whatever I had fun. The only thing that I kept thinking about was Terrance. I hated that Eric even knew him and it kept getting to me. I never asked what Eric did for a living and honestly, I didn’t give a damn. Now I’m regretting even sleeping with him because now I feel like that “girl”. I had sex with two guys who know one another, except I’m only in love with one. Yes, I love Terrance and it’s messed up because I wish I didn’t love him. Being in love is hard and it’s even harder when the person doesn’t know or doesn’t feel the same.

Getting out of my bed for the hundredth time, I heard a knock on my door. I already knew who it was, it was Terrance. He’s the only one who know’s where my new place is at; because he’s the one who purchased it. I looked through the peephole and it was him.

“Ronnie I know you see me. Open the door.” I didn’t even want to open it. I didn’t want him to know I was even here. “Alright.” After he said that I heard the knob turn and his ass hit me with the door. How the hell did he get a key?

“Damn, Terrance! What are you doing here and how did you get a key?”

“I told you to open the door and I had a key made.”

“Remind me to have the locks changed.” I rubbed my forehead and headed back to my room. I don’t know why he was here, but he could go back home for all I care.

Plopping down on my bed, I heard Terrance sigh. He does that a lot when he’s ready to ask me something serious. I knew what direction this was going in.

“You ready to tell the truth?”

“What are you talking about, Terrance?”

“About Eric.”

“Who is Eric?”

“Ronnie, just tell the truth.”

“I don’t know an Eric. I really don’t know and it would be nice if you trusted me.”

“How can I trust you when you said you don’t know him, yet you fucked him. Plus your picture was in his phone.” Picture? What the fuck?!

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TWENTY

Vanessa

Two weeks later….

“So let’s talk about forgiving. A lot of us don’t forgive the ones that hurt us. We don’t realize that we need to forgive, not for them but for ourselves.” I was trying my best to listen to Maria, but Trey was on my mind. Not because I missed him, but because I hate his stupid ass. I still couldn’t believe he had a child and on the top of that, the child wasn’t ours.

When I say I wanted to kill him, I really mean it. I went through so much just to still be disappointed. He’s always disappointing me; fucking bastard. I hate him and I can’t wait for his life to crumble. I can never forgive him for this. I knew he was a cheater, but to know he was out here releasing his sperm into every woman is disgusting. Not only has he gotten me pregnant, but Ashley was pregnant and it’s a known fact this other bitch was pregnant three years ago. He’s so fucking careless and I wish bad things on him. I hate him so much that I feel like crying, but now I don’t have any more tears. I’m all cried out and all I want to do is kill him.

I know I was supposed to be listening to Maria, but that wasn’t happening. I had so much hate in my heart. Forgiveness wasn’t a priority right now, but my wrath was. I was about to make sure Trey would get bad karma. I know karma comes on its own, but I was about to make it happen sooner. With it being a day before Halloween, he was in for a little treat.

“You okay? You’re sweating and you’re all flushed in the face.” Jada whispered to me.

“I’m fine.” To be honest I wasn’t. I don’t know what it was, but I was feeling weak and wanted to pass out. All of this Trey drama had my heart rate going up and all of this sweating, chills, and fatigue had been going on since I’ve found out.

Sitting there for another five minutes, I decided to excuse myself. This feeling was getting the best of me and I needed to be around cooler air and a bed.

“In sorry to interrupt you Maria, but I -”

“Oh my god, Vanessa!” I heard Maria’s voice but every sound faded away after that.

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FIFTEEN|Divorce?

DOMINIC

Los Angeles, 11:30 am

My body was still in the process of healing. I thanked God every day since I've woken up from my coma. I had just got out of the hospital a few days ago and my doctor told me I should be on bed rest. Of course, I didn't listen because I still had business to take care of. Carmen was out of town on business, again and I told her she shouldn't go since she's pregnant. Plus I needed help, but Carmen said needed to go on this trip because it was important. She had business in Chicago, so of course, I'm worried. I know I should be the last person telling her not to leave because I'm worried about her safety, but if I don't focus on my business then I won't have one. I was only going to be in Los Angeles for two days; then I was heading back home. I just hope I don't run into Samarah while I'm in town.

As much as I would like to see Samarah, seeing her wouldn't be a good thing considering I'm trying to focus on my wife and my business. I wanted to thank her for coming to the hospital, but Carmen didn't want me having any contact with her. The only reason I knew she was there was because of my mom and sister. Whether Carmen liked it or not, I was going to contact Samarah soon. I know she has a so called boyfriend and everything, but I don't care. I know she can't even focus on that fake relationship without worrying about me.

"You need to be getting ready for this meeting, it's in an hour. What are you waiting on?" Aaliyah said as she came into my room.

"Do you work for me, or do I work for you? How did you get in here anyway?"

"I made the front desk give me a key. You know you're sort of handicap now."

"Yeah, yeah don't remind me. Can you hand me my shirt over there?"

"Okay, so after the meeting, you get to look at the property you're trying to purchase. Hopefully, the space is big enough. You know all the hotspots that celebrities frequent are in Hollywood."

"I know, that's why I think this is perfect. I actually think this one will pull me double the amount."

"You think? You already do good in NYC."

"That is true, but for some reason, I feel like I'll pull even more money in. I'm even thinking about staying here for a few months after the grand opening." Living in Los Angeles for a while would be a good thing, but I know for a fact Carmen wouldn't go for it.

I've always thought about moving, but Carmen was always said we weren't moving because she didn't want to. I sacrificed a lot for her, yet she doesn't do the same. I honestly don't know what's gotten into her lately. She isn't the same person and I'm sick of this shit. It's like now I feel forced to still be with her since she's pregnant, but I really want to be separated. I feel like it's the best thing for us and I want her to realize that. She already acts like she doesn't want to be with me, so we can take the steps to getting a divorce.

Divorce has been running through my mind for a while, but something kept holding me back from actually making that move. Even before the baby, I still couldn't find it in me to actually go through with it. I know once I tell her I want a divorce and everyone finds out, everyone will probably be happy. I know my mother will be happy as hell. She has this hate for Carmen and I still don't know the actual reason. A lot of people don't care for her, but I didn't care about that in the beginning. I didn't get married to them, I got married to her. I loved her, but Carmen acts like she doesn't feel the same.

"Hmm, you think the Mrs. wants to move?"

"I really don't care if she does." I said buttoning up my shirt.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"You don't know half, Aaliyah. Next time you see me, I'll probably be damn near single."

"Hmm, well you know I hate getting into people's business. Just make sure you know the decision you make is the right one."

"Believe me it is." I grabbed my shoes and thought about all of this. I wanted to be done with Carmen and her shit. It was stressful and that's something I didn't need. She put so much stress on me and she didn't care. I just hope this whole separation and divorce shit can end well and not ugly.

***

"Well that went well and plus the building is nice. I actually can't wait for the grand opening, but the question still remains, will I have a job?"

"Really, Aaliyah? You know you will. Why would you think that?"

"Because you plan on moving out here."

"Only for a few months, though. You can still help with my other club. Don't even worry."

"Okay, I'll hold you to it. Let's hurry up and get some food." We decided to go to this little sushi restaurant right in Beverly Hills. I'm not really a sushi person, but Aaliyah wanted to go. The restaurant was packed and I didn't want feel like staying, but my eyes couldn't stop focusing on this one person.

The feeling that I had was something different. My blood was boiling and I couldn't move fast enough to get an explanation. I saw Carmen and she was here with another man. The fact that her ass told a whole fucking lie about going to Chicago pissed me off. Who was this nigga? She really thought it was cool to lie and to be with someone else?

"Where are you going, Dominic?"

"I need to handle something, hold on." I know I was on crutches, but that wasn't about to stop shit.

Heading towards Carmen, the guy she was with made eye contact with me and I could hear Carmen asking him, what was wrong. That's when she turned around and she was shocked to see me. You could see the fear on her face and just from her body language, she was uncomfortable and knew she was about to be embarrassed.

"Chicago, huh? When did you leave, Carmen?"

"Dominic, what are you doing here?

"I should be asking you the same thing? Who is this? He know's you're married?"

"Dominic, can you please leave? You're embarrassing me."

"Nah, you out here with other niggas and you failed to tell me that you really weren't going to Chicago." Her face was turning red and that's when she had a smirk on her face.

"I don't have to tell you anything. You don't care about me anyway!" She raised her voice and people were peering over to us.

"Carmen, calm down. You're pregnant, no need to yell."

"Fuck out of here, Carmen. I don't care about you?! Why are you lying? Oh, so he know's you're pregnant with our child too?" He looked at me with a confused look on his face like he didn't know or something.

"You didn't tell him?" He chuckled sarcastically and shook his head.

"Tell me what?"

"Nothing, now leave Dominic!"

"No, he deserves to know that our baby has nothing to do with him." After I heard our baby, that's when I blacked out and my fist landed on the side of his face.

Fighting on crutches wasn't the easiest thing, nor was it the smartest. I heard Aaliyah screaming at me and I completely ignored it. I couldn't believe this nigga said "our baby" what the fuck was he talking about? Carmen was a lot of things, but the fact that she cheated and got pregnant by someone else, just shows how much she really cared about this marriage. Yeah, I cheated with Samarah, but that was a mistake. I did it once and never did it again because I was thinking about my wife. It's clear Carmen has another life. Now it makes me wonder how long she's been cheating.

"I fucking hate you, Dominic! You ruin everything!" I heard Carmen screaming and that's when she rushed over to him. I was done with her ass for good.

"Sir, you need to leave now!" It was security and he tried his best to escort me and Aaliyah out. I was heated and I wanted to kill that nigga.

Getting inside of the car, I was pissed. I couldn't believe Carmen. I'm her husband and she acted like I didn't exist. What type of shit was that? It was clear that he was more important than me and honestly, he could have her. When I get back east, I was going to get a lawyer and make sure this divorce could happen. Plus I wanted a DNA test just to be sure. If I'm not the father, I'm done with her for real.

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Wow, I need to update.