thelaughingtree

[thelaughingtree]

notable eldest siblings:

robert baratheon

tywin lannister

cersei lannister

brandon stark

robb stark

balon greyjoy

catelyn tully

doran martell

aerys targaryen

rhaegar targaryen*

robb and cat are the odd ones out here. you could possibly make arguments for doran and brandon being fine, but they look bad in comparison to elia & oberyn and ned. rhaegar's arguably an only child for most of his life, but given he died, that does mean is that viserys (lol) is arguable quasi-eldest from the age of 8 onwards.

what gives.

yeah yeah anti-blonde bias we get it, but let's talk about why 90% of the eldest siblings in ASOIAF are incompetent and/or total cunts? (not you Robb Stark we love you Robb Stark, part of the 10%). GRRM your middle child propaganda is showing.

[thelaughingtree]

yeah yeah anti-blonde bias we get it, but let's talk about why 90% of the eldest siblings in ASOIAF are incompetent and/or total cunts? (not you Robb Stark we love you Robb Stark, part of the 10%). GRRM your middle child propaganda is showing.

[thelaughingtree]

I gotta be up in 4 hrs it’s 4 am anyways heres some bran & arya. They are judging u. Shit talking. Gossiping. One might even say spilling the tea.

[thelaughingtree]

"i don't comment on ao3 because i don't wanna be annoying or weird" skill issue + you greatly underestimate the power dynamic here, writing multi paragraph comments is like feeding a bunch of deeply insane and possibly starved ducks at the park and watch them go completely mad over having received a piece of bread

[thelaughingtree]

i think dunk and egg should continue forever so they just keep getting roped into increasingly ludicrous political events. lucius vorenus and titus pullo getting into shenanigans during the fall of the roman republic except it's a giant and a bald kid personally involved in every blackfyre rebellion

[thelaughingtree]

You know with how common it is for Westerosi ppl to label Targaryen women as “(insert Targaryen man) with teats” I think they all just rlly wanna motorboat men. I think they want to motorboat Maegor but they’re tryna hide it.

[thelaughingtree]

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

[thelaughingtree]

learning names

[thelaughingtree]

robert baratheon kinda gay for dreaming about pounding another man with his big hammer every night

[thelaughingtree]

dad mom and their weird asf catboy

[thelaughingtree]

[puts tinfoil hat on] OKAY but more of us should be congratulating cersei lannister, the most successful accelerationist westeros has ever seen---

[thelaughingtree]

currently on my roster for smash or pass:

stannis baratheon

bloodraven

cersei lannister

viserys 3 targaryen

otto hightower

theon greyjoy

bittersteel

jaime lannister

criteria for entry:

over 18 (duh)

will generate interest, i.e. needs to be a character people know and care about

not an obvious 'yes' or 'no'. (for example: dunk is an obvious yes, aerys 2 is an obvious no.)

won't generate the most unhinged discourse in my notes i have ever seen (rhaegar is not on the list for this reason)

most importantly, will be funny (and encourage people to leave funny tags in my notes). i do this because it's fun.

i will do this as long as it amuses me. if you have any suggestions for my list that meet my criteria, feel free to reply / send me an ask

[thelaughingtree]

SMASH OR PASS: WESTEROS EDITION

art credit: [x]

arguments for:

insane magical powers, COULD make it very interesting

off-putting aloof goth levels quite frankly off the charts

is a bastard, which adds a gauche air of impropriety to it all

probably a bit of a freak let's be real

arguments against:

pathetically hung up over his sister and fought his brother for her attentions.

too busy single-handedly running cold war deep state intelligence operations for most of his life to really play the field much.

war criminal, even by westeros' unhinged standards.

stuck in a tree

sort of guy who calls people names like "Lord Butterbutt". a bit cringe imo.

[thelaughingtree]

Arya Stark Appreciation Week: Day 4 -  Foreshadowing

“The Lannisters are proud,” Jon observed. “You’d think the royal sigil would be sufficient, but no. He makes his mother’s House equal in honor to the king’s.”

“The woman is important too!” Arya protested. Jon chuckled. “Perhaps you should do the same thing, little sister. Wed Tully to Stark in your arms.”

“A wolf with a fish in its mouth?” It made her laugh.  - Arya, AGoT

She splashed noisily through the shallows and threw herself into the deeper water, her legs churning. The current was strong but she was stronger. She swam, following her nose. The river smells were rich and wet, but those were not the smells that pulled her. She paddled after the sharp red whisper of cold blood, the sweet cloying stench of death. She chased them as she had often chased a red deer through the trees, and in the end she ran them down, and her jaw closed around a pale white arm. She shook it to make it move, but there was only death and blood in her mouth. By now she was tiring, and it was all she could do to pull the body back to shore. As she dragged it up the muddy bank, one of her little brothers came prowling, his tongue lolling from his mouth. She had to snarl to drive him off, or else he would have fed. Only then did she stop to shake the water from her fur. The white thing lay facedown in the mud, her dead flesh wrinkled and pale, cold blood trickling from her throat. Rise, she thought. Rise and eat and run with us.  - Arya, ASoS

I think it’s pretty obvious by now that Arya will meet up with Lady Stoneheart and I believe she will give mercy to her mother.

I highly recommend reading this post by @gendrie that explores the important relationship between Arya and Catelyn

[thelaughingtree]

[thelaughingtree]

ser saviour

[thelaughingtree]

I love your twow speculations but do you actually think we’ll ever read it? 😭