thelittleahogethatcould - Tumblr blog

[thelittleahogethatcould]

You have been given my permission to come into my ask box and splash water on my muse.

[thelittleahogethatcould]

ooc

Alright so I’ve been away for a while, though I’m not abandoning the blog. Between bad news (the death of my dear 18yo cat has shaken me up, he’s been sick with cancer since even before I stopped posting) and good news (new interests) I haven’t had the motivation for rping, but I have all intentions of returning when things settle down a little bit. I also have some plans involving new characters and some other things, but those are all maybes right now. For those who have been nice enough to stick with me, it would be super great if I knew who would want to rp with me when I return, so shoot me a message or like this and I’ll make a starter for you when I get back!

[thelittleahogethatcould]

“Why is it still cold? This should be illegal.”

[thelittleahogethatcould]

I’m trying to move past this shitstorm and get back to roleplaying, so if anyone wants to rp just like this for a starter.

[thelittleahogethatcould]

ooc

Someone submitted an anon message to me, and while I definitely agree with the message, I’m not sure if posting it would be good to do because I’m sure anyone who would benefit from seeing said message unfollowed me because I think bullying is wrong.

I kind of don’t really want to talk about the subject anymore because the people involved are too dense to realize the reality of the situation. They’re basically akin to pedophiles who blame a child, who doesn’t know any better, for “provoking” them even though they’re the adults in the situation and are the ones who are supposed to be responsible and put their foot down and say no. If the child persists they should continue to say no and move on so they don’t hurt anyone. But as we all know that’s not what happened. Whoever is the anon who sent it, if you really want to get your message across you should probably put it on your own blog. Not that I disagree with the message or don’t want people to be clear that I don’t support harassment no matter the reason, I just don’t think it would be beneficial to anyone right now. They’ll never learn.

[thelittleahogethatcould]

popcommunism:

i have a pretty big issue with how people tend to assume the words “neediness”, “emotional manipulation”, and “abuse” all mean the same thing. like, someone with bpd who is texting you all the time and wanting you to guide them through their extreme emotions is emotionally needy. if they talk about wanting to kill themselves, they probably want to kill themselves, because they have bpd and that’s….kind of our thing.

i have a big guilt complex about “being manipulative” and my therapist was like…you know, in order to be manipulative you have to actually want to influence some kind of outcome. you’re expressing your emotions with whatever skills you have; it can be overwhelming, and people have the right to set boundaries around it, but it’s not an intentional act of manipulation. and then, like, manipulation is something people do all the time- sometimes for survival. abusers use manipulation, absolutely. abused people also have to carefully manipulate situations in order to navigate getting the validation, care, and sometimes even basic necessities they need inside of an abusive relationship. when you learn that asking for what you need directly gets you ignored or punished, you have to find roundabout ways. is this something it’s good to work on? absolutely, it’s a maladaptive coping skill that can cause damage in non-abusive relationships. but it’s not inherently abuse. abuse is when you use emotional manipulation in an attempt to control another person. this power dynamic is really crucial, because otherwise we come to the conclusion that everyone who needs help but doesn’t know how to ask for it effectively (which describes part of my bpd experience, at least) is the same as the people who hurt them in the first place. and that’s….awful

oh my god I love this post so much? half of the things people are calling “abuse” on this website are situations in which people don’t know how to deal w mentally ill ppl who are displaying Less Desireable symptoms (especially folks like us w bpd)

[thelittleahogethatcould]

“What?! N-no! I was saying we don’t! Not that I wanted anything of the sort! I swear it’s like you never have a clean thought!”

i miss BOTHERing you hue

“So does that mean you admit that you enjoy being a pain in the ass?”

[thelittleahogethatcould]

shoutout to roleplayers that get easily stressed. shoutout to roleplayers that have to take lots of breaks to recharge. shoutout to roleplayers who can’t type super long replies regularly. shoutout to roleplayers with anxiety that have trouble interacting with new people. shoutout to roleplayers who have to push through jealous feelings when partners they adore rp with other people.

[thelittleahogethatcould]

“Erm, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. We don’t have that sort of relationship.”

“As for the demonstration, I respectfully decline.”

i miss BOTHERing you hue

“So does that mean you admit that you enjoy being a pain in the ass?”

[thelittleahogethatcould]

“I had a nightmare the other day that I was playing a game called “Five Nights at Peents”. It was awful.”

[thelittleahogethatcould]

He sighs. “I already told you I’m not yours. And I don’t even want to know what you mean by that last part.”

i miss BOTHERing you hue

“So does that mean you admit that you enjoy being a pain in the ass?”

[thelittleahogethatcould]

i miss BOTHERing you hue

“So does that mean you admit that you enjoy being a pain in the ass?”

[thelittleahogethatcould]

Why am I not surprised that someone who pretended to be nice to me but actually secretly hated me, saying they want to rp and ignore me every time I attempted to do so, ignored me on skype even though they said they wanted to be friends and talk with me, then outright ignored me when I asked them why they were doing those things, sides with people who go out of their way to harass and bully people just because they don’t like them. Why am I not surprised.

[thelittleahogethatcould]

I do want to apologize to those who actually want to rp, I’m sure it’s frustrating to see all the drama on the dash and I don’t blame anyone who unfollowed me if they weren’t involved in the situation and don’t support bullying. If you support the bullies though, then good riddance honestly.

I don’t really care if people hate me. I do care that people spread lies about my friend who just wanted to rp like everyone else. I do care about how terribly the situation was handled, although I’m not terribly surprised considering their track record. 

Hopefully people will get bored of being ignorant shitheads and get back to their lives, and hopefully they’ll just mingle within their little stereotypical middle school clique and not target anyone else. But this is the pokemon fandom, so I doubt it. They’re just going to find someone else to beat up on. 

[thelittleahogethatcould]

(diff anon) Tabitha has harassed people in the community. I am one of those victims. Trying to reason with him is impossible when he just blames you for 'attacking him' even though you just want to talk it out and meet ends. If you try to support yourself he pulls the suicide card, and that's just disgusting. I'm sorry, but Tumblr is not the place to go if you're feeling thoughts of suicide. You need to get help in the real world and back away from the computer, because it ends up hurting others

I’ve discovered the “cause” of this so-called harassment, and I understand now why people think that’s what they’ve done. Basically, for those unaware, they believed people to be friends of theirs when in fact said people didn’t like them at all. They became clingy to said people...again, they’re autistic and really didn’t know any better. Did they make mistakes? Yes, I’m not denying that. I apologize on their behalf for the fact that they have hurt people. But other people do need to know they aren’t entirely blameless either. Instead of being very clear with them, they gave mixed signals, and while neurotypicals tend to understand that ignoring means no, it’s very difficult for those with autism to understand that. I know thats what it means, but I’m much older and have more experience. Having autism again doesn’t excuse their behavior, but you can’t blame them for you not understanding that they need to be spoken to in a certain way to get them to understand you. If you can’t handle that, then don’t deal with them. I know it’s hard to deal with, but I can assure you they’re suffering more. You can’t blame them for having a disability that severely hinders their ability to communicate and assume that they’re speaking the same way as a neurotypical and that their words mean the same thing that a neurotypical doing the same thing means. People made that assumption and misunderstood their intent, something that commonly happens to autistic people and I’ve experienced many times. In fact when I brought it up to them to try and explain why people thought that way, they thought I hated them. But I understand. They’re young and scared and lonely. I talked to them and they never once tried to manipulate me. They were afraid and didn’t quite understand what I was saying, and thought I was angry with them, but I understand that they are autistic and I knew how to talk to them. Being autistic myself, and having a friend similar to them with severe autism since I was 14, I know that they don’t mean any harm. They never said a mean word to me. They don’t have anyone to help them in this “real world”. Why, then, is it okay for everyone else to blog about their problems, but when they do it suddenly its “harassment” and “manipulation”?I never said they hadn’t done anything wrong at all. All I said was that it was wrong to bully them? Just because someone have personal issues with someone doesn’t give them the right to bully them? And you know what else? None of this even has anything to do with the situation that I talked about in the first place. It has to do with WPIIA. It has nothing to do with whatever happened outside of that. My post was about how the mod failed to do their job as a mod and that bullying is wrong. That’s all. 

[thelittleahogethatcould]

Oh my god thank you for actually being on Tabitha's side on this whole thing... I swear, you are like the only person I follow that actually sticks up for him. I just feel so horrible whenever I think of the most recent period of time in which he was getting harassed... So it's a great relief to me to know that there's someone who supports him that doesn't only show it on anon. Thank you so much. :)

They’re a nice, well-meaning person and it’s honestly terrifying that so many people think it’s okay to treat someone the way they’ve been treated just because they don’t like them. I’d stand up for them even if I disliked them just because no one deserves to be ganged up on and bullied like that. I honestly don’t understand how people can’t get this concept. I honestly don’t even know if they’re okay.

[thelittleahogethatcould]

Well alright. You know, I have a cousin with severe autism and my parent works for this stuff, so ofc I would have no idea how it works. And about growing up? You need to practice what you preach. I'm wasting my time, because everything anyone tells you goes in one ear and out the other.

Oh look, another “I totally know more about autism than an autistic person because I know someone who is.” claim. Man, you sure showed me! I have a parent who is a programmer, so using your logic I know everything about programming as well. “this stuff” makes it sound like you think people with autism are sub-human, which is a big reason why nearly every one of us have experienced abuse at the hands of so-called “professionals”.I guess you missed the memo that I have enough maturity not to bully people, especially not children. Only extremely small children don’t know that bullying is wrong. Time and time again I explain this, but you still don’t get it, so who is the one who isn’t listening?