themaxbox

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oh for sure

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we share a warriors bond (we were both in the same fandom at the same time and now neither of us are in that fandom anymore but we’re still beloved mutuals)

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my best friend PROBABLY FRAUD really needs to give me space sometimes

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my best friend PROBABLY FRAUD really needs to give me space sometimes

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writing mood™️

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ALT

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A cartoon where Elmer Fudd gets married and gives up hunting Bugs Bunny to live happily with his wife only to discover 30 years into a blissful relationship that his wife was actually Bugs the entire time and also their three wonderful children were also Bugs

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Work vacuum died. This is the fifth one since I started working here five years ago.

The first one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The second one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The third one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The fourth one died for unknown reasons that involved my coworker vacuuming up rocks.

The fifth one died a few minutes ago and it was a big mystery and my coworker was like “oh I don’t know what happened it just overtaxed for some reason” so I looked inside the hose and—get this—it was jammed with rocks.

He keeps buying bigger and more expensive vacuums and complaining about how shitty and faulty the last ones were and every time I suggest something like “what if you didn’t vacuum up rocks” he’s like oh no it is the vacuums who are wrong.

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Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

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I love how these are from an Unreality subreddit but to my eye they just read like regular Tumblr shitposts. Did we cross-pollinate or something

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but how did you bruise your peanits

I didn't. My surgeon did.

Got me balls chopped off (based!)

Woke up with a bruised peenor (cringe!)

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when i was a camp counselor a billion years ago i once met a tiny 10yo girl in all black clothes with spiky bracelets and teeny combat boots and a tiny slipknot tshirt and shoulder length blonde hair (with the right attitude to make it look like a counterculture shaggyboy cut) who GLARED at me as she shook my hand and when i asked her name she said, in the deadly serious tone of a mortal threat: "...Barbie." i nodded gravely and said nothing. i only ever addressed her as "boss."

anyway i wonder how he's doing now

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bat at hornets nest maybe but "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism" refers to low income communities needing to choose between survival vs being eco friendly. not you continuing to watch the harry potter movies

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when ur talking to a new online friend and they say "bloody" for the first time

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if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people