thementalistscandidate

[thementalistscandidate]

Keke Palmer as Emerald Haywood in Nope 04/??

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silly seals from outer space

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during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

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[thementalistscandidate]

you tell any adult over the age of 50 that you're looking for a job and they're frothing at the mouth to offer insight bc they think your young and/or lazy ass has never even conceived what they're about to tell you. and it's printing your resume onto a very disposable piece of paper and walking into the workplace and handing it to a random employee

[thementalistscandidate]

astrologers will call them good friends

[thementalistscandidate]

i do however have absurd leg to torso proportions so whenever my brother who's half a foot taller than me drives my car he's like "it's so funny i don't need to adjust the seat" bc i'm just 90% leg like a newborn horse so one thing i'm gonna do ☝️ is reach the pedals

[thementalistscandidate]

Despite what some adults seem to think, teenagers are fully human. And some of them read as intensely and keenly as if their life depended on it. Sometimes maybe it does.

Ursula K. Le Guin, A Wizard of Earthsea's postface

[thementalistscandidate]

the construction workers have something to say

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Everyone knows women can't get pregnant

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Drew this for Make a Terrible Comic Day 2025.

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Wage slave markiplier considered nsfw

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'this property says it has nine acres but those neighbours look pretty clo-'

oh.

ohhhhhhhhh no

[thementalistscandidate]

with how much time my cat spends in his litter box (and how loud that time is), i can only assume he has the greatest litter zen garden in the lands

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cannot stop thinking about this tweet… AUGH 😭

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[hunched trembling in a dark corner with a knife] I can be normal about normal things and I can prove it

[thementalistscandidate]

Skilltober #24 - Composure

(redraw of an image from last year and damn do I like it a lot more than the original. Also yeah I know it's not a Composure Check but. That's how Kim rolls ok)