themildlyanxiousmage - Tumblr blog

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SUCK MY HOLIDAY WEEKEND🫤

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He’s looking for a new home.

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This is probably the stupidest low effort screenshot edit I've done for a shitpost yet, but please enjoy my depiction of Lae'zel if she was in the matrix.

My phone's default editor doesn't have a brush size option

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I took Azandar dragon slaying.

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ESO Companion Portraits

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Why can't RNJesus just give us the anniversary style pages? Is he stupid?

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In winter and cold climates, do tieflings wear socks on their tails? Like long socks that look like normal socks? I feel like tails would get cold, like wearing a sleeveless shirt in the snow.

Imagine you're married to Zevlor and you make him matching hat, scarf, and tail sock sets. Like with cables or fancy Nordic style colorwork. I would want to put orcas on them. Or reindeer.

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Which Baldur's Gate are you?

I don't mean to insult any play styles. I, too, am included in the above.

Sorry for the low effort chart, but I don't feel like going to my computer to make it. Also, I stole pics from the wiki again.

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Last night I dreamt that I was married to Azandar al-Cybiades. It wasn't sexual or anything, but I was having to help him pick his outfit for our day trip to Hawaii (dream logic or wayshrines, idk). We couldn't find any of his plain t shirts to go under his blue Hawaiian shirt, and it turns out it was because he stopped putting them in the laundry basket, so they never got washed. He was frustrated and started complaining about how he didn't like the feeling of the Hawaiian shirt being buttoned closed.

Whose fault was that Azandar?

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I'm disappointed in you Tumblr. There's a caring, fatherly DILF, and there's barely any hornyposting or fangirling (gender neutral) for this magnificent character. Where's the love for Varsh Ko'kuu?

(pic stolen from the wiki, sorry. Don't have screenshots)

Where's the reader insert fics where you raise the egg together or whatever the heck we all collectively fantasize about? Where's the art to express yearning for living in a small cottage with 3 cats while making artisanal bread? He's right there, wanting to protect an unhatched egg in a culture that demands he kill it, and he's holding on and getting more emotional than his gith upbringing allows. This is like prime Tumblr obsession bait. He's even weirdly thin and has a monocle. I don't know what more you all want.

Yes, I know I'm included in my disappointment, but I'm not a good writer, and I have zero romantic experience, so you would be disappointed in my work. Also, every attempt of mine to write anything drifts into parody because I can't take myself seriously. But there are some great writers and visual artists who I think could do this character justice. I challenge you all to prove me right.

This drunken ramble has gone on long enough, but please spread the word about this beautiful character. He's like the only attractive male gith ever (fight me), and only a handful of people acknowledge it. I beg of you, let's start a wave of unhealthy obsessions. We can only read hornyposts about Astarion and Halsin for so long. I love those two, but we need variety, and this dude seems to check a lot of boxes for unhealthy obsessions. Just look at him, and look at how he doesn't treat you with as much disdain as the other gith do. We can fix him, Tumblr. We can fix this emotionally repressed sad DILF man together.

Idk how to end this bye

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I always thought his base game armor looked more flattering with the higher collar and wider shoulders, but what do you all think? Feel free to share your reasoning.

Pics stolen from UESP and the fandom wiki

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"I feel like we could've kept at that all day."

WE HAVE, SHARP!

WE HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT GEYSERS ALL DAY AND STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN THE PAGE, SHARP!

I don't think you're taking this seriously enough.

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You're probably safest with one of the Morag Tong members, but idk

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POV: Lucien Lachance tries to recruit a HOK that hasn't slept for a solid month

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Why don't I see more Vorstag appreciation? I know it seems like he's got the personality of white bread, but the man turns into a fine sourdough in dwemer ruins.

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Pinterest find <3

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Oop who pissed him off?