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My mom: i gave birth to you, they had to cut you out of me after 12 hours of labor, i fed you from my own breast and you have the GALL not to do every single thing i ask, and to have your own personality???? I gave BIRTH to you

Me:

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Halloween is only several weeks away. You know what that means! PLEDGE YOUR ALLEGIANCE TO THE SKELETON WAR. OR ELSE SKELETONS WILL BLAME US IF THEY LOSE AND PUT BONES IN ALL OF OUR SOUP. IT’S AWFUL.

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I've been laughing at this for too long

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wakes up and goes to my assigned security guard position standing near a barrel that’s bright red and has a flame printed on it

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We have to collect all seven chaos vaginal eggs so Gwynneth Paltrow can defeat the coronavirus

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1972/1973 Flair PsychoFLAIRapy Coloring Book Calendar (via: ebay)

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quarantine feels kinda like that area between christmas and new years where i have no idea what day of the week it is, or if i’m supposed to be going to work. AM and PM blend together. i’ve taken four naps in 10 hours. leftovers are my primary foodsource. got that weird sunday anxiety except it’s every day for the next 2 weeks

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tumblr is just talking to yourself but for an audience

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🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

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i vote that once a country becomes quarantine literally any outfit becomes fair game. if you have to leave your house, do it in a cloak, cape, leather jacket, full suit of armor. it’s pandemic time and i for one believe pandemic time deserves a Look. I want people to study this moment not only for history but for fashion. 

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