themuppetpoker

[themuppetpoker]

[themuppetpoker]

Goodnight

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

Whatever. Now that I am unemployed, I can finally work on my Magnum Opus.

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

H,i have you heard conspiracy that you're actually Strange Aeons doing a bit? What are your thoughts on this theory?

You will know The Truth at Dashcon 2.

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

Greetings Homosapians.

Is there anyone there? Is anyone left on Tumblr? Tumb er dot com. Webbed site, hashtag! I am the JOKER! I AM THE JOKER! I AM THE JOKER! Hi Ho, Kermit the Frog, here! Muppet the Hole, here! Don't be so coy. You can call me Croaker! You can call me! Don't be so coy.

Kermit. Joker. Bro Strider. Adam. Vriska. Dark Eve. Jesus is sleeping. Applejack is awake.

♤♡◇♧

DNI:

The Muppet Joker. I am scared of what I have created and will close my eyes when posting from now on so I am not harmed by my own hubris

Emos and those who indulge in the Chemical Romance. You people are sick

Minors, people over 30, and people who are 25. That is the age of arrogance

People who have a gemini moon in their astrological chart. You people are sick

People who were raised Lutheran

Twitter users

Tumblr users

Testosterone users. Just kidding love you Trans Genders OwO glomps you :3

People who identify with either binary gender. It's 2024 grow up and be Nonby (Short for Non Binary)

Those of you who do not understand the intellectual depths of Homestuck or misunderstand its themes... looking at you Karkat x John shippers

Mr. Strange. You may look at my blog but only when I am offline. If I catch you being online at the same time as me... *I evil smile and you get scared* I'LL MUPPING KICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!

Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Heh.

Run while you can.

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

Can anyone hear me anymore?

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

Maybe Alexander knows what to do. I will break him out of Monk Jail. And then...

And then I will sit aimlessly and wait for the dirt to take me

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

Death by fire. Fitting that I meet my end the same way my plushie did. That feels like an eternity ago...

I can smell the smoke filling up the hallways of the monastery. I accept my fate. Was it ever real? Did it ever even matter? Will they bury me as Colter?

Ah well. I suppose it does not matter now

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

No one's mupped me there in a DAMN HOT MINUTE

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

I am going to Real Jail

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

im fien dont worry about me. you should focus on doign good at monk school

Oh sure well in that case I'll just leave you in the hands of your kidnappers sounds grea

MILTON YOU SILLY FUCKING BILLY I AM COMING TO RESCUE YOU, MONK SCHOOL BE DAMNED,

BECAUSE YOU MATTER MORE TO ME THAN GOD!

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

Milton... I am bald and afraid... I miss your Wet Cat Essence

oopsie ive been kidnapped :(

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

sure id have sex with a lot of the muppets. But not all of them.

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

My liege you're not saying you would stoop to fuck Gonzo? Or Miss Piggy? My liege, what has become of you?!

Perhaps in my effort to pursue God I have fallen from His light. Did Lucifer imagine Gonzo's sinful touch as he fell from the heavens? Did his skin crawl with shame as he himself crawled, beastlike, through the mud of Eden, wings broken and Muppet Lust tarnishing what little purity remained? Fuck I hope they don't put me in Monk Jail for this

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

Wait, you're actually joining a monastery they're actually letting you do that?

Yes. I passed the psychological evaluation. Only one of them knows of my Tumblr presence but he will not tell on me because he is "hella chill"

[themuppetpoker]

Poke

how are you using tumblr if youre not allowed to use your phone?

I am being very sneaky. Tumblr is my vice and I cannot stay away from it for too long or I start to morph into a beast I cannot recognize