themysteriousmissf-blog

[themysteriousmissf-blog]

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Kotlc edition

Fitz, in a top hat and red coat: oh

Fitz: well imagine

Fitz: as I’m pacing the pews in a church corridor and I can’t help but to hear, no I can’t help but to hear an exchanging of words

Sophie, to Linh: I love you

Linh, to Sophie: I love you too

Biana: what a beautiful wedding, what a beautiful wedding

Dex: ah yes but what a shame, what a shame to poor groom’s bride is a whore

*grady, edaline, della, Alden, Sandor, grizel, etc burst through the door*

*camera pans to a very confused keefe in a wedding dress*

Fitz: I CHIME IN WITH A HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR NO ITS MUCH BETTER TO FACE THESE KIND OF THINGS WITH A SENSE OF POISE AND RATIONALITY

Fitz, voice slightly tired: I CHIME IN *deep breath* WITH A HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR NO

Fitz, weary: tam can I please stop

Tam, in a groom’s outfit: no keep going you’re ruining it

Fitz: *sighs*

Fitz: NO ITS MUCH BETTER TO FACE THESE KIND OF THINGS WITH A SENSE OF

Fitz: oh

Fitz: well in fact

Tam: if you look at it this way I mean technically our marriage is saved

Sophie: and this calls for a toast so pour the champagne pour the champagne ohh

Sophie: well in fact

Tam: if you look at it this way I mean technically our marriage is saved

Linh, exasperated: and this calls for a toast so pour the champagne pour the champagne

Dex and Biana simultaneously: yessssss

Wylie: *drums, with a tire expression and wanting to go home*

Fitz: I chime in with a havent you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door no its much better to face these kind of things with a sense of poise and rationality

Fitz, looking at a piece of paper in his hand and sighing: I chime in with a havent you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door no its much better to face these kind of things with a sense of

Fitz: poiiissssseseee aaaannnnnnddddddd���

Keefe and Tam: *arguing, keefe gives up, throws his bouquet on the floor dramatically, and storms out of the room, tam yelling at him

Fitz: raattttiiiooonalittyy

Dex: *jumps up from pew and follows keefe outside*

Fitz: AAAAGGGGGAAAAAAIIINNN

Wylie: *drums*

Fitz, with tears in his eyes: tam please

Tam: no this is what I’ve been waiting for my entire life, shut up before you ruin my wedding

Fitz, a tear cascading down his cheek dramatically: I chime in, havent you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door no its much better to face these kind of things with a sense of poise and rationality

Fitz: I chime in—

*outside are keefe and Dex, pretending to make out but very unenthusiasticly*

Fitz: havent you people ever heard of, closinh the goddamn door no—

Tam, pretending to be surprised and outraged: *le gasp*

*keefe hastily smudges lipstick on his face*

Fitz, straight up crying now: it’s much better to face these kind of things with a sense of poiiiiisssssse annnnndd rationalityyyyyyyyyyyy

AGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIINNNN

*tam puts the top hat on, while everyone is dancing behind him*

*linh is hula hooping, sophie is hula hooping on stilts, Biana is on a fucking unicycle , Wylie is sitting on the ground contemplating life, Fitz is sobbing, Dex is wondering why he agreed to do this, keefe is weirded out but having fun nonetheless, and Tam is having the time of his life, the little emo shit he is

[themysteriousmissf-blog]

Linh: Hey Tam, what do you want?

Inner Tam: The souls of of the innocent

Tam: A bagel

Inner Tam: Nooo

Tam: Two bagels