thenannyreviewed

[thenannyreviewed]

1x09 Personal Business

Hello, hello I’m back! So sorry for the super long hiatus. I started a new job and I guess I need to work on my time management skills. Anyway, I’m back now so let’s get back to making fun of my favorite television show, shall we?

The episode opens with Fran entering the room with her arms outstretched (show of hands: who’s surprised?) and sporting another bathrobe. Why this woman has 34308 different bathrobes, I’ll never understand. Maxwell compliments her on her robe and she tells him Victoria’s Secret was having a sale and that she bought some other stuff, but that’s her secret. Then she flirtatiously nudges him. There are children present. And he’s her boss. Brighton asks if she saved the catalogue and Niles cuts in and says Brighton can have it when Niles is through with it. I just…yikes. It’s like I wanna make jokes, but it might almost be going too far, ya know what I mean?

Moving on, Satan Sheffield arrives sporting a matching robe and pose as Fran.  The phone rings and everyone fights over who it could be. (Maxwell thinks it’s a business call. Maggie thinks it’s James Marsden calling to give her a good morning kiss. Spoiler alert: James Marsden doesn’t return to The Nanny though, so game over. Maggie.) It’s actually Val calling for Fran to gossip about Fran’s ex Danny. Fran’s phone call causes Max to miss an important business call so Maxwell lectures her on keeping business and personal separate. I’m sure this is going to turn out well.

Post opening credits, Fran and Grace interrupt Max’s work day to tell him they’re going shopping. Recognize Fran’s outfit from the pilot? Who even cares about that when CC is wearing … I don’t even know how to describe that. Anyway Max complains that he needs a leading man for his show. CC makes a comment about Fran’s outfit that I can’t even compute because WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU WEARING, CC?

FUN FACT: CC Babcock’s entire Season One wardrobe was actually donated to Hamilton the musical for the Founding Fathers to wear.

CC tells Fran she’s wearing an Adolfo and Niles says “As in Hitler” and exits the room as she glares at him.  CC then hangs up with whoever the hell she’s on the phone with, with a classic “Kiss kiss, love you, ciao!” God bless that blue-blooded princess.

CC then sits on Maxwell’s desk (Petition to Give CC Babcock Her Own Desk 2k17) and tells him she’s gotten Brock Storm to be in their show. Brock plays River Shane on the hit soap opera One Day After Another. Fran is super excited about this because he’s apparently a big deal; some deli named a sandwich after him. Maxwell has eaten him. This isn’t even me being funny this is straight up dialogue from the show. Anyway, Fran thinks that because River Shane is perfect, Brock must be too. She’s unable to separate the fictional character from the actor. Hard to believe that Fran Fine, a vivacious Jewish girl from Queens, would have a hard time separating a character from the actor that portrays them.

The next scene opens with Brock Storm (hello Stefan Cassadine from General Hospital!) (and Tucker on The Young and the Restless!) (and Steve Johnson on Days of our Lives!) (why am I only just now realizing they got a legitimate soap opera actor to play a soap opera actor?!) singing Oklahoma and spelling it wrong (fun fact whenever I hear the song I almost always accidentally sing it the Brock Storm way. This show has done irreparable damage to my brain.) Also CC has had a wardrobe change and she’s gone from Founding Father to Classic 90’s Hillary Clinton.

Anyway, Brock makes it known that he’s still meeting with other producers such as Andrew Lloyd Webber (Is this the first we hear of Maxwell’s hatred for ALW?) and  Maxwell argues that he should do his first show on broadway with someone who epitomizes  style and class.

Enter Fran wearing this monstrosity! They exchange some flirtation which CC puts a stop to by threatening to hurt Fran. (Perfect person.) Fran and the kids leave and Brock says he’ll do the show if he gets top billing, the highest salary, and Maxwell’s nanny.

Stupid Maxwell thinks Brock really wants Fran to be an actual nanny to take care of his children. Niles and CC have a moment of solidarity over how dumb Maxwell is and my heart exploded.

The next scene picks up with Fran, Niles, and the children watching Brock’s soap opera together. Apparently Brock’s character got a woman pregnant even though he’s had a vasectomy. Grace asks what that is, and Maggie says it’s surgery like when CC went to Switzerland and came back without her thighs. Good for her. Grace asks if CC’s had a vasectomy and Niles says he’s heard that she’s given a few and I don’t really get why that’s an insult? Like is he saying CC emasculates men?  We get it Niles you love CC but you’re intimidated by her power.

Maxwell refuses to allow Fran to be part of the deal with Brock. CC doesn’t understand why he’s being such a terrible business man, why he’s the boss and she’s not, and why he gets a desk and she doesn’t (okay I made a lot of that up but really, I’m probably right.)

Niles comes in as CC is giving Maxwell a neck massage and telling him they just have to do it, and the look on his face is CLEAR JEALOUSY. The three of them realize Fran loved meeting Brock so setting her up with him would actually be doing her a favor (And not just pimping her out. Niles’ words, not mine.)

Max and CC call Fran into the office and CC tries sucking up to Fran, which just scares Fran. They tell her they’ve set her up with Brock for the night and she lights up like one of her sequined tops.

Maxwell is still kind of hesitant, telling her not to have too good a time. CC yells/glares at him and he shuts up. I wish CC got to yell at Maxwell at least once an episode because honestly I’m living for this. Fran is super excited and happily accepts.

Then she comes back and asks if her going out with Brock would be better for the show/Maxwell’s business. Max and CC’s reactions are priceless. CC tries to act offended at the thought but then Max cuts in and tells Fran the truth. Fran doesn’t really care.

BUT WAIT, then Fran remembers Maxwell’s rule of not mixing business with personal, and she decides to milk this for all its worth. Maxwell snaps and tells Fran he wants her to break all the rules. He’s so good at being a boss.

The next scene is Fran getting ready for her date with Maggie and Grace. Maggie puts on blush like she’s auditioning for the Ringling Bros.

Fran makes a stairwell entrance, of course. Brock seems like a real lech, which leaves Maxwell feeling really unsettled. Fran and Brock leave, and Niles asks Max if he’s worried she’ll have a bad time or a good time. He’s so insightful, that butler. Maxwell stares out the door looking very melancholy, like he’s in an emo music video. You just know he’s gonna wait up for Fran to get home. 

Cut to Fran having a terrible time on her date. Brock takes her to happy hour, keeps obsessing over how to part his hair, they get nachos and wings for dinner, and he pulls out an eye patch because he relates more to his soap opera character’s evil twin. I’ve had worse dates.

Oh my god and then my cold, black heart melted at the sight of Maxwell and Brighton sleeping in the living room waiting for Fran IN MATCHING BATHROBES!!! HOW STINKIN CUTE IS THAT? Fran comes in and asks if they were waiting up for her. Max tries to deny it but Brighton wakes up and asks if she’s home yet. Stop this is so cute. IT’S MESSING WITH MY SNARK.

Fran and Max have a sweet moment discussing how because they live together there’s bound to be some mixing of business with personal. Maxwell says he doesn’t really want to work with Brock anymore, and Fran says that’s a shame because now he can really hit those high notes as she saunters off to bed, leaving Maxwell and Brighton to simultaneously cringe.

The episode ends with Fran and Brighton playing scrabble, Maggie doing Grace’s hair, and Maxwell gossiping with Val on the phone about hiring soap opera actors for his shows. Niles is watching One Day After Another and notices that the show has replaced Brock with a new actor and wonders why. Fran asks how to spell “eunuch.” Lots of mentions of emasculating men in this episode. HELL YEAH GIRL POWER WHY AREN’T CC AND FRAN BEST FRIENDS YET?!!?!

To wrap it up:

Best Character of the Episode: CC “Kiss kiss, love you, ciao��� Babcock

Worst Character of the Episode: Maggie, for no real reason. She was her usual self, which I suppose is reason enough.

Guest Star Likeability: Brock was a huge tool, but at least he didn’t really take away screen time from regulars on the show (cough cough CC). So for that I say we like him.

Best Outfit: I gotta go with Maxwell and Brighton’s matching pajamas.

Worst Outfit: CC’s take on colonial America

On a Scale of 1-10 how much does CC Babcock deserve a desk: 45

Alright folks, there we have it! Up next: an episode that was one of the reasons I started this blog.  Can’t. Wait.

[thenannyreviewed]

1x08 Christmas Episode

First off I have to apologize. VLC sucks on my computer and the screencaps are god awful. If anyone has suggestions for a better thing to use please let me know. We have arrived at the first Christmas episode of The Nanny! Remember how if Tumblr didn’t let me down we would have been right on track to get to this episode at actual Christmas time!?!?!?!?!? This is the last episode of Disc 1 which is exciting because I think the show is starting to get its footing.

The show opens with Niles at the little foyer table stringing together cranberries. He’s always at that table rearranging flowers; that table is like the main component of his job. Fran and the children enter and the kids move so god damn fast I could barely get a screencap to show their outfits. They were out ice-skating and for some reason this meant Maggie had to dress like an American Girl Doll from the 1700’s (I was a big fan of the Kirsten books growing up) and Grace had to dress like a competitive figure skater. As someone who grew up in the 90’s I can confirm no one dressed like this to go ice-skating. I think the reason they were moving so fast was because they realized how ridiculous they looked and knew one day in 2016 some weirdo would be making fun of them on her blog.

Niles compliments Fran’s outfit so she throws her arms in the air. Didn’t see that coming. Niles isn’t really in the Christmas spirit because he gets stuck cleaning everything up, and he asks Fran if he can convert to Judaism. Fran says sure, he’d just need a circumcision. That’d be a wild episode of The Nanny. Talking about Niles’ foreskin is what fades us out to the opening credits. Merry Christmas!!!

The next scene opens with Fran, Max, Niles, and the kids trimming the Christmas tree. Maxwell is anal (Grace’s words, not mine) about how the tree is supposed to be decorated. Fran tells a really irrelevant story about how one year her Christmas tree caught on fire. I barely listened because it literally had nothing to do with the discussion at hand. Niles plugs in the lights and they’re really pretty! But Maxwell wanted twinkle lights (Twinkle lights might be the dumbest idea ever by the way. Do you know how distracting those things get after like 30 seconds? Do less, Maxwell Sheffield) so Niles stands there pathetically plugging and unplugging the lights to give a twinkling effect. Every time I think his job can’t get any sadder, he proves me wrong.

Anyway, Maxwell asks Fran to work Christmas because he has to go to D.C. to produce something for the Kennedy Center. Fran finds out he’s never home for Christmas, and the kids don’t believe in Santa. They believe in Edna, Maxwell’s personal shopper. Fran asks if they did believe in Santa, what would they ask for from him for Christmas. And Grace gets sad and says she wants her daddy around for Christmas. This bums me out because what did these kids do on Christmases before Fran? They couldn’t keep a nanny around because Brighton was always staging fake suicides, so was it just them and Niles? DAMN THIS SHOW FOR MAKING ME FEEL THINGS.

Niles hangs up mistletoe outside Max’s office as Fran walks by. She says Grace is the “Anti-Claus” (Sensing a theme here, because Maggie is the Antichrist.) Niles says she should wait to talk to Maxwell because he’s writing out their Christmas bonuses. (Maxwell has a staff of 3 people if you count CC. Does it really take this much time offscreen to sign those checks. Oh 4, I guess, if you count Edna, the unseen personal shopper. I stand corrected. Carry on, Maxwell.) Fran’s concern for the children’s wellbeing is immediately replaced with greed when she realizes the nanny gets a bonus too. She flounces back to the living room.

CC stands under the mistletoe trying to get Maxwell to kiss her. He’s not having it – but Nanny Fine is! Fran comes in and asks if he really needs to work Christmas (I guess she got over her initial greed.) CC answers for him that, yes, they really do need to work Christmas because they have a very important benefit (“We’re raising money for the…who are we raising money for? The poor, right?”  What an angel.) Fran didn’t know CC was going, too, and CC is very excited (probably because her and Maxwell used to bang) but Maxwell insists they’re only spending Christmas together for charity (just what every girl wants to hear, right, CC?)

Fran talks about how it’s so impersonal to have a personal shopper do all the shopping for Maxwell. CC points out that since the children go to school all day, maybe Fran could use all that free time to do the shopping (smartest person on this show.) Maxwell likes that idea. Fran still thinks he should do it because a gift from the heart means so much more. Maxwell gives in, so I guess Fran can continue to have the whole morning and afternoon free. Honestly how do I become a nanny?

Fran and Val come in from getting the kids stocking stuffers (real talk: some of my favorite presents are stocking stuffers!) as Niles is holding up instructions for Maxwell to put together a bike. It just keeps getting worse, doesn’t it, Niles? Maxwell keeps quoting Christmas carols and Niles looks into the camera like he’s Jim on The Office.

Fran is talking about all the Christmas presents she got the kids and Niles wonders how she’s affording all this. She’s not. She’s writing checks and then hoping her Christmas bonus covers it. She could have saved some money by just gluing cotton balls to a cheap sweater instead of buying that designer sweater for Maggie though.

The Sheffield’s celebrate Christmas early so Maxwell can be there with the family. Maggie asks Fran to open her present from her first because she…ugh, made it herself. Sidebar: homemade gifts can be great if the person making them has talent. My mom makes a scrapbook that’ll bring tears to your eyes. If you’re a wealthy heiress with no talent, just go with a giftcard though for the LOVE OF GOD. Anyway, she makes Fran a pajama holder. If she was a talented carpenter, and she built Fran a new dresser, maybe this would be impressive. It’s a giant felt flower though, so I don’t really see how that’s gonna hold pajamas. Fran plays it off like she loves it, and she says she doesn’t already have one. Niles leers at her and says “Because you don’t wear any pajamas” and I blacked out and woke up outside, surrounded by garbage.

Maxwell couldn’t put together the bike so he gives Brighton a “bicycle kit.” Brighton looks into the camera like he’s Jim on The Office.

Grace gets a giant blowup of The Scream. I don’t even know what to say about this.

Maxwell gives Niles his Christmas bonus and it’s very impressive. Fran can’t wait to get her hands on hers!

But surprise! It’s not a check! It’s a vase! Because Fran kept telling Maxwell how much better a gift from the heart is! Words can haunt you. Fran freaks out to Niles about how she has no money, and she even tries to get the sweater back from Maggie to return, but Maggie loves the sweater. (She’d really be doing Maggie a favor. That sweater is a monstrosity.) So Fran sells the vase to get the money she needs.

Maxwell is getting ready to leave for the airport, and asks Niles if he packed all his bags. CC walks in and Niles says he almost forgot one old bag. CAAAN YOU FEEEL THE LOOOOVE TONIGHT? Grace begs to come and CC says no, which cracks me up (The above picture is everyone’s reaction to CC saying no.) As he’s leaving, Maxwell tells Fran that he hopes she enjoys the vase and cherishes it the way they all cherish her. Fran asks Niles to watch the kids so she can go buy back the vase, and he smacks her in the back of the head.

In order to pay for the vase, Fran has to give up her dead grandmother’s watch. I’m wondering which grandmother, because we’ve already met Yetta, and in season 3 we meet the other one. But still, it’s very sad.

At the airport, Niles calls Maxwell and tells him what Fran had to do. He feels awful. CC doesn’t care. Their flight gets delayed so Maxwell goes to fix things, leaving CC at the airport.

There’s a Santa there ringing a bell, and CC tells him if he rings it one more time, she’ll ring his neck. Perfect, perfect person.

At Church, Fran sees the line to confession and asks Niles if anyone can go. The kids and Niles have a funny “whisper down the lane” moment. Niles starts off saying “she went to confess” and by the time it reaches Brighton, he whispers to Gracie “she went to undress.”

Fran and the priest talk about the meaning of Christmas, when Maxwell enters the confessional. He tells Fran he heard about what she did and got the name of he pawnshop from Val to get back her grandmother’s watch. Only it’s the wrong watch. Fran is touched, because at least she still has the vase. But then Maxwell sits on the vase.

The family ends up spending Christmas Eve in the hospital, with Maxwell needing stitches in his ass. Maxwell hopes CC will be able to handle the benefit by herself as she’s probably in the air by now. Niles remarks “There go the friendly skies.”

Then Santa is wheeled in, because some lady at the airport knocked him out with his own bell. Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. CC Babcock beat up Santa Claus. This is, probably, the single most important thing to happen in season 1. Grace thanks Santa for making her Christmas wish come true (that Maxwell would be there for Christmas.) The family shares a heartwarming moment.

Fran feels bad for the Santa so she goes to invite him to celebrate Christmas with them. But when she pulls back the curtain…gasp! He’s gone! She goes to the window and we hear sleighbells and a “Ho, ho, ho.” And Fran says she needs to lay down. So Santa Claus is real in The Nanny world. And CC Babcock beat him up. Merry Christmas in March, The Nanny Reviewed!

The credits roll as the cast sings the 12 days of Christmas. Fran doesn’t get why the song has so many birds in it. Maxwell scolds her and they all wave at the camera, thanking us for watching the show. I guess CC didn’t get to fly to D.C. after all since she’s there. Did Niles have to go pick her up at TSA for assaulting Santa Claus? Discuss.

[thenannyreviewed]

1x07 Imaginary Friend

Mental health takes a beating in this very special episode of The Nanny. Lord beer me strength.

The episode opens with Fran excited Grace is playing with her toys. She’s not playing with her toys though; she’s holding group therapy. Honestly, who am I to judge? Because what I did with my Barbies when I was little would make a Soap Opera writer blush. Fran and Grace discuss Barbie and Ken breaking up because Barbie cheated on him with GI Joe before Desert Storm. Fran then imparts some of her best wisdom onto us all: Never trust a woman who can’t wear flats.

Following the opening credits, Maggie is trying to play Heart & Soul on the piano and doing a terrible job (show of hands: who’s surprised?) Brighton acts like he’s tortured (me, too) and Fran one ups him by saying her sister played the Zither. I had no idea what that was so I googled it and ok Fran might actually win this one. Maggie gives some bullshit excuse about her fingers being nimble – which, time out. That’s not an excuse. That is a good quality for piano players to have. Did none of the writers have a dictionary on hand? Niles suggests sign language instead as a hobby. I love when his snark is directed at someone else besides CC.

Grace is playing checkers by herself and suddenly mentions Imogene. Fran looks around confusedly before asking Brighton who she’s talking to. Brighton says “no one” and does the Twilight Zone music and intro. Season 1 Brighton, never change.

Fran doesn’t seem too concerned because Grace is only 6. Brighton’s face says it all though. Grace is straight up having a conversation with her imaginary friend. I never had an imaginary friend as a child so I don’t really know if this is normal or not but it seems pretty out there to me. Because it’s weird watching a kid talk to herself, Fran suggests they all play a game together, like her favorite: Old Maid. Brighton goes to comment and Fran says shut up and this just cemented with me that Brighton spent a lot of time around Niles growing up, because this is such a Niles/CC kind of convo.

Maggie continues to suck at piano and Niles slams the lid down on her nimble fingers. It’s only a shame he didn’t break them.

In the next scene, Fran walks in to pick Grace up for therapy, and acts like it’s something to be embarrassed about. What she should actually be embarrassed about is that her parents have a cameo in this episode. It’d be cute if this was a one time thing, but we see them again multiple times. You know who hasn’t been in this episode yet? Maxwell and CC. Just saying. Carry on. Fran makes a big fuss over what Grace might say about her in therapy, and the receptionist asks her to sit down as she’s disturbing the patients. Fran says “Like they’re not disturbed already.” The Nanny: Shining a positive light on mental health since 1993.

Maxwell’s on the phone with costume designer as CC looks at the sketches, completely horrified by how ugly they are. Maxwell tries to be nice, and CC takes the phone and says “They’re grotesque. You couldn’t design a dickey, you talentless hack.” Season One CC had some great lines. The costume designer hangs up on CC, shockingly enough.

Fran comes in and says she needs to talk to Maxwell about one of the kids. Max hopes it’s about canceling Maggie’s piano lessons (all for everyone hating on Maggie by the way) and Fran says Maggie is no Mozart and asks if that’s such a crime. CC, my queen, replies “Yes, in some countries they’d cut off her hands.” This is the funniest thing in the world to me. Fran stares at CC in horror, who asks “What?” (It kills me that she doesn’t even see anything wrong with what she said. Perfect person.) Fran says “Question: when they shot Bambi’s mother, did you find that a sad moment…at all?” which in itself is a hilarious line, and normally the writers would have just let CC glare and leave the room or something, but instead they let her reply! I’m so proud. CC says: “I’m sure she’s mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.” HAS THERE EVER BEEN A MORE PERFECT PERSON?

That shuts Fran up, and I think this might be the first time she sits on Maxwell’s desk?? Don’t quote me on that though. Fran complains that Grace brought Imogene to lunch with them and Fran had to pay for her meal. Fran suggests cutting Grace’s therapy back and then asks who recommended this therapist anyway.

OH LOOK AT THAT. CC DID. CC says she happens to be one of the best therapists in NYC (“You can’t even get in to see her unless one of her patients commits suicide.” Oh my god.) Fran suggests they just cut back on therapy and CC says therapy is very beneficial – she’s been going for 20 years. Then her eye twitches. (#Foreshadowing) (Moving along before I put my fist through a wall.)

Grace and Fran are in the kitchen baking cookies, discussing things adults lie about (you can eat raw cookie dough and you don’t have to wait 30 minutes after eating to go swimming, apparently.) Fran keeps trying to sit down but Imogene keeps stealing her spot. Gotta give Fran credit here. By now I would have screamed “IMOGENE ISN’T REAL, YOU ASSHOLE” in the kid’s face. Maxwell comes in and waxes poetic about how wonderfully Grace seems to be doing without therapy. Then Fran bites a cookie and Grace loses her shit because Imogene was on the cookie.

What follows is some of Fran Drescher and Charles Shaughnessy’s best comedic acting. They try to rescue Imogene, complete with CPR (Maxwell tries to clear her throat with his fingers and Grace goes “That wasn’t her throat…ew” which made my head explode. Did Maxwell just get to third base with his daughter’s imaginary friend?) Anyway, try as they might – Imogene does not make it. After a long talk, they decide to hold a funeral for Imogene.

The funeral is pretty funny. Brighton calls Fran “Nanny Lecter,” Grace picks a box of Fran’s expensive boots to bury Imogene in, Maggie plays the piano terribly, Maxwell stumbles over a eulogy for Imogene, Niles pretends he’s too overcome with grief to say anything, Brighton offers to speak and everyone says “No!” at once. Grace’s therapist calls and thus ends the funeral. She wants to see them immediately. For an imaginary friend dying. Ok.

The next scene takes place at the therapist’s office. Fran wears a dress with a giant tomato and eggplant on it. Naturally. (And is that an entrance with her arms outstretched? I think so!) Patients in the waiting room mistake Fran and Max for a married couple because of the way they’re bickering. Fran says Niles told her all about Maxwell’s crazy family tree: his aunt Hermione who lived in a gazebo with an owl and his uncle with the magic kilt. Oh how I wish the show would revisit this.

The therapist brings Fran and Max into her office, and says Grace seems to be doing a lot better. She says Grace first stared coming to see her when her mom died (no I’m not crying thinking about CC getting her best friend’s daughter the help she needed, what are you talking about) and that’s when Imogene popped up. So now that Grace has Fran, she doesn’t need Imogene anymore. Fran is so touched she is speechless, which Maxwell declares a miracle. Fran even eats a cookie again! Therapy saves the day!

The ending scene is Fran digging up her boots in the middle of the night. Niles offers to help, hoping if they dig a big enough hole they can bury the piano. Personally, it’s a nice piano. Why not just bury Maggie?

The end credits scene features Maggie finally playing a decent song, but no one is around to witness it. More importantly: hello Maxwell’s headshot. This might be our best view yet.

Til next time!

[thenannyreviewed]

1x06 The Butler, The Husband, The Wife and Her Mother

HELLO, HELLO I’M BACK! I have missed this blog so much. For some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me post pictures, which kind of defeats the purpose of this whole blog. If I can’t make fun of how much Wardrobe clearly hated Lauren Lane, well then what’s even the point? I’m also excited because this is one of my favorite Season One episodes. It’s also one I wished aired later in the series instead of Season One and I’ll explain why later.

The episode opens with Fran and Niles trying to capture a mouse. Niles says he wants to kill the mouse and Fran says he’s so macho (first and last time Niles is ever described this way in the series) and that he’s turning her on. I immediately burned my house down and relocated to Mexico. He says the Professional Butlers Association is coming to observe him and he’s hoping to be accepted, which is just about the saddest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. Where is CC? She’d have a field day with this. Fran pulls through though, saying she thought he was kidding when he told her about that.

Niles explains that he comes from a long line of butlers and all of them were members of this butler club, until his father got kicked out for wrestling naked with a duchess. I forgot about this and so will you because I’m pretty sure this is one of the only times we get insight into Niles’ backstory/family. Fran says “to each his own…unless Duchess was a sheep dog” which is the perfect fade out to the theme song.

The next scene opens with Maxwell wearing ridiculous yellow rain boots. I’m pretty sure this is an inside joke with the cast/crew and Charles Shaughnessy wore those boots to his audition or something. Anyway, those boots are the least of my concerns because WE HAVE A MAXWELL HEADSHOT SIGHTING!!! It’ll never get old.

He’s taking the children to the museum to celebrate Brighton getting elected class president. Fun!!!! Maggie can’t believe Brighton got elected because that means people actually voted for him. That’s funny coming from someone more boring than going to a museum to celebrate getting elected class president. Maxwell says to be proud of Brighton since he worked hard. Maggie points out Maxwell was the one who did everything for Brighton, and Brighton quips “He’s my Hillary!” Hey that’s topical!! Maxwell can’t stop gushing about Brighton and says “Now you’re a winner like your old man.” Two thoughts: First of all, is Maxwell implying that before this, Brighton was a loser? Second of all, Maxwell has a headshot of himself sitting on the piano. Can we really call that winning? Anyway, Maxwell once again says they’re going to the museum to celebrate (#winner) and Brighton says that there’s a fine line between punishment and reward in this house. He gets it.

Grace says she loves the painting The Scream and makes that face. Maggie asks what Fran is going to do on her day off. Fran says she is NOT having lunch with her cousin Marsha and uncle Jack visiting from Boca. There had to be a better way to set this scene up. The family is standing at the door, coats on, ready to celebrate at the museum (I can’t stop) and that’s when Maggie asks what Fran’s plans are. And instead of just straight up answering, Fran tells them what she’s NOT doing. Fran clearly doesn’t like her uncle and cousin and says “Don’t ask.” Maxwell says he doesn’t think he asked. He gets it.

Fran launches into a lengthy explanation about her annoying family and I couldn’t have gotten a better screenshot if I tried. You guys are trapped. Forever. You did this to yourselves. Suddenly celebrating at a boring museum doesn’t seem so bad, does it? Basically the gist is that Uncle Jack and cousin Marsha are always trying to one-up Fran and Sylvia.

The family leaves and Niles comes in with a basket of champagne and caviar that Lauren Bacall sent over for Maxwell. Fran and Niles look at each other suggestively and I burned my corneas off and had a lobotomy to try to forget about it. Thankfully they’re just stealing the gift basket. But still.

In the next scene, Sylvia has just come from lunch with Jack and Marsha, and they bragged the whole time about Marsha’s husband and diamonds and living by the beach next door to Dan Marino (Fran: “Who the hell is Dan Marino?” Sylvia “How the hell should I know?”) To get even, Sylvia has told Jack and Marsha that Fran eloped with a successful Broadway producer and is living in a palace on the Upper East Side. Fran is happy, until Sylvia reveals Jack and Marsha are coming over. Fran refuses to pretend to be something she’s not (that’s funny though because for 5 years she pretended to be a nanny. #Burn)

Jack and Marsha arrive and Marsha is wearing a hot pink jacket with a turquoise jumpsuit and carrying a purple bag, so I don’t see how there is even a competition here. Fran’s wardrobe is ridiculous but at least girlfriend knows how to color coordinate. Jack and Marsha immediately start in on Fran, saying she’s no longer an old maid. Fran decides to go along with Sylvia’s lies. Who didn’t see that coming? Jack and Marsha don’t want to leave until they meet Maxwell, so Fran says he’s out at a rehearsal. (Sylvia says it’s Sunday in the Park with George, so he won’t be home til Monday. Amazing.)

Jack and Marsha insist on staying for as long as it takes to meet Maxwell (which is just weird and rude) and since no one wants that, when Niles walks in, Fran pretends he’s Maxwell. He catches on quickly and goes along with it (plus Fran blackmails him because he broke a vase so he really doesn’t have a choice), and he almost blows it immediately when he introduces himself to everyone, including Sylvia (“I was drunk at the wedding” is his cover.)

Jack and Marsha really want to meet the children (if they knew how dull Maggie was they’d probably change their minds) but Fran and Niles say they’re at the museum with Niles, the butler, because it’s Butler’s Day at the museum. Smooth. The doorbell rings, and surprise! It’s the butlers from the Professional Butler’s Association, here to observe Niles! (The word butler is starting to feel weird.) Niles is understandably horrified. The butlers explain they like to arrive early to catch the butlers off guard (this is way too serious for a butler association if you ask me. And also seriously if CC knew about this she would never let it go.) Fran tells them that Niles is out which is kind of selfish in my opinion. Yeah, Fran’s family sucks and she’s already lied to them, but clearly this is important to Niles (why, I’ll never understand.)

SO OF COURSE, MAXWELL AND THE CHILDREN ARRIVE HOME AT THAT MOMENT! They closed the museum because of a bomb threat. Meanwhile I don’t get why they came home. Like, the whole point was to celebrate Brighton winning the election, and the only person who had their heart set on the museum was Maxwell. Take them out for celebratory ice cream! Or a movie! But I digress. Maxwell tosses his jacket at Niles to hang up, and Niles lets it fall to the ground (I had to include that screen shot because it makes me laugh every time. Maxwell just throws it at Niles without even considering if he’s ready for it or anything.) Marsha asks who Maxwell is and Maxwell looks understandably confused. Fran says it’s Niles, the butler and the screen fades. I’m sure Maxwell is going to take this well!

Maxwell does not take it well. He’s basically like “What the hell, guys? Niles is me and I’m married to Fran?” And Fran is like “He could do a lot worse!” and Niles says “And I have.” Fran then says Maxwell should help otherwise Niles’ name will be ruined. Then she realizes she doesn’t know Niles’ last name. He says it’s “Just Niles. Like Cher.” so I guess this is the episode where Niles drops a lot of hints about his past and we never ever receive any answers. Anyway, Fran, Niles, and the kids try to talk Max into playing along and he refuses to budge.

Maxwell heads for the stairs and Uncle Jack asks for a drink. Maxwell tells him to help himself, which does not sit well with the butlers. Niles explains that he puts up with it because they’ve been friends for many years as a final plea for Maxwell to cooperate. Maxwell still doesn’t budge. Marsha says poor help is a reflection of the boss and Fran is in way over her head. That snaps Maxwell out of it and he decides to help (He’s been friends with Niles for his whole life and he’s known Fran for 6 episodes yet he decides to help for Fran’s sake. I’m just saying.) Brighton almost blows it by yelling “Alright Dad!” but then he quickly turns it into a freestyle rap. That’s exactly how I handle situations, too!

The kids decide to have some fun with Maxwell as the butler. Brighton corrects Maxwell, telling him to call him “Master Brighton” which I honestly almost laughed out loud at (and had to include Maxwell’s reaction because it was just so funny.) They ask for ice cream sodas and oreos and Maxwell is like “I don’t think your father would approve of that” so they ask Nile who says yes, which kind of drives me nuts because hey your boss/BFF just agreed to help you out in this ridiculous scenario and now you’re going to override his parenting decisions!? But anyway, the butlers follow Maxwell into the kitchen to observe him in this very difficult task of putting ice cream into sodas. The fact that Niles wants to get into this very elite club is really bumming me out.

The doorbell rings. Brighton’s classmate inviting him to his inauguration party (Apparently grade school presidential elections are way more serious than I remember. I was Vice President of the 8th grade and all I had to do was absolutely nothing.) (My parents certainly didn’t take me to a museum to celebrate this accomplishment.) It comes out that Brighton actually lost the election. He storms off and Fran and Maxwell follow him. Maggie is like “I knew no one would vote for him” really Maggie? Because a few weeks ago your only friend was the cleaning lady, so let’s cool it.

Brighton, Fran, and Maxwell have a heart to heart in the kitchen. Brighton says he lied because he just wanted to be a winner like Maxwell (Do I need to bring up the museum again or??) Fran points out all the flops Maxwell has had and asks Brighton if he’s getting it. Brighton says “Yeah, we’re all a bunch of losers.” Season 1 Brighton Sheffield is a gift to us all. Maxwell tells Brighton he can always tell him the truth, because what kind of parent wants their kid to pretend to be something they’re not. Fran makes this about herself and lying to her cousin and uncle. I get that there is a valuable lesson to be learned here about being yourself, but Fran’s cousin and uncle are both terrible people and they’re literally about to leave. Just keep up the lie for 30 more seconds!

But Fran comes clean and Marsha makes fun of her. Maggie calls her a big, green cow. Fran corrects her. (Because the jumpsuit is turquoise, not green.) Maxwell comes to Fran’s defense, saying he was there before Fran arrived and she’s made everyone really happy. It’s actually pretty sweet. The butlers think Maxwell-as-Niles is being completely inappropriate and Niles-as-Max comes to his defense. Sylvia defends Fran to Jack. The butlers decide that Niles is accepted into their club. Everyone lives happily ever after! But wait! The doorbell rings! Who could that be?

Hey! It’s CC! You know, one of the main characters on the show featured in the opening credits! She’s arrived for the last 30 seconds of the episode! I hope Lauren Lane got to go to the spa and take a lot of naps the week they did this episode.

Anyway, CC was off securing investors or something for their next show (Does Maxwell ever actually work?) and Maxwell and Niles confuse her – thus ending the charade. The Butlers Association guys are pissed at first, but then Fran defends Niles.

So Niles is accepted, and they all celebrate as if this is actually a cool thing to be proud of.

As Maxwell is helping CC out of her coat (by the way notice the monocle? CC wore this outfit in the second episode when Carol Channing auditions for her and Maxwell! Link. It’s sad that I know this off the top of my head, isn’t it?) CC casually mentions that she ran into Lauren Bacall today (CC’s life is fabulous) who was wondering if he got the caviar she sent over.

The caviar Fran and Niles ate at the beginning of the episode. It all comes full circle. By the way, this might be one for the history books, my friends. Because I’m pretty sure this is one of the only times in all 6 seasons Fran is in the same outfit for the entire episode!

And that concludes this episode of The Nanny. So, how much better would this episode be if it took place in a later season, specifically: Season 4? By that point, Fran and Max had all that “will-they-or-won’t-they” tension, and it would have bothered Maxwell A LOT to see her pretending to be married to Niles. Also by that point, the writers actually knew the dynamics of Niles and CC’s relationship. CC would definitely make fun of Niles wanting to join this weird butler club. Better yet: they could have made them make CC pretend to be the nanny! (They could have done that last thing in this episode too, but god forbid CC gets actual screentime.)

Now I need to talk myself out of writing this very thing.

[thenannyreviewed]

1x05 Here Comes the Brood

omg I think it worked! So sorry for the delay! Tumblr wouldn’t let me post pictures but I MAY BE BACK IN BUSINESS, FOLKS! Here’s a repost of the last recap:

Hello, hello! I am so incredibly sorry for the delay in recaps (if I still even have readers out there.) I got busy with school and then last week I ended up in the emergency room for a kidney stone. I took the week off, thinking I’d get to chill and catch up on writing, but it turns out kidney stones are no joke and I was too sick to move or think or even watch tv or movies aside from, for some reason, Disney’s The Kid (it’s a pretty good movie though. I recommend it.) I’m feeling [somewhat] better now (I’m told it could take a month to pass god help us all) and who DOESN’T want a snarky Nanny review featuring me on pain killers? This should be fun right? …RIGHT?! This is a good episode to do it on too because CC, my queen, my angel, my everything, is featured heavily in it.

Anyway, the episode opens with Niles arranging flowers in the living room. Yes, Niles, this is as good as it’s gonna get. You lead a very meaningful life (I say this with love.)

Fran comes in and screams at the top of her lungs for the kids and Niles reacts as we all would. She says she loves saying the limo is waiting ($$$$$$$) and Niles is like “And we all love hearing it” what a beautiful snarky bastard. The doorbell rings.

It’s CC! We’re not even 30 seconds in and she’s already here, sporting one of her trademark fake smiles! Honestly all snark aside, Lauren Lane is so brilliant in the choices she makes for CC. I could see someone of lesser talent choosing to do a haughty glare in this moment, but the fake smile works so much better. They touch on CC’s ability to be sincerely insincere in a later episode, too! Continuity! Okay daily love fest over Lauren Lane over.

Anyway, Fran yells at the top of her lungs for Max and CC reacts like this. Oddly similar to the butler, no? Then CC says one of the funniest lines of the series which I completely forgot about until I rewatched this episode: “Miss Fine, please. They’ve already freed Willy.”  What a princess.

The kids come down and Max comes down and they’re all one big happy family (Fran makes a comment about the girls’ uniforms saying men dream about school girl uniforms which is super uncomfortable but we’ll just move right along.) CC is naturally taken aback considering she’s totally been banging Maxwell (or so I choose to believe) and also because who doesn’t get disgusted by the sight of a happy family? Oh? Am I alone in this? Anyway. Niles looks at CC like that^^^ though because he wants to get it in.

Fran and the kids talk some more about who cares and Brighton makes this face, which I think encapsulates my feelings re: Maggie Sheffield perfectly.

More happy family stuff happens and CC’s eye twitches (I guess foreshadowing Season 5 but I’m gonna put on my denial shield and forget all about that, as should you) and she calls Fran Donna Reed. Fran leaves and CC says she hopes the kids aren’t getting too attached. Maxwell points out Fran is the nanny and that’s kind of the point and CC says she feels like she hasn’t spent any time with the children lately. Max is like “CC, you’ve never spent any time with the children” god bless CC. They make plans to go to the zoo the following day since it’s Miss Fine’s day off. Max is all excited because this is a new side of CC he hasn’t seen before (but I bet he’s seen other sides of her if ya catch my drift wink wink.) CC says she adores children. It’s a natural thing, a female thing. Niles comments “I hear some females eat their young.” This is another pretty iconic line of the series, I think. CC glares back at him as he shuts the door. How much longer til these 2 bang?

All this and we just hit the opening credits! God help us all.

Next scene, Grace doesn’t want to go to the zoo because she’s scared of CC. Max and Fran come in and he’s got a toothache. He’s being really stubborn about the whole thing and Fran is like “what are you gonna do when all your teeth fall out” to which Niles says “I assume I’ll be masticating for him” which is PRETTY RACY FOR A 90’S CBS SITCOM. I’M HERE FOR IT.  (*thinks about hot tub Max/Niles dream she had that one time*)

CC comes in all decked out in safari gear and she glares at Niles. Honestly how cute is she though? Like she knows nothing about hanging out with children or zoos so probably went out the night before and went all out MY PRECIOUS GUMDROP I WILL SHELTER YOU FROM THESE PEOPLE WHO DON’T APPRECIATE YOU.

Max’s tooth is really hurting him so Fran forbids him from going to the zoo, saying CC can take the kids. CC reacts as expected.

The jokes write themselves. The next scene opens with Niles staring at his flower arrangement again. I can’t even make this up.

The kids and a frazzled looking CC come storming in. She immediately asks Niles for a drink. Niles can barely contain his amusement. (“Well look who’s out of Africa”)

Also take note of the peacock feather stuck to CC. What the hell happened at the zoo? I’m laughing imagining Brighton provoking a peacock and it chasing after them or something. ON A SIDE NOTE HOW FUNNY WOULD IT HAVE BEEN IF FRAN AND MAX MADE NILES TAG ALONG ON THIS ZOO TRIP? SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE THIS FOR ME. Anyway, Brighton threw up in her hat. Maggie has a small bladder. Grace just misses Fran (honestly cry me a river, Grace. It was oNE DAY.) The kids can’t shut up about Fran so CC tells them Fran only enjoys hanging out with them because she gets paid to do it and the kids run off upset. I think this is where the audience is supposed to be like “wow CC is so heartless” but I still find her hilarious.

Niles follows through on making her that drink and he just looks so damned amused this whole scene. He also never steps in and is like hey CC, maybe stop talking to the kids like this. Probably because he’s so enamored by her every move. Probably.

The next scene opens at Sylvia’s apartment as mother and daughter get ready for their cousin’s wedding. Believe it or not these are not the worst outfits Sylvia and Fran wear on the show. This scene is really funny – Sylvia uses pink nail polish instead of clear to fix a run in her stockings. Fran is like “It looks like you got bit” and Sylvia says “I should be so lucky” (same though.) Fran combs out her dad’s toupee. Sylvia keeps her shoes in the freezer so her feet don’t swell. Fran glues her dad’s toupee to her hand.

The doorbell rings and it’s Gracie, sporting this obnoxious face. Fran is like “What are you doing here” and Grace is like ��I missed you” OKAY THIS IS JUST WEIRD AND SAD THE KID CAN’T GO ONE DAY WITHOUT FRAN? We’re not even through disc 1 yet, people! Fran thinks it’s sweet and Sylvia is the voice of reason (the first and last time I’m sure I’ll say that) and says Fran could get fired for this.

The next scene opens like this and honestly, same, CC.  Also is Niles bringing her a tray of tea and snacks? Keep your teabag in your pants, Niles. But also I’m so here for this.

Maxwell comes in with a mouthful of gauze, which he promptly pulls out and hands to Niles. Oh, I was wrong, Niles.  THIS is as good as it gets.

Fran calls and realizes no one has realized Grace is missing yet so they decide to mess with the family. “Missing children” is a hilarious joke topic, if I do say so myself! Fran asks to talk to Grace. CC offers to go get her. Grace is like “she’s not gonna find me” and makes the above face ^^^. Honestly I’d ground her and give her no dessert for at least a week. Fran is super amused though. Max waxes poetic about how wonderful CC is with the kids and then CC comes running down, frantic because Grace is missing.  Grace gets on the phone and then Fran tells Max to meet them at the wedding.

So this is what a wedding in Flushing looks like. (side note: I’m pretty sure those chairs are used 3508 more times throughout the series.) Fran sends Gracie off to go talk to another kid.

CC and Max come in and this is their reaction to the reception. Perfect.

Fran calls them over and Sylvia is so excited to see Max again and she whips out a fan and I can’t stop laughing. I don’t know why that’s so funny to me, like why does she have a fan? She yells for Morty to come over and CC and Max make matching expressions and CC is like “Oh god, it’s hereditary.” Neva change, Babs.

Anyway, Sylvia leaves to go find Morty and Grace comes back and Max is like “yo grace what the hell” and Grace looks at CC to explain what happened. CC reacts by smothering a small child. Bless her heart.

Max is like “Come on Grace let’s go it’s Fran’s day off” and Grace is like “So it’s true: Fran only hangs out with me because she’s paid to” and they all realize CC told her this. A fight breaks out as Fran’s uncle brings over his nephew, an aspiring actor. I think this is the kid from Full House and Little Rascals.

They all yell at the kid to shut up at the same time and it’s a beautiful moment, if I say so myself. Grace runs off to the bathroom to cry during the commotion (this kid has a real problem with running away. No dessert for two weeks, if she were my kid.)

Fran and Grace have a heart to heart (I won’t complain. At least it’s not another Magge heart to heart. By the way, Maggie was barely featured in this episode. I guess God realized I wouldn’t be able to handle kidney stones and a Maggie-centric episode next time I recapped.) Fran tells Grace she’s paid to look after her, but not paid to love her.

Grace goes off to dance with her father and Fran goes over to CC. CC is like “I try so hard to be loving and sensitive” and the nephew comes back to juggle and CC goes “BEAT IT YOU UNTALENTED LITTLE TROLL” which is my favorite sentence in the history of dialogue.

Look how scared the kid is. CC Babcock for President. The kid runs away, probably scarred for life, and Fran and CC continue the conversation completely unfazed by what just happened (which makes me laugh – like CC’s face immediately returns to neutral and Fran just takes a seat.)

Fran basically tells CC she doesn’t live under their roof and if she ever hurts the kids again they’ll be wiping her blue blood off the walls. It’s so touching. (My kingdom to have a Fran/CC friendship is slowly crumbling to the ground all around me.)

Fran gets up and watches Max and Grace dance. Sylvia doesn’t give a shit and tells her to cut in. She’s ruthless, that Sylvia.

The post credits scene features Fran torturing CC by making her listen to the nephew singing Put on a Happy Face. I just remembered something! There is definitely a post-credits scene in the future where Niles hums the same song to CC which warms my cold, dead heart. And on a final note, I have to say it, again, warms my cold, dead heart that torture for CC is listening to children singing, because same.

[thenannyreviewed]

1x04 The Nuchslep

Hello, hello I’m back! I’ve been busy catching up on schoolwork because last week I was in Austin seeing LAUREN LANE AND DANIEL DAVIS IN A PLAY TOGETHER AND MEETING THEM AFTERWARDS! You can read all about it here or here. I was worried because I was so happy after meeting my two favorite people in the world ... would I have the strength to continue to snark about this show? HOWEVER, I was truly blown away by their chemistry and what great actors they are that I’m now bitter they weren’t utilized way more on the show. So snark on, I shall.

Before I get started, I have a confession to make: I thought this was the episode where Niles dates Cloris Leachman (I don’t know why.) I was wrong. It’s the one where Fran dates James Marsden. I never said I was perfect.

The episode opens with Niles sneezing in the pantry, which I’m pretty sure is a set seen only in this episode. Fran comes in, wearing the same vest from the previous episode by the way, and asks if he’s feeling okay. He says he’s feeling a bit queer. Fran misunderstands and says “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” I’ll just leave that at that.

He tells her queer is british for sick. She then kisses his forehead and reports that he’s got a temperature of 99.3. Niles compliments her on her skillful lips and I immediately took a 4 day break from recapping this episode. (I can deal with any ship on this show. Niles and CC. Fran and Max. CC and Max. CC and Fran. Once I even had an erotic dream involving Niles and Max in a hot tub. I might have been on ambien. But Fran and Niles are just a huge no for me.) Fran sends Niles to bed and offers to take care of dinner, much to the horror of the rest of the family.

Relax, family! She’s just gonna order Chinese food!!!! She does one of my biggest pet peeves, which is calls to order food and THEN asks the family what they want to eat. She asks Grace what she feels like, and Grace says she feels trapped, and Fran says they should order the dysfunctional family platter, thus fulfilling their requirement of one inappropriate mental health joke per episode, I guess.

Maxwell comes in, all out of sorts because Niles is queer (maybe I’ll have that hot tub dream again tonight) and not cooking dinner. He offers to take them all out to the 21 Club, which the kids don’t want to do but Fran is all for ($$$$$$$). The kids win (I don’t know why they’re so excited to have Chinese food take out. Maybe it’s one of those things where the rich enjoy slumming it every now and then.)

The Chinese food is an hour and a half late, and when it finally arrives - SURPRISE! It’s James Marsden, the dude who kissed Maggie in the Pilot! Look how happy he is to see her! I know that feel. (All kidding aside, he really is happy to see her. I just chose the absolute perfect picture instead of using a happy one.) We get to see Maggie act like an awkward idiot around him for like a minute, he asks her out, Fran and Maggie squeal in excitement, and then Brighton reminds them that Maxwell is gonna be pissed.

Maxwell has no right to be pissed after the stunt he pulls in the next scene. He and CC enter the office and are being all flirtatious. It’s her birthday and they have dinner plans at Le Cirque (nah they’re totally not banging though, right?) but first Maxwell has a surprise for her. He gets down on one knee, takes her hand in his, says she’s been alone too long and she deserves to come home to someone who loves her, tells her to close her eyes and put out her hand...

And gives her a god damn dog. Welcome to the series, Chester Drescher! I’m sure because he’s just a dog he won’t take away TOO much screen time from certain main characters on the show*. (*Wrong.)

CC is naturally confused. (“An engagement dog?” she asks.) I would be too if someone just went and got me a dog without asking if I wanted a dog. Or if I had allergies. Or if my apartment allowed pets. But no, get her a dog, Maxwell. That seems like a great idea. Chester growls as soon as she picks him up (”Fluffy, and a good judge of character,” Niles quips.), which isn’t even him acting. In real life the dog was fiercely loyal to Fran Drescher and didn’t really like other people (They talk about it when Lauren was on Fran’s talk show and maybe also at the reunion??) I wonder if they all had to sign stuff being like “Hey we won’t sue you if the dog bites us.”

Maxwell assures CC the dog just needs to get used to her, that we can’t just expect him to love her right away (clearly Maxwell knows nothing about dogs.) So of course Fran comes in right away and the dog leaps up into her arms and lovingly licks her face. CC’s life is great. Fran even gets to name the dog. Happy birthday, CC!!!!!! She says she’ll meet Maxwell at the restaurant after she takes the dog home and puts him to sleep. Fran worriedly asks if she means put him to bed, and CC says “Whatever.” and leaves. What a god damn princess. I love her so. If anyone should be put to sleep, it’s Maxwell for thinking getting her a dog was a good idea.

Fran asks Max if Maggie can go on the date and they argue about it for a few minutes before he finally agrees that she can go...if Fran chaperones. Fran says she doesn’t want to be the nuchslep which she explains means the loser who has to tag along on a date. Maxwell, as evidenced in the above picture though, does not give a shit.

The date goes about as well as you’d expect a date to go where your nanny has to chaperone. Maggie is awkward and doesn’t know how to interact with humans. Fran and James Marsden do all the talking.

The next day, Maggie is a mess because of what a disaster the date was. (On a side note, look how good that breakfast looks.) She’s also snippy with Fran because Fran did all the talking on the date. (Well what did you expect, Maggie? If Fran didn’t talk you guys would have just sat there awkwardly all night!) To make matters worse, James Marsden calls. For Fran. To see her Friday night. Maggie storms off in a fit of rage over Fran stealing her boyfriend and I have to wonder if she knows how the world works. James Marsden is a teenager. Does she really think her nanny is going to date him? Fran and Max then discuss what a terrible idea it was for Fran to be a chaperone and Fran realizes Maggie doesn’t need a nanny. She needs a friend.

Fran and Maggie then have roughly their 240th heart to heart of the series, and Fran introduces her to the Official Girlfriends Code. The OGC. It includes rules such as: If your friend falls for a guy but the guy falls for you, you’re obliged to dump him. Maggie is like “You would do that for me?” And I’m like “Maggie why do you think Fran is going to seriously start dating a teenager? This isn’t All American Girl: The Mary Kay Letourneau Story.”

Anyway, James Marsden comes over and it turns out he doesn’t want to date Fran (color me shocked!) He wants her to give Max his resume and headshot! He just didn’t want to ask Maggie because he genuinely likes her and didn’t want to appear to be using her. Fran goes and gets Maggie (and finds everybody snooping in the pantry, which again makes me wonder why they didn’t use this scenery more) and all is well.

Just wanted to point out the outfit Maggie has on though, because what in gods name is that? @ James Marsden are you sure you want to date her? (I’m guessing his answer is no because this is the last episode we see him in.)

Next CC comes in offending animal rights activists all over the world. Fran and Max look horrified, because I guess this is the episode where everyone believes everyone capable of doing truly horrific things. Maggie thinks Fran will date a teenage boy. Fran and Max think CC will skin her dog and wear him around her neck.

The dog comes scampering in and goes right to Fran and CC is 40 billion percent done with all of these people. Look at her face. I can’t stop laughing. She’s just so done.

Fran tells Chester he better be good because CC might need a matching muff one day, because CC is, I guess, a deranged serial killer who got her start killing animals. And they all lived happily ever after!!!!!!!

Oh wait! It’s not over! The ending credits feature Fran flossing Chester’s teeth. Because that’s what the fans want. 30 seconds of dog flossing.

[thenannyreviewed]

1x03 My Fair Nanny

Before I get started, just wanted to remind you all that LAUREN LANE (CC BABCOCK) AND DANIEL DAVIS (NILES) ARE DOING A PLAY TOGETHER FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY IN AUSTIN TEXAS ON THE 13TH (LINK HERE) SO IF YOU’RE IN THE AREA YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO.

I think I pinpointed what was wrong with the previous episode for me: Niles and CC didn’t interact at all. I can’t blame the writers too much; we were only 2 episodes in and they couldn’t have predicted what a hit Niles and CC would be. When I perfect the art of time travel I’ll do us all a solid and go back and give them a heads up. I know, I know. Not the hero you guys need......but the one you deserve.

The episode opens with Fran teaching Maxwell and Brighton about typical father/son bonding by having a catch. Look at the confusion/disgust on Maxwell’s face. I know that feel. Sports. Blech. Bring back Carol Channing from the previous episode already!

Fran insists Maxwell put his cap on which he does and looks rather adorable. Fran tells him to try to be cool and flips the hat on backwards. Look at the look of resignation on his face. Well, Maxwell, you hired her. You have only yourself to blame. Anyway, the boys high five and get out of there and then Gracie comes down the steps worried about flying a kite due to separation anxiety.

Fran alleviates the child’s fears with the following pearls of wisdom “A kite is like a really cute guy. You give him some slack, let him fly free, then at the end of the day, you yank his string, and reel him back in.”

Is “yank his string” a euphemism?

Grace's separation anxiety is suddenly cured, and she replies with the following: “And you hang him on a hook til you wanna use him again.” Well, no arguments from this corner.

Following the opening credits, it’s breakfast time. CC comes in wearing ...this. I honestly tried to describe it but words have failed me. The important thing to note is you will see this shirt again at some point. I forget exactly when, but I know it’s coming. One does not simply forget this shirt. For the billionth time I have to wonder what sort of heinous crime Lauren Lane committed to so thoroughly piss off the wardrobe department. (Parts of seasons 3, 4, and 6 not included.)

Anyway, I lost my train of thought for a moment. CC comes in and she and Maxwell gaze lovingly at one another because I guess we’re never meant to understand what their relationship is or was before Fran arrived. (And if he can look at her that lovingly while she is wearing that, I gotta believe they banged at least a handful of times.)

I got sidetracked again. I’m sorry (I blame the shirt.) CC asks if the name Maureen Wentworth rings a bell and Maxwell has no idea who she is, again reminding us all that CC Babcock is the smartest character on the show and the reason Maxwell has any success in producing theatre. CC gets us all up to speed. Maureen Wentworth is rich and she invested in their last show and her ancestors came over on the Mayflower (which maybe explains CC’s shirt choice) and she’s got a daughter Maggie’s age.

That’s right folks. This is a Maggie episode. Lord beer me strength. Anyway, Maureen and her daughter are members of a cotillion society and they invited Maggie to be a junior debutante. Everyone is genuinely excited for this, except Maggie. ("Excuse me but does anyone care how I feel about this?” She asks. “I know I don’t,” Brighton answers for us all. I love him so.) Maggie doesn’t want to do it because she likes having no friends and sitting in (I’m paraphrasing.) Fran agrees with CC that it’s a good idea and Maggie throws a hissy fit and storms out of the room.

I only included this screenshot so you guys could appreciate the photo on the piano. Maxwell not only had glamour shots of himself done; he also displayed them proudly for the family and guests to see. I think the purple background gives it a nice touch. Fran and Maggie have a talk about how Maggie is not popular but Fran believes she could be popular if she follows Fran’s advice. Fran’s advice is to suck up to the low man on the popularity totem pole and talk about boys, clothes, and Marky Mark. I wish I took this advice instead of joining the high school production of Pippin my freshman year. Maybe then I, too, could have been popular.

In the next scene Maggie is taking Fran’s advice and making friends and blah blah (she’s got a coral shirt on and green plaid pants so I don’t know how successful Fran’s advice is yet. I spared you all from seeing it because I already made you look at CC’s purple shirt. #never4get) but anyway who even cares because look at this! The doorbell rings and CC brushes by Niles and asks for Maxwell. Niles teases her for basically ignoring him and she says Maxwell wants contracts in London by morning. Niles holds out his broom and says “Well here, hop on. With the time difference you’ll just make it.” They just love each other so much, you guys. CC glares and I’m wondering when she starts fighting back? I will keep an eye out.

Meanwhile Maggie interrupts Niles and CC’s gazing into one another’s eyes to let Fran know that Cindy Wentworth (the rich lady mentioned earlier’s daughter) wants to know what to bring to the potluck society tea Fran is hosting tomorrow. (Potato salad, naturally.) CC is, understandably, floored by this news.

God Niles, keep it in your pants.

CC has her doubts about whether Fran can successfully pull this off. I can’t imagine why. (No but can I pause for a sec: this would have been such a good time to force Fran and CC into a situation together where they don’t get along but then maybe by the end forge some sort of bond. Like Fran needs to impress society women and CC IS a society woman and neither of them wants to see Maggie embarrass herself in front of all these rich snobs so it’s like they have a common goal but what do I know right?)

CC also says a society woman should have style and flare...where have I heard that before?

Maxwell had one catch with Brighton so now he thinks he’s good at baseball. I know that feel. Like when I was in the chorus of Pippin and thought I would become a famous actress. Spoiler alert: I’m a nurse. Spoiler alert: Maxwell breaks an expensive vase. Fran comes in and lets Max and Niles know that CC has no faith in her and for once, Nile and Max kind of back CC up. They decide to My Fair Lady the shit out of Fran in under 24 hours. We also get a pretty classic line here. “That’s because we’re British.” “Yes, we can say anything we like and people think it’s Shakespeare.”

The training goes really well.

This is when they want to dress Fran in her dress bag (because 2 straight men were obviously the solution to this instead of the blonde heiress Maxwell works with who knows how this stuff works but I digress) but more importantly, isn’t that jacket on the far right the same one Yetta wore in the previous episode?! 

It is!

Niles and Max pulled it off. Fran makes her grand entrance down the stairs with her arms outstretched, all the nasal gone from her voice. The party is a real snoozefest of course. And Maggie throws another temper tantrum.

Cheer up, emo kid. Fran comes into the kitchen and she and Maggie have their 34th heart to heart of the series. Maggie wants to be more like Fran and Fran wants to be more like Maggie (why?) and Fran takes her hair out and changes back into her regular clothes and they have the party Fran originally planned. That Wentworth lady even wants to invest in Maxwell’s latest play!

Yep, everything’s going really great for everyone. Oh, except for CC who gets told by a psychic that she sees no “tall dark handsome nothing” in her future. Whatever, psychic. Maxwell still totally wanted to hit it even in that purple disaster of a top. And Niles wants to hit it always.

Fran picks the best present for herself, and they all live happily ever after!

Well, almost everyone. We still haven’t seen the last of that shirt.

[thenannyreviewed]

Taking a break from my snark to SIGNAL BOOST THIS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS IT’S NILES AND CC PLEASE GO!!!

ATTENTION ALL NANNY FANS:

There are now cheaper tickets to see Love Letters starring Lauren Lane and Daniel Davis! So if you’re in the Texas area you should seriously consider going because it’s only one night and IT’S NILES AND CC TOGETHER AGAIN!

[thenannyreviewed]

1x02 Smoke Gets in Your Lies

Episode 2 marks the beginning of Grandma Yetta’s inclusion on the show. You know Grandma Yetta, that super important character featured in the opening credits? No? Okay well anyway. Let’s dive in!

The episode opens with Fran telling Niles that her best friend Val is coming over and she really wants her to drop dead upon seeing the mansion and the butler and all that jazz ($$$$$$$). Fran is such a good friend. She poses very naturally as seen above. If I were Val, i wouldn’t drop dead. I would be like “What are you doing? Are you ok? What’s the matter? Are you having a stroke?” But that’s just me. 

Val enters the mansion and promptly proclaims “I’m dropping dead.” Niles asks for her coat and she asks if she’ll get a stub and Fran explains that you don’t even have to tip Niles. Have these people ever visited anyone else’s homes before? I get that it’s a mansion with a butler but still.

The two discuss how Jackie O is Fran’s neighbor  and she’s having trouble with John-John. Fran knowingly says it’s how you raise your kids, and with hers she has no problems. Val, in a rare moment of clarity, points out Fran has only been the nanny for 2 weeks. As if to back Val up, the kids choose that moment to come in fighting because Maggie has a pimple and Brighton enjoys making fun of Maggie. Note Fran’s reaction above to the bullying.

Brighton says he’s just bad to the bone and Fran just has to one-up him and let her know how bad the boys in Flushing were. She tells him about Lenny Brown, this kid who had a smoker’s cough by the 4th grade. Brighton makes the above face. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. And the opening credits roll.

The next scene opens with Fran bragging about being a 4 time Dean’s List-er at beauty school so she’s giving Maggie an orange peel facial thing for the pimple. Next she finds a paper from Brighton’s school about this big carnival they’re having that weekend. Maxwell can’t go because he’s auditioning composers for the musical he has opening in 8 weeks. How the musical made it that far into production with no music, I’ll never understand. Maybe that’s why Andrew Lloyd Webber is more successful than Maxwell. Anyway, Fran guilts Maxwell about not going but his mind is made up. And look at the way he looks at Maggie. This might be one of my favorite screenshots of the series, or at least season one.

Fran realizes Maxwell needs to audition composers so that the musical is successful because how else could he afford the life with which she has become so accustomed ($$$$$$$$$$)

The next scene Fran colors in Maggie’s mole and Maggie says she looks like John-Boy Walton. I had to google what he looked like because my only knowledge of The Waltons is that it used to air on Hallmark in the mornings and it always bummed me out because I would have rather had a full morning of The Golden Girls. But I laughed at the comparison. Did Maggie Sheffield just make me laugh? Is the world ending?

Brighton comes in and tries to get Fran to sign a paper without revealing what it’s actually for but Fran is from FLUSHING so he can’t pull one over on her!!!! Fran finds out he was caught smoking in school and she goes to tell Maxwell, but Brighton reminds her he got the idea from her and grins evilly as he blackmails her. This is the first inkling the show gives that Brighton Sheffield might be a sociopath. Fran goes and talks to Niles about her problems and he tells her the previous nannies all signed school forms, so Fran can do that too and save her ass. Fran considers this but then says the evil eye will get her - which means her Grandma Yetta will curse her or something. I don’t know.

10 minutes in and we finally get a CC sighting! They’re holding music auditions for their show and this guy is intense and has no talent. Fran interrupts but can’t seem to tell Maxwell what it is Brighton did, so he gets annoyed and says she can handle it on her own. She goes and tells Niles who reminds her of the evil eye, and then a picture crashes down and almost hits her. Uh oh.

Here’s CC shooting her fakest smile at the musician, just because.

Breakfast is tense the next morning, what with Niles suggestively licking his fingers and making that face. No I’m kidding. That’s just why I’m tense. Fran feels guilty and Maxwell decides he wants the family to attend the carnival at Brighton’s school, so Brighton is nervous. Fran tries to get them out of it but ultimately confesses to Brighton smoking. When Maxwell asks him about it, instead of ratting Fran out, Brighton says “I didn’t inhale.” The kid’s got a future in politics.

Maxwell and Fran fight over him not paying enough attention to the children and Maxwell says he thinks he just had a small stroke. And I just realized Fran’s robe has alphabet blocks on it? Anyway, he sends Fran to her room, which Fran inexplicably finds adorable, and goes off to the theatre.

Maxwell is being a complete dick at the theatre which CC loves. Also is she sporting a monocle? Good for her.

AND THEN LEGENDARY ACTRESS CAROL CHANNING WALKS OUT AND AUDITIONS, BUT MAXWELL IMMEDIATELY CUTS HER OFF WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING.

This is the exact moment on the series when you realize CC is actually the brains behind the operation. 

Fran walks out and tries to sing People but Maxwell cuts her off too but at least I got that frightening screencap. And are those outstretched arms? I think so!

Fran and Max have a super serious discussion (as pictured above) about how Brighton must like Fran since he didn’t tell on her. They agree they need to scare him into never smoking again, so Fran calls her mother.

Here she is, folks: Grandma Yetta. Fran, Max, and Brighton go visit her at the retirement home.

They tell Yetta that Brighton was caught smoking and she furiously carts him off to go meet Ethel, who is, as Yetta describes it: “Phlegm in a hairnet.” Brighton tearfully yells that he’ll never smoke again, thus concluding a very special episode of The Nanny.

Meanwhile I hope this image haunts your dreams tonight:

[thenannyreviewed]

1x01 Pilot

Well, here we go. Here goes nothing! The show opens in a bridal shop (you’ll hear all about it in the theme song for the next 6 seasons in case you’re confused! Don’t worry!) And we get our very first view of Fran Fine... sporting a black jumpsuit over a yellow floral peasant top with flared sleeves and a choker necklace. Very subtle.

Fran compliments the bride telling her she looks just like a virgin (setting feminism back about 50 years) then offers her crackers for her morning sickness. I’m also pretty sure this bride plays about 75 other roles on the show throughout the series. I’ll keep an eye out. The bride asks when Fran and Danny are gonna get married and Fran decides to use that moment to ask her boyfriend the same question. At work. In front of two other people. That’s where I like to do all my relationship discussions too, which is probably why I can’t get a job for the life of me. That, or I decided to start a Nanny blog instead of actively looking for employment. Either or.

Next we meet Danny and you have to wonder why Fran even wants to marry this guy. Did people really dress like this in the 90′s? Was everyone living in a bad 70′s porn in Flushing in the 90′s? Anyway, Fran says they have been pre-engaged for 3 years and I wonder if that’s really a thing that people do. Like did he give her a promise ring? Is this high school? He probably can’t afford an engagement ring because he spent his money on that ridiculous gold chain. Danny says he has been meaning to talk to her but he wanted to do it someplace special (ie, not at work in front of the pregnant bride. Maybe this guy has some brains after all!)

Spoiler alert! He doesn’t have brains! He’s been meaning to tell her he wants to see other people and that he’s been feeling this way since he started seeing Heather Biblow. (Who we learn a couple seasons later is Pamela Anderson!) Honestly this guy is a real slimeball and you have to wonder why Fran’s family and friends let her put up with this guy for so long. Next Danny fires her because his new girlfriend needs a job. Fran storms out after telling him she quits, but then she comes back and says he fired her that way she can collect unemployment. She’s nothing if not resourceful. This leads to the opening credits, which I decided I’ll review since why not!

The open credits reiterate what we already know: She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes. She had style, she had flair, she was there! That’s how she became The Nanny! I think I might keep a running tab of how often these lyrics are referenced in the show.

Hey! This “CC” character gets her own shout out in the song and she’s the fourth actor credited in the opening credits! I bet this means she’s important to the writers and gets a lot of screentime*! (*Though to be fair, the song did warn us. “Watch out, CC!” No really, CC. Watch out. But we’ll get to that later. Who else is dreading season 5?!?!)

Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?

Next the kids are introduced but I honestly don’t care. You’ll meet them later.

The theme song ends with a heartwarming family shot---wait a second. Where’s that CC lady referenced in the song and shown fourth out of everyone? Surely they’ll add her in later though!* (*they don’t.)

Back to the show. Fran arrives at the mansion holding a Shades of the Orient (because that’s not offensive) makeup briefcase. Niles answers the door (the theme song lies and says it’s Maxwell but the theme song also made it seem like CC was important to the writers on this show so whatever!)

He asks if she’s there for the nanny position and Fran takes one look around and says abso-fucking-lutely. Can we talk about how hot Niles looks here? No because that’s not part of the recap? Fine. Moving on. Niles asks for her resume and Fran tells him to go get Mr. Sheffield and she’ll present her resume herself. Niles mutters “this oughtta be good” under his breath.

Next we find ourselves in Max and CC’s office. CC is sitting on the desk, but I’m sure because she’s such an important character that soon she’ll have her own desk because this is just the first episode so they haven’t finalized all the scenery yet!* (*CC never gets her own desk.)

Maxwell is all stressed out about work and CC calls him darling and offers him a massage. Since I decided to try and watch this show with an open mind (lol) I’ll say it honestly seems like they’re a couple or friends with benefits at this point. Niles comes in and quips that CC is busy as always. She says theatre has always been a passion of hers and Niles says “I can’t wait to see what you’ll be mounting next.” ZING. So these two hate each other. Obviously I immediately want them to bang. 

CC just glares at Niles and Maxwell either isn’t paying attention or doesn’t care (this will be a running theme on the show) that his butler just insulted this woman he works with who he lets massage him. Niles says they have a new nanny here to interview and CC asks what happened to the old one. They explain Brighton scared her off with another fake suicide attempt. CC says they have an important backers party and she will NOT have the children running around. Max and Niles react as if what CC said is wrong but were we all paying attention just now when they talked about how one of his kids goes around faking suicide? Would you want them there at an important party for backers?! So, so far we can all agree CC is the smartest character on the show.

Meanwhile out in the living room, Fran is writing her resume in lipstick, and we meet Brighton Sheffield! Fran is unfazed by the fake suicide attempt (later she says it’s because she grew up in Flushing and there’s nothing these kids could throw at her that she hasn’t already dealt with and I gotta wonder if fake suicide attempts are common in Flushing.)

Maxwell and Niles come back and Fran immediately recognizes Maxwell as one of Esquire Magazine’s 10 most eligible widowers ($$$$$$$$$$) and then she belatedly offers her condolences and doesn’t at all sound sincere in doing so. This is a picture I just edited on snapchat to indicate what really went down in this scene:

Anyway.

Fran and Max discuss her resume and Brighton declares that he hates Fran. Maxwell tells him not to be hasty and Fran is like “Yeah I haven’t even sung Climb Ev’ry Mountain yet” which is something I desperately wish actually occurred on the show. Next, Maggie and Gracie come home (which makes me wonder why Brighton was already home (though I am laughing that he’s just chilling on the couch with his gameboy with a fake knife in his chest still.) Niles continues to just stand in the background smiling at the scene before him. CC is probably in the office sans desk doing actual work.

Fran showers Maggie with compliments but Maggie is super dull and boring and immediately leaves to do her homework. Makes a great first impression. I can tell I’m going to love this character!* (*I don’t.) Brighton sarcastically says she really lights up a room and I’m reminded of how funny Brighton is. You can tell he spent a lot of time around Niles growing up. Fran says “You don’t need personality when you’re an heiress” so we know she’s going to make an excellent role model for the children.

Maxwell then asks Grace how therapy was which gets a big hearty laugh from the audience. This is the first time we get to see what the Nanny writers think about mental health and mental illness, which is that it is a big, hearty laugh. Also gotta wonder why just Grace goes to therapy. Maggie barely talks and Brighton is fond of pretending to kill himself. But what do I know.

Brighton and Grace leave the room after Brighton bitterly references how Max hires other people to take care of his children. Maxwell is upset by this and tells Fran he needs more help than she can give him. The phone rings and Niles is nowhere to be found. Maxwell, instead of answering the phone himself, starts yelling for Niles to get it. Well, Brighton, it’s no wonder he needed to hire someone to care for his children. The man can’t even answer a telephone. Fran has enough and she answers it. It’s the nanny agency. Maxwell dismisses Fran.

Niles randomly appears out of thin air to show Fran to the door, but the nanny agency tells Max they can’t send someone out right away. He’s shit out of luck. So he has no choice but to go with Fran. To his credit he does ask if Fran has any experience with children before saying she’s hired on a temporary basis.

And then we get our first Fran/Max hug! Fran says he won’t regret hiring her and Max says he’s rather sure he will. He leaves to go back to work and tells Niles to show Fran to her room. Fran is super excited to hear she gets to move into the mansion ($$$$$$$$$$$$)

This picture is important because it’s the first bathrobe we see Fran wear and it’s also the first time we see Fran walk into a room with her arms outstretched! Anyway, she’s made herself at home. Max makes fun of her for not dressing for breakfast and Fran tells Niles he has to tell her this type of stuff. He assumed she knew and Fran once again pulls out the “I’m from Flushing!” card. Apparently people in Flushing just wander around in bathrobes faking their own suicide.

Fran asks what the kids want to do for the day and Brighton says they need to get out of the house while they prepare for Maxwell’s backer party. Fran offers up her sister’s catering service and Max says CC has made all the arrangements. Fran asks who CC is and Maggie says she’s his ~~~~lady friend. Maxwell denies it saying she’s a business associate and Niles makes the above face and sarcastically says “MmmmHmmm.” So like, what’s the deal Max and CC? What is the deal? And what is that face, Niles? Is it jealousy? I choose yes.

The phone rings and Niles goes and gets it. It’s CC. Max takes the phone and is off, saying he’ll take her in the library. Niles mutters “Miss Babcock loves to be taken in the library.” what DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NILES? Did YOU take her in the library? Did MAX take her in the library? It’s not even an insult, really, when you think about it. The woman enjoys having sex in the library. Good for her. Fran replies “I’ll bet.” Really? You’ve never met CC and all you know is she’s Max’s business associate. So this is how it’s gonna be? Great!!

Anyway, Fran disregards everything she already knows about this backers party and decides she and the kids will be attending. They’re gonna go get dresses and Maggie can bring a date! Brighton makes fun of this a lot and Fran asks him what’s wrong with him. Grace replies that he has middle child syndrome and Brighton calls her Sybil. This show loves mental health jokes.

Fran inexplicably takes the kids to the bridal shop she used to work at. She’s got 3 children of a millionaire with her and she takes them there. She asks Maggie what her favorite color is and Maggie says “Beige” which I think sums up the character of Maggie Sheffield pretty well.

We also meet Val in this scene. She was in the opening scene but didn’t do much. But don’t worry, Val can’t be important right? Because she’s not mentioned or credited in the theme song!* (*Val sometimes gets more screentime than CC.)

Fran tells Val about the kids. She says Maggie’s got no personality, Gracie’s got multiple personalities (sigh.) and then she realizes Brighton is missing. It’s all good though. He’s just inspecting the anatomy of a mannequin. Maggie has socks with sandals on by the way which you can see in this picture. In case you weren’t hating Maggie yet.

Cut to the night of the party! Max comes up to CC and they kind of shamelessly flirt. He calls her handsome which ugh, if you guys take anything away from this blog, I hope it’s to never call a woman handsome (or do what you want, I don’t run your life. But don’t call me handsome.) But anyway, look at them!?? What even is this?! Were they a couple?! Were they friends with benefits?! It sure seems like it. Oh and I guess CC got a haircut from her last scene because it’s way shorter than it was before.

Ah, and here we have Fran’s very first stairwell entrance (I’m gonna keep track of this too.) AND a “blink-and-you-might-miss-it” shot of her walking with outstretched arms!  CC asks “What’s that?” and Maxwell answers “That’s the nanny.” which is one of the most iconic moments of the show, in my opinion. Maxwell is floored by how crazy bangable Fran looks and CC is understandably annoyed with this because like a minute and a half ago he was all over her. Maxwell is like “Oh you look nice too CC” and she reminds him he said “handsome” and IDK why she doesn’t just knee him in the groin in this scene. He doesn’t even properly introduce Fran and CC. Anyway, Fran says the kids are ready and Maxwell is like “They weren’t invited.” and Fran is like “Is my face red?” and CC goes “Well now it matches the rest of you.” and Niles goes “There’s that rapier wit we’ve come to count on.”

Yeah but then he looks at CC like this so I think he wants to bang her.

Maxwell introduces his children to everyone and Fran says it’s so sweet and “couldn’t you just drop dead?” to which Queen CC replies “I don’t know, could you?” And I immediately want these two to become best friends. 

The party is a huge hit and here is CC demanding more alcohol from Niles just because I like this moment.

Look at this babe. She sarcastically congratulates Nanny Fine (and thus a lifelong nickname is born) and looks really good while doing it.

Maxwell goes into another room (the library? Is this where CC likes to be taken?) to put his checks away and finds Maggie making out with James Marsden. He immediately gets super pissed off and kicks James Marsden out (if you think I’m calling him anything other than James Marsden you’re sorely mistaken)

Fran is excited for Maggie and Maggie is mad at Maxwell and Maxwell is mad at Fran. CC perks up at all of this because she’s a precious angel and Niles looks at her like that. That’s not even me being biased. Doesn’t he look amused by her?

Max fires Fran and she says she quits then takes it back so she can collect unemployment. Everyone seems sad to see her go.

See what I mean?

Next scene, Maxwell is sitting alone in the ...library? Office? Idk what room this is supposed to be. And he’s all emo staring at a picture of his dead wife. Niles enters and tells him he drove CC home (!!! give me fic for this plz!!!!) and that he called Betty Ford and Maxwell seems used to these kinds of comments from him. Max admits he overreacted and Niles gets him to admit Miss Fine is just what he needed by making him a sandwich, which I get because I have all my important revelations in life while eating sandwiches. Also this foreshadows how often Niles will be involved in getting Fran and Max together. 

Cut to Fran at her parents’ house in Flushing. Weird, they’re not in bathrobes and no one is faking a suicide? Was I lied to? We meet Sylvia, Fran’s mom, but she’s not credited in the theme song so she can’t be that important right?* (*Wrong.)

Sylvia says my life motto in this scene: Passion goes, sex goes, communication - we never had, but food is forever.

Sylvia then yells for Fran’s dad Morty offscreen but we don’t see him. Good! This must mean he can never take away screen time from any of the important characters featured in the opening credits!* (*Wrong.)

Maxwell shows up and Sylvia tells Fran to put on some blush, thus foreshadowing how often she will be involved in Fran’s love life. Fran asks how Maggie is and he says she won’t talk to him but Brighton is taking care of her (aw this kind of melts my cold, dead heart.) They talk about how they come from 2 different worlds and Maxwell suggests they give it another try.

Fran excitedly leaps up and gives him a hug and Sylvia snaps a picture. And thus concludes the very first episode of The Nanny!

[thenannyreviewed]

Hello, hello!

Hi everyone! I’m Kate and you can normally find me over on ccbabcocks! So, as everyone knows, I love The Nanny. I also enjoy snark. And sometimes, as much as I love this show, it makes it very easy to snark at. I had toyed with the idea of a Nanny recapping blog in the past, but thought much like diet and exercise, this would be one of those ideas I had that never saw the light of day. But then friends asked me to recap or analyze episodes or scenes and they were kind of a hit? So I thought why not make a blog where I could do every episode in order in an organized way!

Also, confession time: I have never watched The Nanny in order from start to finish.

GASP.

Are you still with me? Do I dare even call myself a real fan of the show?! Hear me out. Back in the day, when I first got into the show, they were airing season 4 episodes (so obviously I got sucked in as it is a truth universally acknowledged that season 4 of The Nanny is the best.) And this was before DVR and finding the episodes online.  And Lifetime didn’t really air the episodes in order. I had to record episodes onto VHS’s when I wanted to rewatch. It was tragic.

But now after 13 years of misery and torture, having to watch episodes on Youtube and pretend I was a native of Costa Rica to steal their Netflix (I’m not proud but hey thanks for looking out, Costa Rica) the complete series was released on DVD this past Spring. And I’ve really only watched season 4 since then (can you blame me? It’s so good, you guys! I’m already excited for season 4.)

So sit back, relax, hopefully enjoy the snark, and get to experience The Nanny in order for the first time through my eyes. Look for the first recap in a few days!