thenewsboysrazorblades - Tumblr blog

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Back to Birmingham Part Ten

The jockeys were fast raging and whipping the hind ends of their steeds, the jockey on number four was coasting at the middle gap, and consistently gaining in the corner, third place, second place. Stagecoach was running for all its worth, and the jockey never striking him, the horse knew what it was supposed to do. Thomas’ horse, Diamondback was sitting happily in third place behind Ursway’s baby. 

The woman’s hand gripping onto Thomas’ hand below you slightly, many of the crowd gathering to their feet and cheering. First place rider, slipped on the railing, tumbling to the ground, Stagecoach taking the lead just at the finish line. Polly grabbed your hand, squeezing it twice. 

“You’ve done it, doll.” She whispered as she threw back her glass of Scotch. The rest of the events happening in a blur, Adona being pulled away for interviews and Tommy at her beck and call. Arthur was close behind you and Polly as you were to go and collect your winnings. It seemed that you had been the only other party that had placed Adona’s horse in the first place slot. Stagecoach would soon be welcoming its new owners and home on the property of Shelby Limited Company, that was if only you wished it. 

Once collecting your winnings Arthur hailed you and Poll a car, being sure that he held back to be with his brother. Poll and you proceeded to Tommy’s house, she laughing the whole way.

“I can’t wait to see the look on that peaches face when she finds out that you bet on her horse to take it all.” Polly commenced to laughing.

“I think she’s still working for Sabini.” Poll quit laughing as the door was opened by Tommy’s house maid and you both went into the parlor.

“Why’d you have to kill my mood?” Poll sighed.

“I’m serious Poll, why else would she turn so quickly. A man steps out on a woman? Tommy didn’t bother to let me know that he’s been sleeping with her, that’s not enough to make me turn and go to Sabini.” Poll held her finger up to her mouth, and went to slide the parlor door closed. “It’s not like they can hear us.” Your brow furrowed.

“Everybody talks.” Her eyes shifted into slits. “I also believe you are in fact onto something, we’ve believed it for some time. Ever since Sabini came in and took our bookies out, love. Tommy just won’t see reason, at least before, or from us.” She walked around you briefly.

“What are you saying Polly?” She walked another lap around you whilst lighting a cigarette.

“Before you. He couldn’t see past a pretty face, but you’re back. That’s throwing him into a tailspin of who he was before the war.” She pointed at you with the cigarette between her fingers. “You’re our ticket to get him to see reason and outing that bitch for what she is.” Poll’s smile turned wicked. 

“So I’m to sell her out, is that it? How am I going to do that, if I can’t even leave this mansion?” The wavering feeling of all of the bruises that had accumulated before, were now a bit less achy but they were still there. 

“Exactly.” Poll pursed her lips around the cigarette a pulled a drag. “Not to mention what those winnings of yours, could do.”

“That’s the devil, Poll. Go against Tommy like that?”

“Buy her out, give Shelby the edge they’ve needed, and the kick in the ass that he needs.” Polly pointed to the car that had just pulled around, with Tommy letting Adona out.

“What game are you playing at?” Adona came right after your throat. Tommy looking helpless in the background but also a fire in his eyes, he was mad at you, but proud. 

“You should be honored that someone would take a bet like that on your horse.” You spat back.

“That’s something you speak of before going into a betting box blind!” Adona’s grip tightened on your throat as you began to find it hard to breath, you could see a letter opener sitting on the desk near your hand, you fumbled for it.

You swallowed hard, eyes starting to water. “I....didn’t go in....blind.” The letter opener was in your hand, and you held it up level to her throat. Adona immediately let go. “It isn’t lady like for a woman to place bets, for fucks sake. So I made it in the name of Shelby Company.” Adona’s eyes widened, and she looked over to Tommy. She was shocked at this news, fearing that Tommy had made you do this. At that notion he was notoriously fuming.

“Shelby Company Limited now owns your best race horse Miss Ursway.” You spat at her, dropping the letter opener you had just held to her throat to the ground. 

“Adona....” The woman stomping out of the room with her big feather bobbing all of the way, you watched through the window as Tommy chased after her.

“Shelby Company Limited now owns all of your best race horses, Miss Ursway.” You spoke under your breath, as Jon had now joined the fun and Arthur both looked at you with scrutiny.

Upon the time that it had taken them to get back to the house and the conversation that you had, had with Polly a few phone calls were placed, and documents would be drawn up. If Miss Ursway would not sign over the horses, she would be taken into custody for illegal pan handling and for not holding to otherwise promised negotiations.

Poll clapsed a hand on your back. “Now boys, that’s how you get it done.”

Tommy was back in the room, he slammed the door closed, Poll took a step forward as to be sure to put space between the two of you.

“What in the bloody hell was that?” Tommy’s eyes shifted. “You got her to do this Poll? That’s the deal we need to land Sabini, and you let her go in and fuck it up.” 

Tommy threw his hand toward you.

“No, Thomas. She has done more to move this forward than you could ever imagine.”

He looked more confused now than ever.

“She’s working with Sabini still.” You spoke up, and pushed Poll’s arm down that was crossed in front of you.

“She’s done with Sabini....” He spoke.

“Have you done your research, have you really checked her out, before being melted by a pretty face and a good fuck?” You spoke with ice and Tommy was speechless if only for a moment. “I thought not, upon making the phone calls it has come even more so to my attention, what none of you men can see, that this woman has been toying you and stringing you along. Sabini has you right where he wants you. That’t out of the races, if you hadn’t noticed.” You kept going on your little proud speech. “Her horses were registered under a Dougie Mcdowell.” The boys looked back and forth between one another. “And none of you know who Dougie Mcdowell is, do you?” The room was still silent and Poll held a smile wider than you had seen. “He is the cousin to one Darby Sabini, if only by marriage and unfortunate circumstances. Sabini has only been bested by one man and his own blood related female cousin Tenai Sabini.” You looked around the room again to realize that noone else was stepping up to speak. “Tenai wanted into the family business, so she got herself a husband, a husband who dealt more in guns and drugs than he did in horses. Higher up than Darby’s precious parents. Dougie bought his way in, and for that the Sabini’s kept their mouths shut about his business, a dangerous man much worse than the likes of Sabini. He is also in politics and can’t be touched, he, he is your ticket to Sabini. Not Adona Ursway, she is Sabini’s handler, his confident, his whore.” 

And with that, you were done, you left the room and headed to the bedroom that Tommy had picked out for you. 

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

‘Be a Goddess among men,’ they told her. ‘No,’ she smiled. ‘I’ll be a Queen among Gods.’

freyja; goddess of beauty, sex, fertility, and war, death and sorcery. (via fenrvs)

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Back To Birmingham Part Nine

You were accustomed to Arthur, and had used Tommy’s brothers in the past to get the middle Shelby jealous but it wasn’t anything more. It was a little unusual standing next to Arthur as you proceeded to your seats, seeing the man whom had professed his love to you only two nights before with another woman was enough to make your face flush. Arthur gripped your hand tightly, and you were grateful that he did, as you watched Thomas take the row of seats in front of yours and Arthur’s. Polly sat on your right side, Arthur on your left. And Adona’s great big feather was waving in front of you. 

It didn’t help matters that this woman was clearly trying to get under your skin as she stroked the back of Tommy’s newly shaven neck. Tommy stiffened at her touch, but relaxed once he noticed that Adona had noticed him tense up. He was uncomfortable, whether it was this womans presence or your own presence that made it that much more apparent. You quickly arose from your seat, the action drawing Tommy’s attention immediately and Adona’s hand tightened on Tommy’s shoulder. 

“I’m going to get a drink and place a bet.” Arthur had arisen when you had, it was the gentlemenly thing to do, but Tommy was glued to his seat. Polly opted to accompany you and you let her. 

“That woman is playing us all like a fiddle, and there isn’t a damn thing we can do.” Polly rushed the cigarette back to her lips, and was tapping her foot on the ground.

“Next caller.” The man motioned your line forward. 

“I thought you were all crazy about her Poll.” You sniped.

“Crazy....crazy about the revenue she can bring in. The trade, the leverage we need for our company right now. She’s giving us the only upper hand that we have on Sabini right now.” Polly now visibly angered by this realization.

“Sabini?” Of course you knew who he was, you weren’t that far in a whole.

“Shhhh....” Poll looked around her shoulder anxiously and grabbed for your shoulders as the line moved again. “She used to work for him, helped with leveling the playing field. He turned on her, stepping out with another woman.” Anger flashed in your eyes again.

“Is that all this is, with this woman? Thomas is sleeping with her to get information.” Fire inflamed your insides and you could literally feel your skin crawling. The situation you had just landed yourself in. “For fucks sake. I can’t even come back for five minutes and things be jolly with Thomas Shelby.” 

“Did you say Shelby, miss?” They were up next to bet and the bookie was staring widly at you.

“That’s really none of your business is it?” You growled back.

“I didn’t mean any thing by it, miss. Just that he’s already made his.....”

“I’m not here betting for Shelby. I’m making my own bet.” Polly went to try and stop you, she just wanted a drag, and didn’t think you were serious about betting on your own. “4, Stagecoach, 200 pounds.”

The bookie tipped his hat, and noted. 

“All bets, all bets, all bets are closed.” Another bookie began ringing, you signed the paper and turned to Poll.

“Oi. You’ve done it this time.” She waggled her finger at you. “Thomas Shelby isn’t going to be happy.” She grabbed your hand, but had a rueful smile on her face all the same.

“I did learn my betting from him after all.” You stated as you let Poll drag you back to the boxes.

Arthur arose at your return, and you had a martini in your hand. Poll had a glass of scotch.

“You didn’t think to bring anything?” Arthur piped up.

“No, you’ll need to be sober for this.” Poll smirked, while Tommy and Adona turned back to face you. Thomas’ eyes begging for something. Adona’s hand lay lazily across his thigh, before the beginning of the race.

The crowd was beginning to rise to its feet, the beginning of the race was about to start. You looked down at the pamphlet in your hand.

“#4, Stagecoach, 200 pounds. First place.” - Owner: Adona Ursway

The horses and their jockeys were lined up at the starting gate. 

Everyone knew, that you didn’t bet on the horse in which your company kept, it was bad luck. However, if the bet was won there should be an offer to extended ownership of the horse. Atleast that was Thomas Shelby’s rule, the bookies here were under Sabini’s control and word would spread of someone betting against Sabini’s old informant and ex-lover. Someone who was in the company of the Shelby’s would definitely get his attention. 

You had kept up with the races before coming to back to Birmingham, and knew that Adona’s horses were fair in a race. Thomas’ Shelby’s horses were greater, but you had a gut feeling today was your day. You would dare not bet on one of Thomas’ horses, but this was standing your ground. It would be a great mistake or a great gain.

“If this works, you might have just saved us yet.” Polly whispered in your ear as the starting gun rang out. Cheers flushed through the crowd, and your stomach dropped.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

jesus. grieving for a celebrity is such a strange feeling. particularly when that someone produced something that became a part of your own personal narrative in a lot of ways - music can pervade individuals’ lives in a way that most other forms of entertainment media cannot. Chester’s voice is almost as familiar to me as that of my closest family and friends, for all the times I listened to his songs over and over again on my portable CD player. 

so it’s this strange and distinct sense of loss and yet - not. because I can listen to his voice any time I want. the music made it with me from CD through the changeover to digital tracks. so Chester lives on in this way. 

I really don’t know what I’m trying to say here. disconnected grief is a hard feeling to wrap your head around. 

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Thank You! Thank You for everything. Thank You for all songs, thank You for your beautiful voice, thank You for all great concerts, even if I wasn’t there to see you live. And now, I don’t even have a chance. I’ll miss You forever. We’ll all miss You forever. Always and forever. Thank You for everything.

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Thank you Chester for sharing your voice and music with us.  Your music inspired me to keep fighting everyday no matter how difficult life got.  Love your voice and your music! 

THANK YOU CHESTER BENNINGTON!

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

No caption can come close to describing what this guy meant to a whole generation of people, so I won’t bother adding one. You already know.

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Please let’s not remember him for how he died, but for how he lived. Let’s remember him for how he made us laugh with his constant energy and sense of humour. Let’s remember how he gave us so much life with his energy, both one stage and off. Let’s remember him for the comfort in his music, knowing there was someone out there who understood what we were feeling. Let’s remember him for the motivation he gave us in his lyrics to go on, to keep on living. Please let’s remember him for the wonderful person that he was.

RIP Chester Charles Bennington, 1976-2017

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

R.I.P Chester Bennington

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Sorry for the delay

Hey everyone, thank you for sticking with me. Sorry that I haven't got back to posting on BTB yet. Been a crazy week at work, and night shift is killing me. I try not to use work computers for pleasure, and trying to get out a really good post on a cellphone is a nightmare. Hold onto your newsboys, I will hopefully be cranking out a few more posts soon. In the meantime shoot me some ideas of what you'd like me to do next?

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Back To Birmingham Part Eight

You had gotten ready quite hastily as you wanted to be quick and prompt for the races. Tommy was waiting for you, of course, however a concerned look on his face replacing the one of kindness you had seen him wearing earlier. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, but slowly you realized just what was happening as you neared the bottom of the stairs. The woman that had been in Tommy’s home earlier was back again her eyes like daggers, drug from your face to the bottom of the dress that Tommy had given you. Tommy cleared his throat.

“(Y/N), you will be walking in with Arthur to the races.” No trace of sympathy in his eyes. Hurt coursed through you, and then hatred for this Adona woman that had seemingly come from thin air. You may have been back in his life right now, but what was to stop her from taking back what part of him had been found in your absence? 

Arthur was waiting for you at the car, opening the door and scooting in behind you as Michael and Polly climbed into the front seat. It was a rather chilly day, but you weren’t shivering from the cold of the air, you were shivering from the cold attitude that Tommy had just given you. 

“Just who in the hell does that woman think she is? The bloody Queen......” Before you could finish, Arthur had placed his hand over your mouth and Polly’s head whipped around. Her hat almost toppling over Michael as he was driving.

“You’d better watch your mouth, (Y/N). You can talk how you like around us, in this car, right at this moment. Around that woman, you will be respectful.” Polly turned around. “And you best bloody believe she is just as important as the Queen of England.” Another emotion of hurt washed over you as you had felt like you were being scolded, and almost as if reading your mind, Polly turned around again. “Sorry love, it’s just, she is very important and very money opportunistic to keep in the Shelby Co. business. A prime investor. Tommy has already gotten on her bad side once, for defending you.....” Polly’s eyes sunk before she turned back to face the road.

Arthur had removed his hand at some point, but you had barely noticed. It felt as if all of the air had been sucked out of the cab, and you were afraid to ask what was really on your mind. It would come out eventually, but who knows about this Adona woman, Tommy had to keep her happy for the sake of business. You were happy to be with the Shelby’s once again, and finally felt like things between Tommy and you were getting better. Here you were back to square one, and second best.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Finn Cole, the way he carries himself just reminds me of the youngin who played young voldemort in the flashbacks from the pensieve.

Character

Michael Gray- S.3 E.1

Feel free to use any gifs, just like/reblog and credit if you do :)

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Thank you!

Thank you to all of the tumblrs that have liked my story so far. The support is greatly appreciated and I hope to be coming out with a few more parts soon. I want to continue with the back to Birmingham but I also would like to start something new. I'll keep you updated! :)

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Back To Birmingham Part Seven

The two days to the races had come and gone, not much had changed in the house of Tommy Shelby. It had become a pattern that he had fallen asleep in the arm chair beside the bed and watched you sleep. The distance between the two of you was still pretty huge, but you could see a glimpse of the Tommy that he used to be when you were younger. 

When you awoke, he was not sleeping in the chair. Tommy was nowhere to be found, and his car gone. A sadness crept over you, and you felt strongly that nothing had really changed since that night in the stables. He had broken free from the kiss, and you reciprocated his feelings but nothing more was said. He walked you back into the house, and retreated to his drawing room. That was that and he had been in business meetings all day, sneaking in, in the middle of the night and resting for a few hours in the arm chair. You had noticed him there when you had waken up in the middle of the night.

You sighed and sauntered away from the window and looked at yourself in the mirror. The bruises were healing but had taken on a yellowish brown tinge that was even more horrid looking than the black and blue. You looked down at the vanity in which Tommy had taken upon himself to buy at some point, goodness knows what for. Maybe part of him, had always hoped that you returned. 

Although this morning it was lined with makeup cannisters, brand new. He had left it for you, you got slightly giddy at the notion. Even though he was away, you knew that something had shifted slightly but it wasn’t a major step in the direction that you wanted it to be heading.

You dolled yourself up, blush tinting your cheeks, mascara lining your eyelashes, and a light coat of pale pink lipstick coated your lips. You pulled onto the robe that Tommy had also furnished for you tightly around your waist. The regular blouses and skirts you had been wearing wouldn’t cut it for the races, if that was where Tommy was planning on taking you.

“I have a little something for you.” Thomas peaked through the open doorway and he was holding a garment bag. “Picked it up just this morning.” 

You walked over and splay your hands across the bag, lying it on the bed and unzipping it. Revealing a emerald colored dress that would cut off at your knees, hanging also from the hanger was a golden necklace, a plain and simple chain with a rose charm.

“I had it blessed.” Tommy spoke from behind you, resting his hands on your hips, and his chin resting on your shoulder.

“You went to a priest?” You almost laughed.

He scoffed. “By a gypsy.” Once again this kind of contact had not been expected from him. He kissed the space behind you ear leading to your neck. “I know I’ve been busy since our conversation in the barn. But I wanted you to know that I want you with me today, beside me.” You could feel his breath on the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your back. “But only if you want to. I know it hasn’t been an easy few weeks for you. I’ve been harsh, and flighty.”

A warm sensation overwhelmed you, and you turned around so you were facing him. Tommy’s hands never leaving your hips. “I want to go, I haven’t seen a good betting table since I left here.” The races had been where you had first met Thomas Shelby. “It’s been ages since I’ve been to the track.” A sweet smile crossing your lips, you were tempted to kiss him but refrained. Almost afraid that he would eventually pull back into the solitude that he had coccooned himself in when you first arrived. 

“Do you remember....” He started.

“When we first met?” You finished. 

A smile crept across Thomas’ lips as he stared out the window. “You were wearing a white dress at the horse track. What on earth were your parents thinking?” 

The smile disappeared from your lips. “Those weren’t my real parents, remember?” Your Aunt and Uncle, who had taken you in upon banishment from your parents. They weren’t parental at all, and wondered how in the world they were related to your father. The Shelby’s had taken you in after finding you on the side of the road.

“But we changed that.” An adoring look in his blue eyes, and the smile crept bigger.

“Thomas Shelby always get what he wants.” You chuckled as you whispered quietly.

That was the first remark that you had ever heard come out of Poll’s mouth. The man in front of you had been the one to point you out to his family members, who begged them to stop the vehicle. You had just met a few hours before at the races, and there he was staring at your dirt covered dress, rain soaked hair, and muddy white sandles. You were shivering from the rainfall that had just come through while you were walking. Your Aunt and Uncle had left you behind, never to return. 

“We’re going to take you home, and take care of you.” He had stated back then. Wrapping a blanket around your shoulders to protect you from the cold. 

“That’s still true to this day.” He looked at you thoughtfully before reaching up to tuck a piece of curled hair back behind your ear. The moment disappeared as he took a more serious tone. “But, how are you feeling? Are you up for this?” He took a step back and removed his hands from your hips.

“I’m fine, I promise.” You rubbed your arms together, a little uncertain yourself. “I’ll be on the arm of Thomas Shelby, how can I not be?” The smile returned but in a smaller fashion this time. A car horn blared outside and you both turned toward the window.

“I’ll leave you to get ready.” With that Tommy exited the room, and closed the double doors that lead into the bedroom. Moments later you could hear murmurs from a crowd in the foyer. 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

[thenewsboysrazorblades]

Back To Birmingham Part Six

Days had passed since the breakfast at Tommy’s. He had elected to let you stay in his home, under extreme supervision. He wouldn’t let you leave the grounds, although you hadn’t been in his presence since the breakfast with the other Shelby’s. Polly had called to check on you, her carpets were ruined and stained with the blood of your punisher. She had them removed and replaced, however the blood stain had soaked through to the wood underneath and left a terrible dark spot. 

“I’m sorry Poll.” You said through the reciever.

“Oh, darling it’s not your fault. I blame that nephew of mine. Although he is a bloody good shot.” You could hear what you pressumed were John’s children in the background. 

“Hello Love.” You didn’t have to guess by now which Shelby that had been, although not a Shelby really. Michael Gray, Poll’s son spoke through.

“Don’t let Tommy hear you talkin’ to her like that.” You could imagine Poll swatting at him. 

“We’ve got business Mum, needed down at Headquarters.” Michael’s voice grew distant.

“Gotta go, (Y/N). He’ll come around, yeah?” Was the last thing she spoke before you hung up. 

You heaved a sigh, the pain from breathing had not gotten much easier over the course of a few days. You pulled your blouse up and could feel the heat radiating from the blackish purple spot located on your right side. The doctor had come and prescribed more meds, and told you that the only thing that could heal it would be time.

“You need to sort it out up here, too.” He pointed at your head, and you knew he meant you needed to talk about it. The only person you wanted to talk to had been avoiding you like the plague. His toast at breakfast was directed at you, although, he covered it up by using the deal that he had made with Alfie Solomon.

The races were in two days, and your body still looked like a mangled mess. Tommy had said you could go, depending on how you healed and rested up. The manor was beginning to look very much the same in every room, the walls were bleeding together and it was driving you insane.

“A prisoner once again.” You stated outloud to noone in particular. Thoughts raced back to being your parents home, you left your room only to eat and attend socialite activities. Although you knew that your fathers business was just as dangerous as Tommy’s. He was involved in politics, Tommy was involved in betting and guns.

“So you’re the stowaway that Thomas Shelby has been hiding.” A woman with a cigarette holder pressed to her lips had made her way into the house. 

“How....” 

“The maid let me in.” She was in a tight fitting dress, a boa wrapped around her shoulders and some ungoldy looking headpiece set on her head with a feather. She looked a few years older than Tommy, but thoughts still crossed your mind. You doubted that he would have let his bed stay cold for this long.

“Tommy isn’t here right now, and I doubt I will be of much help if your here on business.” Your eyes cut into slits.

“I’ll wait.” She made herself comfortable on the sofa in the drawing room. “Your not Tommy’s usual take.” She mouthed and took another drag from the cigarette. 

“Excuse me. I’m not a whore, if that’s what your saying.” Suddenly you felt unprotected and vulnerable. You crossed your arms across your chest, the rolled up sleeves of your blouse revealing a small trail of bruises that had yet to heal. 

“Quite right my dear, you’re much to frail. However, why else would Thomas Shelby be keeping....”

“That’s enough Adona.” Tommy walked through the doors and was adjusting his tie to loosen around his collar. “You will not speak to my guest in such a manner, I don’t care how much money you’ve come to spend. If you think that it is okay to insult my friend after the ordeal she has just been through, I will kindly show you to the door and tell you to get the hell out.” He took a seat at his desk, and picked up a pen and began writing on a few pieces of paper. “Here, the paperwork is done. You may go about your day and continue insulting everyone you come across with. Do not say another cross word to her, on your way out.” His blue eyes could cut through glass with the glare that he was giving her. 

She quietly scoffed and picked up her papers, brushing against your shoulder as she passed and allowing the ashes from the tip of her cigarette to land messily onto your bare feet. Tommy quickly pushed himself away from his desk, and was busily putting a coat over his arms. 

“Going out again? Should I expect any more visits from your past lovers?” Your voice had taken an icy tone, and Tommy cut his eyes at you.

“I don’t have time for this right now. I’ve got to go get John and Arthur out of the trouble they’ve created. I will be back late.” He adjusted the news boy cap onto his head and headed out of the door.

You shook your foot, discarding the ashes and began searching for a broom.

“I’ll get that miss.” The maid spoke.

“No, I’ve got it. I need something to do to keep my mind busy.” The maid nodded in agreement.

“Yes miss.” She went on about her other daily duties.

You had spent a majority of your time pacing past the windows, the servents in the house bringing you assortments of food throughtout the day. You didn’t want to sit down and have a proper meal, you wanted to talk to the man who had taken you in. Who had been so furious with you for so many years for leaving, and now had left you alone in his great big house for days. The last conversation shared between the two of you played in your head. 

He had told you that he didn’t think you were broken, but the very next morning his eyes said different. It wasn’t just a look of concern or worry, he pitied you and your gut wanted to empty all of its contents onto the floor when he gave you that look. You couldn’t have children, and now you wondered if that is why Tommy had distanced himself so much more. It was a coincidence that he had suddenly become more busy. Perhaps he was always like that, not wanting to be in the house alone like you were now. You were mad at him, and for what reason? There wasn’t one. You were being childish and stupid, and acting just the way you didn’t want to be viewed. Broken.

Huffing, you got up from the bed and wandered back to the outside of the manor. 

“I’m just getting some fresh air.” You called across the foyer as you stepped out of the back doors. You could really see the garden in the daylight, the sun shining brightly off of each bush and flower. Water droplets licking the edges of each petal and reflecting an array of rainbows across the yard. In the distance you could see a pond, and a few horses grazing.

You had been so cooped up in the house, you hadn’t taken the time to notice that Tommy had horses. You probably should have put shoes on, but you feared that Tommys loafers would have been a smidge too big for your tiny feet. You padded across the pasture and toward the stables. Neighing and whinnying filled your ears, and a few different smells filled your nose. 

It was clear that the stable hands had already left for the evening, and the sun was setting. You noticed a bucket full of treats and you scopped out a handful, hoping to please one of the four legged creatures. A few licked your hand, and gracefully took the treat from your palm, a few foals were nursing from their mothers. You made it to the far end, where one of the larger stables held a beautiful solid black stallion, long mane, and tail to follow. A majority of the horses in the barn you could tell were going to be for racing, and perhaps a few for pleasure riding.

The horses eyes caught your eyes, he approached the door and stuck his head through the hole, sniffing at you. You held out your hand with a treat in it, palm facing upward. The horse shook his head up and down before lowering it into your hand and taking the treat.  He allowed you to run your hand along his nose and then over his eyelid without flinching.

“He likes you.” Once again the business man had managed to sneakup on you again.

“You’ve got to stop doing that.” Taking an aggravated tone. The stallion nudged his head against your cheek, sending a slight twitch through your face. It was healing but not quick enough for your liking.

“Stop what?” He questioned and tossed an apple between his hands.

“Sneaking up on me, watching me from a distance, its unnerving. Not to mention picking and choosing when it is approriate for us to talk and when not to. I can’t keep dancing around in circles like this, with you. Not now, if this is what its going to be like, I can’t. I came back for a reason and this isn’t it.” You released the breath you had been holding in.

“First of all, I don’t sneak. Second of all, I like watching you when your in your own little world. Not to be a stalker, I want to make sure that your okay and the only  way to do that is to observe you. Yes, I have been dancing around the big picture. Business doesn’t stop just because I have you here, I trust my staff. My house is loaded with hidden weapons, and I trust that you wouldn’t leave the house that I built in your image.” There it was, the admittance again, not the exact words but the notion was there, the notion that Thomas Shelby loved you then and had never stopped.

“Tommy, I am broken. I am damaged goods. I can’t have children, I can’t give you a family, I have nothing to offer. Hell, I don’t even know why I came back here, why I thought this would be a good idea.” His face never fell once through your confession.

“You don’t have to give me a family. I already have one of those, and you’re not broken. You’ve been beaten and damaged but your spirit is still there, you’re still the same hardened woman that I fell....” He paused. “That I waited for, for all of these years. You came back to me, you felt pulled here because you knew I would protect you. I would handle everything for you, I couldn’t do that for you back then. Now, now I have that chance but you have to let me in. Don’t push me away, the past is the past. You left, you’re back. You were married, you’re divorced. Your parents kept us from contuing to be together, they’re dead. What is in the way now? You can’t have children, so what? They’re are thousands living in the streets who need a home. That’s what you are, you’re home. My home, (Y/N).” The stables grew silent, even the horses were making little noise. “Let me be here. That’s why I’ve been pressing to be so busy, I didn’t think you wanted me here. I didn’t think that you still felt the same, anymore.”

Your heart broke again, Tommy Shelby’s confession and here you were speechless. Without words, you didn’t know what to say.

“What do you want from me Thomas Shelby?” You spoke, breaking the agonizing silence.

He threw the apple to the ground, smashing it and creating a loud thunk.

“FUCKIN’ HELL WOMAN!” He gripped the sides of his head and yelled. The horses responding to the loudness. You refused to say it first, he had not said it directly, and that’s what you wanted. You wanted Thomas Shelby to say it first, those three words that you waited so long to hear. You had said it to him before, a long long time ago. The night you left Birmingham, his response was stone cold silence and a tight set jaw. Maybe if he had said it then, you wouldn’t have left.

He bit down on his knuckle before coming at you full speed, taking your face in his hands gently. Looking into your eyes, and searching them, tears filling his own as they spilled over. He was hesitating, shaking in front of you. 

“I, Thomas Shelby, love you, (Y/N).” He didn’t give you time to say it back, his mouth came crashing down onto yours. 

It was a passionate and deep kiss, his hands snaked through your hair and yours careened up his back pulling him tighter. You couldn’t get him close enough, it was like the two of you were melding together. Wet cheek to wet cheek, his tongue breaking the barrier and guiding its way into your mouth. He had backed you against the barn wall reaching for your wrists, he pushed them up and held them back to the barn wall. He broke free first, catching his breath. 

He released your hands, his eyes searching your face, worry settling in his brow. A flash of anger, and then calm, and then finally anticipation.

“I, (Y/N), love you, Thomas Shelby.” You spoke. “Always have, always will.”

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six