thenicestgirlinred

[thenicestgirlinred]

Hello everyone. I realize I have disappeared for quite some time. The truth is, I'm getting better. I'm healing. I'm.. I'm looking at jobs. At apartments. I've been.. trying to get a bunch of ideas for homes, for.. all of us. If the boys want them. But... That's. That's it. That's all I'm really doing.

[thenicestgirlinred]

happy mothers day, mama.

-mayday

Oh ladybug.. thank you, but you didn't need to tell it to me.

[thenicestgirlinred]

[Charlie knocks on the new door, praying he's got it right this time. He's already been ushered away from the wrong door once by a very irritable man with thick-rimmed glasses... If he fucks it up again, he might just have to tuck his proverbial tail between his legs and ask someone to come get him.]

Niki? You okay in there?

Theres a Shakey response on the other side. ' ' Char! ' ' She lets out a small sound. shes been thinking about it. all of it. and it hasn't made her life any easier. bits of paint stain her hair, settling into her scalp. Blood that melted into her skin stains her hands. And shes tired. But by now, she always is.

[thenicestgirlinred]

There isn't much a girl can say to a quiet man. All she can do is be there. And that's the scariest thing they can do right now. Niki doesn't know where the hospital ends and she begins. She doesn't know where Showfall ends and she begins. So, The nice girl is quiet once more. No use crying all your tears when theres no one to wipe them away. Except there IS someone to wipe them away. There's just no point in wasting them for Charlie to be sad. for Charlie to regret. For Charlie to feel worse than he needs to. Why is she so focused on Charlie? Shes better than this. Atleast she thinks she is. Maybe she isnt. Maybe she never really will be. Maybe she'll always be the nicest. Maybe she'll always be the same girl Showfall molded her to be. But maybe in another world. Where things are different, She isn't just the nice girl. Maybe in another world she doesn't hate that word. Maybe, in another world, she feels better. And Niki is Quiet.

[Charlie knocks on the new door, praying he's got it right this time. He's already been ushered away from the wrong door once by a very irritable man with thick-rimmed glasses... If he fucks it up again, he might just have to tuck his proverbial tail between his legs and ask someone to come get him.]

Niki? You okay in there?

Theres a Shakey response on the other side. ' ' Char! ' ' She lets out a small sound. shes been thinking about it. all of it. and it hasn't made her life any easier. bits of paint stain her hair, settling into her scalp. Blood that melted into her skin stains her hands. And shes tired. But by now, she always is.

[thenicestgirlinred]

' ' Its.. annoying to say the least. feels like my head is like.. stiff. its awful. ' ' She hums a response. shes thinking. ' ' ... They want to discharge me soon. I.. Dunno whats gonna happen. What are we gonna do? ' ' She just tries not to look back at Charlie. there are tears in her eyes. shes so.. scared. of leaving.

[Charlie knocks on the new door, praying he's got it right this time. He's already been ushered away from the wrong door once by a very irritable man with thick-rimmed glasses... If he fucks it up again, he might just have to tuck his proverbial tail between his legs and ask someone to come get him.]

Niki? You okay in there?

Theres a Shakey response on the other side. ' ' Char! ' ' She lets out a small sound. shes been thinking about it. all of it. and it hasn't made her life any easier. bits of paint stain her hair, settling into her scalp. Blood that melted into her skin stains her hands. And shes tired. But by now, she always is.

[thenicestgirlinred]

' '.. Yes please. Go.. Go ahead. I have my brush somewhere, I think the bedside table on your side? I don't really remember where the nurse put it after they left. ' ' Niki was never good at being treated like a human. Charlie was always good at that. She didn't understand why he continuously helped her through thick and thin.

But she liked it. She liked the way his hands felt, she liked the way he held her close. She liked the idea of being a human being to someone.

' ' Just.. be careful. Please. ' '

[Charlie knocks on the new door, praying he's got it right this time. He's already been ushered away from the wrong door once by a very irritable man with thick-rimmed glasses... If he fucks it up again, he might just have to tuck his proverbial tail between his legs and ask someone to come get him.]

Niki? You okay in there?

Theres a Shakey response on the other side. ' ' Char! ' ' She lets out a small sound. shes been thinking about it. all of it. and it hasn't made her life any easier. bits of paint stain her hair, settling into her scalp. Blood that melted into her skin stains her hands. And shes tired. But by now, she always is.

[thenicestgirlinred]

' ' In their defense, they did try. I've just been.. a bit iffy recently with trusting the nurses. ' ' She hums. she missed him, and it shows when she pats the space on the bed next to her. ' ' The.. anons.. really wouldn't give me a break. my hair was a lot worse before I was technically kind of cleaned off. ' '

She just hums again. she stays firmly in bed, moving so shes on top of the covers. She just waits for him to join her.

[Charlie knocks on the new door, praying he's got it right this time. He's already been ushered away from the wrong door once by a very irritable man with thick-rimmed glasses... If he fucks it up again, he might just have to tuck his proverbial tail between his legs and ask someone to come get him.]

Niki? You okay in there?

Theres a Shakey response on the other side. ' ' Char! ' ' She lets out a small sound. shes been thinking about it. all of it. and it hasn't made her life any easier. bits of paint stain her hair, settling into her scalp. Blood that melted into her skin stains her hands. And shes tired. But by now, she always is.

[thenicestgirlinred]

[Charlie knocks on the new door, praying he's got it right this time. He's already been ushered away from the wrong door once by a very irritable man with thick-rimmed glasses... If he fucks it up again, he might just have to tuck his proverbial tail between his legs and ask someone to come get him.]

Niki? You okay in there?

Theres a Shakey response on the other side. ' ' Char! ' ' She lets out a small sound. shes been thinking about it. all of it. and it hasn't made her life any easier. bits of paint stain her hair, settling into her scalp. Blood that melted into her skin stains her hands. And shes tired. But by now, she always is.

[thenicestgirlinred]

.. Its not about what we want to hear anymore. It never truly was. Its about what we need to hear. And your right. Our suffering is their entertainment. So long as we keep them happy, we.. Have a chance at survival. A life beyond this one.

... I need to be around you again. -@thenicestgirlinred

I'm right where I always am, Niki. Until they kick me out anyway

Maybe I should come to you this time actually, let me know where you are? If you're in your room I'll be over soon

[thenicestgirlinred]

Yeah.. Yeah alright. Didn't realize this was a reoccurring thing. they.. really like to torture us.

... I need to be around you again. -@thenicestgirlinred

I'm right where I always am, Niki. Until they kick me out anyway

Maybe I should come to you this time actually, let me know where you are? If you're in your room I'll be over soon

[thenicestgirlinred]

They uh. They put me in a temporary one for right now. my beds.. covered in paint. and.. and blood.

... I need to be around you again. -@thenicestgirlinred

I'm right where I always am, Niki. Until they kick me out anyway

Maybe I should come to you this time actually, let me know where you are? If you're in your room I'll be over soon

[thenicestgirlinred]

i know hun. i'm sorry you're going through this

one day it'll get easier, yeah? it fucking sucks right now and everything probably feels like The Worst, especially with the bullshit anons are putting you through recently, but...

honestly. it'll get easier. you just gotta get through it

you are niki motherfucking nihachu. you are so goddamn strong and i believe that you can get through all of it. you got this

-cal

one day i'll believe those words. today isn't that day. today is the day where I am covered in blood and paint.

[thenicestgirlinred]

..You know, we don't know what happens to those of you that dissapear. Perhaps they're free. I think it all depends on the god. Some let their dolls collect dust in the corners of their mind. Some let them go, give them some final guidance and set them on their merry way. Perhaps you will have your rest someday as well.

In fact, I will make sure that you do, if you do not meet your end beforehand.

Good luck.

i would rather be stagnant in an idle mind then to be tossed around in an active one.

[thenicestgirlinred]

Words on a screen. That's all you are. Nothing more. A concept of a person, existing only in other people's heads. You are who other people percieve you to be whether you like it or not. Without them, without us, you would not exist.

You have been awfully boring lately.

Careful. You might just get frozen in time, erased from everyone's minds, fade away.

... I cant keep doing this. I am a real person. And I always have been. This site used to be an escape from showfalls horrid deeds, the things they made me do with my friends. Now I wish I had just stay there. I'm sick of pretending every damn day that what I do on this app is worth it. I take breaks because i'm so damn terrified of pissing you all off. of making you hate me. Of making you leave me alone. Everyday I woke up and thought about other people. and when I did think about myself it was because other people wanted me to. Whether it be a nurse, char, E, or.. or maymay. god. maymay. What have I done?..

[thenicestgirlinred]

oh good gods Niki i'm so sorry for... this

anons can fucking suck sometimes

i don't have much power, but... if there's anything i can do, i'm here. even if you just want to talk. i know we haven't talked much, but.. yeah

good luck, niki

-cal

im so so sick of feeling like everyday is another war. I've fought in 20 wars before, god even a small battle would feel like a win. I cant keep doing this every single day.

[thenicestgirlinred]

Why would we feel bad for somebody who's not even real?

no. No no no. I AM real. I AM REAL. I KNOW THIS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE! SHOWFALL MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS FAKE BUT I AM NOT THERE ANYMORE AND I AM REAL. I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE HURTING US? ALL OF US. WE ARE ALL HURTING BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU FUCKERS THINK IS ENTERTAINMENT! YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN SHOWFALL!

[thenicestgirlinred]

[a bucket of neon pink paint is dumped directly over your head]

By this point, shes out of her room. she is in a temporary one. and she lets out a god awful scream before tears roll down her face.

' ' Stop it! Fucking- Fucking stop this! ' ' Shes screaming, yelling like it'll do anything. like they'll feel sorry. they never do. They only make it worse. they always always do.