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the color signatures of various elements when ignited

FB image credit: Ceres Science

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"New Testament God is merciful and kind, Old Testament God is wrathful and vindictive!"

Old Testament God: "Look kid, you just invented murder and fratricide, even the planet itself is freaked out about it, I can't just let that slide, but you are right that people will want to commit vigilante justice against you, so you know what? I'm gonna give you a special tattoo to warn everyone that you're off-limits."

Old Testament God: "The Earth is crying. The Earth is literally crying, that's how badly the humans have messed things up. I'll give them a couple centuries, hopefully they'll fix things by then, but if not I'll have to do something drastic"

Old Testamemt God: "I might have gotten a bit carried away with the whole 'flood the Earth' thing. Gonna make sure not to do that again"

Old Testament God: "Okay, fine, if you can find me ten people in Rapist City who aren't evil, I won't nuke it. Not gonna go any lower than ten"

New Testament God: "Yeah, if you don't devote your entire life to me I will torture you for all eternity. Peace and love!"

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This post was voted on by our Patreon.

The first version of this was posted in 2020, back in the very start of our page. It was an important primer then and it is again now.

In any good English 101 course, you are taught to define terms before writing the rest of your paper. Understanding how misinformation is spread through conflation, confusion, and intentional ambiguity is vital and necessary.

As we have, in the last months, been exploring Christian Zionism on our page, we've seen the comments run into issues of confusion on this very topic.

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Hebrew names latinized into English will never not be funny to me like. How the fuck did you get Sam from שמואל? The whole first letter changed. “Sam” in Modern Hebrew means narcotic drug. That’d be like if your name was Matthew but you went by Meth for short

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How people look at u when you don’t give them a Christmas present after telling them that you’re not going to give them a Christmas present because you don’t celebrate Christmas but they got you a Christmas present and for unknown reasons expected you to get them one too despite not celebrating Christmas

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Going to a seder at a family friend's place tonight and I have been informed multiple times that someone there has changed her name to Stephanie, but because it seems nobody wants to deadname her, nobody has specified who Stephanie is. So I guess I'm just going to get a surprise Stephanie when I arrive.

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Passover

Frogs are the only family friendly plague, so frog toys are everywhere at your table.

Everywhere.

This is true even if there are no children at the Seder. 

There are so many frogs you start to doubt the existence of other plagues. 

The plague of wild beasts was actually 100 frogs in a lion costume. 

The plague of livestock sickness was actually 100 frogs in a cow costume pretending to fall over.  

The plague of hail was lots of frogs doing cannonballs.

The plague of darkness was so many frogs they blocked the sun. 

The firstborns didn’t die, they just ran away to join roving gangs of intelligent frogs. 

F R O G S

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Golem

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Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

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Doing more embroidery :) I'm really enjoying it!

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Fun jewish pin back buttons

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The exit sign of a middle school hallway is a sort of mezuzah for tween boys if you really think about it.

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leave your shitty transmisogynist partner

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In case you missed it yesterday, my beautiful book is officially available for pre-order!

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Bookshop

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I’m sick of the Hamantaschen debate!

“It’s Haman’s hat!”

“No it’s his ears!”

“Actually it’s his pockets”🤓

WRONG! It’s his pussy you cowards!!

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