theo-ramsay

[theo-ramsay]

You were a mess for a lot longer than months, boo. You had it out with Alex SO MUCH. From you? Yes. I talk to her like every other day and I think she’s tired of me.

Today is an okay day. I don’t feel great, but I’m not bad either.

Hey, like 20 months is still months! It was hard, boo. Losing her at such a tender age where your skin looks horrible. Oh please, I fought with Alex this morning over a hot water heater. Oh listen, Louise is a gift and I’m going to give her a call.

Anything I can do? I can steal the baby and teach her dirty words to really get Alex going.

[theo-ramsay]

Um, it’s going. I dunno. Some days are good, some days are bad. Mom’s struggling pretty hard.

Well, of course. Loss is hard. I was a mess for months. Don’t blame her at all. Think she’d appreciate a phone call?

Is today good or bad?

[theo-ramsay]

Gotta make my baby feel appreciated.

You’re a prize, Mr. Winchester.

How’s it going, boo?

[theo-ramsay]

You sure as hell are though.

Why Barry, you’re a man after my own heart.

[theo-ramsay]

this humidity ain’t cute anymore

[theo-ramsay]

Thanks, babe. She’ll be glad to hear you’re coming. She’s trying to pretend like she’s fine, but she’s not. “I gave your father up years ago.” Yeah, okay Louise.

Oh my god. Well, you tell Louise I’m coming over there for her. I know she still cared, she’s the best. He was like you, you’re a hard man to quit Barry.

[theo-ramsay]

I think… I think I’m good. I’m not surprised, y’know? We knew he was sick towards the end of his sentence, and he didn’t exactly get better once he got out. My mom said he wasn’t really taking all his meds routinely when she’d go check on him.

Just sucks. I’ll miss him.

I know you will. Your dad was pretty great. I know it’s tough, especially towards the end. You don’t have to be surprised but it’s still...shocking might be the word I’m searching for.

I know you will. Of course I’ll be there for you and Mama Winchester.

[theo-ramsay]

Do you want to go to his funeral with me?

oh...yeah, of course.

Wanna talk or are you good?

[theo-ramsay]

Do you remember my dad?

I do.

[theo-ramsay]

I actually have a question.

Is that your serious face? I like it.

Shoot, boo.

[theo-ramsay]

Such a flirt, Ramsay. Ask me to dinner first.

Bro, I’ll wine and dine the hell out of you.

[theo-ramsay]

Don’t mind me.

Everybody was kung fu fighting. Those kicks were fast as lightning.

[theo-ramsay]

On a little horse, maybe with a little flag.  Really? You and my dad? You? But you’re so chill. Him I get because he just yells by default. Oh my god you fought over my sister? Oh my god that does sound like you and Barry. Do you light candles and incense? I think I want you there. When we discuss it.

Rude.

You know, I really do. She’s just the absolute worst influence on my life. Well that’s just rude. I’m going to fart on her pillow.  Yeah, we still have that book. Piper read it out loud to Booger when we got him so he would understand it too. I don’t think he ever did but it was cute.

UNCLE THEO. I HAVE TO SIT IN A ROOM WITH HIM. PLEASE.

Rather, the dicks she was going to pummel.

Yeah, me. That year I lost my mom was a tough one for me. Because I was 17 and a piece of shit to start with so adding a bunch of emotional trauma really gave me the bite I needed. Barry broke up his share of fights that year. It was real tough on your dad too, it was when we got Rose. Lot of stress, lot of tension. We handled it about as well as expected. Oh yeah, you know me and Barry, we like to...set the mood. Of course I’ll be there.

Tough.

That just SOUNDS like Piper, she probably honestly thought Booger gave a shit. I don’t even feed that cat. He just scowls at me and he doesn’t give a shit who I sleep with.

Well, I should be so lucky to be able to sit in a room with him.

She was about nut-height then.

[theo-ramsay]

It NEVER feels like he listens. He just says what he wants to say and that’s it. Maybe, you or mom. Mom can kind of tell him off if he goes too off the rails. She’s good like that, but we as a family are not especially good at the baring souls thing.

Let. It. Go.

Yeah, but I don’t have many people to begin with. I like it, that we have this thing. That I can come to you about stuff like this, it makes me feel less alone. With my dad? Or with me? OH MY GOS UNCLE THEO. HE’S MY TEACHER. KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.

My apologies to your mom then. Cass is a MESS. I’m not surprised, this is the same Rose who brought a bat to Cass’ grandparents house to beat their shins if they tried to take Cass,

He would be an excellent town crier, he just yells whatever he needs to say and then walks back up the hill. Your dad and I used to get in some knock-down drag-out fights. They were pretty legendary for a while right when your sister showed up. I mean. your family isn’t but then you have me and Barry. We make a whole night of it. Of course I’m here for you, if you need me to talk to Alex or your mom I will.

No.

You need friends that aren’t my daughter, she’s so mean to you. I heard her call you Ash-hole the other day. Your dad, I really can’t recall if I ever told him that I was bi. Like, I don’t think that sentence ever left my mouth, it was just sort of understood. I had that talk with you, remember, I got you that book when you were little. If this is the hill I’m prepared to die on, so be it. Mr. Walker is hot as fuck and he deserves to know about it. That hot teacher thing is totally A Look and I'm here for it.

“Batting practice”, my dick.

[theo-ramsay]

I HATE talks with him, he’s the WORST when it comes to this. I know he doesn’t mean but holy fuck is it hard to talk to him. Mom’s fine–I think. She hasn’t said anything different to me, but I don’t know what she’s telling other people. We just don’t talk about how we feel about it. Ever.

I will wear nipple mittens.

I think that’s what I’m most scared of. Losing people. My dad said he always knew because you openly lusted after Mr. Walker.

Your mom sounds awesome. I’m mad technically none of us got to meet her. Only Rose got to see her house by breaking and entering.

Alex is....I’m not going to say he’s the easiest to talk to, do you think it’d help if I were there? Your mom’s not much of a gossip, she hasn’t said anything to me other than sort of checking in on you.

Oh, is that in now? I’m not hip to the fads, you see. Because I’m too old.

If this is something that drives people away from you, I absolutely promise that they’re not worth it. I actually don’t think we ever had that talk, if I’m honest. I was like, way out of the closet when we met. What’s this past-tense thing? I still hold my torch for Mr. Walker, he’s fucking hot. You’ve seen him, right?

I wish you all could have met her. Cass reminds me of her so much. That’s pretty classic Rose, though. She was a bold baby, I don’t think you or Piper would have done that.

[theo-ramsay]

I think he does too. I don’t know. We don’t talk about it and he kind of gives off the vibe that he doesn’t want it to happen yet. But I want it too. I thought I was just FAT and oh my god. I’m going to live my life without a shirt on. I hope he’ll let me. I don’t know how much longer I can wait.

I’m…touched by that. I–Dad told me about it, a little. I don’t think he really got into the nitty gritty of it. Did everyone like…get over it? Eventually? Or did you lose…people.

I think it’s been long enough that it might have to be a talk. Even just easing him in. Your dad hates things he doesn’t know so it might be a good time to let him in on how it’s going. How’s your mom with all this? I mean, winter might be a little uncomfortable without a shirt but I’m not here to judge. 

I was maybe a little younger than you. I lost a couple of people but for the most part everyone was fine with it. My mom was all about it and she was pretty much the only person I really cared about to accept it. But I know coming out as trans is something entirely different. Hence, websites.

[theo-ramsay]

I know that inwardly, that he’s going to be fine with it. But I always just kind of…panic. What if he doesn’t want me to get it because it’s too permenant? I can’t bind forever, I put it on backwards and thought I was gonna die.

You looked at websites? About this?

Praise Be.

Nephew.

It is permanent but I think at this point, he knows this is happening. He’s grieving but at some point, you have to live as your truth. He loves you. I KNEW IT. I heard you cursing when you took it off. It’s no way to live and this is something you’ve wanted for a long time.

Yes, I went on websites. When you came out to me, it felt necessary. I remember when I came out and it was a big deal back then so I wanted to be...ready.

So nephew, what do you say?