theo-the-cat-guy

[theo-the-cat-guy]

Agree

headaches are the worst of the worst of the worst of the worst agree

[theo-the-cat-guy]

✨🏳️‍⚧️ A short pride comic, hope you’re all well 🏳️‍⚧️✨

[theo-the-cat-guy]

"Do you want them to date or are you only saying that because concieving of emotional intimacy outside of a romantic context seems difficult or uncomfortable to you" "I actually think that emotional intimacy outside romance is bad"

Fucking allos

Do you actually ship them or do you want them to be trapped together in a cave-in where one of them is injured and they have to talk to keep them distracted and stay sane while they wait for help, and end up opening up about their vulnerabilities and bond and then grow desperate as one starts to slip from consciousness while the other begs them to stay awake—

[theo-the-cat-guy]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

[theo-the-cat-guy]

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

[theo-the-cat-guy]

A Matschies tree kangaroo called Puzzle for your viewing pleasure!

[theo-the-cat-guy]

I just really like the word butch, it's a pretty word <3

[theo-the-cat-guy]

me: man my cock is so chafed. who could have done this.

the common cockchafer:

me: the common what

[theo-the-cat-guy]

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

[theo-the-cat-guy]

Reblog to head butt prev (affectionately of course).

[theo-the-cat-guy]

how do i kill the idea of interviews? not like kill things facilitating them like companies and hr but the very concept of it

i want to reach into the noosphere and stab the very concept from the collective human consciousness

what i guess im getting at is this appeals to you then apply to my interview killer taskforce where the best of you might have a chance to work with me to kill interviews once and for all

[theo-the-cat-guy]

[theo-the-cat-guy]

An Idea To Prevent A Nuclear War

[theo-the-cat-guy]

No! Little green guy reveal yourself! I'll fuck you little green guy!

It's Make A Terrible Comic Day again

[theo-the-cat-guy]

[theo-the-cat-guy]

I had a dream that opened immediately to me sitting on the edge of an indoor, hotel swimming pool. I was in a bathing suit with my feet dangling in the water. I knew right away that this was a dream, and I thought to myself that it was a pleasant one, because I love hotel pools so much. I love when they're so warm and accompanied by a hot tub as well that the entire room is steamy. I love when there are big windows so you can see winter outside. I love the children making friends and inventing intricate games in the water with strange children they'll never see again. I was enjoying all of that, when a woman appeared beside me, sitting with her feet in the water.

It was as if she blipped into existence, but it also felt that perhaps she was there before, and I hadn't noticed her. We both took a moment to look startled, and then we said hello. She looked like she was in her 60s or 70s. I started on small talk, and then she calmly and politely told me that she believed she was dying. I didn't know what to say. I said, "Oh. Are you sick?"

She said, "No. Right now. I think I'm dying right now."

She pointed across the swimming pool, and sure enough, she was there too, lying on the ground while someone performed CPR on her. Everyone was silent. The children stood in the pool and watched, ignoring their parents frantic, silent waving to come out.

The woman told me that the young woman and man beside her were her adult children. The children behind them were her grandchildren. Her husband was in their hotel room. I still didn't know what to say, so I asked her about her children.

She was worried about her son, who was going through a terrible divorce. She said he needed her. I told her that he would be okay. I told her about losing my dad when I was young and the way my friends and family took care of me. She was happy to hear it. She said she felt better about leaving. Then she said, "OH! I think I'm going back."

She was gone in an instant, and across the swimming pool she started vomiting water. I thought, "How nice I could keep her company during that ordeal" and "I should have asked her name so I could reach out to her." And then I woke up feeling like I didn't sleep at all.

[theo-the-cat-guy]

i am a simple man. I see a creature. I walk over and pet the creature. This is what life is all about baby